You know you are hmong if..

[YM_gurl]

I know somebody has already posted something similar to this.. but this one is different..read it.. it's hecka funny! :lmao:

Your only close friends are Hmong people.
You hate "white" music and only listen to pop, techno, rap or r&b music, which, of course, are not "white". N'sync is black.
You wear platforms and stylish clothes (girls).
You wear baggy or preppy clothes (boys).
You live in a Hmong community and never leave. If you leave, you always end up coming back.
Your parents compare who has the worst kids.
You have a rice cooker and buy 100 lbs. of rice every month.
You have a whole pig/cow/chicken in your refrigerator.
You have over ten kids in the family.
Your parents/grandparents can't speak English.
You have a baby or get married before you turn sixteen.
All you think about is boys/girls.
You know someone who works in a factory.
You have cockroaches in your house.
Family is the most important thing in your life.
You go to all the Hmong tournaments in the summer.
You have Hmong pride.
You know how to spell "kuv hlub koj" and that's it.
You live in Wisconsin, Minnesota or California or knows someone who lives there.
You have relatives in France, Thailand or Laos.
The younger generation likes to go on-line and hook up with other Hmong people.

:lmao:

 

[YM_gurl]

Jokes... just wanna share..

why asian women should hang out with asian men?

We know martial arts, and if we don't it still looks like we do. If you do a couple of kicks that aren't too pathetic, people will think you are a master. Good deterrent.
We speak two languages. We can speak to you AND your parents. In other words, we can pucker up for you and your parents. Note: You must be the same Asian race for this to apply.
We can use chopsticks. In Asian restaurants we can split kimchee for you with chopsticks. Try that with a fork and spoon. We can also play table drums for you with chopsticks. How romantic...
We like the same music you do, all that new-wave/techno mixed and synthesized stuff.
We are all gonna be rich doctors, engineers, and lawyers. That means only one thing for you, "Shopping, Shopping, and more Shopping." Wheee.
We can be your geek on the street (We can help you with all your studying b/c we are naturally geniuses). Or we can be your stud in the pub (We can drink a lot and have that squinty eyed, drooping cig, drink in one hand, we are cool look that will make you want to sit with us).
We know what Asian babes want. Our moms told us.
Our hairstyles are low maintenance. We just need a bowl and scissors.
We not only know all about American culture, we make a great looking couple.
We are just as sensitive, understanding, and intelligent as the next American tough guy.

~You know you're asian if... :lmao:

You live in Asia.
You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea.
People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
People think you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
Your relatives' houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
You've visited this site.
Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
Your dad is some kind of engineer.
You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
You shop 99 ranch.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
You've eaten parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
You have painful memories of the feather duster.
You dress like all your Asian friends.
You get nothing when you do well in school, but you get crapped on when you don't.
You have about 12 or more Aunts or Uncles.
You have tiles in at least 2 rooms in your house.
You've read my page up to here.
Your family owns Asian Cars (Toyota).
You have woven mats in your house.
You shop at a Local Asian Market.
Your family takes pictures everywhere they go.
Your dad has the same haircut he had when he was a child.
You see lots of Karaoke videos with phony girls in them.
Nothing matches in your house.
You have a box of noodles in your house.
You have a bucket full of rice in your pantry.
Your dad still wears the tube of socks with the stripes.
You own some kind of Video Game Machine.
You either know how to break dance or knows someone who does.
All your little girl relatives have the same hair style.
You are usually taller than your parents once you reach puberty.
You tell your parents your crisis period and they always have a story to tell you about the same situation they had been through when they were your age.
You have a pair of sandals.
You have had the hairstyle where you part it in the middle or still have it (Mainly for Males).
Your parents or grandparents own a garden.
Your mom wears red lipstick.
You only have Asian doctors/dentist.
You either know how to speak your language or don't.
You make fun of your parents when they speak English.
Your parents like to gamble

 

[YM_gurl]

more..

~10 questions asked of Asians..~

Where are you from?
No, where are you really from?
Do you know karate?
Can you see when you smile?
Do you eat dog?
What's my name in Korean?
What kind of computer should I buy?
Where did you learn to speak English so good?
Do you know how to use a fork?
Do you know Connie Chung?

~You know you're married to a asian women if..~

She goes to bed in her street clothes.
You have your rice delivered in bulk.
Your annual holiday is spent hanging round her parents.
She is terrified that the kids won't be able to speak her language.
She won't shop anywhere she can't bargain.
The bathroom cabinet is full of Chinese medicine.
Your flower beds are full of garlic.
She demands a load of kitchen devices, then pounds everything up like she did back home.
She always leaves the doors and windows open.
She always turns off the lights and heating to save money.
She keeps all her clothes in a suitcase.
The refrigerator and freezer is full of left-over food.

~Top ten Pick-up lines used by Asian men~

I may look like a nerd, but it's only a disguise.
I carry this beeper not to feel important but so my mom knows where I am. I carry this phone to call her back.
Uhhhh, no, I didn't play football in high school, but I did letter in varsity volleyball and tennis.
Has anyone ever told you you look like Chun Li? You know, that chick from Street Fighter 2.
What do I do? Gee, I thought you would never ask. Y'see, I'm finishing my first year of residency in internal medicine.
Yeah, (sniff) I cried during "Joy Luck Club."
Do I cook? Well, not really but I can whip up a pretty mean fried rice!
~ Top 10 Advantages of being Asian~

You can pretend you don't speak English when you're around stupid people.
Everyone asks your advice on computers, cameras, carryout, VCRs, Toyotas and Karate.
You look enough like Bruce Lee that when you get in a fight, all you have to do is squint your eyes and howl to scare people.
There are a lot more opportunities for casting in war movies.
No one expects you to drive well.
People mistake you for a Laundromat owner and bring you a lot of neat clothes.
You can be from Ohio and still be considered "exotic"
If you ever commit a crime, you can get good laughs when your description is passed around (black hair, brown eyes, glasses).
You get people coming up to you all the time saying neat things in languages you don't speak.
During times of way, you get free outdoor housing at a local house track.
You know what? It's strange, but I get mistaken for a white guy all the time!
Hey baby, wanna ride in my 16-valve, twin-cam lowered Acura Integra with BBS gold spiked rims and a sub-woofered stereo that'll leave you breathless?
My eyes may seem small but I've got a HUGE personality.

 

[YM_gurl]

more jokes to laugh...

If an Asian girl was really Asian, she...

be wearing platforms
be wearing flares
has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone
carries a big-ass purse
carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse
knows everybody in town
thinks she knows about cars, but really don't
always be fiending for "pho"
lies about her age when y'all first meet
thinks she knows how to drive
talks hella fast on your voice mail
has a 800 or 888 number
shares a 800 or 888 with her homies
carries a pager for the time
has money but is hella cheap when it comes to paying
has taken studio pictures more than 7 times a month
wears a(n) Nautica, Tommy, Polo, Nike, or Adidas jacket
wears those fake-ass leather jackets
is seen every week at the mall
wear tight see-through shirts
never goes anywhere without at least her homie or her cousin
seems to be cousins with all the females in town
drives hella crazy... cuz she can't reach the pedal all the way
thinks she's fat... when she's like a little toothpick
likes it when peeps tell her she's cute... cuz she conceited
brings hundred lbs. of make-up in her purse
carries a back-pack to the mall after school... like she's a school girl
wants to get color contacts to look good
is always talking about "Asian Pride"
is always reppin her nationality
knows cities as their area code rather than the name
calls a city by ?-town or ?-side
if she's a good girl... has strict ass parents
if she's a bad girl... goes out every night
used to be a thug/gangsta girl
loves to karaoke with her homegirls
can't sing when she's with her man
can write hella nice
writes "sorry so sloppy" on every letter
dislikes Mariah Carey's racist ass
dislikes Hilfiger's racist ass
dislikes DiCaprio's gay ass
dislikes Ma$e's retarded ass
dislikes Russians' stank asses
watches Days of our Lives
watches guys play b-ball
thinks she can play b-ball
plays b-ball without shoes... cuz she only has platforms
if her natural hair color is nothing but a faint memory in the past
rather be single than go with a white-boy
freaks at every dance
booty shakes at every dance
if she's a good girl... loves lil' kids
if she's a bad girl... loves to hate lil' kids
wants an Integra GS-R... cuz every girl does
asks every guy she knows for a ride to everywhere
calls everyone to get a ride
pages everyone with "good night" when they go to sleep
pages everyone with her number... just to say hi
loves money... regardless who's it is

~ey, take this quiz, are you an.. a, b, c, d, or e...?

What type of Asian are you?

GIRLS

1. On a typical Friday night, you're most likely to be seen at:

A) pool hall
B) the mall
C) at home, getting an early start on homework
D) cafe shop
E) your friend's house, having a sleepover

2. Your normal everyday wear is:

A) tight shirts, spaghetti straps, baggy jeans, and extra dark lipstick
B) lots and lots of makeup - to impress the guys of course
C) thick glasses, long sun dresses, penny loafers, or sandals
D) high pumps, expensive designer clothes and tons of jewelry
E) college or Mickey Mouse sweatshirts with blue jeans

3. You usually give out your number when:

A) almost never, guys get scared off by your mean looks
B) any foine guy happens to ask for it
C) never - you're not supposed to talk to guys
D) there's money floating around him
E) any white guy asks for it

4. When you go to the mall, you:

A) give menacing stares to other Asian girls
B) follow a foine guy for awhile, then get his number
C) stick close to mom
D) get a guy to buy you a drink, then an outfit, maybe some jewelry
E) go with a large girl group to check out the hunky white guys

5. Your ideal guy:

A) could fight and take on any guy he sees
B) is anyone with a nice set of buns
C) ohmigod!!! a guy?! I think I'm feeling dizzy...
D) has money
E) one word: white

6. Favorite name brand is:

A) Calvin Klein
B) Polo, Hilfiger, or Nautica
C) Ummm...does Kmart brand count?
D) Bebe, Express, Banana Republic, DKNY
E) Esprit, Guess

7. You're best known for:

A) beating up any girl that looks your way
B) going out with half of the male population
C) being the master cheat sheet for all tests
D) getting anyone to buy you anything you please
E) attending every single sorority party on campus

Time to add up the totals:

Mostly A's: Asian Thug Girl - sheesh, give some respect for the other girls. No one wants to date your scary ass face anyway.

Mostly B's: Asian Flirt - Hey save some guys for the other girls! Your a big time playa and you need to get over that.

Mostly C's: Asian Nerd - Get a life! Learn some social skills and don't be male phobic alright.

Mostly D's: Asian Gold Digger - Guys aren't just about money you know. In the future, your gonna get dumped for your demanding ways.

Mostly E's: Asian Whitegirl - Awww... Asian Thug Girl's gonna jump you for disgracing her race! Better get your act together and have some pride!