mainhiathao
sarNie Granny
no...never..well my dad has one ...n she don't live with us anymore..she only live with us for lie a year or so...but i wish to not have any...
would you ever wanted a second mother?
- Thread starter pangnerlicious
- Start date
AutumnStar
sarNie Egg
SORRY...GONNA BE LONG!!! 
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY MANY OF YOU ARE SAYING 'NO'. TO ME, I REALLY DON'T CARE MUCH. IF MY PARENTS ARE BETTER OFF DIVORCED AND MOVE ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE AND BE HAPPY, THEN I'M HAPPY FOR THEM. MY PARENTS WERE DIVORCED WHEN I WAS LIKE 8 YEARS OLD. IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE AND HAD NO ONE TO TURN TO WHEN I WAS SAD. OVER THE NEXT 10 YEARS I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE MY DAD (FOR ONE THING, HE GOT REMARRIED) AND I HATE THE FACT THAT HE WANTED ME TO ADDRESS HER MOM, TOO!!! I DID VISIT HIM BUT ONLY OVER THE SUMMER BECAUSE MY PARENTS DON'T LIVED IN THE SAME STATE. MY DAD WAS IN CA AND MY MOM WAS UP IN MN. FOR 10 YEARS, MY MOM BRAINWASHED ME DAILY OF HOW BAD OF A HUSBAND AND FATHER MY DAD WAS. SHE KEPT TELLING ME THAT MY DAD WOULD RATHER TAKE HIS NEW WIFE OVER ME. MY STEP-MOTHER IS ACTUALLY NOT MEAN LIKE MY MOM SAID. SHE'S QUIET AND CALM. DOESN'T TALK MUCH. WHILE SPENDING TIME WITH HER AND MY DAD, I REALIZED THAT MY STEP-MOTHER SORT OF DISTANT HERSELF FROM ME. NOW HITTING MY MID-20S I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY. FIRST, I REFUSED TO CALL HER 'MOM' AND IF SHE TRIED TO SIT NEAR MY DAD, I WOULD TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET HIS ATTENTION (GOT THIS IDEA FROM MY REAL MOM - NOT MY FAULT - MY REAL MOM TOLD ME TO DO THIS!) MY STEP-MOM DID BE ME LOTS OF STUFF WHENEVER SHE COULD OR HAD THE MONEY. SOMETIMES, MY MOM EVEN TOLD ME TO JUST CALLED MY DAD FOR MONEY WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE DIDN'T NEED IT. AND MY DAD PAID FULL CHILD SUPPORT - PLUS GIVING ME MONEY AND BUY ME STUFF WHENEVER.
LOOKING ALL THE OVERALL PICTURE, I SORT OF UNDERSTAND THE STORY. FIRST, I ALWAYS REMEMBERED MY PARENTS ARGUING DAYS AND NIGHTS - MY MOM REFUSED TO HELP MY DAD OUT AROUND THE HOMES AND GETTING HERSELF A JOB. SHE SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL AND MY DAD WAS AT WORK. MY DAD EVEN HAD TO DROPPED ME OFF AT SCHOOL AND PICKED ME UP - WELL, I WALKED HOME SOMETIMES WHEN I GOT HOME FROM SCHOOL, SHE WAS STILL IN BED OR OUTSIDE ON THE PHONE. NO DINNER, NO SNACKS, NO FOOD READY. MY DAD HAD TO COOKED AND CLEANED UP AFTERWARD. OVERTIME, I GUESSED HE GOT FED UP. I REMEMBERED MY MOM ALWAYS CURSING MY DAD AND AFTER THEY DIVORCED I WOULD ASKED WHY SHE DIDN'T WANT TO WORK, SHE WOULD TELL ME SHE'S TOO OLD TO WORK - GUESS WHAT, SHE'S ONLY 44 YEARS NOW!! THAT MEANS BACK THEN SHE'S ONLY IN HER MID-20S TO 30S. SHE CALLED THAT 'OLD'????
OVERTIME, THEY BOTH AGREED ON MOVING ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE BECAUSE THEY BOTH WANTED DIFFERENCE THINGS IN LIFE. MY MOM REMAINED GOOD FRIEND WITH MY DAD BECAUSE OF ME. BOTH STARTING DATING AND SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. I WAS ABLE TO VISIT MY DAD WHENEVER AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BUT THE MINUTE MY DAD GOT INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND PROPOSED TO MY STEP-MOM, MY REAL MOM STARTED HATING MY DAD AND BRAINWASHING ME!!! SHE SAID SO MUCH SH*T ABOUT MY STEP-MOM, IT WOULD TAKE ME YEARS TO TELL YOU ALL.
MY POINT HERE IS FOLKS, IF OUR MOM AND DAD MOVED ON FOR THE BETTER REASONS, LET THEM. IT'S BETTER TO SEE THEM BOTH HAPPY THEN MISERABLE. I TOTALLY AGREED THAT I WOULD BE HECKA PISSED OFF IF MY DAD MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE WHILE STILL MARRIED TO MY MOM 'CAUSE THAT'S ADULTERY!!! AN ADVICE FOR THOSE WITH STEP-MOMS (I'M REFERRING TO THOSE WHO'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED FOR GOOD) THAT YOU MUST TRY TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TO ACCEPT YOUR STEP MOM AND WELCOME HER/HIM (STEP-DAD) INTO YOUR LIFE. IT'S MORE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM TO ADJUST TO A MAN / WOMAN WITH KID(S) ALREADY, BUT IF THEY DON'T LOVE YOUR DAD/U, NO MAN/WOMAN WOULD TAKE THE CHANCE OF MARRYING A DIVORCED PERSON. I REALLY REGRET FOR ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE TO MY STEP-MOM, BUT TIME CANNOT BE TURN BACK...SO ALL I CAN DO IS HOPING AND WORKING ON TO A BETTER ENDING.
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY MANY OF YOU ARE SAYING 'NO'. TO ME, I REALLY DON'T CARE MUCH. IF MY PARENTS ARE BETTER OFF DIVORCED AND MOVE ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE AND BE HAPPY, THEN I'M HAPPY FOR THEM. MY PARENTS WERE DIVORCED WHEN I WAS LIKE 8 YEARS OLD. IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE AND HAD NO ONE TO TURN TO WHEN I WAS SAD. OVER THE NEXT 10 YEARS I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE MY DAD (FOR ONE THING, HE GOT REMARRIED) AND I HATE THE FACT THAT HE WANTED ME TO ADDRESS HER MOM, TOO!!! I DID VISIT HIM BUT ONLY OVER THE SUMMER BECAUSE MY PARENTS DON'T LIVED IN THE SAME STATE. MY DAD WAS IN CA AND MY MOM WAS UP IN MN. FOR 10 YEARS, MY MOM BRAINWASHED ME DAILY OF HOW BAD OF A HUSBAND AND FATHER MY DAD WAS. SHE KEPT TELLING ME THAT MY DAD WOULD RATHER TAKE HIS NEW WIFE OVER ME. MY STEP-MOTHER IS ACTUALLY NOT MEAN LIKE MY MOM SAID. SHE'S QUIET AND CALM. DOESN'T TALK MUCH. WHILE SPENDING TIME WITH HER AND MY DAD, I REALIZED THAT MY STEP-MOTHER SORT OF DISTANT HERSELF FROM ME. NOW HITTING MY MID-20S I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY. FIRST, I REFUSED TO CALL HER 'MOM' AND IF SHE TRIED TO SIT NEAR MY DAD, I WOULD TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET HIS ATTENTION (GOT THIS IDEA FROM MY REAL MOM - NOT MY FAULT - MY REAL MOM TOLD ME TO DO THIS!) MY STEP-MOM DID BE ME LOTS OF STUFF WHENEVER SHE COULD OR HAD THE MONEY. SOMETIMES, MY MOM EVEN TOLD ME TO JUST CALLED MY DAD FOR MONEY WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE DIDN'T NEED IT. AND MY DAD PAID FULL CHILD SUPPORT - PLUS GIVING ME MONEY AND BUY ME STUFF WHENEVER.
LOOKING ALL THE OVERALL PICTURE, I SORT OF UNDERSTAND THE STORY. FIRST, I ALWAYS REMEMBERED MY PARENTS ARGUING DAYS AND NIGHTS - MY MOM REFUSED TO HELP MY DAD OUT AROUND THE HOMES AND GETTING HERSELF A JOB. SHE SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL AND MY DAD WAS AT WORK. MY DAD EVEN HAD TO DROPPED ME OFF AT SCHOOL AND PICKED ME UP - WELL, I WALKED HOME SOMETIMES
WHEN I GOT HOME FROM SCHOOL, SHE WAS STILL IN BED OR OUTSIDE ON THE PHONE. NO DINNER, NO SNACKS, NO FOOD READY. MY DAD HAD TO COOKED AND CLEANED UP AFTERWARD. OVERTIME, I GUESSED HE GOT FED UP. I REMEMBERED MY MOM ALWAYS CURSING MY DAD AND AFTER THEY DIVORCED I WOULD ASKED WHY SHE DIDN'T WANT TO WORK, SHE WOULD TELL ME SHE'S TOO OLD TO WORK - GUESS WHAT, SHE'S ONLY 44 YEARS NOW!! THAT MEANS BACK THEN SHE'S ONLY IN HER MID-20S TO 30S. SHE CALLED THAT 'OLD'???? OVERTIME, THEY BOTH AGREED ON MOVING ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE BECAUSE THEY BOTH WANTED DIFFERENCE THINGS IN LIFE. MY MOM REMAINED GOOD FRIEND WITH MY DAD BECAUSE OF ME. BOTH STARTING DATING AND SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. I WAS ABLE TO VISIT MY DAD WHENEVER AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BUT THE MINUTE MY DAD GOT INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND PROPOSED TO MY STEP-MOM, MY REAL MOM STARTED HATING MY DAD AND BRAINWASHING ME!!! SHE SAID SO MUCH SH*T ABOUT MY STEP-MOM, IT WOULD TAKE ME YEARS TO TELL YOU ALL.
MY POINT HERE IS FOLKS, IF OUR MOM AND DAD MOVED ON FOR THE BETTER REASONS, LET THEM. IT'S BETTER TO SEE THEM BOTH HAPPY THEN MISERABLE. I TOTALLY AGREED THAT I WOULD BE HECKA PISSED OFF IF MY DAD MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE WHILE STILL MARRIED TO MY MOM 'CAUSE THAT'S ADULTERY!!! AN ADVICE FOR THOSE WITH STEP-MOMS (I'M REFERRING TO THOSE WHO'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED FOR GOOD) THAT YOU MUST TRY TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TO ACCEPT YOUR STEP MOM AND WELCOME HER/HIM (STEP-DAD) INTO YOUR LIFE. IT'S MORE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM TO ADJUST TO A MAN / WOMAN WITH KID(S) ALREADY, BUT IF THEY DON'T LOVE YOUR DAD/U, NO MAN/WOMAN WOULD TAKE THE CHANCE OF MARRYING A DIVORCED PERSON. I REALLY REGRET FOR ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE TO MY STEP-MOM, BUT TIME CANNOT BE TURN BACK...SO ALL I CAN DO IS HOPING AND WORKING ON TO A BETTER ENDING.
YM_gurl
sarNie Oldmaid
oh wow...SORRY...GONNA BE LONG!!!
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY MANY OF YOU ARE SAYING 'NO'. TO ME, I REALLY DON'T CARE MUCH. IF MY PARENTS ARE BETTER OFF DIVORCED AND MOVE ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE AND BE HAPPY, THEN I'M HAPPY FOR THEM. MY PARENTS WERE DIVORCED WHEN I WAS LIKE 8 YEARS OLD. IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE AND HAD NO ONE TO TURN TO WHEN I WAS SAD. OVER THE NEXT 10 YEARS I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE MY DAD (FOR ONE THING, HE GOT REMARRIED) AND I HATE THE FACT THAT HE WANTED ME TO ADDRESS HER MOM, TOO!!! I DID VISIT HIM BUT ONLY OVER THE SUMMER BECAUSE MY PARENTS DON'T LIVED IN THE SAME STATE. MY DAD WAS IN CA AND MY MOM WAS UP IN MN. FOR 10 YEARS, MY MOM BRAINWASHED ME DAILY OF HOW BAD OF A HUSBAND AND FATHER MY DAD WAS. SHE KEPT TELLING ME THAT MY DAD WOULD RATHER TAKE HIS NEW WIFE OVER ME. MY STEP-MOTHER IS ACTUALLY NOT MEAN LIKE MY MOM SAID. SHE'S QUIET AND CALM. DOESN'T TALK MUCH. WHILE SPENDING TIME WITH HER AND MY DAD, I REALIZED THAT MY STEP-MOTHER SORT OF DISTANT HERSELF FROM ME. NOW HITTING MY MID-20S I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY. FIRST, I REFUSED TO CALL HER 'MOM' AND IF SHE TRIED TO SIT NEAR MY DAD, I WOULD TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET HIS ATTENTION (GOT THIS IDEA FROM MY REAL MOM - NOT MY FAULT - MY REAL MOM TOLD ME TO DO THIS!) MY STEP-MOM DID BE ME LOTS OF STUFF WHENEVER SHE COULD OR HAD THE MONEY. SOMETIMES, MY MOM EVEN TOLD ME TO JUST CALLED MY DAD FOR MONEY WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE DIDN'T NEED IT. AND MY DAD PAID FULL CHILD SUPPORT - PLUS GIVING ME MONEY AND BUY ME STUFF WHENEVER.
LOOKING ALL THE OVERALL PICTURE, I SORT OF UNDERSTAND THE STORY. FIRST, I ALWAYS REMEMBERED MY PARENTS ARGUING DAYS AND NIGHTS - MY MOM REFUSED TO HELP MY DAD OUT AROUND THE HOMES AND GETTING HERSELF A JOB. SHE SLEPT THE WHOLE DAY WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL AND MY DAD WAS AT WORK. MY DAD EVEN HAD TO DROPPED ME OFF AT SCHOOL AND PICKED ME UP - WELL, I WALKED HOME SOMETIMES
OVERTIME, THEY BOTH AGREED ON MOVING ON WITH THEIR OWN LIFE BECAUSE THEY BOTH WANTED DIFFERENCE THINGS IN LIFE. MY MOM REMAINED GOOD FRIEND WITH MY DAD BECAUSE OF ME. BOTH STARTING DATING AND SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. I WAS ABLE TO VISIT MY DAD WHENEVER AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BUT THE MINUTE MY DAD GOT INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND PROPOSED TO MY STEP-MOM, MY REAL MOM STARTED HATING MY DAD AND BRAINWASHING ME!!! SHE SAID SO MUCH SH*T ABOUT MY STEP-MOM, IT WOULD TAKE ME YEARS TO TELL YOU ALL.
MY POINT HERE IS FOLKS, IF OUR MOM AND DAD MOVED ON FOR THE BETTER REASONS, LET THEM. IT'S BETTER TO SEE THEM BOTH HAPPY THEN MISERABLE. I TOTALLY AGREED THAT I WOULD BE HECKA PISSED OFF IF MY DAD MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE WHILE STILL MARRIED TO MY MOM 'CAUSE THAT'S ADULTERY!!! AN ADVICE FOR THOSE WITH STEP-MOMS (I'M REFERRING TO THOSE WHO'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED FOR GOOD) THAT YOU MUST TRY TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TO ACCEPT YOUR STEP MOM AND WELCOME HER/HIM (STEP-DAD) INTO YOUR LIFE. IT'S MORE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THEM TO ADJUST TO A MAN / WOMAN WITH KID(S) ALREADY, BUT IF THEY DON'T LOVE YOUR DAD/U, NO MAN/WOMAN WOULD TAKE THE CHANCE OF MARRYING A DIVORCED PERSON. I REALLY REGRET FOR ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE TO MY STEP-MOM, BUT TIME CANNOT BE TURN BACK...SO ALL I CAN DO IS HOPING AND WORKING ON TO A BETTER ENDING.
i agree to what you said here.. sometimes its better for people to move on for things to get better.
^_^
and ur story here, i feel you. B)
a second mother? maybe, if my parents were to get a divorce and whatever...
sometimes parents just argue to the point where you wished they would just get a divorce because they argue unreasonably and about the stupidest things...i know it's taboo in the hmong culture to get a divorce but seriously, if they can't stand each other and always argue and fight, especially in front of the kids, i'll be the first one to offer them a divorce...because being the oldest, i've seen too many of the same stupid sh!t happening over and over and they don't know where or when they should stop and to do that in front of my siblings too angers me even more...but yeah......i'm not saying i would want one, but just that maybe if they were to get separated...but then again things just happen for a reason....
sometimes parents just argue to the point where you wished they would just get a divorce because they argue unreasonably and about the stupidest things...i know it's taboo in the hmong culture to get a divorce but seriously, if they can't stand each other and always argue and fight, especially in front of the kids, i'll be the first one to offer them a divorce...because being the oldest, i've seen too many of the same stupid sh!t happening over and over and they don't know where or when they should stop and to do that in front of my siblings too angers me even more...but yeah......i'm not saying i would want one, but just that maybe if they were to get separated...but then again things just happen for a reason....
AutumnStar
sarNie Egg
WELL - IF THEY CONSTANTLY ARGUED THEN IT'S ALWAYS BEST THAT THEY MOVE ON. LIFE'S TOO SHORT FOR ANYMORE TO CLINGED TO EACH JUST BECAUSE OF THE KIDS (AT LEAST, THAT'S THE MOST USED EXCUSE!) I'M GLAD THAT MY DAD'S HAVING THE BEST LIFE NOW AND IT'S GREAT TO SEE A SMILE ON HIS FACE EVERY TIME I SEE HIM.
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S SAD AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE MY MOM DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRY AGAIN. SHE STILL HOLDS HOPE FOR HER AND MY FATHER BUT I TRY TO TELL HER EVERY TIME I SEE HER THAT MY FATHER IS NOT COMING BACK TO HER AND SHE NEEDS TO MOVE ON. YOU ALL PROBABLY WONDERED WHY I SAY SUCH THING - HERE'S WHY - EVEN NOWADAYS, EVERY TIME MY MOM OR MY DAD TALK IT STILL ALWAYS LEAD TO AN ARGUMENT! FOR INSTANCE, A MONTH AGO MY MOTHER CALLED MY DAD WANTED HIM TO DROP OFF SOME PICTURES THAT HE (AND ONLY HIM) HAD OF ME WHEN I WAS A BABY, SHE PREFERRED HIM GO ALONG! MY STEP-MOM TOLD MY DAD THAT IT WAS OKAY WITH HER, BUT MY FATHER REFUSED TO GO WITHOUT. MY REAL MOM CALLED AND STARTING B*TCHING AT HIM!
FOR ALL YOU YOUNGSTERS, NOT ALL STEP-MOTHERS ARE EVIL! GROWING UP, WE'RE ALL EXPOSED TO THE STORY CINDERELLA AND IT PORTRAYED THE STEP-MOTHER AS AN EVIL PERSON, BUT IF YOU LEARNED UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S FOR THE BETTER OF YOUR PARENTS (EVEN IF IT'S ONE OF YOUR PARENTS) AND ACCEPT YOUR NEW MOM WITH RESPECT, THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE GREAT.
DON'T JUDGE MOST STEP-MOTHERS YET - GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!
ONE MORE THING: CHEATING IS A DIFFERENT STORY HERE, BUT IF MY PARENTS DIVORCED BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES THEY LATER LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER (ESPECIALLY AFTER MARRIED & HAVE KIDS) THEN I'M HAPPY FOR BOTH! I WOULD RATHER SEE THEM HAPPY...IF NOT BOTH, AT LEAST ONE!
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S SAD AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE MY MOM DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRY AGAIN. SHE STILL HOLDS HOPE FOR HER AND MY FATHER
BUT I TRY TO TELL HER EVERY TIME I SEE HER THAT MY FATHER IS NOT COMING BACK TO HER AND SHE NEEDS TO MOVE ON. YOU ALL PROBABLY WONDERED WHY I SAY SUCH THING - HERE'S WHY - EVEN NOWADAYS, EVERY TIME MY MOM OR MY DAD TALK IT STILL ALWAYS LEAD TO AN ARGUMENT! FOR INSTANCE, A MONTH AGO MY MOTHER CALLED MY DAD WANTED HIM TO DROP OFF SOME PICTURES THAT HE (AND ONLY HIM) HAD OF ME WHEN I WAS A BABY, SHE PREFERRED HIM GO ALONG! MY STEP-MOM TOLD MY DAD THAT IT WAS OKAY WITH HER, BUT MY FATHER REFUSED TO GO WITHOUT. MY REAL MOM CALLED AND STARTING B*TCHING AT HIM! FOR ALL YOU YOUNGSTERS, NOT ALL STEP-MOTHERS ARE EVIL! GROWING UP, WE'RE ALL EXPOSED TO THE STORY CINDERELLA AND IT PORTRAYED THE STEP-MOTHER AS AN EVIL PERSON, BUT IF YOU LEARNED UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S FOR THE BETTER OF YOUR PARENTS (EVEN IF IT'S ONE OF YOUR PARENTS) AND ACCEPT YOUR NEW MOM WITH RESPECT, THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE GREAT.
DON'T JUDGE MOST STEP-MOTHERS YET - GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!
ONE MORE THING: CHEATING IS A DIFFERENT STORY HERE, BUT IF MY PARENTS DIVORCED BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES THEY LATER LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER (ESPECIALLY AFTER MARRIED & HAVE KIDS) THEN I'M HAPPY FOR BOTH! I WOULD RATHER SEE THEM HAPPY...IF NOT BOTH, AT LEAST ONE!