DOES THiS MAKE ME A BAD PERSON?

[~Sandy~]

Maybe she is having problems, but don't want to tell you, because you may come back to say "i told you so", and she might not want to hear. So to get away from her problems, she finds the person she thinks that could keep her mind off and get away from her issues. So she wants to hang out with you again, maybe she just misses that friendship you two had. I don't think she was asking you to like her BF or hang out with him. It's just you and her, hanging out. Just my opinion....

No, you're not a bad person for not wanting to, but let her know.

 

[fun]

My friends and I were very close, every since college started, we all haven't spoke in awhile. I have my other friends who attends the same college, well one in particular since I see her daily in class except Friday, ever since she started dating, she would always talk on the phone. So during break, she is always on the phone with him. I met him once, well just a glance, she didn't invite me to go along with them, though I didn't, but it would have been nice "hey you want to hang." Anyways, I have been skipping class and I don't hang with her as much, she calls and asked "why don't I go to class." I told her "I didn't need to, I will go when there is a quiz or test." She says, "she is lonely during breaks." And I am thinking WTF, she had ignored me ever since she started talking to that guy. so I ignored her, but we are still cool. I don't think this was helpful by reading my long experience but I feel you.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

Maybe she is having problems, but don't want to tell you, because you may come back to say "i told you so", and she might not want to hear. So to get away from her problems, she finds the person she thinks that could keep her mind off and get away from her issues. So she wants to hang out with you again, maybe she just misses that friendship you two had. I don't think she was asking you to like her BF or hang out with him. It's just you and her, hanging out. Just my opinion....

No, you're not a bad person for not wanting to, but let her know.

SHE'S A VERY SENSATiVE PERSON. ANYTHiNG THAT YOU SAY TO HER [EVEN iF IT'S A JOKE] SHE TAKES iT SERiOUSLY. SHE SAYS SHE MiSSES ME & MiSS HANGiNG OUT & ALL BUT i REALLY DONT BELiEVE THAT. SHE ONLY VENTS ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND WHENEVER SHE'S WiTH ME. BUT ONCE THEY PATCH THiNGS UP, i DONT EXiST ANYMORE. SHE'S DONE THiS TO ME MANY TiMES BEORE & NOW i JUST KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HER THE NEXT TiME SHE CALLS ME OR ASK ME TO GO OUT WiTH HER.

 

[khunyingmayuree]

Nong ja...it's okay to feel this way, we call it human nature or emotions. just don't show them that you are feeling this way on the outside, because appearance is everything, it doesn't matter if you feel like jumpin off the bridge but don't show them, i honestly think that if you allow a man to treat you this way, is because it's your fault. take care of the situation and say F you. take care.

 

[~Sandy~]

SHE'S A VERY SENSATiVE PERSON. ANYTHiNG THAT YOU SAY TO HER [EVEN iF IT'S A JOKE] SHE TAKES iT SERiOUSLY. SHE SAYS SHE MiSSES ME & MiSS HANGiNG OUT & ALL BUT i REALLY DONT BELiEVE THAT. SHE ONLY VENTS ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND WHENEVER SHE'S WiTH ME. BUT ONCE THEY PATCH THiNGS UP, i DONT EXiST ANYMORE. SHE'S DONE THiS TO ME MANY TiMES BEORE & NOW i JUST KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HER THE NEXT TiME SHE CALLS ME OR ASK ME TO GO OUT WiTH HER.

No i totally understand. It comes to a point where you'll have to say "if you want to hang out with me and just vent about your BF, then i don't want to hang out with you & dont want to hear your issues" But it may hurt her feelings, being she is so sensative, but hey, sometimes you just have to tell it how it is.

So any update? Have you spoken to her since her calls?

 

[koblo]

I have this friend [imma call her julie] who i've known for about 8 years.

she has this boyfriend [imma call him bill] who at one point was cool but now he's not important to me.

He treats julie like shit & controls her. Julie found out that he was cheating on her & she came crying to me.
Being the friend that i am, i comfort her & all that stuff. I told her she'll do fine without him but she just wasn't having it. She told me that she couldn't live without him.

So she decided to stay with him because she wanted to "make things work."
I took that as a slap in the face because her & her boyfriend put me in the middle of the relationship & they drove me crazy.

It's been 2 years since me & julie really talked. We aren't close like before, we don't call one another. Well, julie would call me once in a while but only to talk about her boyfriend.

The point I'm trying to make is all the sudden she wants to come around & be "close" like how we use to be. She's been wanting to hang out or go eat. She wants us to be cool, knowing the fact that her boyfriend & I don't get along..

The truth is i dont want to. I'm at the point where i'm fine without her & I dont need her.

But does this make me a bad person?

There's so much more to this, i just wanna keep it short. I'm confused... I dont know what to do... help... :huh: :wacko:

No. This does not make you a bad friend. Unexplainable things happen and may caused changes. You should be proud of yourself though for supporting and caring for your girl friend. I am surprise your girl friend left you for that guy. It is a lesson to learn that you never leave your girls for a guy. Guys come and go. But I am sure you know what you want and how to deal with situations so still try to support your girl friend.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

No. This does not make you a bad friend. Unexplainable things happen and may caused changes. You should be proud of yourself though for supporting and caring for your girl friend. I am surprise your girl friend left you for that guy. It is a lesson to learn that you never leave your girls for a guy. Guys come and go. But I am sure you know what you want and how to deal with situations so still try to support your girl friend.

awe thanks. i'm over it now. i pretty much stop talking to her. i think one of my friends went & told her bout how i dont wanna be her friend anymore & now she just stopped talking to me. i mean i don't care. she did what she did. i'm not the perfect friend. i've made mistakes, told her to do things that i'm not proud of you know but when she needed me the most [ the times where she needed comfort, support, i was always there for her like the friend that i am] & when i needed her, she turns her back against me.

i mean we're always gonna be friends but our friendship can never be what it use to be. she comes to me with the same shit over & over & i can only help her so much so now i'm over it. girls now a days are just.. full of it.

 

[koblo]

awe thanks. i'm over it now. i pretty much stop talking to her. i think one of my friends went & told her bout how i dont wanna be her friend anymore & now she just stopped talking to me. i mean i don't care. she did what she did. i'm not the perfect friend. i've made mistakes, told her to do things that i'm not proud of you know but when she needed me the most [ the times where she needed comfort, support, i was always there for her like the friend that i am] & when i needed her, she turns her back against me.

i mean we're always gonna be friends but our friendship can never be what it use to be. she comes to me with the same shit over & over & i can only help her so much so now i'm over it. girls now a days are just.. full of it.

I understand and see your point of view. It is overwhelming when a friendship is not the same and changes. But you should confront her and tell her yourself that you do not feel the caring and support from her as you do for her whenever she has her boy problems.

 

[Alhambra1]

awe thanks. i'm over it now. i pretty much stop talking to her. i think one of my friends went & told her bout how i dont wanna be her friend anymore & now she just stopped talking to me. i mean i don't care. she did what she did. i'm not the perfect friend. i've made mistakes, told her to do things that i'm not proud of you know but when she needed me the most [ the times where she needed comfort, support, i was always there for her like the friend that i am] & when i needed her, she turns her back against me.

i mean we're always gonna be friends but our friendship can never be what it use to be. she comes to me with the same shit over & over & i can only help her so much so now i'm over it. girls now a days are just.. full of it.

It's good that you're over it, but I think you should have been the one to let her know instead of one of your other friend. Also it sounds like she is in an abusive relationship and if that is the case than I think you should not turn your back on her yet.

 

[Saifah]

OH GOSH YOUR NOT BAD PERSON! SERiOUSLY iM TiRED OF PEOPLE LiKE THAT! THEY ONLY COME TO YOU WHEN THEY SOMETHiNG! FORGET THEM!

i HATE PEOPLE WHO DiSSES THEiR FRiENDS FOR SOMEONE THEY JUST MET! STUPiD!

AND WIEN THEiR ASS GET DiSS THEY COME BACK TO YOU. HELLA DUMB!

BUT YOU ARENT WRONG OR BAD!

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

It's good that you're over it, but I think you should have been the one to let her know instead of one of your other friend. Also it sounds like she is in an abusive relationship and if that is the case than I think you should not turn your back on her yet.

OH GOSH YOUR NOT BAD PERSON! SERiOUSLY iM TiRED OF PEOPLE LiKE THAT! THEY ONLY COME TO YOU WHEN THEY SOMETHiNG! FORGET THEM!

i HATE PEOPLE WHO DiSSES THEiR FRiENDS FOR SOMEONE THEY JUST MET! STUPiD!

AND WIEN THEiR ASS GET DiSS THEY COME BACK TO YOU. HELLA DUMB!

BUT YOU ARENT WRONG OR BAD!

tell me bout it. i've lost many friends because of this. i know you gotta sacraific some of friendship time but the only time she comes around is when she wants to vent about her boyfriend. she does soo much for him & the dude don't even apperciate her. this is why i stick to my guy friends. ^_^ they are more mellow & don't bring drama into my life.

 

[Saifah]

TRUE SAME BUT THE MORE YOU'RE NiCE AND TRiES TO UNDERSTAND THEM AND EVEN TRY TO FRiCKiN HELP THEM, THEY HEKKA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.

SOMETiMES THEY DONT EVEN APPRECiATE iT! DRAMATiC HUH? AND THEY ONLY COME AROUND WHEN THEY YOU OTHERWiSE YOU'RE NOTHiNG TO THEM. i CALL THEM KON NAA DAAN (THiCK FACE PEOPLE).

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

TRUE SAME BUT THE MORE YOU'RE NiCE AND TRiES TO UNDERSTAND THEM AND EVEN TRY TO FRiCKiN HELP THEM, THEY HEKKA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.

SOMETiMES THEY DONT EVEN APPRECiATE iT! DRAMATiC HUH? AND THEY ONLY COME AROUND WHEN THEY YOU OTHERWiSE YOU'RE NOTHiNG TO THEM. i CALL THEM KON NAA DAAN (THiCK FACE PEOPLE).

oh i know. what's so funny about this situation is during our senior year of high school, i was dating this dude that she didn't really get along with. she always thought she was better than everybody else. she took things so seriously. but anywaise back to the point, i started talking to this dude. my friend & this dude know each other but they weren't cool with each other like that. so anywaise, we ended up being boyfriend/girlfriend & one day, my friend straight up said, "noy, you know since you have a boyfriend now, you're gonna change. you're gonna hang around him more & more and leave your friends behind" & i'm thinking & i told her, "i won't change, i'll still stay the same person" & i did.

what's so funny is what she told me then is how she is now. i was thinking, "you need to take your own advice. cuz you've changed so much because of this dude." she praise him as if he's god. he's very controlling & won't even allow her to have guy friends, beside her boyfriend's friend. that is ridiculous.

 

[Saifah]

GOSH NOW YOU MAKE ME THiNK ABOUT MY RELATiONSHiP iF MY BF iS LiKE THAT. LOL. HE'S NOT CONTROLLiNG BUT SOMETiMES HE DiSAGREE WiTH WHAT i WEAR CAUSE iT TENDS TO BE TOMBOYiSH. BUT HE GETS ALONG WiTH MY FRiENDS. GiRLS AND GUYS.

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE.. i HAD A FRiEND WHO IS LiKE YOUR USED TO BE FRiEND. i HATE THE WAY SHE WAS! NEVER APPRECiATE ANYTHiNG i DiD. SHE ONLY CAME AROUND WHEN SHE NEEDS ME. HEKKA USED ME! WHEN i SEE HER SCHOOL SHE BE HEKKA STUCK UP.