mystery_writer
sarNie Egg
:blush: i've been like this for a year now.. ive been making up stories and was always creating scenes in my :drool: head .... like a movie ( drama) haha
well anywase i was writing one so i was just wondering if i can get some help and advice to make it better...
sry this may be long...
Title: _______
characters so far
main girl: May
Descriptions: highschool senior girl, she is very poor and lives with her mother, she is consider average looking, she likes to be tough and likes to bully others, but she is really sweet and nice on the inside, she just don't like to show her weak vulnerable side, she loves to draw, she works at a candy shop after school to get money, she loves bubble gum and lollipops. She has only one friend, her best friend, faye.
main guy: leng
Descriptions: Rich, popular,handsome, and tough guy. Flirts with all the PRETTY girls on campus. All the girls love him. He is cocky and trys to impress others. He is a neat freak and a mommy's boy( which no one knows ). Has lots of friends.
Faye: May's best friend
Description: Cute,Beautiful, and sweet girl. She is average, not poor or rich. Her mother owns the candy shop in which May works at. May and Faye are the total opposite, but anyone can get along with Faye. Faye helps others and is really bright. She helps May out but tries to keep May out of trouble.
Ue: A mean, rich, beautiful,smart girl who has only one thing on her mind, to get Leng in love with her, which we all know he is already falling for her.
well this is not the beginning , im still constructing putting the beginning together" but it's near the beginning and im finished with this part.
The part where boy meets girl " haha
May remembered that it was her mother's birthday. Since school haven't started yet, she rushed to get her work money from her locker, but the money was missing. Faye later told May that she had seen a girl near May's locker, the girl had shortish hair and was wearing a black coat. May immediatly thought that she was going to go kick that other girl's ass for taking her money! She rushed to her locker when she saw a girl, with shortish hair and a black coat, but the girl's back was towards May so she didnt see her face. Being angry May went and punch the girl.
( May is imagining that she is beating the girl up and happilly getting her money back. )
which when she zoomed back into reality the girl wasnt a girl! It was leng! Leng had longish hair and was wearing a black coat too! He held her hand and yelled at her. Leng" Hey! Why are you hitting me for no reason, you crazy lady!" And your hit is really weak, did you know that?!" May thinking in her head" it's your fault you look like a girl! besides i'm really strong you idiot!!...." Leng looked away for a sec, than Leng yelled " you're the idiot! May thinking" he...he can read my mind!?? Leng said "yes i can" May shocked* than he said "Bye" Leng pulled out the ear device and said " stupid friends" and looked at May... He said" EY! why aren't you saying anything!? His face got closed to May and he was breathing at her... Are you.. are you mute? deaf?...(May immediatly sighed with relief that he couldnt read her mind ,she felt so stupid) she yelled let me go! Leng let go of her harshly and she fell to the ground. May got up and said " WHAT!? you wanna fight?! Leng laughed and walked away while saying " I don't really care if you're a girl or not", next time i will really hurt you, besides are you even a girl?" he laughed
May knew that he was saying that she was ugly..... she was really hurt....she popped a gum in her mouth and walked away with tears in her eyes....
next scene: May was angry and fustrated that her money is missing ! and if it wasnt stolen from that guy that looked kinda like a girl than who wouldve stole it...(Faye ran quickly breathing heavily) Faye:" i know..i know who stole your money!" Faye grabbed May's hand and they rushed to class B. There standing near a desk was Ue. She laughed and said " i was just playing a joke on you May"." May next time don't ever go near Leng again" May ran and grabbed the envelope in which she put her money in. But before she could get a hold of it , Ue ripped it and the money was ripped too. A tear slid on May"s Cheek. She got her hands ready and punched Ue once. Everyone was screaming and rooting , FIGHT!!FIGHT!! But Faye was trying to stop May from all of this. When May raised her hand again to beat Ue, A strong hand held on to hers, it almost felt like.... LENG's hand! It was Leng's hand he said" why are you doing this again crazy lady?"(Leng was smiling at all the girl and was hoping that they all thought that he was so heroic") May got angry and yelled" it's none of your business" But Leng said oh yes it is...... you are hitting my girl" Everyone was shocked. Than Leng's friend said "Lady, if you don't want to get into trouble just leave them alone" May was wondering why everyone was against her. Faye grabbed May's hand and rushed out. Faye: what are you doing May you couldve been injured badly" May said" i don't care!" besides i was never ever near Leng until i knew that someone stole my money, so what was she(Ue) talking about?"Faye: Earlier Ue had said that she saw you holding on to Leng's hand"May: heh, she got the wrong person.....i just wanted my money back so i could buy a decent presnt for my mother.... Faye gave some money and put it in May's hand" you couldve asked"... May: "it's not the same... i worked hard for it".... May popped another gum in her mouth..... she only had one thing in her mind....... REVENGE!
well anywase i was writing one so i was just wondering if i can get some help and advice to make it better...
sry this may be long...
Title: _______
characters so far
main girl: May
Descriptions: highschool senior girl, she is very poor and lives with her mother, she is consider average looking, she likes to be tough and likes to bully others, but she is really sweet and nice on the inside, she just don't like to show her weak vulnerable side, she loves to draw, she works at a candy shop after school to get money, she loves bubble gum and lollipops. She has only one friend, her best friend, faye.
main guy: leng
Descriptions: Rich, popular,handsome, and tough guy. Flirts with all the PRETTY girls on campus. All the girls love him. He is cocky and trys to impress others. He is a neat freak and a mommy's boy( which no one knows ). Has lots of friends.
Faye: May's best friend
Description: Cute,Beautiful, and sweet girl. She is average, not poor or rich. Her mother owns the candy shop in which May works at. May and Faye are the total opposite, but anyone can get along with Faye. Faye helps others and is really bright. She helps May out but tries to keep May out of trouble.
Ue: A mean, rich, beautiful,smart girl who has only one thing on her mind, to get Leng in love with her, which we all know he is already falling for her.
well this is not the beginning , im still constructing putting the beginning together" but it's near the beginning and im finished with this part.
The part where boy meets girl " haha
May remembered that it was her mother's birthday. Since school haven't started yet, she rushed to get her work money from her locker, but the money was missing. Faye later told May that she had seen a girl near May's locker, the girl had shortish hair and was wearing a black coat. May immediatly thought that she was going to go kick that other girl's ass for taking her money! She rushed to her locker when she saw a girl, with shortish hair and a black coat, but the girl's back was towards May so she didnt see her face. Being angry May went and punch the girl.
( May is imagining that she is beating the girl up and happilly getting her money back. )
which when she zoomed back into reality the girl wasnt a girl! It was leng! Leng had longish hair and was wearing a black coat too! He held her hand and yelled at her. Leng" Hey! Why are you hitting me for no reason, you crazy lady!" And your hit is really weak, did you know that?!" May thinking in her head" it's your fault you look like a girl! besides i'm really strong you idiot!!...." Leng looked away for a sec, than Leng yelled " you're the idiot! May thinking" he...he can read my mind!?? Leng said "yes i can" May shocked* than he said "Bye" Leng pulled out the ear device and said " stupid friends" and looked at May... He said" EY! why aren't you saying anything!? His face got closed to May and he was breathing at her... Are you.. are you mute? deaf?...(May immediatly sighed with relief that he couldnt read her mind ,she felt so stupid) she yelled let me go! Leng let go of her harshly and she fell to the ground. May got up and said " WHAT!? you wanna fight?! Leng laughed and walked away while saying " I don't really care if you're a girl or not", next time i will really hurt you, besides are you even a girl?" he laughed
May knew that he was saying that she was ugly..... she was really hurt....she popped a gum in her mouth and walked away with tears in her eyes....
next scene: May was angry and fustrated that her money is missing ! and if it wasnt stolen from that guy that looked kinda like a girl than who wouldve stole it...(Faye ran quickly breathing heavily) Faye:" i know..i know who stole your money!" Faye grabbed May's hand and they rushed to class B. There standing near a desk was Ue. She laughed and said " i was just playing a joke on you May"." May next time don't ever go near Leng again" May ran and grabbed the envelope in which she put her money in. But before she could get a hold of it , Ue ripped it and the money was ripped too. A tear slid on May"s Cheek. She got her hands ready and punched Ue once. Everyone was screaming and rooting , FIGHT!!FIGHT!! But Faye was trying to stop May from all of this. When May raised her hand again to beat Ue, A strong hand held on to hers, it almost felt like.... LENG's hand! It was Leng's hand he said" why are you doing this again crazy lady?"(Leng was smiling at all the girl and was hoping that they all thought that he was so heroic") May got angry and yelled" it's none of your business" But Leng said oh yes it is...... you are hitting my girl" Everyone was shocked. Than Leng's friend said "Lady, if you don't want to get into trouble just leave them alone" May was wondering why everyone was against her. Faye grabbed May's hand and rushed out. Faye: what are you doing May you couldve been injured badly" May said" i don't care!" besides i was never ever near Leng until i knew that someone stole my money, so what was she(Ue) talking about?"Faye: Earlier Ue had said that she saw you holding on to Leng's hand"May: heh, she got the wrong person.....i just wanted my money back so i could buy a decent presnt for my mother.... Faye gave some money and put it in May's hand" you couldve asked"... May: "it's not the same... i worked hard for it".... May popped another gum in her mouth..... she only had one thing in her mind....... REVENGE!
