Good Relationship Articles
- Thread starter cecilia
- Start date
Ncmeowmeow35
sarNie Oldmaid
Wow casanovee! Lol hey if the heart says it isn't then it isn't. My mom is trying to arrange a guy for me too but heck after one failed engagement and two failed marriages, I think I'm good for now. I'm ok with dating and he leaves afterward.
Ncmeowmeow35
sarNie Oldmaid
Nope that isn't. Do what makes you happy so that when you hit 40 or 50, you won't look back with regrets lol.
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai
Staff member
No men do it all the time, so why can't us women do what is best for ourselves? Psft! It's only wrong if you promised to commit to all of them haha!sarN said:
sarN
sarNie Granny
^^^ so true girl!!! I never make promise to be committed , I tell them the truth that he will have to win me b/c I'm talking to other guys -- date at your own risk, I learn my lesson , I will not lead man on & if I feel it become to serious I break it off just like my last date to go watch 50 shade of gray , o' he was so beautiful w/ flawless skin & had long dreadlocks & big white lovely teeth , I play w/ his hair , I love it that much & probably more than him lol. There was only one thing I dislike about him & it goes w/ most men , he talk to much about sex to the point of annoying & I was trying to find a connection that suit us both but there was none & I was honest w/ him when I reject his offer for another date , I told him I find him very attractive but I feel my virtue is at risk & I feel uncomfortable & if we go out again I will have to bring my mother & if you willing to accept my term I might see you again. I was making light joke just to make the suitation less dramatic & he laugh it off & took it nicely . He do come by the shop to talk to me but I make sure he know I'm dating someone ^^^ it was just an excuse b/c I know man doesn't have much patient , they will give up , it work all the time! My friend said its my fault I choose a wrong movie for a first date & thats why sex is on his head but 90% of men have that on their mind everyday ^^^ A good man will respect the woman wishes if she tell him to drop the topic & he did not . Beautiful man are the most dangerous one b/c they think woman are hollow enough to accept them despite their bad intention to seduce on a first date , sadly, I'm just boys crazy but not dumb.
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai
Staff member
sarN said:
Lol you go girl! It is always good to let them know your real intentions that way they won't freak out on you. There is this guy who really likes me and he is always so flirtatious and gets so sexual! I have to stop him all the time and remind him I am MARRIED. He was like, "If you're happy then you won't flirt with me." I don't flirt with him. I just say hi to be polite and he starts talking, and lately he has been popping up to places I hang out on campus and it is creepy as hell. I got sick of it so told him if he doesn't stop, I'll get a restraining order against him. The next day some friends came up to ask me, "You broke up with (insert his name here)?" Me: ... Uh what are you talking about? Them: He said ya'll broke up that's why we don't see him around you anymore. I was like wtf? CREEPY. I told them I'm happily married and never saw that guy as more than an acquaintance lol. There was another guy I met about 2 years ago at my old school we were good friends and he is much younger than me. When I met him he was 18 and fresh out of high school and enlisted in the military, but was going to school also. We had the same class and studied together alot with our friends, and after awhile I noticed things got kind of weird because he used to send me messages late night and he would always be so nice. My best friend thought I was imagining things because maybe he was just, "A nice guy." My husband started telling me that the guy likes me and alot. I thought things were weird but didn't assume he liked me or anything, and after awhile things got more awkward cause he would blow off like pretty young girls just to go study with me, this wouldn't be so weird, but after awhile he started to call me "baby" when I asked him to stop because it's weird and awkward because I'm married, He started getting an attitude every time he hears anything about my husband. I was like okay I can't be friends with you anymore. So after a year of a good friendship I stopped talking to him, I should have figured out something was wrong when he choose to transfer to the same school I did
My husband started telling me that I am to "nice" and don't know when guys have more intention towards me. I always tell him he's exaggerating, and he's like "No, trust me when guys are around you they start to have feelings." Again, I think he's just over exaggerating because I'm not good looking, and don't have that kind of aura lol. The comment I hate most from people is, "You don't act like you're married." I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL! How does one act like they are married? Isn't a wedding band enough? Do I need to get a tattoo on my forehead that says "MARRIED." My friends are always telling me it's because I go to school, and I am always out doing some kind of work for school or for family. "Most girls who are married stay home and let their husband take care of them." I'm not that kind of girl though. I need my independence! Also, I think my husband loves me because of my ability to be independent with or without him. He hates sometimes when I am out alone, but knows he can't stop me, and now feels better about it knowing I can defend myself lol.
Ncmeowmeow35
sarNie Oldmaid
Lol i got that a lot too when i was married. I asked how are married people supposed to act? It wasn't like i crawled onto their laps and flirt with them. I make conversations, i joke, i laugh, are married people not supposed to do that? I guess once you're married, you are supposed to act as if your life is over.
sarN
sarNie Granny
if you want a tattoo come down my shop I'll do it personally :heart: I learn from my past experience w/ men b/c at one point I honestly did lead them on to believe we can be more than just friend & in the process i broke their heart . I was lucky that those man were older & very understanding & mature about the whole situation . I was young & foolish & take advantage of their affection for my own selfish need. I promise myself to be honest w/ the future man/boys I date . If I'm not ready for commitment i lay down the rule & I wanted them to respect my wishes . I always talk about scoring on young man & pray for one like a starve cougar but honestly I prize myself very high & prefer they win my affection before I even consider kissing you. I do want a man , lord know i pray for one but he must deserve me as well .I'm a good catch. I will worship the ground he walk on lolll , fan him night & day , feed him grape & make beautiful babies for him but in return he must respect my wishes & give me time & trust me. So far none of the men I dated since I came back from oversea , give me that kind of patient & sex is more important than what i like to eat . Does every guys think its' that easy ? Yes, I'm a big flirt but if i make a statement I wishes for them to listen . I guess my sister is right , I'm a teaser , most guys doesn't see me as a nice girl but a slut lolll. I'm not. Just difficult.
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai
Staff member
A little off topic but still deals with relationships. Does anyone else find naming your baby after someone you think is hot is disturbing? My friend her husband wants to name their unborn daughter after Charlotte Mckinney this future Kate Upton replacement model lol. I was like you like Charlotte because her looks? Him: Yeah, I would have an affair with her if opportunity presented itself (some other explicit things). I'm like so you are going to name your daughter after someone you see as a sex icon? My friend can't say anything because they made a deal that if the baby is a girl he names it and if it is a boy then she names it. The first name he wanted to name his daughter was after his ex girlfriend and first love. I looked at my friend like "How did you let a guy like this get you pregnant"
I would never let my husband name our kids after an ex...that seems wrong on so many level. When we had kids, I told my husband you can pick the middle name only. I'm the one carrying the baby so I will get the final say in the first name. When I had our second son, I name both his first and middle name. I had a horrible pregnancy with the first kid...and by the second kid, I was like screw it. If I went through that much pain I am going to name the baby...end of story lol.
Back to the dating...I think it's a good thing. If I had to do it all over again, I would date more. The experience when entering marriage is priceless. I didn't have any so I was so clueless as to what to do in a relationship. I had to learn along the way and that's a lot of work. Marring someone you barely know is really hard. The mistakes and stumble during the growing process of a marriage is at times a hair pulling moments.
But with us, we agreed if we had a chance to date each other, we probably would not get marry to each other. We are too opposite to make it work as bf/gf. But since it's arranged marriage we somehow learned as we go. Doesn't sound romantic but since it's almost 16 years it's going to be as good as it gets lol
Back to the dating...I think it's a good thing. If I had to do it all over again, I would date more. The experience when entering marriage is priceless. I didn't have any so I was so clueless as to what to do in a relationship. I had to learn along the way and that's a lot of work. Marring someone you barely know is really hard. The mistakes and stumble during the growing process of a marriage is at times a hair pulling moments.
But with us, we agreed if we had a chance to date each other, we probably would not get marry to each other. We are too opposite to make it work as bf/gf. But since it's arranged marriage we somehow learned as we go. Doesn't sound romantic but since it's almost 16 years it's going to be as good as it gets lol
Ncmeowmeow35
sarNie Oldmaid
Wait, you guys didn't date before you got married?byebye said:
Oh heck no! His head would bleed if mine ever suggested naming our child after his ex. Actually if he really wants that then he'll be naming her after me. :numchuck:KhoOnxNouxWanxJai said:A little off topic but still deals with relationships. Does anyone else find naming your baby after someone you think is hot is disturbing? My friend her husband wants to name their unborn daughter after Charlotte Mckinney this future Kate Upton replacement model lol. I was like you like Charlotte because her looks? Him: Yeah, I would have an affair with her if opportunity presented itself (some other explicit things). I'm like so you are going to name your daughter after someone you see as a sex icon? My friend can't say anything because they made a deal that if the baby is a girl he names it and if it is a boy then she names it. The first name he wanted to name his daughter was after his ex girlfriend and first love. I looked at my friend like "How did you let a guy like this get you pregnant"
sarN
sarNie Granny
I always thought if I have kids their name are one , two , three , four , five or "ON" , "YOUR" , "MARK" , "GETSET", "GO" . I know it sound silly but those are the name i wanted since i was a little girl lolll. I use to draw kiddie babbies picture and name each one of them . I love babies . I always wanted a big family . When I grow old if i'm mad at one kid I can go to another one haha
@Mcmeowmeow35....
No, we did not date before we got married. I still till this day wished I had at least date a couple of guys before getting married (unless, you count someone I met online and never amount to anything). I got married young at 20, back then I see everything good. I went into the marriage pretty much with a naïve look at it and to a certain extend an innocent view. But the first 2 years was a test on the marriage...nothing was going right. And seriously, the growing as you go in a marriage is a horrible way to learn. Many times, I asked myself what the heck am I doing?
We struggle through things because we were learning about each other and there are areas we just didn't like about one another. Arranged marriage can work...a lot have worked but it takes plenty of patience to see it through. When we reached 10 years, I shake my head at times, can't believe we made it that far. Now that we are inching towards 16 I have no idea how we hung in there lol.
No, we did not date before we got married. I still till this day wished I had at least date a couple of guys before getting married (unless, you count someone I met online and never amount to anything). I got married young at 20, back then I see everything good. I went into the marriage pretty much with a naïve look at it and to a certain extend an innocent view. But the first 2 years was a test on the marriage...nothing was going right. And seriously, the growing as you go in a marriage is a horrible way to learn. Many times, I asked myself what the heck am I doing?
We struggle through things because we were learning about each other and there are areas we just didn't like about one another. Arranged marriage can work...a lot have worked but it takes plenty of patience to see it through. When we reached 10 years, I shake my head at times, can't believe we made it that far. Now that we are inching towards 16 I have no idea how we hung in there lol.
sarN
sarNie Granny
I don't know how you do it girl b/c you don't even know your husband beforehand & then got married LMAO! I was arrange marriage but I told my parent to give me some more time & I dated my fiancees for 2 years & I still couldn't love the man ! It took me that long to broke it off haha ^^ my parent was mad at the fact i didn't say anything sooner & waited till after the engagement ceremony where EVERYONE was invited & then just return everything after . They were embarrassed.
sarN
sarNie Granny
today a client ask me out & i told him i have 21 boyfriends but he want to be 22nd , he ok for me to have other man while dating him & he keep saying im to pretty , ok , b/c im pretty ........ladies he just want to score ..men http://youtu.be/DtkIyWQ05gA
Yeah Sarn, there are times I really don't know how I do it. And there are times, I resent the arranged thing because I missed that spark or the time when you date.
Ladies, you guys need to check out this movie called "arranged marriage" it is pretty good. It's about a Jewish girl and a Muslim girl...where their parents are trying to arranged their marriage. The Jewish girl is so pretty. Anyways, I thought it was good enough to keep my attention until the end.
Ladies, you guys need to check out this movie called "arranged marriage" it is pretty good. It's about a Jewish girl and a Muslim girl...where their parents are trying to arranged their marriage. The Jewish girl is so pretty. Anyways, I thought it was good enough to keep my attention until the end.
Ncmeowmeow35
sarNie Oldmaid
Sometime dating beforehand doesn't mean much. I mean look at mine. They say in a marriage you never stop learning about one another but when you do, it is time to move on.
CTR
The Realist guy here period
For me, life is a journey and so is a relationship. I don't personally believe that there is a perfect couple or a perfect relationship. In every relationship, there will always be conflicts, crisis, and many others. It is how those couples handle those adversaries that will define how the relationship turn out. Those couple must be committed to each other in the long run, they must have mutual respect, give each other spaces, not rush to judgment, and be forgiving.
I have seen to many people that have said that so and so is my life partner or that it is true love. If that is correct, why are the number of divorces so high? I have come to my own conclusion that marriage is more than just a piece of paper, more than just a ring, a ceremony, etc. You as a person must understand who you are and love yourself first and foremost. I'm not talking about being selfish but rather a self-introspection of yourself as a person. What do you like? What makes you tick? What are your passion? What drives you? Have you accomplished your goals?
Being from an Asian background, age is always being pushed around and people are always pushing you as a person to get marry when a lot of us are not mentally prepare for it. People mature at different rates and they value things differently. Some might value kids, some might value stability, etc. As I am getting up there in age, I am beginning to feel the pressure from society (friends and family) about getting marriage. I just feel like it should not be their perrogative if I get marry right now or that a lot of my friends have started family. I am different, I think differently from them and my values are different from them. It is not that I think I am better than them but that I value things differently than them. I value freedom, goals and accomplishments, personal experiences, and many more than our traditional values. For me, marriage shouldn't be about that paperwork that said you're official marry. It shouldn't be about that ring or gift during the year. If you're thinking about the person you love, you should buy it whenver you think about them not just on Valentine Day, Christmas, etc. A relationship should be free flowing not something that is restrictive or suffocating.
I have seen to many people that have said that so and so is my life partner or that it is true love. If that is correct, why are the number of divorces so high? I have come to my own conclusion that marriage is more than just a piece of paper, more than just a ring, a ceremony, etc. You as a person must understand who you are and love yourself first and foremost. I'm not talking about being selfish but rather a self-introspection of yourself as a person. What do you like? What makes you tick? What are your passion? What drives you? Have you accomplished your goals?
Being from an Asian background, age is always being pushed around and people are always pushing you as a person to get marry when a lot of us are not mentally prepare for it. People mature at different rates and they value things differently. Some might value kids, some might value stability, etc. As I am getting up there in age, I am beginning to feel the pressure from society (friends and family) about getting marriage. I just feel like it should not be their perrogative if I get marry right now or that a lot of my friends have started family. I am different, I think differently from them and my values are different from them. It is not that I think I am better than them but that I value things differently than them. I value freedom, goals and accomplishments, personal experiences, and many more than our traditional values. For me, marriage shouldn't be about that paperwork that said you're official marry. It shouldn't be about that ring or gift during the year. If you're thinking about the person you love, you should buy it whenver you think about them not just on Valentine Day, Christmas, etc. A relationship should be free flowing not something that is restrictive or suffocating.
I think marriage is hard to obtain because as we get through life things changed and so are the feelings. Most men go through that crazy thing called "midlife crisis" and wants something younger than the wife they have for more than 10 or 20 years. And the longer you are married the harder to maintain that feeling of being in love. You go through the routine of life and your comfort zone and it's a natural thing and by the time you realized, to some it's too late.
My sister just celebrate their 25th anniversary a couple of weeks ago. She married her husband without never meeting him but just talking on the phone. But their marriage, is one I think most would not endure. They argue so much, curse so much I wonder what do they have in the marriage or what is worth to hang on to. I love my sister to death, but there are times I get frustrated by the way she treats her husband. Granted, at first he wasn't good himself but he changed for the better while she changed for the worst. Those two are not going anywhere, somehow I see them married till death due them part...but they are not happy.
My sister just celebrate their 25th anniversary a couple of weeks ago. She married her husband without never meeting him but just talking on the phone. But their marriage, is one I think most would not endure. They argue so much, curse so much I wonder what do they have in the marriage or what is worth to hang on to. I love my sister to death, but there are times I get frustrated by the way she treats her husband. Granted, at first he wasn't good himself but he changed for the better while she changed for the worst. Those two are not going anywhere, somehow I see them married till death due them part...but they are not happy.