Why do men have the right?

[kalaya]

It's totally not fair! In hmong culture, why does men have more rights then women. Men can married a lot of wives and divorce whoever they felt like... But women, if they divorce a man, they will consider not a widow but something i cannot spell..."poj nrog" that's not right! here, i have to reveal a sad story about Dara's life...please read the whole thing k guys...It explains more why she choose her path...

:wavecry:Dara's Page:wavecry:

 

[vilasaeng]

That's how sociaty are, and it's not only in Hmong culture... Almost every culture have to go throw this unfair ordeal... And if the women try to strength themself their consider as something lowly....

 

[JaM]

^yep, it's not just within the Hmong community. It's just something you have to deal with right now, but as time goes by things will change. We are still only the first or second generation Hmongs here.



Here's a theory that I think is pretty true:

A. First Generation Immigrants - they don't speak English and depend on community bonding, the only one who speaks it is usually the father who has to go outside the community to work in order to get money.

B. Second Generations (where most of us fits in) - speaks both English and native language (Hmong in this case), English is used at school while Hmong is used at home.

C. Third Generations - speaks English the majority of the time

LOL, I think this is funny because my cousin's bf is like the 3rd or 4th generation Chinese/Japanese mix and he doesn't speak a word of either languages but English.

 

[vilasaeng]

JaM Posted Today, 12:00 AM
^yep, it's not just within the Hmong community. It's just something you have to deal with right now, but as time goes by things will change. We are still only the first or second generation Hmongs here.



Here's a theory that I think is pretty true:

A. First Generation Immigrants - they don't speak English and depend on community bonding, the only one who speaks it is usually the father who has to go outside the community to work in order to get money.

B. Second Generations (where most of us fits in) - speaks both English and native language (Hmong in this case), English is used at school while Hmong is used at home.

C. Third Generations - speaks English the majority of the time

LOL, I think this is funny because my cousin's bf is like the 3rd or 4th generation Chinese/Japanese mix and he doesn't speak a word of either languages but English.

That is sad... My family make our everyone in our family speak the languages at home.. or we get hit by a stick or they won't respond to any of our questions and so fourth..

 

[rukmos]

That's how sociaty are, and it's not only in Hmong culture... Almost every culture have to go throw this unfair ordeal... And if the women try to strength themself their consider as something lowly....

[post="32699"][/post]​

I think that women shouldn't care about what society says at all and do what they think is right....I come from a family that believes strongly in the old Hmong tradition and they still do the whole Hmong New Year tradition thing etc... and I respect that, but when it comes the arrange marriages or listening only to the husbband thing...I will only do it when I feel that it's right. My parents and me, we argue about this all the time because I'm not the typical Hmong daughter who listens 100% and is always working...I'm grateful to my parents for raising me, but I'm not so grateful that I'm willing to throw my life away on their whims.

 

[anti-hmong]

A. First Generation Immigrants - they don't speak English and depend on community bonding, the only one who speaks it is usually the father who has to go outside the community to work in order to get money.

B. Second Generations (where most of us fits in) - speaks both English and native language (Hmong in this case), English is used at school while Hmong is used at home.

C. Third Generations - speaks English the majority of the time

[post="32821"][/post]​

that list is pretty accurate...the first generation is trying to preserve the hmong language/culture/tradition/etc. etc...but it's dying out fast...and that's a shame...yeah the hmong should retain their language/culture/tradition and all that...but the third generation should also incorporate the "new" ways of life into it and not let it die out

 

[aychenneres]

It's totally not fair! In hmong culture, why does men have more rights then women. Men can married a lot of wives and divorce whoever they felt like... But women, if they divorce a man, they will consider not a widow but something i cannot spell..."poj nrog" that's not right! here, i have to reveal a sad story about Dara's life...please read the whole thing k guys...It explains more why she choose her path...

:wavecry:Dara's Page:wavecry:

[post="32693"][/post]​

every culture is like this, even american culture. the women's rights movement gave women more rights in america, but that doesn't mean it's anywhere near equal between the two sexes. it's just hidden better. besides, the hmong culture has always been this way. you can't expect it to change if no one has the courage to change it.

in dara's case, it was different because she chose to stay with her husband because she loved him, not because she was afraid society would look down on her.

 

[FrozenPearl]

That's why you ladies has to be a good wife to your lover....

 

[shana pakim]

i don't really know but i think that it beacause they think that they're stronger than us women or something like that...

 

[ddawbb]

Personally- I think it's just Hmong nature.. For me, it's hard to see Hmong men in our generation equal to us women now. Because now we don't depend on them as much. We can go out and have our own jobs and our parents always tell us "go to school..." you know?? lol...

 

[kying89]

yea i agreed with some of you guys....
it's true, we shouldn't really listen to the public or hmong society because they can actually turn you bad and make you eventually commit suicide...
i mean for my mom she understands us and the soceity now that women are EQUAL as much as men....
so since my sister is married, she always been telling her to control her life the right way and not to let her husband abuse her or do her wrong even if she's married to that family....but my brother-in-law, he's really nice so i'm thankful...
but yea i think that now, women are equal as men and we women have every rights like men do....so women shouldn't be afraid of what the neighbors or the soceity been talking about.....it's SO NOT their business..it's your life and if you want it to be successful and have a bright future, you better step in!!!~~
go us...!!!~

 

[1-lUv3-y0u]

I agree it's not fair to the women I mean it is more fair then it was in the old days but still women like have no rights and stuff and people like always think that men are more smart more than girls and stuff but thats not true I think both women and men are equal but some people dont see it that way

 

[x_Kpop]

Its stupid how men get to eat first at the parties and women have to eat at the end, seeems like we get the leftovers then we have to clean everything up after they drink and eat and talk...UGH!. Thats pathetic, dont that happen in a lot of azn cultures? Maybe its just me cuz i have a pathetic father. Plus the men get to do what they want, marry agian, divorce, cheat, and lie. You know, my dad a pathetic person, if he does something stupid, we all get named bad like him. Then OGS go around and say its all my mothers fault for not talking to him and stopping him or whatever. Men always get in of trouble and then we have to get them out. Thats even more pathetic. But I think us new generation can change what has been happening in the before generation. Because like everyone said, both genders are begining to become equal and like i always say, this aint thailand or laos or whereever, this is America and this is our generation, we can change whats bad and make them into good, but hopefully we dont repeat the bad. I know some think that we should keep our tradition alive, but can't we change somethings? Like rukmos I dont really listen to my parents 100 % neither nor always cleaning and working around the house. People are always saying, dont waste ur childhood or teenage years, or whatever they say, but its hard, because usually the girl's rights are limited and its pretty hard. Well anyway, this is just my opinion. Maybe it doesnt make sense, but thanks for reading.

 

[1-lUv3-y0u]

^ I agree I also hate the fact that the women eats after and do all the cleaning(although the men do chop the pigs and stuff) but still it's not fair how after the men are done they just go sit and talk and the women have to work all day then at the end still have to clean up the mess it is so dumb (>_<)