heartbreak

[vina_lek]

how do you guys deal with heartbreak?

I find that I'm in between upset and sad.. maybe more sad. I don't know, but I feel loopy. :unsure: And then sometimes I'm cool and happy for the day, b/c I have such a caring group of friends. Friends just make you laugh and smile... think about other stuff.

What happened is I'm kind of going the disappearing route on someone I really like. Email block. I deleted my email account. Phone block. Person would have to use another phone to get to me. But then again, I don't pick up the phone if I don't recognize the number. But damn, I really should focus on my work and studies. I have no time for heartbreak. ^_^ And I'm trying to avoid the person. Thank goodness we don't go to the same school or I'd be dying. :blink:

I know it takes time. You guys ever go through the same thing or know anyone who does? Anything to speed up the healing process? :blush:

 

[ChenrukNote]

It hurts yea and you want to avoid them, you want to never see their face or hear their voice because it reminds you too much. My suggestion is just busy yourself and don't linger, don't listen to sappy songs those bring back memories. Don't watch lakorns where people are heartbroken, that one is hard to avoid though lol. Spend time with your family and friends because they do help a lot. Just give yourself time to breathe, heal and slow down. Before you know it, it will pass but it sure does take time and lots of work on your part. I really don't think anything can speed up the process, its all up to you. If you are strong enough then it will past sooner but if you still hold grudges then it will take time. Crying helps to relieve the pain, so cry when you need to. Remember to laugh too though because laughing is the music of the soul. It will make you feel better, good luck Vina_Lek.

 

[KristyS]

I've never been through that. I know someone that had been through that. I don't know any ways because the person I know still can't cut the other person loose even though it's been 3 years. The person I know says there's nothing, but I believe there is. I'm worried for the person I know...

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

The heartbreak road wow man I've been down that one... and I've always manage to pull through... just tell yourself you can do better and there is no boy thats worth all that trouble... and stand up and jus live the independent life.. thats how I got over things... I would always try to tell myself single route is the best route to go....but unfortunately relationships have their ways of bumping me lol....but I've never let a guy get me down for more than a month or so......... just enjoy your time by yourself and do what keeps your mind busy... flirting with other guys is always good medicine.... lol j/k but just don't think about it .. and keep yourself busy..

hmm and iono im weird so sometimes the sappy songs help me lol... ieven when im sad i listen .. moosic in general is medicine for my soul <3... good luck girl =p remember your a woman! don't let the opposite sex be the reason for your sadness...

 

[XCappy]

Oh, this kind of feeling... Just say that this person was the wrong one for you. Maybe you guys weren't 'suitable'. That's the only thing I can say.

Just focus on your studies, don't forget that you have friends around, and I hope you'll be fine days later.

Chok dee !

 

[Saifah]

FOR ME... i JUST TELL MYSELF THAT THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SAD OVER ONE PERSON WHEN THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU. YEA, iTS KiNDA HARD TO AVOiD iT BUT A BOX OF SKiTTLES WOULD BE FiNE FOR ME. HEHE!

 

[*Ice*]

it took me over a yearto get ova someone till i met someone new wooo i got so sick n depressed!

 

[noungning]

same with ice, it took another person to pull my WHOLE mind off the other person... roughly took me less than a year when i really focused on forgetting

i told my friends not to invite me when the dude is around, i avoided confrontation and communication, basically i needed space and time

i can admit i started to get over the other person because i did various things:

1) partied a WHOLE lot! [which isn't great, because it's just draining and expensive]

2) went out with friends to movies, shopping, bowling, pool, gambling [bad, bad], and golfing---any outside activities

3) worked ALOT! about 45-55 hours a week [no time to think besides sleeping after work]

4) traveled [but kinda costly]

5) open my mind to meet newer people, and i met my present bf

but lastly, i listened to loads of music, i love music, regardless of heartbreak songs or happy songs, i listen to everything

anyways, goodluck

 

[vina_lek]

hey guys. thanks for all the advice and cheer ups. i haven't even cried yet, but that might be b/c i'm not much of a cryer. ever feel like crying and no tears are coming? i'm weird.

i know it's going to take time, & i just don't know how much. besides working and studying like a crazy girl which by the way is the reason for me isolating myself from mentioned person. long story short. i want to focus on work and my studies, & i kind of wanted the person to be around and be single. so i couldn't stand it when the person said they might like someone else. i know. i'm selfish as hell. so i let the person go ergo block everything & just disappear.

i'm actually partial to listening to music. i love music a lot, but at the same time, i do feel like i should probably not listen to music as much, b/c i get really absorbed into the lyrics! i can't seem to handle it like you guys do.

and i'm not sure about meeting up with other people for dates. i'd probably just hang out and get to know people, but at the same time, let them know that i'm just single and unavailable at the moment.

guess that's it. thanks again everyone. i really appreciate you guys taking the time to give me advice, insights and all that good loving and caring stuff.

 

[u00htg2]

Wrong time, right person? Wrong time, wrong person? Who knows. But if it's meant to be, it will be, so take heart. You're doing the right thing by concentrating on yourself and your future.

 

[ijohn]

---wow heartbreak who has not gone through this emotion in their life...i have only 2 cents worth of advice to give on this but be warned i seem to give bad advice and over analyze this kind of emotional detachment in the realm of selfishness on all involved...lol... i have lived a few years and have felt this detaching feeling of letting go or being let go... there always seems to be one thing i hear and that is move on---but i think before that is possible one must understand their own risk in forgetting someone or something that will haunt them at a latter time...i guess keeping busy will allows feelings to fade with time but i can tell you there will come a point in your life when you feel less then happy,,, this instant that breaks your heart will return...
---we humans are very selfish with guilt and for things we do or perceive we do in relationships... i guess what i mean is some of the drama we create in our minds is a feeling of not being in control of our emotions and what we truly feel when we make the mistake and try and force a situation or we try to force someone to love us... as i say to many people the best we can do is make ourselves more lovable to all... we need to find health in what we really want for ourselves and accept change and know that sometimes no matter what,,, there are things we can't have in life...
---the hurt i feel someday's when heart ache finds my heart is a mental fight to want something more because i can't have it then having it... we humans have trouble accepting no for an answer because we advance in life by achieving and getting what others tell us we can't have...
---so in closing i think the best thing to do is realize and think of your future and what it will be like if these emotions are truly dealt with now and thought through carefully in a practical sense for what best benefits you... i believe love can't truly exst in a relationship when we find ourselves chasing phantom ideas that can't be... accepting what is possible with what we really need and not always creating emotional depression in what we precieve we can't have...

---sorry me's rambling---lol

 

[bugsy]

It hurts yea and you want to avoid them, you want to never see their face or hear their voice because it reminds you too much. My suggestion is just busy yourself and don't linger, don't listen to sappy songs those bring back memories. Don't watch lakorns where people are heartbroken, that one is hard to avoid though lol. Spend time with your family and friends because they do help a lot. Just give yourself time to breathe, heal and slow down. Before you know it, it will pass but it sure does take time and lots of work on your part. I really don't think anything can speed up the process, its all up to you. If you are strong enough then it will past sooner but if you still hold grudges then it will take time. Crying helps to relieve the pain, so cry when you need to. Remember to laugh too though because laughing is the music of the soul. It will make you feel better, good luck Vina_Lek.

gooo nai!! totally dawg!

Anyways, vina_lek, there's no way to tell how long its going to take but it will come to an end one day if you let it. For some it's months, for some its a year or two and for others, its more than that. I use to be a sucker for romance so it took me 3-4 years to get over the first guy I truly felt strong emotions for and yeaa...that was long ass time. And that was because through those years, he kept coming in and out, just as I was about to forget him. So hold onto yourself and know that there will be better times. As for me, I've been waay better - totally not the sorry romancer I was before. But back to you...it sounds like you're doing a good job though. You obviously want to get over him, hence the creation of this thread. Just remember what nai nai said, it's all up to you to ultimately get over something like this. You know yourself best, so don't do things that will upset yourself more. Do things that you know will help. With that, good luck to you.

 

[vina_lek]

Wrong time maybe. I'm not really sure. As for if the person is right or wrong, I don't think I believe in "the one." I lean more towards love being a choice sometimes. I try not to think about it really. It kind of hurts thinking about it.

Yes. There is definitely a huge difference between becoming busy and letting go or being busy in order to numb away feelings. I hope I'm doing things more so in letting go rather than running away from myself. I agree it would come back to bite me in the tooshie much later on, if I just do things to numb feelings and not face them and let go. Oh yes. I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding what anyone is saying, but I'm feeling the love and care. That's what counts, right? Thanks guys! Plus, you know how a heartbroken person will just hear what she wants to hear sometimes. Sorry. Sorry guys if I've misunderstood what anyone has said on this topic.

Well. That's it. I don't know what to say. CVS had family size tissues on sale. I only had to use the tissues for allergies.

 

[dfemc]

so tissue sales huh? be sure to keep ur face moisturized, those tears can dry ur cheeks up pretty bad.

as far as coping with heartbreaks on a personal level for me.... i just burn everything. it's a cleansing process everything comes n goes

 

[u00htg2]

Wrong time maybe. I'm not really sure. As for if the person is right or wrong, I don't think I believe in "the one." I lean more towards love being a choice sometimes. I try not to think about it really. It kind of hurts thinking about it.

Girl, you're already half way home. If you don't think he's the "one" or even believe in "the one." Believe me, when you truly, irrevocably, completely fall in love, you'll start believing that there's a possibility of "the one", your soulmate, that other half to complete you, whatever you call it.

But no matter if your heart is completely broken, half-way broken, or your ego is just a little bruised that he could have left your side so easily, it'll take time, patience, and being surrounded by friends and family who cares for you.

Well, take care of yourself and take it one day at a time.

 

[vina_lek]

Yep. Tissue sale. I was actually pondering getting the Glade spray or the tissue. Since I have glade sprays to last me about a year along w/ febreeze, I got the tissues. As for burning, yes. That might be good. I was thinking of getting this little gas grill thing, & that might be its first job.

haha. I think one of my saving grace from this heartbreak is that I'm not much of a romantic and far from sweet, although my image says otherwise. It's what I say now, but I will definitely not say I'll never believe in "the one." I got some more years to go. I'll try not to use the word "never" as far as beliefs goes until I hit my grave.

Thanks again guys for the cheer up and the variety of advice I'm getting. I think I'm sane. Not that I don't enjoy being insane sometimes. Depends on the situation.

 

[dynomite]

Well... I don't know if you really want to burn everything. For me, I found a collection of letters from the girls in my past in my parent's garage and it's kind of cool to go back and read through them and laugh at the good times and the bad times of the girls since when you were a high schooler and so forth.

What's funny is that one girl I was with wanted to save our memoirs and I was so pissed at her for ruining our relationship that I went and burned "our" pictures that she had, but kept all of mine. buwhahahaaaa (well by burning I mean ripping them up, shattering the frames, and trashing them)

ahh the tormoils of love....

Anyways, love has it's ups and downs and the first love is the hardest one to get over. After that... it gets better. You laugh at how stupid you were in the first relationship and then improve. Or maybe that's how it is from a male prospective.

Whatever the case is... if you're sharing your woes with sarNworld... I think you are already on your way to recovery. :^)

 

[vina_lek]

I don't know. I was thinking about crumbling letters and playing b-ball w/ the trashcan. But agh, I think I'll just heave it all into the recycle bin. At least, I'll be semi-environmentally friendly. I'm too lazy to find the letters right now though, hehe. The only thing I'm worried about now is bumping into the person while I'm still loopy, heeeeeeeeeeeh.

Thanks much guys. Yes. I am recovering.

 

[KEO]

i know how much painful it,i date a guy about 2 years.One day i ask him do you
want marry me?,he said No.That was very hurt,you been with him 2 years.So i
damm him that day.It hurt but i have to leave now for my future.He said he love me,
but he don't want to marry.I cry very night!


A month one of his friend come ask me out,i am not go out with anyone anymore!
A year start going out,party and bar than i meet guy from work,so i date him about
9 months and he ask me to marry him.I said Yes.I move in live him about a year than
we set the date of wedding.I marry yesterday.

 

[calla]

damn, HeaRt-brEak hurts more than anything...so much pains. im now on the same situation as you .. viana lek.
we date for 5 months and now he has someone esle and clan me as his lOVE FRINED. all he can said to me is that he SO SORRY. lolz..well, it hurts tho..but cant do nothing...since i now became his LOVE FRIEND instead of his GF.

from the last 2 weeks, i tried so hard to get over him, such as...not received his phone calls, no chatting on msn. but damn, i feel sorry for did that to him tho..i mean when i know he still cares for me. i missed him so much that i went back to him and asked for another chance but..he doesnt wants to...he just said..no matter what im still his LOVE FRIEND.

lolz...so now..i decided to let go. i told myself.."come on..no more sadness..and no more tears" i am now avoiding him again..lolz. since i cant be more than friend..then i dont wanna be anything else to him.
but damn, i still miss him alot....but its ok, it will heal....SOMEDAY......~SIGH~.