Inside My Heart


sarNie Oldmaid
Here I go writing another one lol. Comment if you like it. This way I know if I should continue or not.

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“Ahhh!” Kan screamed and released my hands and grabbed hold of his temples. His face looked agonized with pain. I felt frantic, confused, I didn’t know what to do next.

Kan had just finished confessing his love to me.

We met a few months back at a conference, for designers and decorators and event planners. He was just standing there at the entrance as I entered, dressed to impress. My ex-boyfriend’s parents own the company I work for. We broke it off because he was a cheating scum bag. I don’t know why I was able to stay with the company after our bad break up, but his mother had begged me and I couldn’t say no to her. Not to brag, but I knew their company needed my expertise and I was too stubborn to show how upset I really was about the break up. Plus, they raised me after finding me sitting in a street corner waiting for my older brother when I was 5. He never came back and I can barely remember his face.

I wore an ivory satin dress that matched the curve of my body. Mrs. Mone Montree picked it out and purchased it for me. She wanted me to look good for the event so that I would get noticed and make their company look good. It was like selling me as a product to get others to invest and hire us. I feel disgusted by it, but I have to do it. Who doesn’t need to make a living?

I was by myself, Mrs. Mone couldn’t make it. She had to fly out to meet with another investor in France. They had a huge event they wanted to plan in Thailand and wanted it top secret. I was the one who helped seal the deal on that, but Mrs. Mone said I had to connect with a company called Thepmahasorn. The owner is Kan Kantarat Thepmahasorn. A bachelor, young, educated, and on the rise. He was rumored to be at the conference to hire a coordinator to run his anniversary party. I didn’t know much about him except for his name.

As I walked towards the entrance door, I noticed a very handsome man. His eyes were narrowed on me and I felt my heart flutter. He was gorgeous; I couldn’t help but glance back at him. His eyes were magnetizing. Next thing I knew, I tripped over my own dress and nearly fell forward, but strong arms caught me. His hands on places I felt uncomfortable with, but I turned to look up and it was him.

He smiled at me and I smiled back, embarrassed. Kan leaned down to whisper, “I’m just that handsome, eh?” My mouth flew wide open and all the cameras were flashing on us.

Kan helped me up and held his hands out to shake mine. I was pissed at him for whispering that in my ear. “What a cocky ass guy,” I thought. But then, he said, “My name is Kantarat Thepmahasorn.”

He was my target for the night. And I ruined it. Or so I thought.

I excused myself and went to the women’s restroom to calm down. I made myself walk back into the conference room. Many people were still whispering about me. I had let Mrs. Montree down.

Kan was called up to the stage to introduce his company. They were new, but everyone knew that shares for his company were more than enough to surpass those that have been around for years. I knew competition to get that job was all around me. I didn’t want to give up, but I thought it was already hopeless. I just walked around and looked at all the little presentations there. I even met some past clients who told me they’d like to hire us again. I told them to give us a call and I can make an appointment. My head was wandering as I went to grab a glass of red wine. Just as I turned around, Kan was there, and I spilled the wine all over his suit. “I blew it,” I thought.

But, he laughed it off and grabbed my wine glass and placed it back down on the table. He pulled me towards a side door and I didn’t know whether to scream for help or to go along with him. Maybe I had a little faith that he will still hire me.

The room we entered was a small little room. It was a VIP room made especially for him. “I’m going to hire you!” he said. I gasped. But he continued, “It must be fate.”

From then on, I never questioned why he chose me out of anyone there. We didn’t even talk before he hired me. Perhaps he knew my intentions. I’ll never know why. But I went to work with him every day, or he made me see him every day.

Two weeks into the meeting, I knew we had a connection. He showered me with praise and I could see how honest of a guy he was. He was kind. Everyone loved him at his company. No wonder he was popular. Kan seemed too good to be true. One day, he took me out to dinner and asked me to be his girlfriend. I hesitated since I just got out of a bad relationship, but I knew I had to move on and start all over.

6 months later, we threw the huge anniversary event. There, I met his fiancé. The one he never told me about. I felt very hurt by it. I had given him my heart and he destroyed it. Just like Pete Montree did. He used me. At that moment I thought, “luckily I didn’t sleep with the jerk.” I held in my anger like I always did with everything, but when the event ended, I had to rush out. I changed into a light flowy summer dress and walked out onto the beach to scream.

I walked out quite a ways. But I heard him calling me in the distance. “Na! Na! We need to talk!”

I crossed my arms and decided I must talk to him or else this will end stupidly. It’s best to end things on a good note.

He reached me and grabbed a hold of my hands. I didn’t pull back.

“Na, I’m sorry about tonight. I’m sorry I never told you. I have a fiancé. Someone who I don’t love. Our parents had us prearranged since we were young. She just came back from Australia and I even forgot all about her until she appeared tonight. Na, please believe me. Na, you are the water and air that keeps me alive. Without you, I cannot live. Just as I vowed to never fall in love, I fell for you. You came into my life. You can’t just leave it now! Promise me you won’t! I love you Na!”

Just like that, I didn’t have the chance to answer him. I didn’t get to tell him I promise not leave him. I didn’t get the chance to tell him I love him too. Just like that, he collapsed on the ground crying in pain.

Just like that, his secretary caught up and looked at me. He picked Kan up and took him away.

I ran after them and even found the hospital he was admitted to. But, his fiancé wouldn’t let me in. Everyone treated me like I never existed. Finally everyone left except for the nanny who I became close to. She let me in to see him. He was awake when I entered the hospital room. I smiled knowing he is calm now and to see him again.

“I promise to never leave you…” I started to say. But he raised his hand to stop me from speaking any further. His eyes glared at me angrily. “You’re the one that is here to blackmail me. Don’t fool me. My mom and my fiancé told me everything.”

I was awestruck. What was he talking about?


imma kick ur-ass-aya !
Sounds great so far Phone! I've always been a fan of your writing and will definitely be following up with this one. Thanks! I look forward to reading more.


“Promise me...that you will live well.” XiaoFeng
love all of ur ff definitely follow to read it... yes u should continue.


sarNie Oldmaid
Sounds great so far Phone! I've always been a fan of your writing and will definitely be following up with this one. Thanks! I look forward to reading more.
love all of ur ff definitely follow to read it... yes u should continue.
You two are just too nice. I appreciate all my readers!! Without readers I wouldn't have the motivation to write. Thanks for reading and I hope this ff will be worth your time.


sarNie Oldmaid
Here is the next part. Starting off slow again probably huh? It's still kind of making you guess what is wrong with Kan. Something is up with him and I don't want to reveal what it is yet. And poor Na, just as confused as everyone else reading this right? Any guesses yet? Why are all the servants so secretive about things? Why didn't the nanny defend her? And gosh, that fiance' of his...she just might irk your nerves. And the new characters? Have any idea who Chalee Gregson is? His character is fiction, but which celebrity did I model him after?


Next 1

The sun shone brightly over the sea as Na knelt down facing the blue waters on her knees in the sand. Her hands clenched the sand as she thought back to the hurtful words that penetrated Kan’s mouth.

“Don’t try to tell me that you didn’t know about my health problems” said Kan.

“What health issues?” asked Na.

“Just stop it you fake bitch. You tricked me while my family was away. You got close to me and made me hire you so that you can seduce me and get me to marry you. You wanted to marry me fast so I can sign my company over to you,” said Kan.

Na was utterly confused. She had no idea what Kan was talking about. He made no sense whatsoever. The nanny stood silently watching Na, without saying a single word to comfort her. She wanted Kan’s nanny to turn to her and tell her that he is talking gibberish because he hit his head on something when he landed. But, the nanny casted her eyes on the ground and didn’t dare make eye contact with Na.

“What the heck is going on? Tell me! Why are you like this Kan?” asked Na, pleadingly. Her voice trailing off as her body shook with anxiety and confusion.

“Get out of here, you phantom! I don’t want to see your fake self again!” shouted Kan, “Get out before I call the hospital security!”

Na shed tears until they dried out from the heat. Her skinned burned from sitting out on the sand for hours. The pain from the burn did not hurt her as much as Kan’s words.

A few hours later, Na awoke to the sound of a beeping monitor. She opened her eyes quickly, hoping everything from the night before was just a nightmare. The nurse stood next to Na with a clipboard on hand.

“Glad you are awake…Miss Natida Pikhun,” said the nurse, “Good thing you weren’t out there for too long and my brother witnessed you passing out or else you’d be in danger. That beach you were on is usually very secluded.”

Na winced as she took note of the pain from the burns she had encountered. “What happened?” asked Na.

The nurse explained that her brother was out on the back patio and noticed Na sitting there crying. He didn’t want to bother Na because Na looked devastated and in need of some venting even though the beach there is their private beach. After returning for a quick lunch, the nurse’s brother noticed Na falling over, face planted in the sand. He rushed over and assessed Na. He picked her up and carried her inside the house. He got Na cooled down and called for help before bringing her to the hospital to get treated for dehydration. Na nodded her head as she listened to the story and at the end, she thanked the nurse. She asked the nurse if there was any way she can personally thank the nurse’s brother for saving her. The nurse nodded, “He is the doctor here.”

An hour later, “Hello, I’m Dr. Gregson. I’m glad you’re doing okay and you will be discharged in a bit,” said Chalee Gregson, MD.

“Are you the one that saved me?” asked Na.

“I don’t like to take credit like that, but I am the guy that found you while I took my lunch break, treated you, and made sure you didn’t die,” said Chalee.

Na looked down, a bit saddened and guilty for giving the doctor trouble. Chalee noticed and sat down in the chair by Na’s hospital bed. He reached for her shoulder and rested his hand there. “I was joking. I was trying to lighten the mood. I’m sorry for making you feel worse. Sometimes my intentions don’t come out the way I plan them to. People don't understand my sarcasm.”

“No, without you I would probably still be lying there in the sand, baked and cooked on the inside. I didn’t know it was a private beach. I couldn’t think straight. I first trespassed and then I caused you trouble,” said Na. “I am really grateful to you, honestly. And I apologize for bringing you trouble.”

Chalee took his hand off of Na and said, “Your vitals look great now. I am prescribing some creams to cool your skin off and relieve some symptoms of sunburn. I’m also going to recommend you take some extra vitamins and fluids to replenish what you lost for sitting out there for hours. My sister told me how long you were out there for. And despite you trespassing, I’m glad to have saved another life. I’m a doctor you know? I do those things.”

Na smiled, at that instant, she made eye contact with Chalee and a new friendship formed between them.

Na put on her clothes and said goodbye. She thanked both Chalee and his sister, not expecting to see them again, but little did she know, she’d have another encounter.

When Na arrived in Bangkok, she made a call out to Mrs. Montree and told her that she might’ve lost money because the Thepmahasorn company might not pay the rest of the money for their event. Mrs. Montree sighed and let Na tell her what went wrong. She felt bad for the girl. Love isn’t her thing and she didn’t understand why Kan would do that to Na. Na is really a nice girl.

“I want to leave and take a break. Is that okay with you?” asked Na.

A few weeks later, Mrs. Montree called Na informing her that Kan called because he wanted to reconcile with her. Na didn’t understand this whole thing. “He’s been trying to get a hold of you,” said Mrs. Montree.

Na hung up and wondered if she should go back. She looked out of her apartment window and became envious of all the Portuguese couples holding hand along the beach. She wanted that. Na took a deep breath in and decided it was time to return and give Kan a second chance. Maybe she will get an answer this time.

As soon as Na arrived at the airport, Kan ran up to her and hugged her. She felt his warm tears drip on her shoulder. Her heart pounded. “I’m so confused,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” said Kan. “There are things I haven’t told you, stuff I haven’t told anyone. The only people who know are my family. I don’t know if you’ll be able to accept it. I can’t say it here. I think I still have time to explain. “

Kan released his hug and looked into Na’s eyes. Her eyes were red. He took his thumb and wiped her tears away. Na pressed her lips together, and closed her eyes. She knew Kan would press his warm lips against her and melt her with his amazing kisses. One that’s gave her butterflies every time.

Kan helped Na into her condo. She offered him something to drink and when they both cooled down, Na felt her heart falling for Kan more than ever, Kan sat across from her at the small dining table.

“This is hard for me to admit,” said Kan. He grabbed her hand and held it gently, “I love you, and I feel that you need to know what is going on with me. When I get stressed...”

Na sat silently, anticipating what Kan will admit. She wondered, “Is he going to admit to being a con artist? Is he an abuser? Does he do drugs?” So many things ran through her mind.

Suddenly, “Oh no,” said Kan.

He started to grab his head and scream. The night of the beach brought back terrible memories. Na wanted to know exactly what is wrong with Kan. He didn’t get to finish what he started to say. And once again, she failed to tell him she loves him.


imma kick ur-ass-aya !
Health problems!? Awe, poor Kan but still, it wasn't necessary for him to call Na a fake b*tch, phantom even if his intentions were to drive her away for the better. I sympathize with her character. As for Chalee, hmm Andrew Gregson? I'm thinking back to his role as Roj from KSD while reading this chapter : )

Thanks for the update!


sarNie Oldmaid
Health problems!? Awe, poor Kan but still, it wasn't necessary for him to call Na a fake b*tch, phantom even if his intentions were to drive her away for the better. I sympathize with her character. As for Chalee, hmm Andrew Gregson? I'm thinking back to his role as Roj from KSD while reading this chapter : )

Thanks for the update!
Hehe, you'll have to wait and see if you are correct about Kan's health issues (sticking to my original storyline thus far) since I haven't written the next part yet.

As for Chalee!! Yes, I love my Andrew Charlie Gregson. But, I totally forgot that he played a doctor in KSD. I also put him in here because of the rumors of him and Yaya in Prissana remake. I haven't visited that topic in a while, so IDK who is confirmed.


imma kick ur-ass-aya !
You're making me curious now and it only adds to the excitement and anticipation for the future chapters.

Ah, I love Andrew as well. He's amongst one of my favourite actors and I really do wish he'd come back to do more lakorns. Last time I heard, Komchadluek said that Andrew has a good chance of being the praek but there hasn't been any news since. I shall have my fingers crossed for this pairing.


sarNie Oldmaid
Still not revealing what Kan has yet. IDK if Na will find out before readers do. She'll be out of the loop for a while. She is trying to stay so strong, but she is so weak because she is holding in everything. She has to let it out and maybe forget about Kan. She opened her heart to him and he can't even tell her what is going on. But then, he was going to, until he went to the hospital again. And why stay with a guy when she knows the mother-in-law will be a bitch to her? Based on the very little that I've written, what would you do if you were in her shoes? And the end of this chapter...ex bf, best friend, Chalee. Drama?

Next 2

Once again, Na stood behind a window in an emergency room as Kan’s mom pushed her way in and shoved Na out of the way. She didn’t understand why they are so rude to her and why nobody was telling her anything.

An hours passed when Kan finally calmed down. His secretary, Park, walked over and stood next to Na. He folded his arms and stared into the room, although a curtain blocked their views to see into the room.

“You know, I don’t think you should come into his life again. He doesn’t need you. His mom already has a plan for him,” said Park.

Na shed a single tear and turned to look up at Park. “Can you just tell me what is going on?”

“There is nothing for you to know. It is best for you to not know and just leave him. I will tell him you never existed and that you were just his imagination,” said Park.

“I don’t get it. Why can’t I know what is going on?” asked Na.

Kan’s mom walked out of the ER room and placed her hands on her hips. “What are you still doing here? I told you to get her out of here Park!”

“Doing that right now ma’am,” said Park, as he grabbed Na’s arm and dragged her out.

Na resisted as much as she could and kept asking, “Why? What is going on? Tell me!”

Just as she exited the door, she heard Kan’s voice, “Is it that insane girl again? Get her out of here and you better tell security to keep her out!”

Na just didn’t get it. Why is he cutting her out of his life again? Why does he keep going back and forth between loving her so much to hating her the next minute?

Park pushed Na into her car and told her to get out. If she dared go in to sneak a visit with Kan again, the family will take him out of town and keep them away. Na asked, “What difference will that make? I am still going to be apart from him no matter what.”

Park responded, “You can afford to travel wherever his mother sends him?”

Na went silent and sat in the driver seat as Park shut the door and crossed his arms and stared at her. She ignored his expression as she soaked in her confusion. He looked sympathetically at her.

A few days later, Mone walked into the company kitchen where Na was baking a cake to bring to a customer for their birthday. “Sweet child,” said Mone, “baking a cake for another client? Your really do too much.”

“Yes,” replied Na. “A customer deserves the best.”

“Even you know who?” asked Mone. “You know, I don’t want to upset you more, but since he hasn’t called. I know why. See this paper?” Mone held up the gossip column and a picture of Kan and his fiancé took up a quarter of the paper.

Na walked over and sat down at the table and grabbed the paper to read the caption, “Hi-so bachelor ready to settle down.”

“I wished it were you in that picture,” said Mone. “You deserve to be there. He played you so bad. I really thought he was sincere. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have let you go that far into the relationship with him. You know how I am with our other clients. I don’t let them touch you to that extent.”

Na knew that Mone is right. She thought Kan was different from other clients. She truly fell for his charms. A big mistake on her part, but the difference between Kan and Pete was that Pete cheated on her. Kan had a fiancé, but his actions confuses Na.

A few weeks later, Na decides to meet with a hospital to discuss their fundraising event. The hospital president personally contacted Mrs. Montree to see if they’d like to take on the case. Na went to work like usual, more than she should take on to try and forget Kan. This job will be her 3[sup]rd[/sup] one with the event taking place in 4 months.

Na went to her room and put on white pinstripe pants and a lace olive-colored blouse with a bow on the side. She had just finished curling her hair that bounced as her head moved. She went to her dresser and put on the ruby red lipstick she received from a booth at one of the events she attended. Her look was complete and she smiled at herself, “You will be successful today, land a job, and smooth sailing from there!” Na picked up her purse and her messenger bag and headed out to go to the hospital.

Na met the hospital manager and followed her into the little conference room they had set up. “Mr. Withikorn will be right in. I will go get a cart of refreshments. Do you have any allergies I should be aware of before bringing in peanuts or something of the sort?” asked the manager.

Na told the manager she didn’t have any allergies. “Oh, by the way, Mr. Withikorn’s son will be attending the meeting. He just flew in from out of town. He’s a doctor at some of our smaller branches. Mr. Withikorn informed me that he seemed excited to get to meet you.”

A few minutes later, a knock came at the door. Na swung her chair around and her eyes widened as she saw Chalee Gregson standing there with his light purple polo suit shirt and black slacks and a gold pen. His gold glasses matched his pen and he smiled at Na.

“Doctor Gregson? You are here?” asked Na.

Chalee walked into the room as Na stood up to properly greet him. “Yes, I am here to attend the meeting. I saw your name and wondered if you were the same woman I rescued a few weeks before.”

Na looked away shyly. “Again, my remarks aren’t the best. I don’t even know how I’m a doctor, much less a people person,” said Chalee. “Oh, and Miss Pikhun, call me Chalee. No need to call me doctor. Even though I worked hard for my PH.D.” He laughed and then made a cheesy smile knowing that his jokes aren’t easily understood by others besides himself.

“And, call me Na,” said Na.

Chalee sat down across from Na. He explained that his father is the President of the hospital. He had taken on his mother’s last name. “She is American,” he explained. “I lived there for a few years before my father moved me back here to study in Thailand. Then I left for medical school to the US to be with my mother. They are separated.”

Chalee shook his head, apologizing for rambling on about his life. Na chuckled and enjoyed listening to his rambles. They were weird and he was really a nerd, but she thought he was cute. She has never met a client who she can feel so relaxed about meeting right away.

Mr. Pholdee Withikorn came into the room and greeted Na. He smiled as he realized his son had already met Na. They explained that they met each other at the beach. Mr. Withikorn laughed and their meeting proceeded. After an hour, the company concluded that they’d be honored if Na took on the case. Na hesitated because she didn’t want to ruin this event by taking the job because she wanted to be distracted from Kan.

Chalee smiled and said, “It’d be wonderful for someone as talented as you to help us with this charitable event. We truly need your expertise. And regardless, I don’t think I’d want to hire anyone else but you.”

Na told them she’d think about it and present it to her boss. As Na left Mr. Withikorn turned to Chalee, “What do you think? I told you she was a gem.” Chalee smiled and chuckled at his dad.

“Dad, we’re working on raising money for the hospital. Not finding me a wife. Besides, I don’t have time to date right now. I have lives to save,” said Chalee.

That evening, Na presented her ideas to Mone. Mone told her it was up to her whether she wanted to take on the task. “Na, Mr. Withikorn did call me after the meeting and told me that he doesn’t want to hire anyone but you.”

As she exited the building to the parking garage, Pete walked out of his car swinging his key. “Hi Miss Ex.”

“Hi,” Na rolled her eyes.

“I heard about your next job. I say take it. You’ll need the money to give me a great wedding present. Since Risa is your best friend,” said Pete.

“Just stop it! I don’t need your crap today. I just need to go home and sleep,” said Na.

Pete noticed that Na wasn’t going to snap back at him like her usual self today. He put his key in his pocket and walked over to Na. Pete placed his hand on her shoulders and she looked up at him with tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m pathetic, I know. You don’t have to rub it in.”

Pete pulled Na closer to him and held her. He ran his finger through her hair and rubbed her back. He pressed his lips together as he realized that she really loved Kan. “Kan is a bigger jerk than I am,” thought Pete.

“It’s okay, just let it all out, don’t hold in anymore tears,” said Pete, gently. Consoling Na as best as he could. “I will help you get to the bottom of why he is marrying someone else and not you.”


sarNie Oldmaid
I want to update this since I haven't in a week, but IDK if I will get to it this weekend. I have to run some errands and do some subbing, etc. & of course catching up on watching shows. I also have work on Sunday :(. Hopefully I do get to updating this.


sarNie Oldmaid
Darn, I really want to come back to this right now!! But wait a bit longer, I shall return to you "Inside My Heart"! Because this ff is already making my brain go crazy with all that I had planned for this!!


You should really get to this Phone0_5, I love Mark and Yaya pairing despite what others say about them. I also love your ff's too. This one is really great so far, please continue. :)


sarNie Oldmaid
Had to comment on this to move it up so I can at least find it when I return to it. I haven't pinned the poster to my profile yet so it is hard to find.

Plus, I wanted to post to let all those who is following it or is still wanting to follow or will follow it know that I haven't forgotten this one yet.

Bieluvr, I haven't watched anything with Mark and Yaya acting together so I don't know how they are onscreen. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that I paired these two up. Thanks to Thip's poster it makes it easier for me to visualize them together in the story hehe.