My preview of life:

Discussion in 'Hmong' started by nkaujhmoob08, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. nkaujhmoob08

    nkaujhmoob08 sarNie Adult

    Hello people again,
    I want to share you the preview life of me.
    And it's going to be very short.
    So don't mind me.

    -I had a terrible struggle in my life, there's no signification to help out
    -each day is moving fast along with the years, and I am still the same
    -people are killing times at work and school, why am I here
    -the beautiful universe makes me wonder and why, with the sadness in my heart
    -there has been alot of time that I suffered and I felt so low, so does my knee
    -a quick imagination popped in my head, it's so hard to see in the future, imagining where can I be
    -no one feel/see me at all, that's the hard part I have to sacrifice myself
    -tears falling and my heart felt painful, I lost control, all I can do to make me happy is praying
    -a dream came to me and spoke "dear, don't be scared. I am here." I woke up wondering
    -there's never a great day, all i do is laugh for some reason and trying to do things to keep me away of being worried, i see it was good but lame
    -I tried few new things, it kind of working, but then I got lazy, I can't keep up of what I was planning, then I pushed me again

    share yours
     
  2. yaksoh

    yaksoh sarNie Juvenile

    not to be mean

    u wanna live badly
    but if u ever choose to commit suicide
    i'm 100% with you
    meaning i encourage
    just to don't blame me or haunt me
     
  3. nkaujhmoob08

    nkaujhmoob08 sarNie Adult

    I had never (plan) to commit a suicide but I have thought about it but not in a desperately way to the part where they could put themselves in the sense of doing it. LMAO! scary!! If you die, it won't solve anything? so useless right there.. we still have plenty of option so I'm going to fight for it. =)
     
  4. yaksoh

    yaksoh sarNie Juvenile

  5. pink_juliet_kashie

    pink_juliet_kashie sarNie Oldmaid

    Thats a load of bullcrap rite there...how dare you suggest something like that to anyone
    and esp. someone feeling so low, you should be a shame of yourself

    nkaujhmoob08,
    Ok sweetheart, I don't know what is going on in your life at this very moment,
    don't answer me, this is a rhetoric reply...I want to tell you
    that at this very moment of my life, I am at the lowest point of
    my life, I've never felt this low before...but I know and acknowledged
    that I dug this hole that I am in, and for you, need to admit to yourself
    what have you done and NOT done that have kept you where you are,
    I know no one can live this life alone, but at the end of the day,
    you have to fend for yourself, you have to pull yourself out of that
    place that you are in, if you don't no one will be able to do it,
    go volunteer for or work for an organization that you believe in,
    give back to ppl, it'll bring up your spirit
     
    kialakornlover likes this.
  6. yaksoh

    yaksoh sarNie Juvenile

    to pink_juliet_kashie: wow!
    but i actually don't feel ashame at all
    i'm just going w/ reality
    while u're going w/ common sense
    in serious issues like this
    i'm damn serious

    if u're offended, no comment
    cuz i can't stop pplz from thinking what they're think
     
  7. nancyvang

    nancyvang sarNie Adult

    Yaksoh. I just thought it as reverse psychology.

    Of course Committing Suicide ran in our thoughts once in everyone's life time, sometimes people come to a point where they feel no one cares if they live or die. It's an act of wanting attention. But don't live for others, live for yourself.

    There's many things to come in the future, if you end your life you'll never see it what technology can do. I'm still waiting to see flying cars.
     
  8. Vamkim

    Vamkim sarNie Juvenile

    This world is so dark now a days. I'm not dead or alive, I'm trap in between. No matter how far I go, its always there. The memories are holding me back. I fake a smile so no one know's. I said I'm doing okay, but the pain is in my heart. People ask why do I look sick, I would tell them because the weather is changing in time. Because blood has been dripping day by day. I said to my self that I'm going to be okay but I will never know because the reaper has been wanting to take my soul. I promise myself I will be strong but when I hear her voice, my tears came running down. She don't know how much I love her, how much I care. She will never know because she have found happiness for herself. I dont blame her because it's her choice. I can't let go because I love her. All I do is hold on to hope. When this heart stops beating, then the love I have will go away but it will never dissappeared.

    Don't think about committing siucide. I have been there. When your dead, you dont know anything and no feelings will get to you, but you will be a memory to the ones who care for you. Sleeping for eternal and letting go of everything is not so bad. But, don't do it because you have peoples who cares! It breaks their heart to see you close your eyes forever. Committing siucide is a selfish act. That's why I didn't die because there was someone who still wanted to meet me in this time.
     
  9. rainie_vang

    rainie_vang sarNie Juvenile

    *laugh* well, I'm pretty sure everybody
    had thought about suicide one way or another.
    ...but I think it's better to be strong.
    Think of those people who suicides as
    losers and weak. Don't be a loser...Be a winner!



    btw; i think it has to do w/the weather
    and the people around you... avoid them
    for a while if you can.
     
  10. Riley_Taeo

    Riley_Taeo sarNie Egg

    Live, love and laugh.
     
  11. pangiaxiong

    pangiaxiong sarNie Adult

    I agree with Nancy that everyone does have suicide thought once in their life time, and to me, for a person to be able to express it out IS SO MUCH BETTER...b/c that way there will be others who can help that person. Keep suicide thought inside you will eventually destroy you, once there's too much pressure building inside your head.

    I once whined about wanting to die b/c I got into an argument with my younger brother. He had just finished high school and told everyone that he isn't planning on going to college. I knew it was his choice but b/c he was the first older son in our family, [knowing that us girls won't be living with our parents for long, thu he have to take care of them] I told him that he could just take a couple of basic classics and could still go to work part time. Also, I knew that he will get bad influence from our step-brother[ who does drugs, hangs with the wrong crowd all the time, a wanna be gangster and so on] if he doesn't keep a busy schedule. We argued for a few minutes and since I'm always a smart mouth, he couldn't win against me and took two punch to my face. Yeap, it a sad day for a brother to hits a sister like that. I was so mad and also the fact that my parents were there but they couldn't do anything b/c they didn't want to offend their first son pissed me off more. So I was crying and telling my older sister that I just want to kill myself, that there was really no pointing in living and so this is what she said to me.

    "Pangia, why do you want to die so much. You know that you worked so hard to stay alive. You were once a little sperm, fighting your way with the other sperms to get to the egg, most sperms dies before getting to the egg but not you...you stayed alive..you wanted to live so bad. And finally when you reached that egg, you have to fight your way into it with the other sperms too. You stayed 9 months in your mother tummy, waiting to come into this world and yet when you do...you wanted to die? that doesn't make sense. Even if life is hard, stay strong and fight your way through just like you did when you're still that little sperm :D"

    lol...it was a funny but very true story. Nowadays whenever I get into argument or have feel let down, no suicide thought enter my mind...thanks to my sister :D
     
  12. ceda_lee

    ceda_lee sarNie OldFart

    Okay...now I'm going to be harsh.

    Girl...that whole list clearly indicates that you are seriously depressed. For your own sake, you should consult a doctor.
     

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