Lao tradition for funerals

[x3 1azngrl]

Ok my grandpa just recently died, and we had to do this ceremony for him...like most of the guys from within the family has to be a monk for one day. They have to shave there eyebrow and hair all off and then they go chant with the elder monks, it's like loosing all your bad sins and starting over again but for the girls they just had to put on something all white and tie there hair up. So they guys had to follow the elder monks around all day, and they have to chant all day long and cannot go near the girls...if the girls are on there way the girls are force to move away and let the monks go first. And if that's not worse enough yet, the young monks have to wear those golden robes around the whole day or until they bury or creamate the body...but the sitting parts sounds pretty hard for most of those that have to sit all day long.

yepyep, thats how they did it at my house when my grandpa died 4 years ago ='(

 

[swtaznlaogrl]

yea lao weddings are hardcore. I went to my grandma's wedding in Laos and it was like hardcore cooking day and nite for the monks and the ppl that would come voer to gamble everynite. And the fact that they kept the body in the house until the cremation kinda made it a bit creepy. And then watching the cremation in a big bonfire at the wat (temple) was really like hardcore hitting, i had never been to a cremation before done in front of me like that before, but it was really pretty and really sad. My grandma's coffin burned down really nicely, but the person's next to hers that was burning didnt quite stay in the fire which i thot was kinda freaky. I mean they do the real deal back in laos and not sum push of the button and go into a machine like they do here in the states.

O yea and another thing no one mentioned about lao funerals is that they throw out money to everyone at the end. Its suppose to be goodluck money.

But either way ive found Lao weddings to be waaaay more interesting then American weddings and they seem to be waaay more respectful.

 

[donna]

i've never been to a lao funeral before. it might also be because i go to church so the funerals that i've gone to are held at the funeral home and then the cemetery. when my friend's father died, i saw her mom put some food and water onto a serving platter and carry it out to a tree. she watered the tree and said some prayers. for the next few days she did the same thing again. i asked my mom why she does that and she says that its a way of feeding the deceased. i was like oh i never knew that!

 

[elmo]

I didn't know that you could choose NOT to be a nun. I did become a nun for the day when my dad passed. I didn't like the whole tradition of it all, we had monks chanting for 2 weeks and now I can't stand the sight of them. I would've preferred something simple, quick, and quiet. The things I really couldn't stand was the gossip and gambling that went on.

My mum goes to a lot of Lao funerals and helps out, and the people who attend are always hoping to win big money in an illegal lottery...sometimes they pick numbers of the house, d.o.b. and usually come out winners....

 

[iamnowhere]

Same here... I just wish it would be more simple and quiet.

 

[nophankh]

I didn't know that you could choose NOT to be a nun. I did become a nun for the day when my dad passed. I didn't like the whole tradition of it all, we had monks chanting for 2 weeks and now I can't stand the sight of them. I would've preferred something simple, quick, and quiet. The things I really couldn't stand was the gossip and gambling that went on.

My mum goes to a lot of Lao funerals and helps out, and the people who attend are always hoping to win big money in an illegal lottery...sometimes they pick numbers of the house, d.o.b. and usually come out winners....

Same here... I just wish it would be more simple and quiet.

I'm Lao and when my aunt died, we took pictures. Every lao funeral I been in, we took pictures. In our culture death is not something you should fear. Death happens to everyone. We mourn and celebrate it. I find it weird also, because I'm so westernized. But Hey, I still find it interesting.

 

[IRukYou]

Just out of curiosity, but what others Lao tradition do you follow for funeral?

Here is some tradition that I have seen, which seem funny, but there must be some logic behind it…

A least one person have to stay up the whole night, you can take turn each night till the funeral.

No sweeping the floors till the funeral.

No food can contain anything that is growing on vine or representing a rope, even noodles.

Washing your hand in a bucket of water set out at the cremation site.

Throwing wrap-up coins and watching everyone on the ground picking it up.

And of course, after the 100 days, they have the memorial ceremony.

 

[exp0]

I just hate folks gambling... the men are in the backyard playing 'mak-ka-lok', the women are inside the house playing cards.

We would usually hang out by a bunch of cars, sitting on them. Plus, I hate smoke so I try to avoid going in backyards to grab a bottle of water or food.

I would say it's kind of like other countries, where your loved ones does not want to see you sad, but to celebrate their death... kind of like they are coming back later on in your life... erm, karma?

 

[nophankh]

Just out of curiosity, but what others Lao tradition do you follow for funeral?

Here is some tradition that I have seen, which seem funny, but there must be some logic behind it…

A least one person have to stay up the whole night, you can take turn each night till the funeral.

No sweeping the floors till the funeral.

No food can contain anything that is growing on vine or representing a rope, even noodles.

Washing your hand in a bucket of water set out at the cremation site.

Throwing wrap-up coins and watching everyone on the ground picking it up.

And of course, after the 100 days, they have the memorial ceremony.

The last three we follow strictly. I'm not sure if this is correct, but a soul stays on earth for 100 days and needs to be feed before the next phrase. I forgot the meaning behind the coin wrapped in aluminum foil. I've never heard of the first four, but I wouldn't be surprise if laos people practiced it. As a culture, we have a lot of crazy rituals.

 

[SaoSophab]

I'm Lao and when my aunt died, we took pictures. Every lao funeral I been in, we took pictures. In our culture death is not something you should fear. Death happens to everyone. We mourn and celebrate it. I find it weird also, because I'm so westernized. But Hey, I still find it interesting.

I think the taking pictures part is weird. I mean, I find it very eerie to look at pictures of the dead laid in a coffin!! But I know its done to keep memories of the event.

 

[Liberty]

Eh...it's not that weird, I've been to plenty of funerals, maybe I just use to it.
Although I didn't think the shaving your head thing was mandatory. When my uncle died my other uncles and cousins didn't do that but my aunts and my mom did dress in all white. They didn't do the monk think though because my family is a mix of Christians and Buddhists so my aunts and mom wore white and they held the ceremony in church.

I did attend another ceremony where the men in that family did shave their head and became monks for a little while. They did the chanting and prayer thing at the decease home. It was just 5 guys in the family who volunteered to do it but none of the women in the family dressed in white though.

What I find weird is that when someone dies my family, relatives and distant relatives come from all over the country, even out of the country and gather at the decease's home to have a form of celebration for a week. It was done that way when my uncle died and then again when my aunt died. It wasn't so much as a "party" or even a celebration really, but there was tons of food and drinks and people sitting around talking. It lasts a week and then comes the funeral, people go home after the funeral.

 

[noungning]

What I find weird is that when someone dies my family, relatives and distant relatives come from all over the country, even out of the country and gather at the decease's home to have a form of celebration for a week. It was done that way when my uncle died and then again when my aunt died. It wasn't so much as a "party" or even a celebration really, but there was tons of food and drinks and people sitting around talking. It lasts a week and then comes the funeral, people go home after the funeral.

there's a lao name for this called, ngun heun dee... while a house with a new birth is called ngun heun gum

well from what i try to comprehend is, they do this to show a respect to the person that passed away by being there for them after they passed away. it's like a warming/gathering to show that these are the people who cared for the person although they are no longer here. people comes from all over, just because they once knew them. it's keeping company and wishing the person to a better after life. my parents tell me, a funeral that has no one coming to "nob" or "wai" when they die is quite sad because it shows that no one really cared for this person...and the drinking, gambling and eating is just to keep those companies occupied lol.

 

[dfemc]

there's a lao name for this called, ngun heun dee... while a house with a new birth is called ngun heun gum

well from what i try to comprehend is, they do this to show a respect to the person that passed away by being there for them after they passed away. it's like a warming/gathering to show that these are the people who cared for the person although they are no longer here. people comes from all over, just because they once knew them. it's keeping company and wishing the person to a better after life. my parents tell me, a funeral that has no one coming to "nob" or "wai" when they die is quite sad because it shows that no one really cared for this person...and the drinking, gambling and eating is just to keep those companies occupied lol.

very interesting. i've heard about this stuff, but never attended one myself, not having grown up much around ma. i think it's a pretty cool tradition. sorta like dia de los muertos, except for each individual death.

 

[mandees ecstasy]

Ok my grandpa just recently died, and we had to do this ceremony for him...like most of the guys from within the family has to be a monk for one day. They have to shave there eyebrow and hair all off and then they go chant with the elder monks, it's like loosing all your bad sins and starting over again but for the girls they just had to put on something all white and tie there hair up. So they guys had to follow the elder monks around all day, and they have to chant all day long and cannot go near the girls...if the girls are on there way the girls are force to move away and let the monks go first. And if that's not worse enough yet, the young monks have to wear those golden robes around the whole day or until they bury or creamate the body...but the sitting parts sounds pretty hard for most of those that have to sit all day long.

ok so whats so weird about that?

 

[yeahyeahdatme]

Is part of the lao tradition and i don't mind it...its to show some respect..so personally I would like to paid my respect anyway I can....plus its not bad, i did it before..

 

[Toon]

For me i don't think it's weird b/c you're paying respects to someone you love. Plus, the whole becoming a monk or nun thing is if you want to do it, no one is going to force you to do it. Then, everything you do makes sense even tho people may see it as uncomfortable, you wanted to do it so it doesn't matter if you can't eat after a certain time or touch certain people. I mean real monks and nuns do that for their entire life so what is a day compared to a lifetime? My bro did it 3 times already for our grandparents and I got to do it once. The point of doing it is to not cleanse your own sins but to cleanse the sins of the deceased person. But by becoming a monk or nun, you receive good karma in return.
The whole gambling thing is weird, but then again, old people are always gambling.

Yeah but if you don't do it and you're still at the funeral all the people will probably wonder why you didn't become ordained for one day. So it's like you're being forced to do it. I'm not saying that most people won't do it, but at the same time if you don't do it, then you'll probably automatically be deemed a bad child. But luckily we come from a very filial culture and so most of us younguns will probably want to do it as a last sign of respect for our elders.

About the gambling thing...yeah most old people gamble...you don't find the twenty somethings up until 6 oclock in the morning gambling and drinking right?...LOL...that happened this past New Year's Dinner party my parents threw. I went out and came home 4 in the morning thinking that everyone would be gone...but NOOOOOO...there were still a handful of people left trying to win back the money they lost to my mother...LOL!!!

 

[Nueng]

I became a Mae Kow when my dad and grandpa died. One of my sister's couldn't become one because she was going through her menstrual cycle. Your not allowed to become one if you are on that. I don't understand that part but I asked my mom and she said something about your not pure, so you wear black and go along to help the Mae kow since they aren't allowed to have contact with men for the time period that they are under oath.

Not all my male cousins buat for my grandpa. They had reasons, like one of my cousins just started a company and he didn't want to attend meetings with a shaved head and eyebrows.

I don't find it weird since it's tradition. It's sad cause the younger generation now don't really respect tradition. I'm proud to be Laos. I'm a little Thai but if people ask me what nationality I am I just say Laos! haha

 

[saobomp]

i heard of all the strict sayings to do and what not to do as well.

usually if you are related to the decease you would shave your head(guys), girls wear white (cant do so if u are on your period), can not socialize (talk) to anyone while doing so.

you wash your hands to cleans and let go from the decease.

laos funeral's are interesting and unique in it's own way.

the gambling has always been played even in laos.