One Shot: Daughter: A Hmong Story 9/26

Kiachue1

FF Writer!! Love it!
HI guys it's been a long time hasn't it? LOL I know I haven't finish my other stories. But I've decided oneshots are probably better for me to start writing again. 
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One Shot: It’s Because I’m Missing You Today
 
Life is funny isn’t it? One day where happy and another were sad. I’m wondering where you are my love. At this moment in time, where are you that I’m missing you today? It’s been a long distance for us hasn’t it? Life’s been miserable without you don’t you think so? Aren’t you just so cruel to me haven’t you, my darling? How come I’m missing you today? You’ve been gone for so long haven’t you? I’ve learn to live without you haven’t I? Or is it just because today I’m missing you like crazy that I can’t stop thinking about you? This world is so cold to us, am I right? 
 
I still remember your shining black hair flowing in the wind. Your glamorous eyes that smiled so sweetly with admirable peach lips. Along with your fare golden pale skin. You were so sweet weren’t you? Weren’t we? And now I can barely remember your soft sweet voice. You’re only a memory to me now, everything about you have lost in me. And I know, I know that no matter how many times I see you again or even try you won’t come back to me. I know but I still can’t get over us just yet. How can I, we were once so in love weren’t we? But now, what happen to us that were like this? Was I too selfish that you left me for someone else? Or was I stupid not to have seen you were so miserable with me instead?
 
I never knew. Never knew, I treated you so bad. I never knew you were so sick of me. I NEVER KNEW. Why didn’t you speak up? Why didn’t you say anything to me? Why didn’t you get me straight so we could had work this out? I miss you. I miss you. I miss you today……..I miss you.
 
Huh! Look at me now. Pathetic! A loser. A nobody! Just look at me now girl, wouldn’t you be happy to see me so messed up.  Wouldn’t you want to see me drinking myself to death? You would be happy to see me so fucked up. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way at all. I’m a bi-polar fucked up aren’t I? You probably hate me more than you did when you left wouldn’t you? You will probably start laughing at me wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you! God, I’m so messed up I can’t even think straight anymore. 
 
What’s wrong with me, to be missing a women like you today? You left me! But why do I feel regret? You left me. You left me……. Shouldn’t you be the one regretting? Shouldn’t you be the one? I just don’t understand, why I’m missing you. I don’t understand........
 
As I stand here, this porch light, this street......I can see her. Cassie. She's walking out of her apartment now and as she takes the trash out of her front door she spots me while throwing her trash away into the dumpster. Her gaze meets mine, while I stare back at her. She's speechless for a moment but in the distance, someone else caught her attention. A man stood outside her door waiting for her and for once she smiles up at the other man and forgets about me. Her man, her husband reaches out for her hand and helps her back into the house and they walk together back up the stairs where I can see her through the window. In arms link together, she kisses him passionately and now I know. She will never hate me but she will also never come back to me. She has moved on to a better man, way better than me. Someone who could protect her and give her a house. A warm bed to sleep in and a home cook meal. She has a man who could give her love and respect. Maybe that was one of the things I couldn't give her and so I move from my spot and finally leave, this time I'm making sure I never come back here again. She deserves to be happy and I shouldn't make it complicated for her, no matter how much I miss her. For today, it's because I'm missing her and It'll be my last.
 
 
 
 

keylargo

sarNie Oldmaid
Hi kiki
Thanks for this despite you're so busy. Its sad for this type of departure, painful yet got to face the truth. Take care and I appreciate your time writing this, key
 

Kiachue1

FF Writer!! Love it!
I was inspired by a video and remember about my ethnicity. I am hmong and remember that being born a girl will never be the same as being born as a son. This story is only half-truths to my story, but for some other ppl it is a true story. Enjoy.

Daughter: OneShot

The world is funny isn’t it? In this place, in this moment in time, some traditions never change. In my world where a girl is born into a family, a hmong family of mine, a girl is not seen as important as a son. However, being born a daughter has its ups and downs. Am I happy being a daughter? At times I was. At times I wasn’t. I was taught at a young age to learn the traditions of becoming a women and taking care of what will soon be called, a husband and his family. I would be their daughter in law in the future if I was to marry off into another hmong household. Once marry, a daughter could never go back to her house. It was require a shame, a hmong girl will avoid at all times. No matter what, after a divorcement has been made, no matter how good or nice she may be, she will be looked down upon on.
Growing up was the hardest. Being a girl, I wanted to impress my parents. Like any other kids, you would want your parents to have their attention on you. But sadly being born a women, I wasn’t as important as being a son, a man.


I cooked. I clean. I took care of the chores and any household items as I was taught to never complain. I was fine with it, I was grateful to my parents and wanted their happiness. But upon watching a son grow into a man and disappointing their own parents. I could only do so much but watch. No matter what, a daughter will always love their parents but for me I could never watch them grow old. I couldn’t take care of them as I would had wanted too. I could not give them the desires to them and give them happiness as a son would. I was included as a daughter but as an outsider.

All I could do was watch. My brothers, they took their lives for granted. They didn’t know how much they meant. They wouldn’t know how many tears they brought upon their parents faces. While I wipe those tears away, I could only wish, “why wasn’t I born a son?” While I watch disappointment after time again and again. It hurt, watching those bitter tears.

When time grew near, it was already my turn. My wedding ring through my ears, and before I knew it, it was time for me to leave my home I grew up in. As they dragged me away, I saw the look on my mother’s faces. Tears running down her pale cheeks, she couldn’t look at me leave. I walked up to her, bringing down my own tears as I wiped her tears away and I say, “mom……I’m sorry I wasn’t born a son, too look after you and watch you grow old and repay you for raising me up. I wasn’t able to take care of you properly and now I’m leaving to start my own life without you by my side.”

All she did was look at me unable to speak. She patted my head, hugged me and then I knew it was time for me to leave. My husband came to my side and slowly started to pull me away from my mom. I held onto her hand unable to leave. I felt sorry.

I started to cry more and more as they ushered me away. My mom didn’t watch me leave. She couldn’t face me anymore. I was no longer their daughter, I was my husband’s wife, there new daughter-in-law. I was now there daughter instead.

I wish….I hope and plead that my brothers will learn to love our parents. They are and were known to be the root of the house and now that I’m gone, I really wish I could have given my parents a lifetime of happiness. I hope my brothers learn………
 

keylargo

sarNie Oldmaid
Thanks Kiki, very touching. Tradition is so deep can't change. Its so hard being borned female but how lovingly sweet girls will think of their parents especially attachment to their moms. Never returning to the family after marriage that is so sad. Spend as much time as possible with parents, favourite siblings, cos once married it seems impossible.

Thank you for sharing Kiki, understanding a little of another culture makes me feel lucky. I hope you'll be too. With appreciation, key
 
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