What Is Your Opinion On Dating Other Ethnicity?

[pink_juliet_kashie]

okay life story...but since i started this topic i'll give my lilo story jah...

anyways i do come from a quite traditional family...men eat first in the house women eat 2nd outside wen we do jingle bell...those kind of tings...i was like the first person in my WHOLE relatives to ever date outside of my ethnicity...race watever...i'm not encouraging it nor perventing it...but from my experience...you'll probably run into a lot of problems w/ your parents....relatives..and all i got to say if decide if it's worth it...for my particular situation i dated the guy for the wrong reasons...not gonna state...but yeah..anywayz...juz ask yourself if the guy or girl is worth you getting on bad terms w/ your parents...or your relatives..and you have to know how the hmong community will react to you wenever you are around..so u're reputation is at stake...honestly rite now a lot of ppl still lable me as that girl tat date tat one _______ guy...doesn't bother me much but you know it gets to you sometimes..and i just hope these reasons don't encourage you to date other race for the mere reasons tat your parents are preventing you to do so...it was a good experince...but honestly i do plan to marry a hmong guy..but if someting else happen i guess i'm fine w/ it...but now looking back and looking at how my relatives live their lives and realize and understand why my parents would not allowing it...he would have totallie not fit in..and in the long run just cause distress for me, him, my family and everyone else....so okay there's my life story jah...

 

[nkaujhmooblauj]

okay life story...but since i started this topic i'll give my lilo story jah...

anyways i do come from a quite traditional family...men eat first in the house women eat 2nd outside wen we do jingle bell...those kind of tings...i was like the first person in my WHOLE relatives to ever date outside of my ethnicity...race watever...i'm not encouraging it nor perventing it...but from my experience...you'll probably run into a lot of problems w/ your parents....relatives..and all i got to say if decide if it's worth it...for my particular situation i dated the guy for the wrong reasons...not gonna state...but yeah..anywayz...juz ask yourself if the guy or girl is worth you getting on bad terms w/ your parents...or your relatives..and you have to know how the hmong community will react to you wenever you are around..so u're reputation is at stake...honestly rite now a lot of ppl still lable me as that girl tat date tat one _______ guy...doesn't bother me much but you know it gets to you sometimes..and i just hope these reasons don't encourage you to date other race for the mere reasons tat your parents are preventing you to do so...it was a good experince...but honestly i do plan to marry a hmong guy..but if someting else happen i guess i'm fine w/ it...but now looking back and looking at how my relatives live their lives and realize and understand why my parents would not allowing it...he would have totallie not fit in..and in the long run just cause distress for me, him, my family and everyone else....so okay there's my life story jah...

people will always talk.. so you might as well give them something to talk about...

 

[Kayleen]

Nothing wrong with dating another race. You choose who want to be with.

 

[nkaujhmoob08]

TO ME.....HUMMM.......LETS SEE......UMMM.....IT DON'T MATTER BUT RACIST ARE ALWASE OFF THE COWARD.....laterz...

 

[pink_juliet_kashie]

people will always talk.. so you might as well give them something to talk about...

just merely stating my experience...you can give them someting to talk about...but girl you know the hmong community they dun just talk about you they talk about ur parents/ relatives they go wayy back in the AD's and the BC's...it's mostly trying to save ur parents some face..i find it a bit selfish wen a lot of girls mess around and state "it's my life" it is but it'll affect the ppl around us..but again for tis topic just take a long time to tink about wat u're doing b4 u do it...

 

[isavang]

speaking from personal experience!
i dated someone who wasn't Hmong for about 4 1/2 years. everyone was against the relationship, etc...etc...(you know hmong people)
your own kind is the best kind out there!

let me tell you my thoughts about it!
dating someone outside of your race is different and in a way fun! because you get to appreciate their culture and learn from them!
not that you don't appreciate your own, but you are able to step "outside of the box" and enjoy something different!
not only that, you realize that their values and ways of lives are so similar to yours! that skin color is nothing important! its just a color!
like any normal relationships, you have your ups and downs! ranging from all sorts of relationships problems to family issues!
you just deal with it as the relationships develop!

at first, your relatives and family may be against it! but after awhile, they get used to it! if they want to talk, let them talk! it's give them something to do!
as for me, even though my family practiced the traditional ways! i'm more open and blunt about everything and anything!
so i don't give a CRAP about what they say! because in all fairness, we have to accepts our losses and deal with new changes!

my deal to the relatives...was that we are DATING only! we're not ready for marriage! cause that's a lifetime commitment!
after awhile, they back off! but the ironic things is that their children are doing exactly the same thing and they find faults with me! STUPID!
so therefore, i can say that it's a matter of who takes up the issues and explain to their parents that it's just dating!
and sometimes, exploring other ethnicity is just like exploring your own kind!
and yeah, eventually you're break up, which we did...and it wasn't because of family...it was because of education!
i was graduationg with a BA and he wasn't...therefore, i was going somewhere and he was pulling me down...and he isn't an American, but Korean!

btw, where have all the good hmong guys gone! oops! what i meant to say was that the girl are getting higher education than the men!
the hmong men are nowhere to be found in those tops fields!
(tell me, as you enter into college...do you notice that the hmong men tend to drop out after their 1st or 2nd year of college???)

 

[pajnra]

my dad stated that he will disown us if we date other race...and i know what he means because the parents will loss their face and pride to the community.
but if we really think about it..what is the point of marrying a hmong guy when u clearly know that he doesn't love you and then these the white guy that respects you and ur culture and loves you . i would rather go for the white guy

 

[nkaujhmooblauj]

but sometimes.. hmong parents value reputation too much.
and it's just like... 'wtf?!?'

 

[Mov4u]

Alright here is my thoughts on this issue. Most of girl is saying AS LONG AS THEY/WE LOVE EACH OTHER then it doesn't matter right, but that's isn't true for everyone since some date other race because of education so reason is FINANCE SECURITY. But read below and I hope afterward, you gal might change your mind to just date us Hmong guy even if we don't make 100k/yr but just enough to support the both or family=) If NO to Hmong guy, best luck!!

Easier to understand
Hmong GIRL- marry to other race

PROS: MIGHT* have higher education [likely to be older],
mixed babies cute[cutier than regular babies?], dang it's
hard to think of the PROS lol.

CONS: Likely no Hmong wedding ceremony [meaning nothing
for the hardworking parent], Can't help your
parent/relatives [killing pig/cow], Paren't won't
understand a thing coming out of his mouth, your parent
won't get that respond "Err tuaj os" when you go visit
them and they're welcoming you two, don't know our
culture/tradition probably don't even know us HMONG. AND
your image won't be the same with your PARENT, RELATIVES,
Nor the Hmong community [it's worse when not successful]


Hmong Girl: marry to handsome Hmong guy

PROS: Have a long a$$ Hmong wedding ceremony AND all relatives will know us even if they're back in Laos/Thailand and they're happy for YOU, Us guy can
help your parent when visiting them, talk to your dad
[language he can understand] even if it's not clearly
spoke, your parent have a real "Vauv" to called like other
Hmong parent [instead something they can't pronoun
"son-in-law Joe"], Can eat rice everyday, watch hmong
movie, talk in hmong/english, cute hmong babies, helps
from relatives sometime[not$],

CONS: Hmm...On occurrence, us guy might eat first, we want
at least a boy[ if no boy keep on trying]. It's hard to
think of the cons for us guy if you marrry us, lol.

 

[zouaxiong]

i dont think there is anything wrong with dating other ethnic but as for me i still prefer a hmong guy due to language barrier and "hmong way of life".

i agree with you Mov4u,....
--> "Most of girl is saying AS LONG AS THEY/WE LOVE EACH OTHER then it doesn't matter right, but that's isn't true for everyone since some date other race because of education so reason is FINANCE SECURITY."
....i believe that (finance security) is the reason why majority of the girl break up with their bf. ...love happens where money is seen...

it is true, isabellavang, as you finish up college there are less and less hmong guys. but i think that if you really love someone education shouldnt be a problem. im currently dating a hmong guy who only finish hs and have a job just like my parents and im in college but i have no problem with him. hes not pulling me down, the only one that can pull you down is yourself. he encourage me to do good in school all the time. i feel that if you both truly love eachother, with or without education/money, you are able to give eachother their wish and provide for the family.

 

[madalia3]

i think there is nothing wrong with dating other ethnicities as long as u two love each...u should care wat other people think...not everyone in this world are the same...and u should do wat u believe in not wat others believe in...even if we're hmong...we dont have to marry some hmong dude unless we love them

 

[jjinxx]

People have their own opinions and ways of thinking but honestly, and this shouldn't sound corny at all, lol,
if you really love someone there's no point in wishing they were the same as you...I don't know, it's obvious that the older generations might not be as comfortable because they're not used to it, but for me, dating other ethnicity isn't a big deal. the person themself is more important than their culture or skin color. i'm saying i wouldn't care about their background or disrespect it, but it wouldn't keep me away from dating/loving someone different from me...

 

[masusanlee]

i really don't mind, but like some other people said, it's less complicated if you just date your own race and don't have to go through all of the sh*t talkers and all of that.. but to me, it's hard to like a hmong guy because all my life, i've only liked a hmong guy, and that crush didn't even last that long.. hmong guys just turn me off!!!......... well, most of them do...
i don't want to force myself because things come and go, and you can't stop it, but i also don't want to go through all that mess if i ever was to marry someone out of my race.. and yeah, my parents said NO!! lol..

 

[ddawbb]

btw, where have all the good hmong guys gone!

To answer your question: all the good hmong guys are married lol... only a few good ones are left..
That's why I got married young (16)... My hubby was 21...
If you are in college, look at how the guys and girls interact with each other and how they hang around each other... I wouldn't want to enjoy college and marry at the age of like, 25 or 26 with all those degrees but get married to a man who has done things unbenowest to me during his college times either.... that's a pro (in my opinion)

but anyway, about dating other ethnicities, I really have no opinion for those girls who are considering it.
Different people value different things, so it's basically their own loss and gain.

 

[koblo]

I was just wondering how our generations feel about this issue?? Whether you consider this bad thing or a good thing...for it or not...just your thoughts..i have my own opinions..but i'll be back to state mines...

Well I have dated someone out of my ethnicity and definitely saw the other side. I do not mind and I think that the older generation can adapt to it even though they do not accept it. You cannot really consider it a bad or good thing because that has nothing to do with dating another person out of your ethnic. More important is how two different individuals treat each other and help one another adapt to a their environment. That is just my opinion and my experience.

 

[nkaujhmooblauj]

let's just say....

LIFE IS TOO SHORT...
DON'T LIVE LIFE TRYING TO SATISFY OTHERS....

 

[koblo]

To answer your question: all the good hmong guys are married lol... only a few good ones are left..
That's why I got married young (16)... My hubby was 21...
If you are in college, look at how the guys and girls interact with each other and how they hang around each other... I wouldn't want to enjoy college and marry at the age of like, 25 or 26 with all those degrees but get married to a man who has done things unbenowest to me during his college times either.... that's a pro (in my opinion)

but anyway, about dating other ethnicities, I really have no opinion for those girls who are considering it.
Different people value different things, so it's basically their own loss and gain.

Honestly, young people who get marry young is a devastating thing. They have not experience life to the fullest and causing more dilemas. Good guys are everywhere =D Perhaps Hmong individuals need to adapt to being more independent and gain more knowlegde. No offense, but my older sister and all my cousins got married really young, and seeing their lives really upsets me. They are poor and overwhelmed especially if they have kids.

But it depends if you are lucky cause the marriage at a young age can work out successfully.