relatives liking each other

[stephanie]

so my dad's 1st cousin's brother in law has a thing for me and i just find it really uncomfotable! does any one else have a smiliar situation? it just really disturbs me when relatives like each other (probaby cuz i'm so white wash).also, i live in a small community of hmong ppl and they're all dating each other, which i find very disturbing. would u find it disturbing???

 

[ddawbb]

If you've been in school (even highschool biology) you should know about genetics already.. SO. if I were you, I'd stay away from close relatives.

 

[greenapple2]

I can't quiet figure the relationship out, your dad's 1st cousin's brother in law? unless there are other connection, he's not really related (as in blood) to your dad except the "in-law" connection. still, i see your point about relatives liking each other, however, we're hmong so we basically know each other some way or another through close or distant connections.

 

[stephanie]

I can't quiet figure the relationship out, your dad's 1st cousin's brother in law? unless there are other connection, he's not really related (as in blood) to your dad except the "in-law" connection. still, i see your point about relatives liking each other, however, we're hmong so we basically know each other some way or another through close or distant connections.

i guess he'll be my 2nd cousins in law. but yea. and also my other 2nd cousins husbands 1st cousin... it's confusing. lol... i agree with wht u said about the connections. ha ha!

 

[YM_gurl]

if you two didnt grow up together than its ok i guess.

hmong people these days knows each other some way or the other.. lolz..
at least u don't taboo then its ok. hahaha.. but for me, i wouldn't. first cousin. that's too close.
if you marry your cousin then you wont have anymore cousins. hahaa

 

[tavang]

I can't quiet figure the relationship out, your dad's 1st cousin's brother in law? unless there are other connection, he's not really related (as in blood) to your dad except the "in-law" connection. still, i see your point about relatives liking each other, however, we're hmong so we basically know each other some way or another through close or distant connections.

i agree with you. hmong people are related one way or another

 

[mainhiathao]

mostly hmong peeps with same last name is relative to each other...somehow...like great parents..

 

[nothinghill]

so my dad's 1st cousin's brother in law has a thing for me and i just find it really uncomfotable! does any one else have a smiliar situation? it just really disturbs me when relatives like each other (probaby cuz i'm so white wash).also, i live in a small community of hmong ppl and they're all dating each other, which i find very disturbing. would u find it disturbing???

ACTUALLLY, I DON'T SEE ANY RELATIONSHIP BTWN U AND HIM AT ALL. SOMEONE MENTIONED "IN-LAW." THAT'S WAY DOWN THE LINE...YOU'RE IN NO WAY RELATED TO HIM....(GENETICALLY)....

 

[dorkymc]

haha! i think that you don't like him... if you like him.. you won't care... remember, in hmong belief... yu can marry your mom's brother son... huh... that mean your first cousin... this has been done for generation... looks like the dud who likes you is not even related to you... so don't be so whitewash... give the poor guy a chance... =)

 

[nkaujhmooblauj]

hmong people think they are all related to eachother.. even if they are not..
they will interrogate the other person and try to find a way to relate themselves to eachother..
i hate it when my parents do that..
"oh.. you are related to this person? well, i'm this and that to them... so you are my whatever.."
sheesh!! stop wanting to be related... lolz.

 

[sillyme]

so my dad's 1st cousin's brother in law has a thing for me and i just find it really uncomfotable! does any one else have a smiliar situation? it just really disturbs me when relatives like each other (probaby cuz i'm so white wash).also, i live in a small community of hmong ppl and they're all dating each other, which i find very disturbing. would u find it disturbing???

i totally feel ya if he;s trying too hard ;]

 

[tearsofautumn]

Personally for me, that would be a "oh hell NO"...."he must be on something or not in his right mind". I dont find liking, dating, or loving anyone close to me (relatives from mom or dad's side) a romantic relationship or discovering a passionate love for them. I rather we stay as cousins, brothers and sisters, or friends....no more then that even if we grew up together or not....limited the line. If we all just married relatives....stay within the family, then who will we turn to for help when the marriage is hanging on by a thread? We can't turn to families cause we are the families and outsiders cant help either cause its all in the family. I think i would need some room and space so i can sort things out when i need to and families won't be torn a part cause of other family members. Family is family....they are always there and no one else in the world can replace them...for better or for worst. So, don't cross that line...stay on one side....no matter what, forever.

This maybe weird for some of you guys or not, but i have never ever dated any of my cousins or friends friends and cousins...not even my best friend's brothers or her cousins. I draw the line to my friendship with her and dating anyone in her family...i rather just be her good friend with no weird and strange moments between us. That's just how i am....keep it clean, fresh, and friendly!!

 

[Mae]

i guess he'll be my 2nd cousins in law. but yea. and also my other 2nd cousins husbands 1st cousin... it's confusing. lol... i agree with wht u said about the connections. ha ha!

Sorry sister. I ain't following you at all with this whole related family thing--i'm confused by it and would need a family tree or something! But from what I can gather I see no blood relation.

 

[Jieb_Lover]

This is confusing. I wouldn't mind dating my own cousin though, that's if he's not a close one though =)

 

[mmm0403]

Puag thaum ub peb los ntawv ib tug niam ib tug txiv xwb. If you don't want to marry anyone related to you, I think you should fine someone who is not Hmong.

 

[jjinxx]

if it makes you feel uncomfortable then, yeah, it's not right... i don't know if that sounds right, but to me it does. i'm saying if there's one of you who is not into the feeling then it's not right...but if both people are mutual about it, then it's ok...

For me personally:
If i didn't grow up with that person, i probably wouldn't mind liking them that way so much but if we grew up together and it's like a brother/sister relationship then i would not like to go there.... and as long as it's not REAL CLOSE blood relation, like first cousins...

I don't know, i asked my mom about that when i was watching a movie and i was actually satisfied with the answer: Hmong people marry within family because they know each other and have confidence that that person will love and take care of YOU and YOUR family too...
I mean, that won't ALWAYS be the case of course (there are plenty of cruel people out there) but, idk, it's just culture...

 

[Fearless]

haha! i think that you don't like him... if you like him.. you won't care... remember, in hmong belief... yu can marry your mom's brother son... huh... that mean your first cousin... this has been done for generation... looks like the dud who likes you is not even related to you... so don't be so whitewash... give the poor guy a chance... =)

To correct you, if you marry your mom's brother son then he's your second cousin. You can't marry your first cousin because you guys share the same last name.

 

[ceda_lee]

Ew...this topic brings back bad bad bad memories.

A distant uncle had the biggest crush on me. Thank goodness, I moved away.