CHAPTER 32
SONGS PLAYING: MARIAH CAREY - HATE U
"You're a fool…." she utters to herself, resting her head on the coffee table, staring at glass of wine in front of her. She twirls the wine glass, observing the motion of the wine.
"He never loved you…" the wine glass touches the tips of her lips and she tilts her head back, letting the wine slips down her throat. The tears still pours from her eyes like a never-ending waterfall. What has become of her? She sets the wine glass down-- her 3rd glass of the night so far yet she's nowhere feeling the buzzed she hoped for. Odd. She didn't care about being drunk at a time like this. There's to much going on around her to be thinking about being drunk.
She grabs the bottle of wine, pouring another glass for herself. She begins to recall the phone call from Davika who asked to meet up with Yaya.
"What do you want?" Yaya asked Davika in seriousness, avoiding her eye contact.
"Why don't you have a seat first?" Davika shrugged and pulled out a chair for Yaya, "We should chitchat a little."
"I'm fine standing up. Thank you." she glared at Davika, "I don't have time to chitchat."
"Suit yourself…" she reclined back in the chair.
"Why you invited me out today? And how did you get my number?" Yaya asked.
"I just wanted to have lunch with you and have a nice little conversation. Is that so wrong?" she smiled innocently at Yaya.
"I don't have much time. So just say what it is you have to say so I can go on with my business." Yaya replied.
"Fine…" Davika exhaled out loud, "I'll cut to the chase." she stood up, "I want you to leave my Barry alone." she crossed her arms with seriousness written all over her face.
Yaya stared at her directly in the eyes and saw the wickedness behind them. "I haven't talked to him in two weeks. Doesn't that tell you something? "
Davika smirked, "Oh really…? Two weeks…?" her eyes widen. "Wow…Oh yeah, that's right-- almost forgot… It's because he's too busy spending his days with me…" she winked at Yaya, who rolled her eyes in disgusted. "Sorry Doll…" she smirked at Yaya.
"If you're here just to brag then I have nothing more to say. Goodbye." she turned around and headed for the exit.
"Before you leave Doll--" she called out to Yaya, who stopped midway and glanced over her shoulder. "I think you should take that ring off. You're not engaged into Barry anymore-- He still loves me, you know…" she crossed her arm with a big grin on her face, "The truth is he never stopped loving me--You're just my replacement… and since I'm back in the picture… well-- you can exit quietly and I'll forget this little incident ever happen between you and him." she grinned and waved goodbye to Yaya.
Yaya swallowed hard upon hearing those harsh words but she held her composure. "Good for you." she forced a smile on her face, "I'll pretend that I never knew Nadech so you can have him back" she turned around then headed for the door.
She wipes her eyes harshly, hearing Davika's taunting voice inside her mind. Although she came across as being strong in front of Davika, she was miserable inside. Defeated once again. She was dying to cry but she fought back those tears. That wasn't the place and time to cry, specially not in front of an ex-girlfriend.
Yaya finishes her forth glass and sets the glass on the table. She glances at the ring Nadech gave to her which hugged perfectly on her finger. Tears slowly begin to stream down the side of her face once more as she touches the ring. She slowly pulls it out but something prevents her from taking it out. She slips it back on, unsure why she can't find the courage to remove the ring. It's almost as if it has a hold on her.
It's been two weeks since the incident she witnessed and Nadech hasn't contacted her once. Nor has he even made the effort to mend things with her. She didn't want to look desperate but she caved in a couple of times and called him. But she never got through to him. She even left a couple of voice message but he never called her back. His silent and distant demeanor towards her should be an indication that he has moved on from her. Even though, she's hurting inside, she just couldn't find the strength to let him go-- Not just yet. Too much time has been invested into the relationship and she would hate to let it go without some of closure from him. Some might call her stupid or foolish for wanting it but she couldn't help the way she felt. She's in too deep to forget him a matter of days. And the more she tells herself to forget Nadech, the more she finds herself yearning for him and missing him.
Yaya sighed out loud, getting up off the ground, suddenly feeling really pathetic about herself. Still can't grasp the fact she's been fooled by the smooth operator. Naive and gullible. He was no good from the beginning and she knew it. Yet she manage to fall head over heels for him.
How could he be so cruel? Why did he have to choose her? How could she have let him played her like a fool? Why couldn't he just tell me the truth? Does he even love me? Questions ran through her mind and she needed answers and she need it soon. Time's ticking away and she's wasting precious time.
She walks to the bathroom and stares at her own reflection, puffy eyes which were still red from crying.
"I have to do this…" she splashes water on her face.
"It's now or never…" she utters under her breath, forcing a smile on her face. She walks into her room and changes into something new and fresh and freshens up a bit to make herself look brighter. She grabs her keys and purse and head out the door.
"I have to do this…" she sticks the key into the ignition, putting the car in drive.
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From a distance, Nadech hears a knock at the door. He checks the clock on the wall-- 11:30 at night.
Who can be here at this time of the night? he puts down the glass of wine and heads towards the door and opens it. His heart drops to the pits of his stomach. Yaya's at his door.
"Hi… hi Nadech…" she whispers softly, noticing she looks a bit intoxicated.
"What-- what are you doing here…?" he ask, blinking faster, wondering if she were a mirage.
She lowers her head, "I'm-- I'm sorry for coming like this… and at a time like this…" she clears her throat, "Since you're not answering my calls or returning my calls, I thought I'd come here and talk to you in person… and talk to you…" she looks at him with sad puppy eyes. "Can I-- can I come in…?" she ask politely, forcing a smile on her face.
Speechless, Nadech steps aside and lets her in. Shocked and awed as his head spins. "Have-- have a seat…" he tells her. Yaya takes a seat across from him and keeps her head low. "Would you like some wine…?" he ask politely as if she were an acquaintance and not a lover.
"No thanks." she replies. Nadech takes a seat, feeling the awkward tension in the air. They sat in silence. It's been two weeks since he seen her. He didn't have the nerves to talk to her, not since that incident. Something inside told him to stay clear away for a while. For what reason? He had no idea. He's feeling strange about the whole situation. Unsure what it is he wants or who he wants. His heart begins to beat faster as he glares at her from the corner of his eyes.
"So… how have you been…?" Yaya breaks the silence, staring at him with a weak smile.
"Oh uhm…" Nadech clears his throat, "I've-- I've been… okay." he replies, "… you…?"
Yaya smiles weakly, "Okay…" she utters, "Keeping myself busy with work so I won't think about… stuff…" she lets out a gentle chuckle.
Nadech swallows hard, "That's… that's good…" he utters, unsure of what to say.
"Nadech…" Yaya inhales deeply.
"Uhm…?" he arches his eyebrow at her.
"Why… why haven't you called me Nadech…?" she asks boldly.
"Uh…" he blinks faster, caught off guard.
"Are-- are we really through Nadech…?" she asks, feeling her voice trembling a bit as she fights back the tears. Yaya slowly stands up, "Is it really over between us…? Did I mean nothing to you…? Was I just someone you kept for the time being until Davika came back…?" she pauses, feeling the warm tear down her cheek. "Did you even love me Nadech…?" she swallows hard, feeling her heart shattering all over again.
He slowly rise from his seat to the crying Yaya.
"Am-- Am I not good enough for you…?" she inches closer to him. "Why don't you love me Nadech… when I've given you everything-- my heart, soul and my body…" She burst into tears, "Was it not enough…?" she touches his hands, "Am I only a replacement…? Please tell me-- tell me Nadech…" she cries.
Nadech bit his lips, letting go of her hands. He takes a step back, unsure of where to start or how to answer her. His head's spinning, feeling like a bomb ready to explode.
"Yaya… " he slowly utters, "I'm-- I'm not sure what to say…" He lowers his head in shame.
"Say something… anything please..." she cries, wiping the tears from her face, "Tell me that it isn't true… tell me-- tell me I wasn't just one of your one night stands Nadech… please…?" she begs, "Tell me that everything Davika said that night wasn't true… please tell me that you really care about me… and that .. and that you…
love me… and not her…" her voice cracked, feeling the tears run down her cheeks as she touches his arm, staring up at him.
"Yaya… I… I…" he stammers over his words, "I-- I'm…sorry..." he glares into her eyes, clinching his jaw.
She hangs her head low, suddenly feeling herself fall to the ground. Her heart shattered for good. Broken into million of pieces. It's unfixable. Who knew a heartbreak like this could be so painful. She buries her face into her hands, crying her heart out or what's left inside to cry. Nadech's hand touches her shoulder. Chills ran down her spine.
Yaya looks up at him, eyes full of tears. Numb all over. He wipes her tears, trying to be gentle about the situation. But how could you break someone's heart gently? It's impossible. He helps her up.
"I think you should go…" he tells her, holding onto her hand. He notices she's still wearing the ring he gave her. His stomach turns sour.
Her head's spinning out of control and she's feeling lightheaded. Unsure if it's from the wine she drank earlier or from what Nadech's telling her.
"She's coming over, isn't she…?" Yaya blurts out.
Nadech shakes his head and sighs out loud. "I-- I just think I should give you your space, that's all…" he tells her, swallowing the invisible lump down.
She lowers her head and bites her bottom lip. "Did you-- did you sleep with
her when we were together…?" she asks.
"No…" he utters boldly. "No.. I never slept with her when we're together…"
A little weight lifted from her shoulders but it wasn't enough to make things right between them.
"So it really is over between
us…?" Yaya asks once more.
No answer from Nadech. She moves in closer to him, taking him by the hands. "Do you still love
her…?" she ask courageously, staring into his eyes.
He stares at the distraught Yaya, noticing she's a slightly intoxicated by the alcoholic smell from her breath. He still doesn't answer her question. "Yaya… I think you'd better--"
[SONG PLAYING : MADONNA - TAKE A BOW]
An impulsive takes over her. She quickly grabs Nadech by the face and kisses him on the lips. He doesn't fight her off but is taken surprised by her demeanor as he stares down at her. She pulls back, eyes slowly welling with tears.
"I know that you don't love me… and I know you'll never love me like how you love
her… " she softly utters, sniffling her nose, "But for tonight… can you pretend like you do…?" she wipes the tears from her face, "Can you make love to me Nadech…?" she softly pleas, "Just this last time-- please just let me spend tonight with you… and I promise-- tomorrow I'll be gone-- I won't bother you..
ever again…" she closes her eyes, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. "pretend I'm
her if you have to…" she held her head up high, standing in front of him, like a fool, begging for his love. Still, she can't hide the fact that she still wants him, still yearns for him.
Just this last time heart. One last time. she utters to herself.
Nadech bites his lip, staring down at Yaya in complete and utter shock. He cups her face, wiping the tears dry. His lips touches her lips and he kisses her passionately. Her knees grow weak, feeling like jello as he kisses her with more passion. He picks her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He takes her to the bedroom and lays her gently on the bed, still kissing her passionately.
She keeps her eyes close, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks as he unzips her pants. Where's her pride? Her dignity? Her mind's too clouded with wanting Nadech to care about her pride or dignity. All she longed for was to be in his arms once again. Longing for their bodies to intertwine and become one. Even if it meant only for tonight. He lays his naked body on top of hers and she could feel him penetrating her. She lets out soft cry. It felt so right even though deep down inside she knew it was wrong. She clings tightly onto his back, digging her nails on his bare back as he penetrates deeper in her. Tears still rolling down the corner of her eyes.
He nibbles on her neck, slowly making way down to her breast then to her navel. Goose bumps ran up her spine, as she almost forgot how incredible his love making was. Her body's trembling with ecstasy, feeling as though she's floating on cloud nine. It's a magnificent feeling. He begins to thrust faster, giving her all that he has. Then one final thrust and she reaches her climax. She body tingles at the wonderful sensation and ecstasy her body experience.
Yaya breathes heavily as Nadech's body still hovers over hers. She looks up at him, tears still in her eyes. Her heart beats faster upon seeing his face. He glances down at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He closes his eyes and slowly leans in closer to her, kissing her lips gently. Her heart stops beating for a split second as she reminisce of the sweet and delicate Nadech that she fell in love with.
"I love you Nadech…" she whispers softly,
"I love you…" A tear rolls down the corner of her eyes.
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The next morning
SONG PLAYING: PIXIE LOTT - DANCING ON MY OWN
It's almost 7 in the morning and Nadech's sound asleep. Yaya's dressed and ready to leave. She watches him sleep so peacefully with no care or worries. She couldn't help but smile, fighting back the tears. Leaning in closer, she gives him one last gentle kiss on the lips, sneaking in one last taste. A tear slide down her cheek and onto his cheek. She slowly pulls back and stares at Nadech. The tears slowly begins to pour but she fights back hard. Holding back much as possible. He lets out a loud breathing heavily. Though, he doesn't wake up, only toss in bed. She wipes the tears away and slowly backs away from him.
She walks over to his night stand carefully, pulls out the engagement ring from her finger and place it onto of the nightstand. There's no need to hold onto it. She's suddenly feeling as though something's missing.
She glances at Nadech once more. Her heart beating faster by the second. She forces a smile on her face.
"Goodbye Nadech…" she whispers,
"Goodbye forever…" She wipes the tears dry and walks out of his room, careful not to make a sound.
She closes the door behind her and walks down the lonely hall.
No more tears. No more crying… No more Nadech.
