Do you wish you could turn back time?

M

MayDec

sarNie Egg
i don't even know how to begin...

i guess i could start by saying that moving to california (more specifically los angeles) has changed my life tremendously...

i see so much heartlessness, lack of hope, lack of opportunties, struggles, losses in self identification...and....(sigh)...i'm so drained spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, everythingly that i just don't know what to think anymore.

many people here are either illegals or shitheads...meaning, you can't really communicate with them. on top of that, they rob u of many things. the old me would have never even touch the thoughts of this statement, let alone SAY IT!! but i've been driven to the point where i don't have compassion for people anymore!

NOTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED HERE. I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME because it was completely my FAULT for coming to L.A. in the first place!! i KNOW THAT!

i was very naive, had no "real work experience", knew no one who could really drill me on the ins and outs, and saw the world as a rescue mission.

this place doesn't allow for that. it's too corrupted and the pace is just too fast. if u were not born here, nor have any human ties (whether it be for work or emotional support), you will get eaten alive.

i strongly REGRET coming here, and more importantly, i can't go back home right now. i've gotten into things that i never imagined i would even LOOK AT!! in my desperate attempts, i've gotten into gambling, and have debts up to my ass. i feel so alone. i don't even know who i am or what to do anymore!! it's lonely and sad here. i've cried more times than i ever did in my life, and i've only been here for about two years or so!!!

bottom line is, i have to get out of california soon before i ruin my life even more.

F*CK that whole "i wouldn't change anything about my past because it's a lesson" shiot. i wish i could start over and change EVERYTHING that has happened here. i'm not even sure why i'm posting this or what my point is, but i just want to say, if there is some higher being or supernatural force out there, please help me get out of my financial troubles. no matter what anyone says, MONEY F'ING MATTERS. when i get that taken cared of, i promise to be more cautious of how i conduct myself in my decision making.

i hope i don't commit suicide before i get to come back and read this.
 
ohitsnoyyy

ohitsnoyyy

Mama Noy ♥️
MayDec said:
i don't even know how to begin...

i guess i could start by saying that moving to california (more specifically los angeles) has changed my life tremendously...

i see so much heartlessness, lack of hope, lack of opportunties, struggles, losses in self identification...and....(sigh)...i'm so drained spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, everythingly that i just don't know what to think anymore.

many people here are either illegals or shitheads...meaning, you can't really communicate with them. on top of that, they rob u of many things. the old me would have never even touch the thoughts of this statement, let alone SAY IT!! but i've been driven to the point where i don't have compassion for people anymore!

NOTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED HERE. I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME because it was completely my FAULT for coming to L.A. in the first place!! i KNOW THAT!

i was very naive, had no "real work experience", knew no one who could really drill me on the ins and outs, and saw the world as a rescue mission.

this place doesn't allow for that. it's too corrupted and the pace is just too fast. if u were not born here, nor have any human ties (whether it be for work or emotional support), you will get eaten alive.

i strongly REGRET coming here, and more importantly, i can't go back home right now. i've gotten into things that i never imagined i would even LOOK AT!! in my desperate attempts, i've gotten into gambling, and have debts up to my ass. i feel so alone. i don't even know who i am or what to do anymore!! it's lonely and sad here. i've cried more times than i ever did in my life, and i've only been here for about two years or so!!!

bottom line is, i have to get out of california soon before i ruin my life even more.

F*CK that whole "i wouldn't change anything about my past because it's a lesson" shiot. i wish i could start over and change EVERYTHING that has happened here. i'm not even sure why i'm posting this or what my point is, but i just want to say, if there is some higher being or supernatural force out there, please help me get out of my financial troubles. no matter what anyone says, MONEY F'ING MATTERS. when i get that taken cared of, i promise to be more cautious of how i conduct myself in my decision making.

i hope i don't commit suicide before i get to come back and read this.
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omg.. you move to LA??? ahh... bad choice to begin with. it's still not too late to change your life. just take it one day at a time. it seems like you're trying to do wayyy too many things & sometimes its best to just take it one task at a time. just slow your roll. focus on yourself & sooner or later things will fall into place.
 
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
Wow sweety you need to calm down first of all. Don't worry it's not only you that have made the wrong decisions; I've made plenty of decisions I wish I didn't make and some of those decisions I'm still living with. I have many skeletons in my closet when it comes to my mistakes in life. What we need to do is put our head on straight and calm down. First you have to gather up everything that you want to fix. Then you need to find out the options to fixing it. Then you need is to slowly take those steps to fixing it.

I seriously don't know what to tell you because this is something that you need to slowly figure out.

Also I know this seems odd, but if you ever need someone to talk to you can talk to me, just shoot me a pm or something; I know exactly how you're feeling because I'm there in life also =.= x3 *hugs* sweety I hope things get better.
 
lady0fdarkness

lady0fdarkness

Professional Lakorn Watcher
Whatever you do, do not take the permenant way out. Think of it this way..... you're not alone at all. Everyone's been to that deep dark place, before. I know I have, and I've made it out alive and well. You just need to give yourself a chance, a break, and stop beating yourself up. Mistakes are meant to be made, that's what life is about. I know some places are tough to live, so you've got to try and either make it best you can or try to get away from it.

Have you tried asking your family or friends for help financially? If you sit down and have a thorough talk with a close friend or a trusted family member, and tell them your dyer need, I am almost positive that they will help you. Let them know you are trying to change yourself and that you are in a very very bad place. Have a family member help you move out of that place that you hate, move to another place... find a job... and gradually pay back all your debts. Just remember you are not alone in this world. If you need to talk.... please, don't hestitate to message me.

I'll be praying for you. God bless.......

There is always a rainbow at the end of a storm...
 
fun

fun

Expired Sarnie
I really really really really really really really really really wished I could turn back time.
 
Azlisakhmer

Azlisakhmer

sarNie Adult
Wow i live in CA all my life yes it's really corrupted no offense but the hispanics only help each other and the asians in hteir job won't hellp other asians out afraid that they might take over there position. But there are some good things here in LA. Don't take the easy way out by taking ur life you are only hurting the ppl u luv. I wish you the best.
 
L

Liberty

sarNie Adult
Sorry to hear about your ordeal. *hugs* I felt that way too when I first moved to the city (Austin) from my small coastal town then I started feeling like that again when I moved to Houston on my own for school.

Things eventually get better, you just gotta learn to look for the little good things out there. Not everything is bad and not everything will be good. There will be plenty of bad times but it's the good ones that makes it worth the struggle. I know it sounds corny but I've been there done that and I've learn to not feel sorry for myself because it doesn't solve anything and in fact it actually makes things worse (or seem much worse than they really are). During tough times you just gotta learn to fight through it, keep your head up and worker harder to get what you want/where you want to be.

That's just how it is to live in a big city, the bigger the city, the harder the struggle. If you want to survive in that sort of environment you need to learn to adapt and be more aggressive in what you want, you can't expect others to be nice, honest and offer a helping hand that's just now how it works in the city. If you're truely unhappy, you might want to consider moving elsewhere. The ones who survive are the ones who are willing to fight and not give up everytime someone or something knocks them down.

Believe me I've been there, I've consider suicide myself (the idea of driving off a cliff might work in theory but it's quite scary when you actually get close to attempting it) but I took the other road and decided I wouldn't feel sorry for myself anymore. If I wanted something I'm going to work my ass off until I get it.
 
Y

yingerbug

Guest
Hey no worries... Seriously... Just try the best you can. I have been there and done that. I struggled hard and long and now I am finally starting to stand up on my own. 2 roommates who scr*wed me over. One up and left and left me with a 700$ aptment and the other stole money from me. I've struggled but lucky I have a great friend who taught me so much and help me when I needed it but taught me to learn before giving me anything. Still to this POINT I am still struggling but I just keep trying and trying! Same as you; I wanted to move down here; I never wanted to listen to my parents. Its not really NEVER but more like I thought I could have a better life in a BIG city rather then a small town with barely 30 hmong families. Life started out GREAT; then suddenly it all CRASHED! Without this special GUY friend of mine I would probably be sitting under a BRIDGE...
Turning back time... Hmm... YES and NO... Yes because I would be stress-free, problem-free and working at a job which pays min of 5.15 an hour. Family and friends close by and all the goods...
NO because without this experience in life how would I ever learn to be independent and learn to suffer. Everyone will learn to SUFFER at least one point in time. I can pack up and leave right now if i really want to but I keep thinking that this is a LIFE LEARNING LESSON and I will see the better side. So far... To be honest... IT STILL SUCKS! BUT its getting there inch by inch...
I've SUFFERED and I"VE LEARN to be STRONG! WITHOUT THIS EXPERIENCE I WOULD NEVER KNOW! And to those 2 roommies; KARMAS A B*TCH and I hear it from other about them. I WONT SHARE BECAUSE ITS NOT GOOD OF ME TO GOSSIP! hehe!!!
 
noungning

noungning

Heartless
turn back time - yes, and be like u know what "screw u all and go die in hell" ahahah

well anyways, no one knows ur situation more than urself, u are in control of it. if u wanna leave LA then leave LA, i know the feeling of people telling me the pep talk... kinda makes me sick. and i wholeheartedly agree, MONEY matters, u will not be able to live if you don't have money. in this society, it's all that matters and why siblings and family kill each other.

leaving LA doesn't necessarily mean you have to go home, move somewhere else that'd have more opportunities for you. i don't know your circumstances and responsibilities out there, but if you can move to LA on your own for 2 years, i'm sure you can move somewhere else and survive.

never think about taking your life. you have to learn to love yourself, although sometimes things takes over you and u lose control. but in the end you have to regain control of yourself and love yourself again, and you will have the strength to go forward. nothing is ever worth u taking ur own life, never!

goodluck to u.
 
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