Issue with family overseas

Cat

sarNie Egg
Hey everyone,
I was just wondering how you handle relatives asking for money? I'm somewhat afraid that it's going to turn into a whole second generation thing with my family. I'm worried that my mom's family will turn to me for money and their children will continue to behave that way to my children. When I got a job at the bank my mom asked for money for her brother- i told her no and she was like 'If you don't give it to me they'll think I'm lying'. That made me angry because I have student loans, car loan and rent to pay and it's like she cares more about her relatives in Laos instead of me. I don't want it to be that way and have already told my mom I'm not giving her relatives any money since all they do is sit around and act like they're rich. I told her that if they wanted to go to school or do a vocational training program then I would help pay for it but I'm not going to give them money to sit around and do nothing.
 

Cat

sarNie Egg
Literally, my parents have taken out loans in order to give money to her relatives. Thousands of dollars over the years. My mom lies to us about the amounts but we've seen all the western union receipts and we're just like - don't lie mom, we already know because we saw the receipts and we don't like liars-. It's a bit frustrating for my dad (his relatives don't ask for money), my siblings and I since it feels like she just wants to use us for money. I wish I spoke better Lao so I can just yell at them and tell them how things really are.
 

Maricon

sarNie Oldmaid
From what country are you working?
Anyway, that is a common issue whenever someone in the family works overseas. Have the courage to tell them even in English (if they understand) that what they are doing is wrong. That they should realize how hard it is to earn money. Stay firm and stand by what you are doing, don't give them money. Some people tend to abuse it whenever they know someone will give them money anyway.
 

Maricon

sarNie Oldmaid
As for me, I'll be starting my work soon here in the Philippines first and I plan to work overseas after a few years. I was told by my parents that they don't oblige me to give them money (unless emergency and absolutely necessary), instead they told me to save it (and I plan to invest too). I have relatives who are working here and overseas, but two of my relatives are currently unemployed and temporarily relies on their siblings' working overseas for money remittances.
 
P

PrincessKarina

What a mess! I'm sorry to hear that! Hopefully you can stand up for yourself the first few times. It'll get easier! No is no! People do not apreciate free materials and worst yet free money. They abuse them! You should learn quickly and stop encouraging their wrong ways! Good luck! :)
 
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