married women at the clubs

pink-lily

sarNie Hatchling
I don't see anything wrong with a married woman going to the club, if she have good intention and just tagging along with friends to have fun, it's okay....it all depends what that person have in mind, if they want to cheat, then they will, but if they don't then they won't, but on the other hand going to often can cause trouble in a relationship, so i think the amount of times going should depend too....LOL it all depends on the person and their action...

but you know, we're Hmong; so to the older generation it's not really a good thing to go too often, right?

but me personally, nah...it's not a big deal until it starts becoming one big deal....hahahaha
 

simplysweet

Simplysweet
II think it's BAD. These days, anything can happen. Of course everyone knows their limits. For an example, she knows her limits but the guy doesn't. If that guy wants to use her and make her life hell. he will get her and use her ass. I think married women who goes clubbing shouldn't. the reason u r married is to be mature and be a wife to your husband. marriage life is about spending time together not party and get wild. I think if you still wanna go clubbing and show off your ass then don't get marry. I see a lot of women crave for clubs and divorce. NOT GOOD. I don't want to offend anyone but that's my opinion.
I also disagree on this…..True anything can happen and some guys don’t know their limits. But still!. When a woman has to defend herself and just say it flat out that she is married and just out with her friends she’s gotta do it! Not all woman are scared and weak to the extent where they will let some guy lead them to cheat on their husbands. Some may..but not ALL..these days and in this society im sure girls are educated enough to know what they are doing. We live a different life and in a different world.

When you get married you are expected to be mature, be a wife, and be responsible…BUT that doesn’t mean ALL your priorities are to him..well UNLESS you have kids. NO ONE can speak for a married woman but herself. Unless you have been in her shoes and is married than that’s another thing. But there is still a line drawn in between you and those other married womans. My married friends go clubbing with all of my girl friends sometimes and they do NOT wear clothes that show off their ass…They even go out clubbing with their sister in laws and aunts... I think as long as they know who they are going with and if their husbands know where they are going than that’s good enough. As long as SHE lets her husband know when she’s leaving, to where and when she will be back before she steps out that door than that should be good enough.
 

SuabCoobThoj

sarNie Egg
I wonder why the divorce rates are so much higher in the larger Hmong communities... :blink:

Unless the couple go together, I recommend not going by one's self or with friends. If he/she still enjoys a party lifestyle, then avoid marriage... plain and simple.
 

narmfon

sarNie Hatchling
I think being married doesn't mean you change all of your priorities.. I don't get why some Asian communities think that men are god and every women should bow down... Seriously!!?? Women are human too... Not only that being married doesn't cut off excitement and your social life. If the "wify" is going out with her friends and grinding/penetrating on other guys than sure, she should not do stuff like that because it's immoral and she is cheating on her man. But if she's with her girlfriends/sister/in-law...etc hubby and not dancing with strange ppl getting it on;on the dance floor then that's ok... It's all in perspective... some people are just too old fashion!!
 

SuabCoobThoj

sarNie Egg
I think being married doesn't mean you change all of your priorities.. I don't get why some Asian communities think that men are god and every women should bow down... Seriously!!?? Women are human too... Not only that being married doesn't cut off excitement and your social life. If the "wify" is going out with her friends and grinding/penetrating on other guys than sure, she should not do stuff like that because it's immoral and she is cheating on her man. But if she's with her girlfriends/sister/in-law...etc hubby and not dancing with strange ppl getting it on;on the dance floor then that's ok... It's all in perspective... some people are just too old fashion!!
Being married doesn't mean you have to change your priorities, but you have to adjust your lifestyle. If one cannot manage that, then he/she should stay single until they can bare the responsibilities of a marriage life. You also mentioned that this issue is a matter of one's perspective, so you saying that "Asian communities think that men are god and every women should bow down" is quite ironic don't you think? Doesn't seem like you try to understand the opposition's perspective before criticizing...
 

narmfon

sarNie Hatchling
Being married doesn't mean you have to change your priorities, but you have to adjust your lifestyle. If one cannot manage that, then he/she should stay single until they can bare the responsibilities of a marriage life. You also mentioned that this issue is a matter of one's perspective, so you saying that "Asian communities think that men are god and every women should bow down" is quite ironic don't you think? Doesn't seem like you try to understand the opposition's perspective before criticizing...
I did try to understand that's why I oppose that It is wrong if the women are actually cheating on their husband. Why isn't there a thread on "Should men go clubbing after they get married?" It sounds a little sexist when we're only talking about women going out clubbing and not understanding that if men do it they should have the same criticisms.
I'm just for equal rights and opportunity and I don't like it when only one party is at fault when both party is able to commit the same "crime"

Seriously, let me paint a picture....

The women and her friends are going to the bar/night club drinking and dancing with each other while the husband is at home so call hanging out with his children etc and everyone pity him because he's at home taking care of his children and being responsible.. and as for the girl, she will get criticize for being a whore, going out fucking around with her friends and being a selfish/irresponsible/unlovable mom. Do you realize that if this role was reverse all the women get is sympathy and no one will do shit about it. And you know she won't leave him because he is the bread winner of the family.

So, in this case lets just say that both women and men who decided to get married should not go clubbing without their other mate or should not go at all if they have children because it would only be fair to the children and to their marriage.

My view on a relationship is there should be boundaries, respect and trust. Two people should be able to communicate and decide what kind of relationship they want to have. they should not let other people ie: parents/siblings/society/religions/tradition/ and all those other factors dictate their relationship. IF the crowd has more voices then there's no trust and if there is no trust why the heck would people get married in the first place.

But my theory doesn't apply to all situation. Some people get forced to marry... (seriously what century is this??!! Force marriage should not happen anymore no matter what the circumstances are!!) Maybe because the love and trust wasn't there in the first place that's why either the husband or wife have to find an enjoyment and release elsewhere... so, lets not judge just one lady or one men when we don't know the whole truth to decide weather it is reasonable to say that married women should not go clubbing after she got married.

This thread seem to come from one person problems to why she decides to go clubbing and how irresponsible she is for leaving her children (if any is present) and it doesn't have any rights to round all the married women into the same circle and say that they're bad ppl for going clubbing.

Instead of talking about how irresponsible women are for going clubbing after they get married lets talk about something else.. Like irresponsible parents abusing their children mentally and physically/ doing drugs/ violence in the home/educating their children/saving the environment... just my 2 cent!
 

pyh

sarNie Elites
In our town and i won't say where, there were three married women (in their late 20's)they are best friends too and so are the husbands. the husbands started letting them go to clubs by themselves. this probably went on for a few years and finally one of the husband found out that his wife was having an affair with I think a cambodian guy. and it was said that she met this guy at the club. who knows how long its been going on. the husband kicked her out of the house and told her to call the guy to come and pick her up. she didn't want to leave but have no choice and finally called the boyfriend so he came and picked her up. they are divorced now and he's got the kids(i think they have two or three kids). she's with the boyfriend now. the funny thing is the other two women claimed not to know that she was having an affair. and she was working at the same place with one of the other women too. i think all three were having an affair but just one was caught. or the other two knew for sure that she was having an affair. it would be unbelievable that they would go everywhere together and to the clubs and only one would go off somewhere to have an affair and the other two would not know about it. they're all in this together. but anyway, yeah, i think married women should not go to clubs by themselves. if they go it should just be with the husbands. because some guys are gonna come up to you and ask you to dance. and of course you're not going to deny it all the time. you are there to have fun too. it'll be innocent dancing at first then one thing will lead to another. eventually, you are going to get attached to some guy.
 

masterhmoob

sarNie Egg
married and clubbing isn't really bad. just make sure that ur spouse is there with you and not to over do it if you have children.
However if you think that clubbing when ur married is okay without ur spouse, that is WRONG!
At a club, anything can happen. There are many people and at times people could inappropriately touch you. Your spouse would not like that!
and like others have said, don't get married if you still think of partying out with your girlfriends or guys with their guy friends.
And don't bring up trust, because trust will only lead to one person saying, "i trusted you!!!" :p LOL
GIVE your spouse all ur trust! just make sure to stick by their side when at the clubs or whatever....... if u know what i mean haha.
 

xoxcOcOxox

sarNie Hatchling
i don't think that this is an issue at all. I mean of course being married you do want to go out n have funn too so why not?? as long as you know what your doing then it's fine... just dont go over board...
 

miss_kayomee

sarNie Egg
i find nothing wrong with going out clubbing when married. my sister who is married goes out all the time her in-laws and friends. she just wants to get away from the stress at work and family. i think once in a while is fine, once you go every weekend it's kinda like your looking for someone else.

i have a friend who went out clubbing so much that it drove her husband to leave her, she kept cheating on him with the men at the club. so that is one example.
 
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