"Old Hmong Men married young girls from Laos"

Discussion in 'Hmong' started by slee00, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    After reading about these rape victims and their stories...I have another issue that has been bothering me for a long time now...The issue was about the Hmong American keep going back to Laos and marrying very young Hmong girls from over there...creating a lot of issues heartache for their existing wives and kids and family in the US.

    I know that the Hmong people over there really want their aughter to come to this country and would do anything even offering their daughters to any Hmong American that arrived at the airport...But I am seeing that the Hmong American Men are taking advantage of this time to abuse the young girls....

    I have seen so many cases....One of the case was this old guy ( must be in his late 50s) who has a great family here...four children ...two boys and two girls...they are all college students over 18...great kids...and the dad was a mentor to many younger kids too...but he happened to visit laos one day and married this young girl who was only 15 years old! His current wife would not release or sign the "pretend" divorce papers so he started to abuse her and his children...their lives is now chaot everyday....

    Another case ....and old man ( olden than dirt! 60s) went over there and got hooked with a young girl so his old wife moved back to her family...now their children and grandchildren are all mad at him.

    I did hear of this case where this Hmong American man went to visit Laos and his Hmong people...he was a clean guy and has great passion for helping out Hmong people...and when young girls were offered to him...he pointly refused saying he already has a wife and family back at the US...

    Whenever I hear of a family being destroy because this issue, I get so mad!
  2. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

    Freaking old pervs...gosh, and those girls are like their granddaughther's ages...I have no respect for men like these...shoot, with all that money to buy themselves young wives, they'd rather be preparing for their funeral...sorry, this sounds harsh...BUT...it just pisses me off!!!
  3. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    I know how you feel!
  4. paxiong04

    paxiong04 sarNie Egg

    ohh yea i noe... my aunt just came to the US to work. the day she got here they called and said that an old hmong american guy wanna merry her daughter she was hella mad but in the end they let her marry him... but you laydees for got about the hmong women going to marry young guys there too... i noe some people who went there and married young guys.... ewwwwwwwww.....
  5. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

    Are you for reals? What kind of crap is this? Those old ladies are stupid...they know those young boys are only after their money...I understand that old people need companions too, but this is not the right way to find happiness...Gosh...one time my friends and I went to the club and saw these old Hmong couples getting their freaks on...OMFG...what a scene!!! It's ok for old people to go out and have some fun...but then they were all busting out PDA's...the old ladies were in skirts and bright a** make-up...the youngest lady were showing the other ones how to dance...HAHA...

    Oh and this actually happened to me...my advisor from high school saw me at the club and tried to hit on me...he just got divorced...he's like freaking 35 or something like that...he was like..."wow you look so different and all grown up!!!"...then gave me his card and said "here, call me sometimes, I would love to take you to dinner...or let me get your number." It's so disturbing cause I know his wife and I've met all his FOUR kids!!! And then about a month later, I saw his wife at the same club with this guy...they were holding hands and dancing...she was in a skirt and a skanky top...it didn't come out intentionally, but the first thing I said to her was "where are your kids?" Haha...
  6. nancyvang

    nancyvang sarNie Adult

    Look at it from both point of view. It's not just the old prevs. But the younger lady themselve who thinks they can make a living in the US by marrying the guy and later divorce him after they recieve the citizenship papers.

    I've seen my friends family torn apart because of a girl in Laos. Their friend's dad hook him up with a young girl from Laos. And my friend showed me the letters she would write every now and then to her father. It just makes me mad. She was comparing herself to "Nkauj Nog" and saying she doesn't have anything and that she rely on the guy to send her stuff and blah blah.

    In my mind, if she doesn't have anything how come she could get a piece of paper and a pen to write the darn letter.
  7. st_nba

    st_nba sarNie Juvenile

    I don't think it's just Hmong men going back to marry younger girls or even old hmong women going back to marry younger men. I know plenty of Khmer people who do it too. Most of the people over there are pretty desperate and want to make a better living here...so they are going to do whatever it takes to get here, even if it means marrying someone much older and someone they don't really know and love. Yes, many families are being destroyed because of this.

    My dad's friend went to Cambodia and somehow met my cousin over there and wanted to marry her. My dad's friend didn't even know that was my dad's niece. What a small world huh? My dad's brother called and ask my dad if he should let his daughter get married with someone from America. My dad asked about the guy and what his name was and stuff. Found out that it was his friend. He is freaking 60 and he wanted to marry my 20 year old cousin. 40 years part, how disgusting. Of course, my dad told his brother NO. Oh and the guy never found out that she was my dad's niece.

    A little over 6 years ago, my uncle went to Cambodia and married someone there too. My uncle is now 36 and my auntie is 26. 10 years part, I can work with that, plus she loves us. Especially me. ^_^

    I find it disgusting to marry someone old enough to be your father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother, but it should still be okay if both parties had no strings attached, meaning no families that they are leaving behind unless it is official that they have seperated and no one is cheating just to be with this other person. Seen it happen too many times.
  8. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    happiness is not marrying a young girl 14 years old that you cant take care of! Esp when you are in 50s!
  9. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

    Man...those young girls are so inconsiderate...they know they are tearing families apart, and yet, they still marry the old guys...this remind me of that one hmong song by PNY...where this laos girl called and the guy's wife answered the phone...my sister sings it a lot...haha...it's not really a song, it's "paj huam" with music...haha...

    It goes something like this...

    wife: "haylo"
    Laos girl: "Pov puas nyob lawm os, kuv yuav nrog Pov tham os"
    wife: "es koj hu qhov twg tuaj na"
    Laos girl: "kuv hu tim nplog teb tuaj os"
    wife: "es koj muaj dab tsi hais rau Pov os"
    Laos girl: "ob hnub ntawm i Pov hais rau kuv tias Pov yuav los saib kuv no es, kuv ho tsis nco qab noog tias Pov yuav txog lub sij hawm twg es kuv thiaj li paub mus tom nws"
    wife: "es koj txawm yog Pov tus luas nkauj los"
    Laos girl: "yog mam"
    wife: "es tus niam hluas aw, koj paus paub tias Pov twb muaj poj niam lawm na"
    Laos girl: "ab, kuv tsis paub as, nws hais rau kuv tias nws tseem luas nraug xwb no"
    wife: "yog li ntawv ces koj txhob rawm khwb xov tooj es kuv qhia koj as tsis tso nawb!!"

    Then she starts..."nkauj hmoob nplog koj tws tsis paub, txhob saub saub sab tim ko tuaj...etc..."

    It's hella tight...haha
  10. Fearless

    Fearless sarNie Adult

    If they want a companion, at least find one their own age for God's sake, instead of taking advantage of these young girls. These young girls are just like their daughters or granddaughters. It's just so sick! How would they feel if an old guy did that to their daughter? I can never understand how those girls are that desperate enough to marry an old guy just to come to the US. If that's happiness for them, then I feel sorry for them. And for the old women who goes over there to marry young boys, that's even gross. What are they thinking? To think about it, the old guys don't even want the old women, what makes the young guys want the old women? I can never understand these people's minds. I think all the old guys that goes over there to marry young girls should get busted and get sent to jail. This needs to stop! It's child molestation!
  11. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    Fearless....I am so angry when I read of this....is there way we can report them to the authority?
  12. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

    Fearless...you said it!!! It's child molestation!!! Freaking pervs!!!
  13. yajvaj

    yajvaj sarNie Adult

    well i find it disgusting also!! but here is one that is new to me! my sister-in-law's mother went to Laos and married to a 23 year old guy when she is like 57 years old they got married and couple of months after she got back to the USA they wrote the 57 year old grandma that his young husband died...she went back a year later and got married to another young dude who is around 25 he got a first wife and the 57 grandma is the 2nd wife...she goes back and forth to Laos and USA...i find this disgusting also!!!
  14. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

  15. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    Some Hmong people are so crazy! That's nasty! IF i am so unhappy and so lonely and wants effectionate...I would separate from whatever current tie I am in and find someone I care deeply about...I wont go get another younger man from Laos...They dont take showers nor do they brush their teeth! eeeewwwwhhhhhhhh...no kissing here!

    Relationships are hard...it takes time and loving and nourishing to make it work....
  16. anjos

    anjos Guest

    I know..... I just hate it..... it very very disgusting........ after my mother in law pass away.... my father in law went to loas and get marry.... he's like 50 something and she is 22...... that is just wrong.... he marred to someone who's younger than his own son...... everytime when my husband call her mom.... it just feel weir.... I dont know how he did it......he is older and she is younger...... I find it very disgusting and soooo wrong when hmong people from here go and marry younger people from loas...... :p ;)
  17. YM_gurl

    YM_gurl sarNie Oldmaid

    i don't only blame them old guys over here...i blame them young girls over there too....

    they're hella desperate to come to the U.S that they will do anything.. such as married an old guy.. (GROss me out!)
  18. nekoyuyu

    nekoyuyu sarNie Egg

    I have an issue with that too. i was talking with my sister's guy friend, and we were talking about an issue nowaday.. He was telling me about cases where american men goes to poorer world country...they said they were goin to married these young teenagers, but that's lied... these teenage girls were taken to the US to become sex salve...

    In my mutliculture gender studies, the professor talks how marriage is another forms of prosutution...

    Either way I have to pity those girl who got lied to and those who are being engaged in a marriage with someone as old as thier grandpa.
  19. slee00

    slee00 sarNie Adult

    It is so sad that the young girls think their lives will change once they are in this country...but once they stuck with an old guy...and come to this country...they are stucked forever! I have a friend who's dad was over 50 and he married to a 17 year old girl...they even have 2 kids....see the old guy already have grown children and grandchildren...now he was raising two little kids of his.....so sad that his wife was younger than his yougest son and just a little older than his eldest grand daughter...Now the young wife got really tire of this old guy but she cant do anything....even now he went back to Laos and got himself another younger girl since his other wife is 22!!! I wish there are something we can do to stop this! This man is just plain nasty! makes me mad!
  20. nekoyuyu

    nekoyuyu sarNie Egg

    2 slee00--->

    These is a insperational subject.. Okay, I know that most of the people here are in their teen... slee00, you can make a difference in this world by:

    go to college, get to know grant writer, and write a grant to prevent worldwide child molesting, and child abuse. This is the only way to help prevent child molesting. Also, the motive behind these young people who are marring old man, is because they want to make a different in thier life. In order to prevent these childrens (young teens) from engaging into marriage is sponsered them to study in the united state, (with a decent education in the US, they can go back to Loas and get a better paid job, plus, they can now commuicate in a worldwide language)...of course you can get a grant.

    According to my knowlegde, there are thousand of grants out there waiting for the right person to get a hold of it.

    Why am I giving you this idea? Because I see that you are motivated, and that you want to do something about it.

    I am too, motivated by the idea of educating hmong children from other country (Thailand, Loas, China), and I am seeking a grant to help me built up an non-profit organization to help teach english and educate hmong children who reside outside of the united of state. Right now I am a poor college student, who is in the process of getting my degree...I also know that there are many hmong children in the united of state who are in need of additional help with thier education, but they are being taken care of by the states and the fed.

    If you ever decided to take this idea and work on it, I will be willing to help in any degree. My knowlegde of free grant is relatively new, and I am reading and gathering information about grant writing, and orgazining an non-profit organization. My motivate is a long term things, so rgith now I am working on my short term goal...I am projecting my project to be effected in four to five years from now.

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