Poems & Quotes

[CTR]

You don't mess with love.
You don't mess with the truth
And I know I shouldn't say it
You're saying that I hurt you but I still don't get it
You didn't love me, no, not really
 
My heart is still beating but you left it black and blue
It's still beating but definitely it's in the ICU
With wounds, scars, and a couple of bruises too
And I don't know where all of the drama is coming from between me and you
 
You wrote and said what we had wasn't real
Then what do you expect me to do? I gonna exam how I feel
I still love you but I have to cut some of my zeal
Licks my wound and let them heal
 
And no, I'm not going to Wattpad to mask my identity or conceal
I'm going over there cause I am ready to unmask and reveal
That's a big thing for me because I value my privacy a great deal
Others might not think it is but to me it's a frightening ordeal
 
So, I don't know where all of the drama are coming from between you and I
And I'm tired of the tears running down my eyes
That never seems to stop or dry
I told you I didn't mind none of your flaws
But please don't hurt me with your claws
 
 
 
"This is just an exert that I wanted to debut on Wattpad."
 
" The cold blustery wind came creeping from the Northeast, and the dark ominous clouds loomed over the row of skyscrapers downtown.  Some would say when it rains, it will pours without no sunshine.  And, this one was no difference as Ryan could feel it deep inside of his soul.  A small droplet started to trickle down and then a few more came until his heart was flooded like Arizona when the Monsoon arrives.  This wasn’t just an ordinary flood, it was a flood that was last seen by Noah and his family.  This was the one where it rained forty days and forty nights. 
 
“How could you do this to me?” Shouted Ryan, as he felt down on his knees. 
 
“You were my heart, my soul, my love, and my flame.”  The aching in his heart felt like a thousand needles had punctured it.  Ryan was slumping just trying to sit straight as he crosses his arms on his knees...."

 

[CTR]

Do you recall, not long ago
We would talk like it was our first date night
Innocent, remember?
All we did was care for each other

It was a love that was starting to blossom
You teased me and I teased you just for fun
I would say I was talking to this girl and that girl just for pun
But in my heart, I knew all along you were the one.

Yes, I over teased you and it was getting old
I didn't stay humble but instead became a bit cold
It wasn't my intention to become an asshole
It was a guy who lacked experience who became cocky and bold
Who hurt the love of his life and lost control

But all of the stuff I've said to you they were true
Like when I said you're the one I wanna be with when I'm old
And no matter what happens, I wanna walk down the same roads
And that I'll always be by your side
Standing strong as the waves roll over

I just don't know why you thought my love for you wasn't genuine
And that I wouldn't treat you right like a real gentlemen
Or that I was playing with your heart without no clear intention
Or why I'm always joking around you with comprehension

You always state that I always post things without thinking about others
But what about me?  Did you think it wouldn't affect me? I have feeling like you.
These eyes have seen, experience a multitude of tragic things in life
That's why I try to keep a smile and joke around when I writing to you
And that my heart was broken before and that I have one rose to give
And I hoping to give it to that special someone - YOU.
That's why I always tried to protect your ID and even P'Sarn doesn't know who you are. 

 

[tgamber]

We can always run but the world itself is round.
No matter what we can't outrun the truth.
No matter what we can't outlive the time.
The cruel reality is what keeps us awake.
The cruel truth is what keeps us sober.
It was always so easy to get drunk dreaming.
But still dreams lead to imaginations.
So I imagine being there.
Being with you, live with all my strength, love with all my heart.

 

[CTR]

story,story,story
Life isn't about a story
It's about a journey
A journey one takes
It's not a predetermined path
But a path one get to forge in life
Everyone is given freewill
Without freewill, we cannot be at fault for our mistakes
Because it was predetermined

Love is love
People want love to be perfect like a story
But love in the real world involve struggles
Hardship,hardbreak,hurt,regrets,pain, suffering, etc. 
Love only last like a minute when
Two people fail to communicate properly
The two of them communicate
Through the most stupidiest thing ever - social media
Instead of going direct like the old days

Love is a work in progress
Just ask any couple that have been with each other 40, 50years,etc
Love is not about receiving but giving
It requires two people to give not just one person to apologize all the time
It requires those two people to meet in the middle

That's why the greatest love story
is about a person who gave his life up for others
so that they don't perish but he ask nothing in return

Love requires proper communication
Love requires loyalty
Love requires trust
Love requires forgiveness
Love requires patience
Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
It's a bond between two people even in their deepest struggle
Love is not a fairy tale story, not something cheap but something genuine and real.

 

[CTR]

Sometimes, it's better to lose the argument
than lose the person.  God always kept me humble
so I rather lose in this retrospect.

LIfe is not like a sprint
Life is a marathon
Life doesn't last one or two rounds
It last the full 15 rounds
So is love.

Personally, I have never been a quitter
When life got tough, I rolled up my sleeves and got down to work
I wasn't the smartest or most giftest in my class
But I gritted and grinded my way to the top of my class
I scratched and clawed fighting those corporte jerks as well

Life is worth fighting for what you believe in.
Just like love is worth fighting for the person you love
No one is perfect, we are people with flaws.  
Everyone of us is a work in progress
If you see a perfect person, you're likely watching a robot

You know what, I'm going to trust GOD in this one and raise your offer.
I'm going to put all my cards on deck.
I'm not going to just do the talk but I'll do the walk as well.
And I no longer want to communicate this way because
it creates confusion and miscommunication between us.
So now the ball is in your court.  My card is on deck.
What about yours?  

My professional email that's going to be on Wattpad: realctr2015@gmail.com

 

[CTR]

When we read a book, we tend to read the synopsis of a story and I have been toying with how I am going to word my current book project that I’m working on.  The title is called “Digital Love” and it’s a romantic comedy in a sense as it dives into the essence of two souls looking for more meaning in life.  Anyhow, I have asked my brother-in-law brother to sketch a book cover for me.  I didn’t want to do a silly Photoshop cover so I gave him a picture of a particular angel and I let him work his magic.  I instructed him to do a black and white 50’s Frank Sinatra inspired cover.  
I think this story is different from P’Anne Thongprasom “Ab Ruk Online” because the settings are different, the characters background are different, countless of twists, etc.  So, here is my synopsis.  Enjoy. 
 
What is love?  Even the very essence of the question have perplexed countless of individual throughout history.  People have fought over it and people have died in sorrow because of love.  The game of love has become even more complicated since the arrival of the digital age.  The advent of the computer and the modern cellphone have accelerated this complicated matter even more for Ryan Petersen. 
 
After losing what he thought was the love of his life, Ryan and his best friend James set off on a journey to find out how to reconnect with women on a more intimate level.  Their journey takes take to various love gurus where they are taught bit and pieces of what love is all about.  It is during this journey that Ryan somehow manages to connect with a sweet beautiful Hollywood star. 
 
At first, their love was just platonic and very cordial.  But as the weeks went by, the seed under the moisture soil beneath their feet started to sprout and love started to blossom in a beautiful way.  Love is a beautiful thing but it also cause heartaches and pains without proper understanding.  Will Ryan and Mary’s love last through the stormy weather?  Can they overcome their differences?  Or will the fabric of their bond becomes stronger after facing countless tribulations together?       
 
I thought it was a fair synopsis without giving the whole plot away.  I hope to show the cover by Sunday on here that is my goal.  I don't know why but my story is beginning to sound like a lakorn.  I mean, if I add more twists and turns here and there, I got a genuine romantic drama.  But in real life, I don't need the twists and turns, I just want to skip to the happy ending cause it's better for my heart that way.   :heart:    All I want is to write a simple but yet happy ending with my mi amor.  Please lord, let this be the last stormy weather and nothing but sunshine after this.  Whatever is to come, lord, let it just be sunshine after this epic flood.         

 

[CTR]

You can called it priviledge
One could even say it was luck
But I considered myself truly honored and blessed  ^_^ :crush: :yes:
To receive an angel from heaven above, to me she's the best. shh....  :cloud9:
And it has kept me humble in the process
It's something special (magical) that words cannot truly express
It's something one must experience to truly feel the happiness

It's something that cannot be bought or manufactured
It's something that must be built from the ground up
It's something that requires a great deal of work
But the reward for that hard work is unconditional L.O.V.E
So world, the mask is off and I'm here to say
Mi amor and I, we are here to stay :heart:
 
 
Check out my wattpad page.  It's nothing special yet as I am working on the details right now.   Though, I do have a picture from South Beach.  <3.  As for website, I'm not a big fan of social media (wink) but I think I'll give instagram a try since I'm an artistic person and it will definitely help me connect with my readers.  Oh almost forgot, here is my page.  https://www.wattpad.com/user/CTR2002
 
And oh, I just feeling the hip-hop vibe at the moment.  New York state of mind.  But there many side of me.  I don't have a style, I like a chameleon cuz I can blend into any style.    But mi amor can wear whatever she wants and I'll still love it.  An angel will still be an angel no matter what she wears. B)

 

[Bieluvr]

It's been long that I hadn't posted on here, but I have read silently every post. I Just have to say that CTR. You are a great writer! I love everything that you had posted on here. Tgamber also too. So here is another poems of mine.
 

Love Recipe
As I stand here looking ahead
I realized how much of a fool I was
Twisting and turning as I lay in bed
How I wished the time will pause​

 ​

If only miracles can be real
I'd make this world turn back
I will agree to tell you how I feel
I wouldn't put on such a stupid act​

 ​

But now that you are far away
I finally can clearly see
Without you next to me
This love is not complete​

 

[CTR]

Stop it Bieluvr.  J/K.  I have a long way to go but I am learning everyday and I have been studying like crazy in how I can develop my characters better, how I can draw their emotions out,  how I can add more values to each dialogue, etc.  I have made so much progress since writing White Lotus.  In writing White Lotus, I think I was telling a story instead writing a novel.  This current one, I feel like I am truly writing a novel.  My intro will set the tone for the whole novel.  Well, see in a few days.  I keep rewriting the first chapter because my standards are very high for myself.  For me, I don't want to put something out if I feel like it's not up to my standard.  Plus, Wattpad is where all the writers go to showcase their skills.  Famous authors are on there as well.  But I'll crash the party somehow this week.      
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm somewhat frustrated with my book cover.  It's not bad but it wasn't my first choice either.  I have to make it plain because I don't think it was fitting (does not imply not beautiful) to put mi amor on my cover.  It's not that I don't want to put her on my cover, it's just not the
right timing at this point in time (secret). :secret:       I tried everything with photoshop but I couldn't mask the photo to my liking so I decided to go with a generic one.  >.<

Well, I'll keep the original cover to myself.   When I look at it, I just can't stop smiling.  :heart: :heart: :heart:
Haha.  Instead of telling what photo it is, I'll describe it.      


The crisp green ocean wave can be seen rolling in
While the warm sunshine radiates her soft skin
She's gently touch her brown hair while almost touching her chin
Her pink lipstick, light blue dress with flower accent
And white flower earring to put it a good spin

Red manicure nails and glisten brown eyes
And beautiful ivory sand in the background
Is where my mi amor pose along side.   :wub:
 

 

[tgamber]

Tuning
Initially, I have my doubts why her?
Finally, I got my determination it just has to be her.
The one making me frustrated endless.
The one making me falling so effortless.
People says it's just infatuation.
But I say it's eternal one.
We're still speaking the same language.
How comes we can't understand a simple word of each?
The heart is at the same pace but the thought is not at the same wavelength.
It may be hard but for the love of my life, it definitely is worth.
Be prepared Honey, I'm now tuning my thoughts for you.

 

[CTR]

Finally, my writer's block is over.  Just had to take a couple of days off to refresh to come with a better concept for Chapter 2.  I tried to be descriptive as possible so my readers can compare and contrast between the two individual.  Chapter one was about Ryan's struggle but that is going to be on my Wattpad tomorrow. Woot! J.K Rowling let me in.
 
Chapter 2 intro

The beautiful palm trees that lined Rodeo Drive was a magnet for tourist a like.  Exotic cars can be seen parked next to vintage and boutique shops as their owner venture inside to pick out their prize possessions.  To the common person, these shops were out of reach, but for Mary and Catherine, this was their playground.  It didn't matter if it was Gucci, Prada, or Chanel. If they wanted it, it was no doubt they would be getting it.

The two of them were inseparable, it was as if they were made from the same fiber even though they were a year a part.  Catherine, the older sister was a sultry knockout who could draw the attention of men miles away.  Her smile was razor sharp and it could slice even the bravest of men that dear come her way.  It was an aurora of confidence that was simply irresistible to the common man.

Mary was gorgeous in her own right.  Her smile is very inviting and warm to the touch.  She is a sweetheart that have that small town charm to her.  Mary's trademark winks, goofy exterior, and playful nature gives her a colorful personality that is very contagious.  With that being said, Mary was a straight shooter as she wore her emotions on her sleeves.  It is something about her that is genuine and real to the core.

 

[CTR]

Relieve.  It's up at Wattpad. 
 
Anywho, it feels so good to be doing what I'm passionate about.  At the moment, I am in overdrive mode reaching out to my deep pool of connections and networking with various writer's clubs locality at the moment.  P'Sarn said anytime I want to sign with her friend who is an independent publisher I can at any time.  It's not that I don't want to sign with them, it is more of me keeping my option open before signing with any one.  
I want someone to represent me as an author with genuine authenticity and look out for my well being as an upcoming author.  It's not about the money.  Ok, let me rephrase that. Well, you love doing something, people will see that and they will see that you are
genuine and true to your craft.  Until, I'm going to keep my options open until Midsummer and continue improving on my craft at hand.  "Blessed"    
 
Snippit from a future chapter that I have yet to write.  It depends if the story takes a sad turn or end up with a happy outlook.  
Even the narrator himself here doesn't know the outcome; hopefully, the happy outlook comes to fruition. 



The soft soothing candle light illuminated the white table top while the warm tropical breeze came in from the sea.  The white sandy beach was all to themselves and a shooting star could be seen coming from the East.  Ryan walked over to Mary and looked deep into her warm brown eyes.  

"You're beautiful just the way you are.  Inside and out." He then gentle runs his hand over her soft brown hair while holding her hands with the other.

"Your colorful personality is what makes you so authentic," he smiles.  "You're a Cherry Blossom that is full of fragrance.  That alone outshine any roses."

The two held hands as they walk down the beach.  The sparklingly moonlight radiates its blessing upon them.  
 

 

[CTR]

Just enjoy this one.  Very heartfelt.  Very straight forward and ....  h34r:  :heart:  
 
You asked me how I'm feeling
You want to know whats going through my mind
I did not open up to you
The way I know I can its about time

Let me tell you baby
Your constantly running through my head
My father told me the day would come
When I would meet someone like you and that would be it
But I know there is much more
The way I feel for you is so real
The slightest touch of your hand
There's only four words
That will make you understand

You are the one
I...I will always love you
There's no one above you
Cuz you are the one
I...I will never neglect your feelings
My love is so deep for you
Cuz you are the one
 
 
You came into my world
Everything so perfect in my life
I did not think you would understand
But you knew why I kept it all inside

Now I know baby your the one
God made for me it took some time to realize this
But now I know you're the one, the only one for me
You taught me how to love
You showed me the meaning of affection
I can't believe its true the wait is over
I have finally found you

 

[tgamber]

A home is not a home when I'm alone and no one besides.
A meal is not a meal when I fell so empty inside.
I don't know noble idiocy. All I did was to hold onto my love.
But just because I couldn't say my love out.
But just because I lied.
Can love become bubbles and disappear?
I lied because I was afraid to lose.
I loved but I'm afraid you'll leave after I admitted.
This game of love between the two of us,who won and who lost?
Is it even black and white?
You should have known I'm not the one who says all my true heart out.

 

[CTR]

So I went over to an IG of my little sister in Christ in Boston as she owns a clothing line of sort.  Anywho, the clothing
is very lovely especially for female clothing.  It's very nice and elegant in a way.  Not overly sexual but yet very sensual
in a way.

So I got to the last couple of pictures and they were telling story about each of the girls in a story kind of way.  
I was giddy because that is the first time I have seen something done like that.  

If they need more ideas for shirts, it should be the following:
- Heartbreaker
- Not Innocent
- Fairy dust

Note: Moto jeans are the new trend just like sweat pants are in this season.  I just got mine (Rocco Slim) but mi amor doesn't have them yet.  hehe.  They're motocycle inspired.  Check into it little sister.  I know a certain angel will whisper this in your ear somehow.  B)  Writing poetry just to take a break from writing is a good thing. 
 
 
I know you can hear what I'm saying
Your love my love there's no debating
There's a girl who's so amazing
But I can't say what her name is
But one thing is for sure, I can't get her out of my mind   :tease: :heart: 
She's a rare diamond, so beautiful, so one of a kind  (being careful with the playful emoji )  :wub: :heart: 

Let the melody flow, let the seed of love continue to grow
When it's all said & done, they'll know how legendary it's for sure
I'm a bad boy, she's an angel, = ultimate combo
Her love, my love pure as white snow
Her love, my love on another level
One thing for sure, it something special
 

 

[CTR]

This was a scene that I might expand further as I get along in my story but I liked how it went.  Though, I think I will make the romantic part longer when I get there. 
 
It was a midsummer night as the Catherine and Mary were the host for their father's gala. Bulters could be seen going around serving drinks and food to those who were lucky enough to get an invitation to the annual gathering.  There were businessmen, politicans, lawyers, and those who were influential in the area.  This wasn't just an ordinary gathering, everyone in the room was wearing some sort of mask.  

Mary slowly came down the steps with her sister and father.  She was sparkling in a pristine white dress that caught the eyes of every eligible bachelor in the room. But, there was on problem, her father was very protected of her and so was Catherine.  
Ryan was watching everything unfold in the baloney of the hallway.  He had managed to get his hand on an invitation at the last minutes.  He went with the classic look but decided to add a twist to it - cape.  Ryan knew something big was going to occur but he did not know what or who was going to crash on the gala.  

Every guys in the room was frightened by the prospect of approaching Mary but Ryan was cool as a sly cat.  He was experienced after traveling all over the US studying with the best gurus.  Some would say Ryan is a bit cocky but he just wanted to have fun after experiencing a tremendous amount of hardship in his life.

"Would you like to dance?" said Ryan, as he walked over to Mary.

"Sorry, do I know you?" she replied.  "I don't usually talk to strangers."

"Good, cuz we're all wearing maskes here."  

"So tell me stranger, what is your name?" asked Mary.

Ryan playfully smile.  "People have called me Romeo and Cassanova for short." "But for you my fair maiden.  Robin.  Robin Hood."

Mary turns her back on him while folding her arms in.  "So, you just want to steal my heart just like those other guys."

Ryan thought for a second and he realized that Mary hasn't figured out that he is the person in the diguise.  Then it hit him.  Ryan was going to use his favorite catch phrase that he had been using on her online.  "There are many roses here today but the one standing in front of me isn't one."

Mary's eyes widen as she instantly knew who he was now.  Right before she could uttered the word White Lotus, he gentle put one of his finger on her lips. "Shhhhh..."

"Steal no.  But to occur for life, I would say yes," as Ryan pulls out a White Lotus from his pocket.  "Oh I almost forgot, I'm here to save you from something bad that's about to go down."

He held her hands as he led her away to the backdoor where James was waiting.  "What about my father and sister," she asked.

"They're safe."  He had somehow manages to inform her father's security team of some immediate disruption that was likely to occur.

 

[CTR]

Don't kiss a bad boy if you want a prince little sister. --->lol    

When we're single, we (bad boy) can be as bad as we want, there's no rules against it.
But we prefer to be in a relationship and when we are in one,
We treat our girl right and we become good boy.      :wub: 
But yeah, when we are single, we are BAD to the bone.  :rockon:
Likewise, I did promise my mi amor that I would be putting my all card on deck.  :locked: 
Or else, I think she's probably going to do this to me ---> :gungirl:  :ninja: 
]

 

[CTR]

I definitely agree lil sister.  I think I'll get my
cowboy boots, my cowboy hats, gears and enter the Championship Bull Riding contest tomorrow.
__________________________________________________________________________________
I've read your book (metaphorically) mi amor and this is a snippet of mine.
 
I might be a bad boy and take a while to arrive at my decision.
But when I do, my decisions are final.  I let my yes be yes and no be no.
That's what the good book said. That's why they say actions speak
louder than words.  That's what people with integrity do.  
Just the realist guy krup.     Not someone who's fake or insincere. ^_^
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

[CTR]

This is how the story unfolded for me.  This is a fictional story but it's filled with plethora of non-fictional elements.  Or is it mostly non-fictional in this page?   :heart:        :blush:  :wub: 
 
As Ryan leaves to go to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich, a picture of a beautiful actress flashes through the preview of the debuting episode.  Ryan instantly rubs his eyes to see who she was but she was a brand new actress did he had never seen before.  In the kitchen, Ryan threw what he could find on his sandwich before rushing out to join his mother.
 
“Anything interesting happened ma?”
 
“Nope.  Just family heart break and separation that’s all.”
 
Ryan took a bite out of his sandwich.  “Ma, Fox has definitely stepped up their game with this new show.”
As the show went on, Ryan became very captivated with Catherine who was one of the leads in the show.  There was something about her that was oozing with sex appeal that he couldn’t quite get his finger on.  Catherine was petite, spunky, outgoing, charming, witty, and downright pretty on the show.  Towards the end of the one hour show, another actress came on screen and Ryan was perplexed.  Was Catherine playing as a double in this TV show he thought to himself?
 
Belinda gently whacks him on the head.  “They’re sisters.  Born one year apart according to their profile online.”
 
“Dang mom, you’re fast.”
 
“See the one with the rounded face,” Belinda exclaimed.  “I think she’s very beautiful.”
 
Ryan went over and saw that it was Mary who his mother was talking about.  Mary had that warm simple glow to her that was hard to find.  Her eyes were sweeter than the sweetest licorice and her smile can warm a person’s heart in the coldest of night.  One thing perplexed Ryan, Mary’s online personality versus her personality on the TV show were completely opposite.  Mary was very vibrant and colorful in real life while Catherine was more reserve.  He was going to have to do some research to find out who these girls were.  
 
“If I can choose, I’ll choose this one,” smile Belinda, as she pointed at Mary.
 
Ryan spits out the cup of cocoa he was drinking.  “Not gonna happen mom.  Both of them are unattainable.”
 
But Belinda’s eyes were still blissfully glowing.  “You never know.  The good lord has a way out evening things out.”
 
Ryan went over to give his mom a hug before heading upstairs with James.  “Sure they do mom.  Sure they do.”  There were many things in life that Ryan believe he could overcome but this was not one of them.  Besides, true love was dead to Ryan as he was concerned.  Ryan was on a new mission and that mission entails mastering the art of love.   

 

[CTR]

Edit for right now.