Discussion in 'Thai' started by SuzieJ, Jun 9, 2018.
I missed out! Lol
I got a bit sentimental up in here ... Now I'm back to regular programming, hyping up my fave/s.
I am so late to the game lol
When I first got married, I told my husband that once we have kids I will no longer work. And I haven't work for almost 15 years. My husband travel for work a lot and I told him there's no way I would work with small kids to take care of and back then I also have my parents to take care of as well (medically). I wasn't going to stress myself out when he is not around, having to go to work, come home and take care of the kids, dinner and other responsibilities. I told him if I am not able to stay home once we have kids, then we are not going to have any kids.
I prefer to stay home because I believe kids should have a parent with them if at all possible. I never regret that decision because when my youngest son asked me to go to lunch with him at school, I go and eat with him and realized how blessed I am to have that opportunity.
As far as buying stuff, my husband usually never say yes, but he always say we'll see lol (and that's his yes) but he always get me whatever I want. He made a promise to me that for as long as we are together he would never let me be without and I will always be comfortable.
With my situation, me staying home is the best option.
I can't speak for all woman but I know two woman in my life that was a stay at home mom because their husband wants them to be at home with the children.
Her husbands worked and she stayed at home. He supported her. She would come to visit us for weeks as long as it's with us he don't care b/c we're family. He buys and gives her money when she comes over. only a 2 1/2 hr drive. He's not rich but he works hard to support them. Money was not the issue b/c my sister don't go on shopping spree etc. she always have food on the table, clean and took care of the family etc. His friend would say oh how do u let your wife go there so long. he tells his friends he trust her and he knows us well. as long as she comes or goes with us he never say no.
one time my sister just tells him hey do you want to go to this and that place and he would say no. she goes well, i'm going then. he don't like to travel much b/c he's a country white guy. he'll come visit us and want us over their place. our family is loud when we get together and he just sits there and listen or read his newspaper. i always tease him how do you read in this commotion. he laugh and say i just tune it out. it's been over 20 years now that i'm in the family so i know how it is when we get together. gotta love him. My sister works now b/c her hubby's company went out of business. so he didn't work for almost a year but he was good at managing money. they had some to live off until he found something. He's back at working b/c he didnt like to be home. My sister doesnt like to be at home so she still working for the benefits and extra funds. The other sister was jobless for a long time and he manage to support her and she always had funds too. again if the wife dont just want and go spend it all then it's okay.
Her friend on another hand, is married to a Thai man. She don't have money on her or can go anywhere really. He wont teach her how to drive. I don't even think she got her citizenship because he's afraid she will change. She doesn't work either. I remember visiting them with my sister. I said that's a sad life. I wouldn't want that. Totally different from my brother in law.
It's all in the relationship. Not all guys are the same. Not all are controlling. omg, those types of guys agrrrr though!!!!
I will take some advices from you the day I get my 1st kid lol . How many kids you have ? Sorry if that question sounds a lil too personal. If you are feeling I am crossing the line now don't worry you can forget it
Yes, being a stay at home mom depends on the couple. My husband gives me a lot of freedom. He used to travel for work a lot in the past but not so much now. But I do have my girls' night out. When I went to Vegas with a bunch of girls, I just tell him I am taking a break and going out of town with a few girls. He is fine with that. Or I would go have dinner with a friend and he watched the kids.
When my husband promised me that I would never be without, I just brushed it off and didn't think much until one day. When we got married we bought our first house when I was 21(it was a cute starter home). But there's this neighborhood that I just love. It is a gated community with beautiful homes. One day, the gate happened to be opened and we drove around to see the houses. I simply loved it. As we drove slowly and looked at the houses my husband said, one day I will buy you a house in this neighborhood. I didn't say anything just thought about it. And sure enough, he kept his promised.
Also, my kids thanked me that I am able to stay home with them. Because when my husband is away at work, I am the only one that goes to their football games, award ceremonies and such. So, ultimately the couple will see what fits in their particular situation. I love being a stay at home mom and would not want it any other way.
I have 2 kids...to me I think it's important to set some things straight when you first get married. My husband knows where I stand. If we didn't have the ability for me to be a stay at home mom, then we are not having any kids. I never budge on that.
@byebye yes, i agree it does depend on the two and how their relationship is. i've always worked b/c i'm more independent. i wish i didnt have to but then i always thought gosh, i dunno if i can b/c i'm so use to working for my own money and spending on what i want although i still spend our money if i want or when i can hehe.
yes, having kids and being able to stay home and go to their school event is good. i have to miss work to go so at times i wish i didnt work for that reason. my son understand though. a good thing.
Awwh ! So cute ! Two boys ?
Anyway totally agree. Never swallow more than you can chew !
@byebye hm, kind of strange of you to only quote me? Cuz it doesn’t sound fair to me. Just so you read through every comment, I wasn’t targeting anyone in particular. I was speaking more about lazy people who aren’t handicap or disable and just lazy, it doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or girl. However, my post that you quoted was more also a response to @KitKat516 ‘s post about women bragging about relying on their partner. Again, none of our intentions are to directed at anyone. Hope no one is offended. We often speak from our experiences and do not intend to harm anyone’s else decision. Realistically speaking I know more women running into trouble due to financial shortages and are heavily on welfare cuz they’re always fighting it off with their partner. So when we mentioned women bragging about living off of their hubby, I was sharing my view on why it could hurt those women long term cuz financial shortages could hit them anytime. Again, with no intention to harm anyone of you guys who are married or with kids.
Ok not intending to offend anyone and if it sound that way I apologized and no one has to answer this. I am curious for those who stayed home with their child, at what age is it ok to go back to work? Also like have anyone thought of what would happen if like god forbid tragedy happens to your partner? Is there a plan B? Are there enough saving? How would One then transition back into the workforce after being away from it for so long?
I often wonder because I'm more of a what if type of person vs a go with the flow. Like I have to have a plan for everythings. I think I got that from my mom. Like I've calculated how much money I need in saving to live comfortably for retirement since I was 20. I also calculated how much I need in savings to be at home for 7 years with a child (if I ever want one). After calculating all that, i know that i have to continue to work.
I just replied to the last post lol. It wasn't a target to you. It was just a reply. It was an opinion on the other side of the situation. I thought about quoting kitkat but since you replied to her and yours were the last post I came up, I just happened to quote yours. It's not a big deal cause I was not offended by it or anything. Trust me, I have plenty of people around me telling me I should get a job hahaha. But my respond to them had always been, unless you start paying my bills perhaps we can talk.
I have also seen where women struggled to make it once they are divorced when they rely on the husband. But if you are smart enough you always have a backup plan. I live by the rule, where nothing in life is guarantee no matter how good it may seem.
For me, I probably won't be going to work until my youngest goes to college, if by then I even want to. Some of the women I know, went back to work when their kid(s) starts kindergarten. It is just the preference of the couple or woman.
As far as the unknown, if something happens to my husband we should be OK. One of his job he has been on for 21 years, the other 27 years. I would like to think I am in a more favorable position than some around me. But unless someone marries a guy that is a millionaire, you have to be smart financially or else it doesn't work.
Most do go back to work after their child starts kindergarten and some don't ever go back hehe. very lucky!
well, spousal benefits is a guaranteed pretty much as well as the child's benefits if something were to happen to the partner. Can still make it if don't have debt written all over them you know. 401K, savings, life insurance. I'm with you on having to think of the 'what if" situation that can arise later on or unexpected. it's good to be thoroughly in that aspect. things happen! The last resort is to work if have to? Gotta suck it in and do whatever you can to make it or go find a rich man like some of those lakorn daras hehe. j/k.
@byebye yep some have stuff saved up or been with the company to have something vested for long term in case something happens to them...
Also, in the state of Texas if you are married for 10 years and over you are entitled to have of his pension
Lol I like the lil smiley at the end
@byebye looks like you have it set for life, lucky you!! Guess everyone’s situations are different and there’s no guarantee in life. What us women should do is have a backup plan so when that times comes, it’ll make it easy on life.
I have a friend, she’s a stay at home mom with two kids. Her and her hubby agreed to have her stay at home and take care of the kids because he’s able to support the family. She doesn’t go out or spend on herself much. It’s all about her family. She plans on going back to work when the kids gets to high school.
I have another friend who is currently a stay at home mom. She doesn’t look like she wants to go to work any time soon. Her baby is almost 2 and her husband is barely making much income. We gave a lot of hints to find a job and we’re find a daycare for her, but she giving us excuses not to. She’s too comfortable where she’s at which made her lazy.
And my other friend, her dream was to be a stay at home mom, but she can’t. She’s the only one working where her hubby is always loosing his jobs. poor girl.
My mother got married at 19 years old and had me at 22 years old. Before and during she was pregnant, she used to work as a cashier at a grocery store. Once she gave birth to me (im her oldest child) she quit her job and became a stay at home mom. She gave birth to one more child a 3 years later so in total she had my sister and me. My mom stayed a stay at home mom until i was around 12 and my sister was 9. She started working again because she was bored at staying home. I personally think being a stay at home mom is fine if the reltionship youre in allows it. Being a stay at home mom is a hard jon in itself. However now a days in my generation its hard to be a stay at home mom. The guys in my generation dont like it and think we should have a job of our own too. At least all the guys around me think that. I personally think that if youre gonna be a stay at home mom you MUST have a backup plan. What if god forbid you get a divorce one day and youre left with nothing to provide yourself or your children. So to me ill never completely depend on a man.
I hope no one was offended by my previous posts, being a homemaker is no easy job either I've seen my mother be the true master of all trades keeping our household running while my father worked. There was a period of time too when he was unemployed where she stepped in and worked while he looked for job. It depends on each individual's family and their circumstances, for my family one of my parents had to stay at home for various reasons.
Well that's good that you guys have a plan. I've seen and counseled too many women that don't and it just heartbreaking as well as frustrating. Like these women with college degree got sucked into the trophy wife lifestyle.
I guess for me, I've always seen my mom working. She worked and still working at 72 not because she has to but because she loves to. I crawled around her office and grew up sorting files or sitting in meetings. So now, working is like a comfort. I'm the type who gets nervous I while on vacation because i wonder what's not getting done. I'm not working full time right now but I'm still doing consulting to keep my mind running.
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