family issue

[YM_gurl]

Help please. what's my role? what should i do?

I have a sister, she's 19 yrs old. (but doesnt act like 19 but 10. doesnt have any bills besides her credit card. doesnt pay for her cell phone
but just recently gotten her license.)

Ever since my mom got sick && since she met
her bf about a year ago. she been wanting to do
everything her way. when she gets mad at anyone. (her bf, my mom, me, anyone)
She takes off && leaves no matter what day it is..nite or day. She'd done this to me once when she got mad at her bf.
i went after her && park my car on the side of the road & told her to get inside. She told me
to Fuck off. i mean, i wasnt even the one who got her mad. WTF. anyways i couldve gotten a ticket.
And there was a second time too, that she was mad at her bf. she started crying && blame on her bf &&
wouldnt go home.

As a older sister, i lectured her time to time because i care about her. i want her to stop running away,
when she gets mad.

And just last night, she went crazy because my little sister did something to her bf's laptop charger.

She went off & told my two little sisters to fuck off or she will kill them for sleeping in her room.
my mom lecture her. And she was going to leave && it was around 9pm.

I went and pin her down and scolded her. She kicked me && i punch her in the leg and shoulder & told her to
stop acting crazy. My parents watched us, as if we were 10. Was that wrong to do? im just so fed up these days.


And she message me on myspace && told me the scratches && bruises she got from us. she wont let them heal easily && let us
get away with it but she will make us feel sorry someday. We are her family!! WTF.

I dont understand. Is this my family's fault, me or my sister. im so frustrated! need some advice.

Note: My family is some what traditional. As a girl, you cannot leave until you are married.

 

[Maya_Fantasy]

Seems like she is the one with the problems. So if she really wanted to leave, let her leave and see if she can take care of herself better than the family taking care of her. She's 19, so let her go and see how she fair in the World without love and support of a family. She can't just take off whenever she feel like it or piss off at someone.
Sometime tough love is the best solutions to a problem. You and your family just have to be strong and let her go and not give in to her childish ways of acting. She will see that not everyone will take her crap like you guys put up with her all these years, then she will crawl back and see how good she has it.

 

[noungning]

it's like that... because she feels she has her bf and nothing else matters in life but him... yeah let her go, when he walks away from her ass, she will know she has no one. sometimes she needs a life to smack her in the face because a punch in the face is too soft.

 

[thai-lakorn-fan-forever]

hmm...the black sheep of the family huh? my family has a similar problem, but what can we do? oh well...

 

[Azlisakhmer]

I would jus let her be she will learn that you guys will always be there when she needs it

 

[te_1_n_only_me]

I don't think you should leave her a lone cuz i have a cousin who is like a little sis to me. In my family, boys outnumber girls because for some reason it is hard for them conceive girls. None of us have sisters so there are five of us and we consider each other sisters. Growing up we were tight as can be, but my cousin who is the youngest out of all of us, started to separate herself, either we were doing things that she couldn't do cuz she look like a little kid and underage or something happen, we don't noe. She has the most attitude and is the most fiercest in the group. It wasn't toward us but to outsiders (we all have different personality and would joke around about who each of us were) . We started to notice that something wasn't right, but we kept saying that it would pass, but it seem to have gotten worst and we were walking on eggshells around her. She neva said anything was wrong and we neva probe any deeper. It came to a time where we would either lose her forever or we would have to try and amend it, whatever the problem was. We love her too much to not do anything. There were a lot of issue that we knew she had to deal with, but it was nothing that we could do personally to fix it. All we did was guess and speculate. It came to a point that I believe she was bipolar and that she was going through depression. Let just said, what we thought was wrong with her was correct to a certain degree, but what we neva knew, surprised us big time. Issue that was way over our head. Issue that I will kill, stab someone, issue. Boyfriend issue too. When she get mad at her boyfriend, she would cut herself (we didn't noe or notice the cut until our last confrontation she finally told us everything). Mad at the slightest things and sometimes acting childish like a nine year old when she was actually seventeen. We neva gave up, even when we were like there is no hope, and because of our love for each other we were able to bring her back from whatever hell place she went to. It been a year now and everything couldn't have been better, we're not the same like before cuz things happen that can't be erased and each and every one of us knows that and we know that no matter what, we ALWAYS have each other back (something the youngest one forgot, but we jog her memory and so she won't forget again we inscribed it into her heart.) I know how you feel cuz this was going on for like five years. I hope you find your answer and the best of luck to you. It won't be easy.

 

[7270]

girl sounds spoiled. if she leaves, just don't chase after her and try to act indifferent. if she DISRESPECTS the family by hitting any of the siblings for no reason, next time she leaves, add an extra inside lock. she should learn that there are consequences for her actions even though the family loves her. you guys have to help prepare her for the world outside family.

you guys will have to set better limits for her. since she's 19, make her pay rent and for her own food in the house or something. have her do chores, IF she wants things her way. AS LONG AS she is living under your parents roof for FREE, she best abide by the house rules.

she'll continue acting like a baby, if you guys treat her that way. talk to her, but don't ever force her to do anything via physical means.