lynnyang
sarNie Adult
Back to March
Written By: Lynn Yang
Apart of me had always been passionate. I have always wanted to write the best love stories with a perfect ending. So here I am, sitting in my small cozy bedroom on my laptop writing this story so you can all read. I hope you all will laugh, smile, and shed a few tear as you read this story.
Part 1
Whenever it rains, I would be back to that day, the day that I was heart broken and defeated. The scene and the words he spoke to me would replay in my head. I would cry and cry until I felt better. He haunted me in my dreams. I would try to battle him in my dreams and block him out. It took me awhile until I stopped dreaming of him. But once in awhile he would come again and I would fight him again.“Hey, Susie, I just have to tell you what happened last night at Barcode,” my older sister Catherine said.
“What?” I asked.
“Go to your myspace and than you’ll know,” she said.
So I did as Catherine said and logged into my myspace on my blackberry. Funny, cause Cat took her time writing me a message instead of telling me in person. She wrote me a long letter in detailed explaining about Jaycee, my ex-boyfriend and his behavior at the club. She did a wonderful job describing how he dance and how he had his face all over one of my friends boobs. I giggled after reading the message and said it was nonsense.
A moment later, I was in the restroom wiping tears from my eyes. A stupid naive girl I was to believe that Jaycee would love me as he claimed.
It was a terrible and lonely summer for me. I was dumped, heart broken, and miserable. Jaycee and I had been friends and known each other since 5. We dated for 3 _ years until we call it quit. It was a friendly breakup, no third hand nor anything involved. It was two grownups that had decided to give up trying because they don’t understand each other.
“Hey, Sue, we’re all heading out. Watch the house!” my mom called out.
And than it started raining. I sat up on my bed and leaned behind the wall with my blanket draped around me. My eyes closed and I knew right than that I was back to that day again. I was back to March.
We sat down on the ground behind the library. He sat across from me. He was dressed in jeans, a light green shirt over a long sleeve, and his shoulder bag. I was in black jeans, a yellow diversity shirt over a gray long sleeve shirt and in black boots.
“I hope you find a man better than me,” said Jaycee.
“I can’t believe that until the end you didn’t choose me,” I replied.
And than we parted and I watched his back as he walked out of my life forever. My eyes shut and I started in tears.
I opened my eyes and realized that I actually made some noise from my mouth. I wiped my tears and reminded myself to get a grip. Again, I betrayed myself. Later that night, I opened my wallet and took out his photo that I hid inside. I would sit there in my desk with his photo in my hand staring at it for hours in tears. After shedding a few tears, I would slip his photo back in my wallet and put a smile on my face. This is the face and a smile of a lonely, lifeless woman with a broken heart. I’m in pain all the time. I would think about Jaycee and the happy times we share. And how I wish we had never part and that I wish to have go back and fixed all the mistakes that happened. But I can’t.
The next day after learning that Financial Aid would no longer cover my college fees, I swallowed my pride and smile and walked out of the office. I was on the bus on my way home. I put my sun glass on and put the headphones in my ear and turned the music up. I looked out the window and began the tears I have been holding onto. How I wish there was Jaycee here who I can call too and comfort me like always.
There was nothing left here for me. I phoned my little sister Sabrina that I was coming down there. She was happy and agreed that I come as soon as I can. She was happy to have me join her and her husband.
I was packing my things ready to leave too Arizona. I came upon my diary. The diary about Jaycee and I, the one I would spend my time writing on. I would talk about Jaycee, our happy and sad moments. I didn’t want to throw the diary way nor did I want to take it with me. So I decided to put it back and hid it in my desk. I gathered friends out for a dinner for a good bye. I invited everyone I knew except for him.
The next day, I was on my way to Arizona. I was at the airport hugging my family before I took off.
“You take care, Sue,” my mom said in tears. “Don’t forget to eat a lot.”
I laughed. “I will.”
My dad hugged me and patted me on the head. “I love you, Bumble Bee. Be safe and come back to visit us.”
I blanked back tears and nodded. I hugged my three sisters and kneeled down to kiss my nephew Darrel on the cheeks.
“Auntie Susie will be back,” I said and patted his head.
“Don’t forget to buy me sycther,” Darrel pointed out.
The family and I laughed at that. I pinched his cheeks and answered, “Yes, I know.”
My flight was called and I took a glance at my family for a last time and walked away. I blinked back tears and smiled, a broken heart smile. Here, I was happy, I had Jaycee, friends, and an education. But now I was left with nothing. I lost a love, a dream and a goal in life. I had to go away and make myself a new life before I can come back here.
I was inside the airplane and sat beside the window looking out.
“Goodbye California. Goodbye Jaycee...”
I put my sunglasses on and put the headphones in my ear and turned the music up again. I closed my eyes and let the tears dropped again. I promise myself that I will forget about Jaycee. He was everything that I wanted, but he broke my heart. He turned his back on me, he broke us and I had forgiven him. I’m not upset at him anymore. I will try to go on with my life. But I will never love another like I have loved Jaycee.
Part 2
Sue and I have been separated for 7 months now. I love her with all my heart. I never imagined having to love anyone more than her. But she said I was making her miserable. What could I have done? After two tries, I thought it was better to have it ended. I wanted her to find someone who would love her and treat her better than I could. So I let her go. But did she not know that I was hurting so badly to let her slip away. She deserves someone so much better than me. I don’t deserve her at all. But than I could not believe what I heard, she left. She is gone.
Until a year later in March that I received a small package. I opened it up and there I was holding the diary that belonged to Sue. My hand was shaking and my eyes growing big in tears. The diary was dated back in 2006 when Sue had a crush with me, our love, our happy times, our sad moments, and than it ended with our parting. The last page she wrote:
Thank you, for making me a stronger person today, yet I am still weak at heart. What I should’ve said to you that day was, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said in those texts or message. But you do make me miserably and unconditionally in love with you. Can we please work this out together again? I promise to go everywhere with you and I will be more open-minded. I know that I’m stubborn and short temper around you. But I will try to change just for you, only for you. I just need you to make me assure that you really loved me, everything about me. Will you love me and accept my flaws?” But I never told you this because you have already made up your mind. I said, “I can’t believe that until the end you didn’t choose me” because I believed that I didn’t fall off the sky and that you have chosen me to be the one. But than you didn’t choose me. I still can’t believe that after all this we have been through I still miss you and love you. I blame myself each and everyday that it was my fault you have chosen to leave. I ask myself, “Why did we even ended? Have you ever loved me?” I don’t know if I will ever be able to see you again. But if I don’t than I hope that one day when you come across to reading this, I hope you know my love for you will never change regardless what you become. I know you have tried your best to make our relationship worked, but it probably wasn’t meant to be and I don’t blame you anymore. I forgive you for leaving me. You will always be apart of my memory. Even if I loved another in the future, you will always remain in my heart. I believed you when you said that the past 3 years did mean something to you. Always, know that I will not speak ill of you because you were good to me. I know deep down that you have never neglected me, but it’s because we both don’t understand each other well enough that it didn’t work out. Every night before going to sleep, I pray for god to watch over you. And if you still loved me, truly loved me like you have said before, than please recite that quote from the shirt given to me on my 18th birthday with my name...
-Sue
I shut the diary closed. I closed my eyes trying to clear my head and think straight. What have I done? How could I be so stupid? Who cares what other says about our differences! Who cares if she doesn’t like me playing soccer or if she liked eating eggs and I don’t. What a fool I was! No one would have ever loved me like Sue has! I grabbed my car keys and dial a number from my cell phone. I was out the door racing to my car. I was on my way to the airport to Arizona.
“Hey, Michael, be prepared to be my best-man! I’m on my way to Arizona to win my heart back...”
Part 3
I looked myself in the mirror nervously. Today it is, I’m getting married to Edward. After today, I’m going to be Edward’s wife and a married woman. The thought gave me cold feet. I pray today would go well and that everything well be perfect and than we’ll be on our way to our honeymoon. “Bumble Bee,” my dad said behind. “It’s time.”
I got up and started tearing up, my dad wiped my tears with his hand.
“Now, don’t you start with the tears. You’re supposed to be happy and smiling, dear.”
“I know,” I choked. “I know, I’m just so happy and nervous at the same time.”
I took my dad by the arm and we walked down the aisle to the podium where my Edward waited for me patiently. He looked up at me with a nervous yet loving look. My Edward, yes, I’m marrying my Edward. Edward gave me a new beginning, a new life and he healed my broken heart. My dad handed my hand over to Edward and walked away.
The priest started the ceremony and than paused to say, “If anyone here today believe this couple should not marry speak now or forever hold your peace.”
There was a silence. Edward and I looked over at our guest and back to each other with a smile.
“Very well,” the priest said. “Than we-“
“I object!” Jaycee called out walking down the aisle with his gaze directing at me.
“Is he-“ Edward began.
“Jaycee,” I finished.
Jaycee was now standing between Edward and I.
“Sue, I’m sorry. I hope it’s not too late. I just got the diary today and that’s when I knew,” he started and took a hold of my hand.
“Diary?” I said and than looked beside me to see Cat giving me a guilty look.
“I know that it was my fault. I shouldn’t have walked out I should have never left you at all. I don’t want you to change anything for me. I like you just the way you are. I promise from now on that I will give up soccer, I will not complain about eggs, I will play less games, I will not neglect you, I will quit those night life, and I will always love and cherish you. I love you, Sue. Please, give me this last chance I promise that I will not mess up again,” he finished with pleading eyes.
I was devastated. I was happy to have heard these words, but it wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I slowly pulled my hands away from his.
“Thank you, Jaycee...but it’s too late...” I said and turned back to look at Edward who returned me a warm smile.
Jaycee hurt and defeated slowly backed away and made his way out the door.
“Now we can carry on,” the priest said.
“They asked me what I loved most about life, I smiled and said Sue,” Jaycee said standing out the door looking at me.
Stunned, I looked back at him and than he was gone.
“I’m so sorry, Edward,” I said and shoved the bouquet at Sabrina and took off after Jaycee.
Sabrina took the bouquet and shouted out, “I knew it!”
Edward looked over at Sabrina in shock. “You all knew this was going to happen?”
I was outside and found him halfway the street.
“Jaycee!” I shouted in tears. “You jerk, why do you have to do this to me? You asshole, I hate you! I hate you! Do you hear me? You better come back and find me a groom or else I’m going to-“
“Or else, what?” he asked with a smirk walking back towards me.
I looked up at him and burst into more tears and said chokingly, “Or else...I’m going to make....make your life....miserable... you jer-“
Jaycee covered my mouth with his. He grabbed me by the waist and held onto me tightly, a promise to never letting me go again. My hand found there way up to his neck. We were back to the old days now. Two sweet people so young and so in love like the days in high school.
“I don’t care how miserable my life will be from here on out. As long as I have you beside me, that’s all that matters,” Jaycee spoke staring me in the eyes and wiped my tears with his hand. “I love you, Sue.”
I was still sniffing and nodding my head with a smile on my face.
“Thanks for ruining my dream wedding. You owe me a groom and you better help me save face, you jerk-“
Jaycee shoved his mouth onto mine. “Hmm...you need to watch that little mouth of yours,” He got down on one knee. “Will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive, Sue?”
My mouth dropped wide open. “Oh..god, I thought you were never going to asked me to marry you since I have always said in the past that I was never going to get married. And than we broke up and I realized how much I have always want you to be that man, the man who would spend the rest of his life locked up with me...”
“You know, that’s not the answer I was expecting for, Sue. But I’m very happy you spoke of it. So will you marry me or not?” Jaycee said growing a little impatient.
“Yes, of course. I have always wanted to marry you!” I exclaimed and jumped up on Jaycee.
We were married an hour later. Edward made Jaycee promise him all over again to love and cherish me. He also threatened Jaycee that if he ever hurt me again, he was going to take me to a far away place so Jaycee could never find me again. And when we came back to California, Jaycee promised me another wedding, one we both would work on together. And it was the most beautiful wedding ever. It was like a fairytale, I married my first love just like how I have always wanted it.
2 years later...I gave birth to a son. We named him Wayne. My life was perfect, Jaycee loved me so much, there were still those fights, but we always made up. We understand each other more than ever. Jaycee is a loving husband and father. He retired from soccer, he loves eating eggs now, and I have mastered playing his video games now. We will be up in the morning battling each other. By the end of the day, we are still a young couple who loved each other more than ever. We always go back to March and thought about how we fell apart and found our way back.
“They asked us what we love most about life, we smiled and said each other's name.”
