What if I really like this guy?

[SonYukView4ever]

I know he has crushed me for 2 and 1/2 years, but due to school I've been ignoring him like never even caring for him. I think I could have hurt him, but at this point I realize that I do like him. I don't know if it's too late now to approach and ask him or not. All I could wish for is that he would forgive me for ignoring him the whole time. Should I still ask him if he likes me or not? Should I? What should I do if he rejects me? Is it considered losing face? Should I just move on if he says no? I think I'm a very low self-esteem person. If I were a big tougher than this then I would definitely do better. Also, I think I'm the type of person that can't accept negative criticism from people especially when it's not even true. Sometimes, I trying to figure out why I am like this and could have it been due to irresponsible and low self-esteem father? Let me hear you out.

 

[Thookatha]

if you really like someone, you must approach them...no matter what the answer might be. ask yourself if he is worth your "losing face". either way, there will always be some kind of rejection in relationships (even if ur not in it yet)...and unless u plan on being alone. low self-esteem is just an excuse for lazy people. lol jk but just understand that letting someone else solely pursue you might make you miss the right match. cuz maybe the "right person" is someone who is just as shy as you are.

i say, unless a guy is taken, everything is fair game and anything is possible. despite how weird you feel or how hard it may be, you have to learn to take that chance...or else you will never find the right person. just figure out if he still seems interested, then gradually start to show him you're interested. tease him and joke around with him like a giddy little school girl. lmao if he's not into the giddy school girl thing, figure it out. you've known him for at least two and half years. that's advantageous on your part.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

This is a tough one but I think the one sentence advice would be talk to him and see if he still feels the same -.-"

 

[mainhiathao]

aww that happens to me during 7th n 8th grade....

 

[7270]

i liked a girl a few years ago. she sounds a lot like you. she ignored me, too! then now, she's back in my life, and through the grapevine, it seems she likes me. personally, i'm very cautious around her. i NEVER hang out with her 1-1 since then. when she asks, i always bring other people along. i just don't want to fall for her again. having someone you like ignore you for whatever reason hurts, but i'm not upset with her about it. there are more important things like school, goals, etc.... i'm just cautious. it would take a lot for me to trust my feelings with her.

i trust her, but i just don't trust myself to become attached to her. get what i mean? if she was to talk to me about it, i'd disappear. i'm hoping your dude is different.

for you, i would advise just being friends with him. hang out together a lot more and see how it goes. things may take time, but eventually, it'll work out. just have fun and enjoy yourself in his company. don't think too much.

 

[SonYukView4ever]

i liked a girl a few years ago. she sounds a lot like you. she ignored me, too! then now, she's back in my life, and through the grapevine, it seems she likes me. personally, i'm very cautious around her. i NEVER hang out with her 1-1 since then. when she asks, i always bring other people along. i just don't want to fall for her again. having someone you like ignore you for whatever reason hurts, but i'm not upset with her about it. there are more important things like school, goals, etc.... i'm just cautious. it would take a lot for me to trust my feelings with her.

i trust her, but i just don't trust myself to become attached to her. get what i mean? if she was to talk to me about it, i'd disappear. i'm hoping your dude is different.

for you, i would advise just being friends with him. hang out together a lot more and see how it goes. things may take time, but eventually, it'll work out. just have fun and enjoy yourself in his company. don't think too much.

really?
does the girl u like goes to same school?
u don't want to be with her anymore or wat?
u don't like her?

haha, i hope mine is different lol

 

[7270]

even if yours isn't different, you don't have to worry. it'll just take time. so chill. it'll be ok.

we don't go to the same school anymore, but we hang out in the same social circle which makes it hard to avoid her. it's not that i don't like or don't want her, although maybe i don't want her. hm.... it's just that, like i said, i was pretty hurt by her before. so i'm just *cautious* about her... as in i wouldn't open up my heart to her very easily. plus, i'm seeing other girls, too. so when i compare her to them, it's errr... hm....

well, imagine if some dude you liked ignored you for whatever reason. you got over him. there are other guys who are interested in you, conveys their interest in you, are good looking, etc... and then this dude who broke your heart came back to you... what would you do? tell me you wouldn't just run to him.

 

[SonYukView4ever]

wow,
i don't know.
i guess i never thought of that.
all i ever had in mind was yes if he ever comes back of course i will for sure get to know him again.
who knows, he might be the right one.

but to be honest with u, it's really sad how u put it that way.
i never thought of it as that.
it does hurt.
it really hurts.
u know, i think i am a really stupid girl.
i never dated so i don't know.

u know wat, listening to a guy's point of view has definitely open my eyes up for something that i never seen before.
all my life i grew up listening to girls and hanging out with girls so i never knew what it's like to be around guys.
bc my dad is a very abusive and violent person that i don't even know how to approach guys.
yes, i knew i liked that guy and he liked me, but i never knew how to approach him so i just went my way and he went on his way.

however, i knew he still liked me at the beginning of the semester, but again i broke his heart by ignoring him and acting like i had no idea who he is.
i can not believe how inhuman i have treated him.
i am stupid. so stupid.
i have myself.
i can't believe i can hurt someone so much.

if only i learned to love myself then one day i can love him better.
if he returns, we're meant to be.
if not, i guess we're not.

thanks for sharing ur ideas and thoughts.
i highly appreciate it.

 

[Thookatha]

7270 is right. after so many years of not acknowledging him, you gotta take it slow. put yourself in his shoes and think about what it feels like to not be noticed. it's probably much better to show him through friendship. if you two are meant to be, you're meant to be. at least this way, he will understand your point of view a little better.

either way, you have to talk to him and approach him....especially if he means something to you. you're not a bad person, and you're not stupid. you're just naive...which is sweet and innocent. it is a very rare quality to find in girls these days. like you said, you didn't truly understand yourself. how could you expect to take in another person?

use what you know about him to approach him. all people (not just guys) are different. good luck.

 

[7270]

if he returns? the heck? he left already?

j/k. i'm sure he's still in your midst. just take it slow. no hurry. let the guy get to know you. pretend he's a girl if it's easier. the thing is he won't return, if you don't put yourself out there more. after all, everyone is afraid of getting hurt. you two have to make steps toward each other instead of away from now on.

don't feel too guilty about the past. you wanted to focus on your studies which is ideal. having experiences like that will only make the dude stronger. he can't control what people do to him. no one can, but he can learn from them. best to you.

ETA: this just came to mind. you also want to go slowly on this just in case your dude is vindictive. i'm hoping he's not. some of my guy friends, when they felt a girl burned them and when she came back, they burned her by acting like they wanted her back, screwed her & acted like she didn't exist the next moment or the next morning. i'm sorry to say, but it happens.

 

[Mya]

I had a similar situation happen to me. I liked this guy and could tell that he also had a crush on me. But I decided to put my studies first and ignored him. :mellow: Turns out he got tired of waiting and found himself another girl. I was sad for awhile and regretted not taking a chance on him, but time does heal all things. My advice is if you really like the guy, take the chance. Why not? If he says No, then you should totally understand because you did hurt him a lot by ignoring him. Give him time and prove to him that you've changed your mind.

 

[SonYukView4ever]

I had a similar situation happen to me. I liked this guy and could tell that he also had a crush on me. But I decided to put my studies first and ignored him. :mellow: Turns out he got tired of waiting and found himself another girl. I was sad for awhile and regretted not taking a chance on him, but time does heal all things. My advice is if you really like the guy, take the chance. Why not? If he says No, then you should totally understand because you did hurt him a lot by ignoring him. Give him time and prove to him that you've changed your mind.

u made a good point.
in the reality, i did hurt him intentionally or not.
i made him wait 2 -3 years and shit i did nothing.
he has every right to deny me. lol
actually, i confessed and he told me straight out he doesn't like me.
he only likes me as a friend.
that we are two different people.

i was completely upset.
i could believe that such a nice guy could deny me.
i almost cried.
i couldn't sleep that night.
i wanted to explain things to him.
he wouldn't listen now.
i've been the most ignorant human on for all this while to avoid.
he has every right to deny me.

he denied me.
denied me.
but waht he didn't understand was where i was coming from.
why i chose to put school first.
he did.
he observed and knew me from the outside only.
i can assure my feelings for him have increased.
but at this point, he completely turned me off. =(
i told myself i can do better.
it will eventually heal.
it will.
and this is a great lesson i've learned.
from now on, i must be more considerate of people's feelings.
i have too otherwise i might just end up hurting not just myself, but him as well.

and this pertain to my health negatively.
thanks to everyone here for listening to me.
for at least paying attention to me.

finally, i can still confess that i still like him and will still grow to like and love him but he denied me so i can't do anything anymore.
he has completely abandoned and ignored me.
SAD!
but this is the truth and the reality.

 

[Thookatha]

what did u say? did u straight up tell him you liked him more than just friends? sweetheart, that's not really taking it slow... :blink:

 

[SonYukView4ever]

oh no,
i didn't.
i asked him if he wanted to have lunch with me.
then i also said i wanted to get to know him better.

and he straight out told me he only likes me as a friend.
he said i was very nice and etc....but we are two different people.
i was so hurt inside.
a pain i had never felt before.
he was indeed a man i like.
but he rejected me whole-heartedly.
gosh, i am so pale and weak now.
darkness is encountering me.
wat should i do?

i cannot stay focus in school.
besides that, there's family dramas at home as well.

i hurt myself only and yet i'm still hurting.

please help me.

 

[Thookatha]

you should have told him that he was jumping to the wrong conclusions then. lol

i'm sorry it didn't work out.

 

[SonYukView4ever]

*crying*

 

[Thookatha]

awww...don't be so sad. you were VERY brave to even approach him. that's really hard to do. and you're still young. there are plenty of fishies out in the sea. plus, what if it turns out your guy interest is a player or a jerk? you would be upset over something even worst. you know what really cheers me up every time i feel bad? LAKORNS!! and if there are no good lakorns, i would turn on good lakorn songs and sing/learn it. ahahaha

 

[SonYukView4ever]

thats so true.
today i went to church and i felt better.
i have a really good friend.
she invited to join her.
i did.
it was the best time so far since my break up with him.

but yea,
maybe i have to move on.
i have to.
he's not the only one.
there are plenty of fishes out in the sea. hehe
it's just that i believe he and i have a lot in common.
he believes in god.
he's a good person.
maybe, he has only been washed by his friends.
=(

"It will all get better in time"

 

[Mya]

Yep, the hard part is waiting for time to heal the pain.

And believe me, you will get over him. Regarding the guy I was talking about in my earlier post, when I think about him today, I'm like, "Did I really feel that way towards him??? How weird." Trust me, you will meet new guys who will make you forget about him!

 

[dreams_x]

k will idk if tis is the rite categorization but do u guys think i should ask tis one
guy i really lik out to prom?