What to say...

My husband's girl cousin, who is 20 came and asked SL and me a question - what if your best friend, who you have helped so much, like seriously, so much as in getting him a degree in college, out of the blues and randomly said "how do you feel if I started to date a girl." She said she was hurt when he asked her that and after he heard her reply he said, "he wanted to see if she was gonna reply like what he was thinking she would reply" she has been angry for 2 days and doesnt want to talk to him anymore.
My response to her was to ask him for the truth if he is really considering a girl. My husband on the other hand, straight forward with his words said that he was a *beep* and he yelled at her because all the homework we been helping her with was for him. As a sister in law I would tell her the truth, but I dont know how because every couple/friendship is very different. I mean, he is a great guy and he seems to care for her alot but I really dont know how they are outside of the house. She described her friendship to me several times and in my opinion, I just think this guy has alot of love to give, to everyone and anybody who is nice and caring towards him.
Eeeek! I dont want to start anything and not even married for a year yet, and I am approached with this! I dont know how to tell or say anything to her, because my hubby and I went up and down with our relationship - from friends, to lovers, to friends, and back... Any pointers... Just something I can work into her brain, I dont want to bash on the guy either because he drank at the table on our wedding... lol... he is just a great guy... I feel sorry for her but I dont even know his side of the story and it would be odd to talk to him without her.

p. Zoua

sarNie Oldmaid
well, maybe should tell her to talk to him. sounds difficult but it'd be best to open up and just talk to him and if possible, tell him how she feels. At this point being hurt and angry won't solve anything. Either way, telling him or not, she's going to be hurt, so might as well let him know, even though it might be riskier too.

On the other hand, maybe he may have asked her just to see how she felt about him or something. some guys are like that. Or u as a sister in law can ask him urself or ask ur husband to talk to him since they're both guys and see who he's into.

If worst comes to worst, just tell ur cousin to bare in mind to "never go after what isn't yours." Meaning if she likes him but he has no feeling for her whatsoever then there's no point to chase after him. He should be the one chasing you instead if he's really into her. You wouldn't be happy dating a person who you know have no feeling for u right? U can't force them to like you.

if he wants to date someone else, then let him but still be friends, but things won't be the same anymore. Maybe if he needs help maybe his gf can help him instead. hahaaXD

I was like that with a guy friend in High school too. I always helped him study and with homework and stuff. yea people would mistake us for couples at times cause we're always together. I don't know if he ever had feelings for me or not, but one time he did say "i love you", but he's a joker so of course it wasn't serious. At one point I did liked him and i thought so much about how i wanted him to be mines, but he liked my friend. He never knew, but I know that he isn't mines and will never be so I decided to just let it go. Because I'd rather just be friends with him. And nothing changed cause they're dating and I'm still friends with them and no longer have that kind of feeling. hee hee. I mean yea i did help him study and homework and help him out lots of time, but in the end I'd rather just be good friends with him then lose him as a friend in awkwardness you know? lol.