Nobody's Business (Completed)

Discussion in 'Complete Fiction' started by PhoneO_5, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Best Chanidapa Pongsilpipat & Tengneung Kritsanagun Maneepagapun
    Written by: PhoneO_5​

    This will be my first fan fiction. I made this horrible banner all by myself and I hope to get someone to make me a better one once I finish the storyline. This project seems like it'll be fun to do so I hope that everyone enjoys this. Oh, by the way, I think it is going to be a romantic comedy. At least I hope it will be. I also hope that my horrible writing skills will not bore readers. I haven't read any fan fictions already posted, but I would like to skim around and get an idea of how it all works before I start posting the actual story. The starring roles may not be acting their age in this fan fic nor will they be dressed like they usually are. For example, Tengneung is part of a boyband in real life, but he won't be dressing like that in this fan fic. He probably won't be dressing like he did in Meu-Nang either. I didn't realize that he even acted in Meu-Nang when I was searching for my P'ek for this fan fiction two days ago. I would like my readers to use their imagination with the story and visualize the characters out of their element.

    Coming Soon!!

    Update on 3/12/10:
    Tubbytinker made me a banner for this fan fic. Let's all enjoy it together.

    Update on 3/13/10:
    I figured out how to link my chapters to here. So from now on I will link my fanfic post to this section under "update on 3/13/10" so that it will be easier for readers to jump through each chapter.

    Update on 3/18/10:
    I originally wanted to post everyday. But, I am watching kdramas again and have become very addicted [​IMG]. Also, I babysit and it makes it hard to go on the computer since the 2 year old loves it when I am on the computer and places her dirty hands on my keyboard and pushes random buttons. So, I will update randomly from now on [​IMG]

    Update on 4/02/10:
    I can't believe that I'm well over half way done with my first fan fiction. Thanks to all supporters who have been reading it. This is a pretty fun thing to do [​IMG]

    Update on 4/16/10:
    So I am almost done with this story. I'm sometimes an abstract thinker, so I write excessively and sometimes abstract. I apologize for it. I always think people are going to understand my thinking; hehehe. I put details into my story that I understand, but others might not get it. Sorry [​IMG]. For example, the title to each of my chapters makes sense to me, but when i just read the title I don't get it unless i reread my chapter. haha. Now this update is getting confusing [​IMG]. Oh well. Enjoy reading the rest of the story.

    Update on 4/22/10:
    I will tell you now, I only wrote two more chapters to the story. This fan fiction will end at chapter 23. I decided to end at 23 because that's how old I am right now. haha. I wrote the 23rd chapter early on and just crammed in everything else in the middle to fit into 23 chapters. I need to read my 22nd chapter again and reedit if I need to. I hope you all have enjoyed this story. My romantic comedy plan turned into more of a dramatic story, which is fine with me. I decided that I will continue writing fan fictions even if my stories aren't as interesting because it's fun and makes life less boring. I will put up a teaser of my next fan fiction probably sometime this weekend. My cousin is working on banners for me (she finished two, but there was a mistake on the one that I liked, so she is reediting it for me). I just realized I will probably be up visiting her this weekend, so I can look at it while she works on it. We live 4 hrs apart. I started writing my next fan fiction, but I decided not to write the ending to it like I did this one because it's supposed to not be so dramatic like this one. It's supposed to be a 'go with the flow' type feeling. Can't wait to show the teaser [​IMG]

    Update on 4/27/10:
    Finally posted the ending [​IMG] Hope you all enjoyed it. I will be starting a new fan fiction soon. I started writing it and like the beginning, but then I don't like the rest. So I have to think of how to make it funny since it is a 'romantic comedy'. Check it out [​IMG]
  2. TubbyTinker

    TubbyTinker You're Average Person :)

    sounds good Phone...and don't worry, I'm a horrible writer too and I would love to do a poster for you once you post up the story...hehe...I'm kind of bored and i have no inspiration to write my stories atm
  3. n_naruk

    n_naruk TOOMTAM :: CHALiDA

    Title sounds interesting! & don't worry. I'm a horrible writer as well! Especially when it comes to procrastinating&slacking. Hahaha. I'll be looking forward to read more of the story! Good to see a new writer ;]
  4. jeeja

    jeeja Miss SMILES :D

    I'm a bad writer and updater myself. Glad 2 c a new writer. Can't wait. I adore both Teng1 n Best. :D :D :D
  5. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Characters & Intro:

    Niran Amarin (Run) – Son of an ambassador who was sent to France to study since he was young. He decided to become a doctor. After his residency he returned to Thailand. He met his first love on his return and he proposed a couple months later. On their wedding day, his soon to be wife was walking by the pool to relax, but her heels broke and she accidentally fell into the pool. Her head hit the edge of the rail and she went under. A maid caught this and went to report. Run rushed to the pool and helped her out. He started CPR. But, after 10 minutes, she never revived…

    Prathanh Sinh (Thanh) – Thanh is a middle class girl who hoped to become a forensic scientist like her late step father. Her step father was her hero because he raised her. But, he had passed away from cancer the day she found out that she would get into her dream school. Her mother continues to be silent and keeps to herself. Her mother is a ceramics teacher now. A friend of the family had given her a box that her step father left for her. But, it said not to open it until she graduated from school. She will graduating in two years.

    Aumpanh Amarin (Mr. Aum) – He is an ambassador to Australia. He and his wife often leave Thailand to Australia. He plans to retire soon and stay at home in Thailand. He and his wife only has one son who they love very much. But, their love couldn’t save their son from becoming a workaholic and a careless player.

    Saksith Amarin (Sith) – Constantly urges her husband to quit work and retire so that they can be home with their son who refuses to go to Australia with them. Even when they go home to visit, Run never takes a break from work or she constantly worries about seeing news of him leaving a hotel room with a girl crying after him.

    Pirot Khoonpa – A highly respected hospital director who owns several Bangkok hospitals. He carries a deep secret around that causes him to be passive and avoidant of his obnoxious wife. His children are often childish and do not want to follow his dreams of them becoming a doctor or at least helping at the hospital.

    Airin Khoonpa – Very outright and shows off about being rich. She cares about brand names and living off of her husband’s money. She goes out to dinner parties and committees on a daily basis. Her husband can never give her satisfaction at home. He constantly ignores her and she hates him for that, but she is too proud to leave.

    Mornnapa Sinh – 18 years earlier, Mornnapa came crying home to her brother’s house just outside of Chianrai. She had just graduated from an art school in which she had a scholarship for. She decided to stay there and assist in her aunt’s clothing store. But, something caused her to return to her brother.

    Ruan Mannith – Ruan is Mornnapa’s brother’s best friend. He had always had a crush on Mornnapa and had even told her he loved her at one point. But, she decided to accept her scholarship and leave him. He loved her so much that he let her go. But, when he heard that Mornnapa came crying in the rain to her brother, he immediately went to find out what happened. Mornnapa sobbed for days, until she was finally ready to tell him the truth. He promised to take care of things and they decide to get married.

    Andrew Nattawat Miller – Andrew is an art gallery owner who doesn’t really like art. He’s just in it for the money because that is what his parents did and they gave him the business. He went to school to become a businessman in hopes of running a huge company. But the only thing he could get his hands on were his parent’s gallery. After a while, he started to admire it a little and couldn’t see himself selling it.

    Nisa Worrapichay (Sa) – Sa loves Run, or so she thinks. She admires him and wants to win his heart. Her mother and Run’s mom are friends and she started liking Run since she saw him trying to save his fiancé. She felt sorry for their marriage, but he was also too good looking to pass up. She hopes to get her mother to urge Run’s mom to arrange them to be together. Her parents are wealthy politicians.

    Yutikarn Khoonpa (Karn) – He is currently 18 and is almost done with college. He focused on studying because his dad was so stern on education and his mom annoyed him so much. But, he really doesn’t want to work in the business or medical field. He’s rather travel and then return to focus on business. But, not business in the hospital setting.

    Anita Khoonpa (Annie) – Annie is Karn’s twin. She loves to shop and she is very carefree. She is similar to her mother, but hates to admit it. Her studies aren’t as strong as her brother’s and she simply doesn’t study to annoy her parents. She hates that her dad can’t stand up for himself with her mom and she hates her mom nagging all the time. So, she’s still in high school, hoping to graduate and attend some fashion school. But, her heart still isn’t settled on the idea. The piano is also her escape.

    Teungneung as Niran * Best as Thanh
    Ekarat Sarasuk as Mr. Aum * Tik Kanyarat as Mrs. Sith * Louis Amarin Simaroj as Pirot * Yui Jiranan as Airin
    Bee Namthip as Mornnapa * Bee Sawich as Ruan * Andrew Cronin as Andrew Miller
    Peak Patrasaya as Sa * Mario Maurer as Karn * Fon Putcharamai-Annie
    Ruj the Star as Ton * Paula Taylor as May

    Ron * Mrs. Vilai * Mr. Yot * Mr. James * Karat * Rotmay
    Goong * Ma * + other random ladies
  6. dancy

    dancy sarNie Oldmaid

    Kool. Can't wait to read this story. Thanks for the Characters & Intro info. Sound pretty good.
  7. huajaikaungtur

    huajaikaungtur - Marina ♥

    omggg, i sooo gotta read this.
    i was wondering when someone would make a fanfic using these characters, lol.
    Teung Neung's cute && so is Best.
    can't wait to start reading.
    don't worry, we all started as first fanfic writers
    && it isnt all that easy.
    ill be supporting you :]
  8. TubbyTinker

    TubbyTinker You're Average Person :)

    ooh...sounds interesting.......

    so on the posters, do you just want teng1 and Best on it since they are the main characters?
  9. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Chapter 1: Two Years Have Passed ​

    Finally, Thanh will be finished with school today. She stands still in her gown waiting to walk up to receive her degree. She looks out into the audience and spots her best friend Ton and May. She walks up as they call her name and cheers all over the room. Her classmates were cheering her on as well. She looks down at her mom and sees the tears drop. She knew her mom loved her with all her heart. She begins to imagine her step-father there right next to her mom with tears in his eyes as well. She imagines seeing her uncle who had passed away when she was 9 and her aunt who passed soon after. Who would’ve thought that she’d finally be done with her bachelor’s degree in forensics at 21. She thought she’d have to work harder because school was so expensive. But thanks to everyone on the coroner’s team she was able to finish school.

    Meanwhile, Run just came out of the ER after his 22 hour shift at 11 AM. He plans to go to his house today to rest since this was one of his longest shifts. He hopes not to get called in again because he’d like to read up on some studies. As he left the hospital and paparazzi followed him out and snap shots of him. He just laughed it off and got in his car and drove home. His phone started ringing and it was Patsy, the girl who he has been seeing for a year now. She keeps getting into the paper with him, but she’s not someone he’s serious with. Then a text came in from Grace. She is someone new who has been nagging him. He took out the battery on his phone and kept driving.

    Later in the evening:
    Thanh took pictures with her mom and friends. Her friends encouraged her to go on and go to the graduation party, but she looked at her mom and told them that she’d rather be home. She’s waiting to open the gift that her father gave her. They walked home and she ran to change. Before opening the box, her mom asked her what it was. She told her mom that it was something dad had left for her that wasn’t to be opened until she graduated. Her mom’s face started to worry, but she thought, “It can’t be. It has to be a present, not the truth.” Thanh began to open the box. But, May told her to hold on because she’s going to get the new video camera that she just bought. They waited. While waiting, five minutes later, they received a call from May’s mother than May had been hit by a motorcycle as she stepped out onto the street. Everyone’s jaw dropped. They rushed out and got a taxi to the hospital.
    While waiting, the ER doctor came out and told them that May was fine. She only suffered a broken leg. Ton was relieved. May’s parents were relieved. They all waited for May and it was already morning.

    Run had actually slept over 16 hours and just woke up. The maid brought him some coffee and a newspaper. She said, “Mr. Run is actually home today.” He glared at her and she left. The paper showed Run on the features section where the reporter reports, “Mr. Niran actually went home alone after his shift. Mystery girl hiding at home?” Run just sighed. He took out his phone and called Goong since she didn’t text him. She was so happy he called and invited him for dinner. Thus, he left and went over to her hotel and stayed the night.

    In the morning:
    Run got up and walked out. He left some money for Goong and a day after pill. Paparazzi waited for him down the halls. He went down the stairs and got in his car to drive off and go to work. Everyone at the hospital knows that he’s the best ER doctor there and the director really admires his work. The director is a family friend. They allow him to show up to work whenever he pleases, but dislikes his gossip. But if they want to keep the best, they have to let him do whatever he pleases.

    Thanh had forgotten about her gift from her father. But when she woke up, her mother had already went to work. She decides to go ahead and open it without everyone present. She decides to tape it with the camera that May had left her. She opens up the box…

    My Critique​

    Hey everyone. Thanks for giving my fanfic a chance. I guess I got so excited in a story that I wrote whatever was in my mind and didn't really think about why my title was even "Nobody's Business" I had a different concept of a romantic comedy and the reason why I was going to call it Nobody's business. But the more I wrote, the more I realized this was more of a drama compared to a romantic comedy that I read from another writer here on Sarn. I got through several chapters for this fanfic and my fingers are aching from probably arthritis. Hehe. But, I decided to write the last chapter yesterday so that it won't completely suck. In English class back in high school the teachers have always said to write the intro and the conclusion first. Now I'm using their advice and hopefully I can make the story work and I figured out a way to make the title work for this fanfic. I now have to go back and fill in the gaps.

    Also, I don't know if you all care about the ages of the characters, but pretty much the people in my story are super geniouses or something because a lot of them are done with school so fast. i.e. Run in the intro was 23 at the time (let's pretend he got college credit as a junior in high school and completed college earlier than he should). So he is now 25 (haha) and a doctor for 2 years since then. Thanh is 21 now, her age and education status is actually accurate in my opinion, unless to be a forensic scientist takes longer than 4 years...then oops. Karn and Annie are only about a year younger than Thanh. I think in the intro they were 18. So if two years passed, they are 20. Run's parents are older than Thanh's parents of course because Thanh's parents met each other at a younger age (college age). Like I said earlier, imagine the characters older or younger than their true age.

    One more thing, Run is pronounced (Larn, or whatever the ending sound of Niran (meaning forever)is.) and Thanh means 'sugar'

    Enjoy :p
  10. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Thank you for making a poster for me :D I say do whatever you think looks pretty because you're the artist :D I luv it no matter who is on the poster.
  11. huajaikaungtur

    huajaikaungtur - Marina ♥

    i am sooo curious.
    can't wait for the next chapter.
    i really want to see whats in that box!
  12. jeeja

    jeeja Miss SMILES :D

    This is coming along well. Can't wait for the next chapter.

    I wonder wats in the box???
  13. n_naruk

    n_naruk TOOMTAM :: CHALiDA

    I'm loving your casts! Lots of my favorites! I'm missing Bee Sawich. He's barely on screen anymore.

    I dislike the fact that Run is always with one girl after another __.__
    I wonder what's in the box as well. Thanh's mom said something about "it has to be a present, not the truth..."
  14. TubbyTinker

    TubbyTinker You're Average Person :)

    okay Phone...I'm done with your poster but I'm pretty sure the pictures I used doesn't fit with the storyline...Hope u like it tho since their pixes were hard to find....

    Nobody's Business
  15. jeeja

    jeeja Miss SMILES :D

    Aww...that's a hot poster Thip. :D
  16. n_naruk

    n_naruk TOOMTAM :: CHALiDA

    Very cute poster Thip! Somehow I think the pics fit quite well.
  17. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Chapter 2: A Box of Truth

    Thanh sees a picture of herself as a baby. On the back she reads, “The daughter who I wished was my own, nonetheless she’s mine, but I must return her to her real father.” Thanh begins to tear. Then, she pulls out a necklace with a ring on it. It looks very expensive. At the bottom is an envelope that Thanh opens up.

    To my daughter Thanh,

    I wanted so much for you to be happy. I believe that the only way for you to be truly happy is to know the truth and help your mother with the truth. You may have already graduated from forensic school today and I am deeply proud of you. But, nothing is more important than finding out who your father is and bring back justice for your mother. I am saddened that I am unable to do that for your mother since I am very selfish. I could not give you and your mother back to him when I was alive because I was pitifully selfish. Perhaps today is too late to return your mother, but it is not too late to return you.

    18 years ago from this day, your mother had come home to uncle’s house sobbing. It took days before I promised that whatever is on her mind I will keep a secret as long as I am alive. I promised to take care of her and not let anything break her heart. She began to look at me and tell me that she is selfish. She wanted to die, but then as she was about to jump a bridge, she fainted and had a nightmare that the baby inside her would never forgive her. When a standby person saw her, they helped her out and gave her money to return home since she refused to go to the hospital. She admitted that she was foolish to believe a guy would love her and stand for her against his parents. But, in the end, he didn’t even come after her after his engagement announcement at the hotel that she was invited to.

    She thought he would follow and he didn’t. Since I promised not to tell you the truth as long as I am alive, I figured that I am sick now and feel as though I don’t have much time left. I decided to leave this letter to tell you the truth. After your mother told me what happened, I went in search of that man who made your mother so sad. I was finally able to get a hold of him as he pulled me into his office at the “Khoonpa Hospital”. Your mom never knew that I did this. There, I beat the man, but he told me to stop and I could feel that he wanted to say something. I decided to give him a chance to talk. While lying there, he told me that he loved Mornnapa. But, his parents announced everything in front of all the socialites and his soon to be wife was sick with cancer. He couldn’t go after her. But, he went to his desk and gave me a necklace and a ring that he would propose to Mornnapa with. But, he never got the chance to do it. He then gave me a picture to give to Mornnapa and told me to ask Mornnapa to wait for him. He will go after her. I looked at him and told him that I will do that, but if I were him, I’d go now. And I left.

    I kept the necklace and ring and picture to myself because I was selfish. I guess everyone was selfish. Maybe your father actually went back for her, but I hated that he didn’t have the guts to leave with me to go get your mother back that day. So, I did not let her know and did what I thought was best for her. I have sealed your father’s picture in the book that is at the bottom of this box. This book, I wrote for you as I went through 15 years doing forensics work. Please forgive me daughter. Please forgive your mother. Please help yourself and your mother. Perhaps your father went to get your mother 18 years ago.

    Your father

    Thanh sobbed and couldn’t believe that this was the reason why her mother was so passive and why she never noticed affection between her parents. This is why her father kept busy with work and only had time if Thanh had gone on trips with him. Mother never invited her to the school to learn ceramics. She never let Thanh touch art or learn art. She never once made Thanh art as a gift. Maybe if her mother did not go through this, Thanh would’ve been wonderful at art. Maybe she wouldn’t have wanted to be a forensic scientist. She had a lot to think about and she did not want to tell her mother what she received. She did not want to open that book to read in case the picture fell out.

    A week has passed:
    Thanh decided to go out and spy on her mother at work. She would sit at the park and wonder if she finally decides to find her dad, if things would work out for her parents. Her father was a liar and didn’t go after who he thought he loved. She was mad about that. But, then she thought maybe her father did go after her mother, but her mother wasn’t there to wait. Thanh decided to wait it out longer and decided to go ahead and start job searching. She went out to buy some decently priced interview clothes. She had been an intern at an office, but they had no money to hire anymore. So, they wrote a letter of recommendation for her.
    Goong had called Run and told him that she decided not to take the day after pill because she knew she wouldn’t be pregnant. Besides she dropped it on the floor and didn’t want to pick it up and put it in her mouth. Run yelled at her and told her that nothing is 100% and that he is a doctor and has no time to care for a baby right now. She sobbed and hung up on him. He returned to work as usual.

    Another week has passed:
    Thanh receives a call and the office she interned at told her that they have a very special opportunity for her. The company in Bangkok is looking for a forensic scientist to join their team. It is a small office that will be a sister site to the Khoonpa hospital. She paused. There was no time to think things over. Her previous boss asked if she was still on the line. She cleared her throat and said, “Yes, I’m interested.”

    My Critique
    I wanted to let the readers know everything right at the beginning. It's like watching a lakorn and only us viewers know what is going on and then you just want to yell at the the stupidity of the leads. More to come tomorrow :p
  18. PhoneO_5

    PhoneO_5 sarNie Oldmaid

    Thank you so much! I love it. Tengneung looks good in this picture! Everyone is so creative here. I wish I can do stuff like that; especially as quick as you :D
  19. dancy

    dancy sarNie Oldmaid

    Wow the poster look cool.

    Pretty good. Wonder what going to happened next.
  20. huajaikaungtur

    huajaikaungtur - Marina ♥

    her father is not her real father.
    can't wait to see what happens next!!

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