k to start off i'm not greedy, nor i make a lot of $, caring , considerate even let my brother and sister borrow 1 to 2k but never paid me back. but of course u would feel guilty right. He's the first nephew i have taken care of him when he's a baby up to 6 yrs. i was a young aunt more than the other nephews/nieces so i feel more connected. He lives with his grandpa and grandma. His father also lives there too about 40 but still dont work not responsible. His mom (my older sis) even though she works but she's outgoing and irresposible of a motherly figure. He mostly get want he wants cus my sis would buy them stuffs, toys, expensive items give money not cus they earn it. u know the easy way out right. so I feel like my nephews/nieces from this sis don't know what the meaning of money/values. Whenever I see him it saddens me cus he doesn't grow up the right way. hanging with the wrong crowds, smoking and prob. weed and drinking too. not going to school nor working yet. He's 17-18yrs. it breaks my heart cus i take care of him. I know there others are worst position than him but he shouldn't allow that bad stuffs into his life. i told him to stop smoking, do something good for himself like school but he said he's stressed out of course excuse. His parents arent involved in his life. Today he asked me $20 but i said it's too much that the job is slow cut back hours, people got laid off and he's understood. I didn't want to give $20 cus the next time if i see him it probably be a habit besides i'm afraid he's spending on something like cigar which i don't like. He said he wanted to save which i didn't say nothing. but i feel sad so i just say i'll give u $5 and at first he said it's ok no but i offer only $5 and he did take it. $5 can't buy much stuffs but i don't want to think that he'll buy on something unuseful. money doesn't come easy like how his mom would always do give $ to her kids all the time. so u guys think? feel bad but i only want my nephew to go into the right direction but i know he wont. if i would be stronger and more responsible i could do better and could change his life i kind of feel bad for being weak.
nephew asking for $
- Thread starter little
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anan
sarNie Adult
I was in a similar situation when helping my cousin.... i lent him slowly like up to 1000k,,, i expected like u, that he will change one day and become someone good, responsible & reliable.... etc.... but i realised later that I was wrong... 2 months ago, i said it was the last time i helped him.
I think it's important to set a limit to our kindness... Money doesn't grow on tree.!
Family environment & education are important to give the right starting direction (and not keep spoiling).... If this failed... the problem of bad influence,,, drugs, gangsters etc usually appears....
Don't expect the others to change, if they want to change, it must come from themselves. Just wait to see by urself.
and don't feel bad or weak... becos it's not your fault... it's simply his life that he is slowly wasting....
I think it's important to set a limit to our kindness... Money doesn't grow on tree.!
Family environment & education are important to give the right starting direction (and not keep spoiling).... If this failed... the problem of bad influence,,, drugs, gangsters etc usually appears....
Don't expect the others to change, if they want to change, it must come from themselves. Just wait to see by urself.
and don't feel bad or weak... becos it's not your fault... it's simply his life that he is slowly wasting....
7270
7270
Don't feel bad about it. In my family, you're not even supposed to ask for money unless it's really necessary. It's ok if you see the kid working hard, and you want to give him some money to help him along in life. But in your nephew's case, it doesn't seem to be that way. Giving him money would just be like you're supporting the way he's living his life.
my uncle is the only one who ask me for money. he's like 5 years older than me. he's unemploy and i a divorcee. the first time he aske me for money i gave it to him, considering he's my uncle afterall. then the next week he came back and ask for more. i didn't want to give it to him, but i feel bad for him, so i gave him like 40. the next day he call me and asky me to go pump gas for him at the gas station. i didn't have time and i was on my way to work, so i figure i'll help him in case i might need his help in the future. i found out that he ran out of gas cuz he's been roaming around town picking up girl. so that's the last time i gave him money. all the money that he said he would pay back, i've never receive them. i'm his neice afterall, i should be asking money from him not the other way around. so then on, whenever he ask me for money i'll be like i need to help my parents pay thier bill (which is true) so he'll back off. i don't even earn enough for me and to share with my siblings, why would i give him money to go play around with girls. i hate those kind guys. i still think i did the right thing by not giving him money. he's 25 and my older uncle still spoil him. i think it's time he finds a job and get a life. he can't eat off his family forever. that's not what a ture men would do. even though i don't give him money that doesn't mean that i don't love him. i just want him to know that money can't be find easily, some people work their butt off just to make a living.
wow u must be young like 20 yrs and divorcee at a young age huh? must be hard. hate guys who are irresponsible. it'll be hard for my nephew to change his life it must be up to himself. my older bro was at 1 time being low like on drugs but he change his life around. working and savings responsible good thoughts like he went to my uncle funeral to give respects to him when this uncle lives in nebraska and while my bro lives in alaska.
naw. i'm still single. never married before.