-----------3rd year of college----------------
3rd year of college. I'm still the same. I worked so hard over the summer break to lose weight, to lose this ugly glasses I had for so long, new wardrobe. But no luck at all. At this time I don't see Paul anymore. Maybe once in a while I would see him but I dont see him anymore. Or maybe I had but just dont notice him anymore because I lost hope long ago. Half of the school year I did not see him anywhere I pay no attention to him but this was the year I had the biggest crush ever on a popular guy. His name was James. It started over the summer before my 3rd year of college. This was how it all started...
"Cherry, what did he say?" Penny one of my friend but not a close friend said.
"Nothing much, he was just wondering why you ignored him when he told you he likes you." I replied.
"I dont like him that way! I only like him as a friend." Penny said.
"Well I'll try to tell him, but I think its best if you stop ignoring him and tell him maybe he will stop bothering you. Alright, I have to go to class now Penny I might be late."
"CHERRY! WAIT! WAIT!" Penny shouted.
James was the guy that expressed his feelings to Penny twice and what she did was ignored him. I dont know how I got in between them two but I did. Over the summer I was basically their messenger. That happened for about 1 month I did not think anything but one day I notice I have begun to fall for him, I knew I cant because he likes my friend. He would never like me. And what if Penny likes him back but is trying to hide her feelings? Throughout that whole summer we only talked though email and I have been only introduce to him once by Penny and did not have a clear look at him. But my feelings grew and grew the more I get to know him. One night he called me after work and from then we ended talking every night after work. He would text me non stop, call me everynight, we were so close with eachother I feel like he was my boyfriend already because of how we were. One day I dont know what was running through my head but I told him.
"Remember you said beginning of March you would tell me who you like and I would tell you who I like too?" James said.
"Gosh, why did you have to remember? I dont think I'm ready to tell you." I said.
"Then I will start. Well Penny. I guess I still do like her a bit but there is someone else too..."
Right when James said that I was dumb enough to give myself hopes that it might be me because we have been sharing every thoughts with eachother.
"I think I like Sandra too."
What? NO WAY! Am I hearing this wrong? Am I dreaming? Come on Cherry face reality it's the truth!!!
"Hello? Cherry?"
"Uh yea I'm still here."
"Why didnt you answer?"
"Oh uh...nothing, nothing. So Penny and Sandra?" I said.
"Yes. But I think I have more feelings for Sandra now because I already told Penny how I feel like she is hiding/running away from me. But I like Sandra."
I was hurt to hear those words coming out from him through the phone. He was my first real crush that lasted so long.
"What makes you like her?" I ask.
"Well she is smart, and cute. And you know me I like smart girls."
"Am I not smart enough for you? I know I'm not cute..."
"So your turn ,tell me who do you like." James quickly ask me.
"Uh...no, nobody right now." I answered quickly back.
"Stop lying! You told me last time we will tell eachother on this day."
"Well I dont know how to put this, it's hard. I've never liked a guy this much to the point where it hurts me" I said sadly.
"Who do you like? Dont worry you have me to help you. I can get him for you." James joked.
I gave a weak laugh "Thanks James but no thanks I dont think you can get him for me, no one can."
"Just tell me who is he?"
"Uh...I have to go so I will see you tomorrow at school?" I said.
"No wait, is he me?" James ask slowy.
"sigh yes." i replied to him.
"Oh, why didnt you just tell me? It's ok. You will get over me." James said.
"Just forget about it, I'll see you tomorrow." and I hung up not even waiting for him to say bye.
Our friendship was still going strong until the 2nd year when he graduated from college already. We grew apart he stopped calling, we kind of stop texting. And I found out he used me to get close to my friend Penny so my friendship meant nothing to him. I was hurt. Very hurt. And a month later I also found out he got a girlfriend. That day my friendship with him was gone but it was take a long time to heal a broken heart.
"Cherry, he is an asshole. You trusted him as a friend, you went through crap with him and at the end he tells you this?" said Aff my aggressive and tomboy best friend.
"I dont get it. I dont care if he used me to get close to Penny I understand he likes her. But what I dont understand is that we trusted eachother so much why cant he warn me or give me a heads up about any of this? He told me he likes Sandra? I went through so much with him. I was his "Best Girl Friend" he called me that."
"Cherry, dont stress over this. It's his loss that he lost a great girl like you and its his loss that he loss a great friend." Ploy my other best friend said. I like to refer her to as my therapist because she always gives me good advice and was there for me. I just felt more closer to her but Aff and Janie are still our best friends.
The problem with James has passed for 3 months now I stopped contacting him, I deleted his phone number, deleted all the message he sent me and delete him off my email contact list. I felt so hurt by what he did to me I just dont want to be with any guys now and concertrate on school and work. At that time I was working a part time job for 5 hrs a day for 5 days a week and sometimes I work over the weekend too. Every day after school, I get home change clothes straight to work no time to eat or do my homeworks. Sometimes I stay up all night doing homeworks and wake up the next day at 4am to finish them. This same routine went on for about 4 months.
--------------4th year of college----------------
"Wow Cherry you got skinnier!" my sister said to me.
"Cherry, mom was talking with me the other day and she was saying to me that she is worried about your health. You lost alot of weight, and you have been looking very pale for the past months is anything wrong?" my other sister ask me.
"No, nothing is wrong. Since I started working I just dont really have time to eat much." I said with a smile on my face.
I did see a big change in my old pictures to myself then. I can start to notice my collarbone around my neck, my stomach is getting smaller, I feel more confident about myself, and for the first time I felt pretty.
ok this is it for tonight, i'm tired i will come back tomorrow to continue! it might be a bit confusing but if u have any questions feel free to ask and thanks for stopping by to read!! =)