I think we all go through the same stuff in our daily lives with our parents. My mom yells and nag like every 30 mins or so and over stuff that don't even relate to us. At times, its a little too much because our parents don't walk in our shoes on a daily bases and they don't understand what goes on behind their close door when we step out into the world. When i was younger, i didn't understand the "why are you doing this"? and "how could you"?, but now, its a little different because im much older and a little bit wiser.
With Hmong parents, you just have to play thier game, but beat them at their own game. Don't let them get the best of you and try to control yourself in a way that will help you stay ahead of them one step always. At least your dad's line isn't so threaten...my mom's favorite and famous line for us is..."i brought you into this world so therefore, i can take you out any day with no problems to anyone". or "oh, the reason you're out so late is that you are looking for your grave so i can put you in" and her signature line is..."when you come home don't forget to pick up a stick for yourself". I know, scary huh?
wow I gotta admit that is pretty scary...lol...yea I know that time will pass and the future is brighter than now but sometimes it's just too much...it's like he has so much to worry about that he doesn't know where to let it out so he lets it out on us and all his frustrations come out. it's wierd because first we'll be all cool and talking, joking, and laughing and then he gets all serious and your just like fack! this again! ugh!
all these lecture and repetitive talks is like driving all us kids further and futher away from him. I was talking with one of my sister and we both agree that instead of making us want to stay he's making us not want to live with him anymore...I know it's wrong but you just can't help but think like that...ugh life at home just sucks...my temper is just getting so bad that I myself don't even like me anymore! I feel like I'm always bad or in a bad mood! it gets annoying always thinking that if I wasn't at home there would have been more things I can do on my own and experience different things out there...
Some people say I'm so lucky to stay at home and not worry about paying the bills and saving up money or being away from my family but you know what maybe that's exactly what I need and want right to be on my own. I keep on hearing that I'm still ignorant of the real world and that I might not be ready for it but when will i be? When will I be able to experience that? when I'm like what 25? 27? 30? my dad expects me to live at home forever but I told him numerous of times that I'm going to be moving far away after I finish college at home. He always bring up that having jobs here and in another city is the same or I should major in a certain major that has work here but maybe I don't want to live here. I want to move far away! I no that I depend too much on my parents and my siblings that's why I'm so ignorant but they just don't understand that. It even gets to the point where I've thought about transfering to another college far aways from home...
Plus I still feel very lost of who I really am. of course that's a common question that almost every 19 year old asks themsleves but for some reason my dad just seems to not get it or maybe he does...IDK anymore man. When my sister lives for college it'll only be me being the eldest at home and it's going to suck! I don't even know how to drive yet! gosh need to start learning!
in the end I know my parents love me and wants to best for me. I understand where they're coming from I know that one day when I have kids I might just be in the same shoes as they are but can't they just let be breath for a bit? can't they let me go for just a bit? I don't want to be control but there's nothing I can do...Nothing!
wow it feels like I've writtien a whole book...lol...ok I'll end it here...
But life isnt easy. No matter where you go.
