Good Relationship Articles

[ohitsnoyyy]

I always wanted to date a guy who's younger than me, maybe 5 years younger lol. But then again, I'm not up for babysitting.

While it's true that guys are complicated, I'm surrounded by clingy/needy/psychotic girlfriends all the time (majority of my boyfriend's friends' girlfriends are all crazy). I see how needy & clingy they are with their boyfriends & I'm just like, chill out. Let your boyfriend live.

There was this one time where my boyfriend's friend was having his bachelor party in Vegas. The groom's cousin's girlfriend decided she wanted to tag along with the guys to the bachelor party because she didn't didnt trust her boyfriend. The groom found out & he told her she can't come. So the girlfriend got mad & decided she wanted to do some childish shit & plan a bachelorette party for the bride & post it all over Facebook to prove how much "fun" she's having. The sad part was the bride wasn't even at the bachelorette party!

Although guys can be a dick/douche, girls do way too much sometimes, especially controlling their boyfriends.

 

[byebye]

I believe controlling is like a power struggle...yes, women can hold onto a grudge like no other. I don't have any guys friends so I don't know. My husband and I agree that when we are married we don't have any close friends that are the opposite gender.
 
Talking about friendship, I think it is such a priceless thing when you have one that you trust and turn to for whatever reason. I was having such a rough two days, so stress out about things that no matter what I do I wasn't happy. And after I am done talking to my best friend, I felt such a heavy weight is lifted off my shoulder and walked away feeling happy. I have always value her as a friend but after today, there's no amount that I can put on our friendship. It is just that...priceless.
 
Anyway, most girls I know are catty so much so I wonder how most get along lol. I used to hang out with a bunch of girls. I came late to the group and don't know most that well...but gosh, everyone was talking about the others behind their back...but acted like BFF. 

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

I've always had problems with having girl best friends. I've been stabbed in the back by so many of my "so called" girl friends, that I just don't associate myself with that many girls. My best friend of like 10 years chose her cheating boyfriend over me. They ended up getting married & like a year later, they ended up divorcing. We're still friends, but it isn't the same anymore. I don't talk to her like I use to.

I had another best girl friend who was a compulsive liar. She had the audacity to tell my parents her sister died. When I asked her about her family & how they're doing about the loss of her sister, she gave me a look like she didn't know what I was talking about. If I could, I'd kick her ass. She was the worst friend I ever had & I regret ever being friends with someone like her.

I don't know, I've just always had it easier with my guy friends. And my guy friends are guys who I've known for 10 years, so it isn't like they're just random guys I call my best friends. They've seen the worst in me & actually tell me how it is, whereas girls are so sneaky, & go behind your back.

I do miss having girls night out & stuff, but I don't miss the whole back stabbing thing.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, & people might find it weird or strange that I go out with my guy friends. I think it's perfectly normal. I have nothing to hide with my boyfriend. I tell my him everything & I never once ever thought about cheating on him. He trusts me & I trust him. And I think that's the key to a successful relationship-- trust & communication.

 

[sarN]

older man are a pain tooo! my first date was w/ an older man & he was my dad friend & i was 16 years old & he was 32 years old --- i know , i know but during that time i just listen to what ever my parent tell me to do ^^ I was a good daughter but now age make me wiser. He wanted to marry me & my parent loved him because he got a job , house & car . My parent fear I will end up w/ someone my age or get seduce then became pregnant or hang out w/ bad influence ppl or sometime else worst hahah they don't  trust american ppl . He would pick me up early to have breakfast before drop me off at school & he would talk & talk about stuff I don't really care & he tell me what to wear & how to speak & what expect to happen after we are married blah blah I never really reply back to  any of his subject i just nod my head but inside i was piss off & annoyed but since he was older I just endure it & hope he get bore w/ my nonchalant behavior and give up . He always feel insecure & question about everything , is there guys  hitting on me at school , why my friend are boys , why do i stay after school everyday , why , why , why , why do i laugh w/ other man when talking to them ( i laugh all time lol) . Stressful relationship ! I told my parent but they told me because he older and afraid young man might snatch me away b/c i was very popular among  the elder at the temple community b/c i goes w/ my grandma every week. He give up on me after 6 month & after him there was 3 more older man & that too fail . I believe older man will always feel insecure if they get w/ me  b/c of my personality but w/ younger man they seen to be more open & not as controlling & give me more trust & enjoy a good time w/o having to feel committed b/c I do not require them to have one ^^^ I can related to them more .

 

[sarN]

*friend !!!! LAMO

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

OMG sarn, that is crazy! When I was 16, my parents weren't even thinking of finding me a boyfriend lol. they wanted me to stay away from guys LOL. They didn't even want me to play sports because they were scared I'd be around boys bahahaha. Now if I'm not with my boyfriend & I tell my parents I'm going out, they always question who I'm going with, because if it isn't with my boyfriend, they're scared something bad will happen haha

 

[sarN]

Well, back then there was too many teenage pregnancy going on ,  kids skipping school , doing drug , stealing money ect & my parent were worry/afraid & thought i might fall into those category & hang out w/ ppl that is a bad influence  . The man was my dad's friend & he trusted him & us Asian got the saying " older man will pamper the younger wife" . I turn out great really so I don't know why they were so stress out but they did and they introduce older man into my life & kind of brain wash me everyday & lecture me non stop about what is proper & what our culture require for a young woman & constantly remind me that the elder know best & never to disappoint or disobey the parent & moral & vaule  blah blah. I date those men only to make my parent happy & stop their nagging but i was never interest in them & they shower me with gift , money , clothes, jewelry & what ever i want . I honestly did took advantage of their affection & in the process I broke their heart . I was young . I had sinned . 

 

[byebye]

Sarn your mom and mine probably grew up in the same era or something lol. When I was 16 my mom thought it was OK for me to get married. I had a 33 year old asked to marry me and my mom said, it was OK with her if I am OK with it. I thought my mom had lost her mind. Back then, girls were getting married at 14...a friend of mine got married at 14 and divorce at 15. It was so normal that I thought at 17 I was an old maid.,
 
As far as friendship goes, I have not had good luck with any guys. One guy I met while working at the hospital, I thought I could be friends with, we went out to lunch everyday together and he was just easy to talk to. And out of the blue, he started to ask me out and calling me honey and stuff...it was very uncomfortable I stopped cold whatever little friendship we had. I have 2 really good friends (girls) and I keep my close friends a very small number. These are the ones I share things with...but 1 out of the 2 I share everything with.
 
I think if your partner doesn't care it's good. My husband is just one of those people that if you give him a foot he'll go a mile lol. And for us it's more of a headache...I would be really annoyed if he goes to a girl with our marriage problems. That in itself creates another set of problem I don't want to deal with.

 

[sarN]

my cousin was married at 13 !!!! Crazy huh? Now , her kids are 16 & she only 27 !!!!! they shop for clothes together ^^

 

[Ms.Zoe]

Did they get married somewhere else, not here right? Or there were no legal paper involved if over here. Because they were married at illegal age.

 

[byebye]

That friend that got married at 14 was the youngest...we knew when she got married it was not going to last. She was young and pretty, her husband was like in his mid 20s or something. Needless to say, she found another guy real quick. Wait, there was a girl I know that was married in the 7th grade...she wasn't a friend but I know her.
 
Everyone around the neighborhood was disgusted by the parents because she was so young. But this one was even prettier than my friend. Her husband was a short dude, she towers over him. I feel so sorry for her. She didn't want to get married but her parents force her, like hit her and stuff. Well, the marriage of course did not last.
 
Ms. Zoe...this was back in the early 90s. It was like 93-94 when it became popular around the Cambodian community where I grew up at...girls were getting married so young. I mean it was ridiculous cause every time I turned my head someone I know was getting married. It seemed the younger the girl the more money the girl's parents would ask from the guy...now I don't think there's much of that going on. Well, maybe I am not around it any longer to see it. But dang, when I was in 7th through Freshman it was crazy. Then, sometimes it happened so much you wonder why no one wants to marry you lol.

 

[sarN]

not on paper but go thur the marriage ceremony w/ friend & family .

 

[Ms.Zoe]

I see @byebye & sarN. At their ages, getting married would be the last thing on my mind.  

 

[byebye]

All of them were married the Asain way...
 
Talking about that...there's this one girl that grew up around us. Her dad wanted her to marry this guy but she didn't want to. Because she was dating someone already. She was 18 at the time. She came up with a plan to run away from home. And she did, to be with her boyfriend. The parents were pissed but they were going to have that guy for a son-in-law no matter what. Not just that, they had promised their daughter to him already. So, since the bigger sister ran away from home and she is no longer available...the younger sister gets to take her place. The thing was, the younger sister also has a boyfriend.
 
I remember the sad look on the younger sister's boyfriend when she told him that they have to break up because she has to marry a guy in place of her big sister. He was so sad about it. Honestly, I don't know why that guy not call the whole thing off, when the girl he was intended for ran off. Anyway, they got married lasted for a couple of years and divorce. Now, the younger sister is happily married to a white guy. And the big sister is still with her boyfriend that she ran away with.
 
I don't think I will sacrifice my life for my sister like that lol

 

[Ms.Zoe]

I am glad my parents do not have the same mentality as these ladies' parents have. I wonder if the younger sister holds a grudge on the older sister for running away with her love & leaving her to fix the problem.

 

[byebye]

I think the younger sister probably is mad but I am sure she's over that cause she is happily married now. But yeah, that was a life changing moment. I think the younger sister was a senior at the time...she was like 17 almost 18. She had maybe about 2-3 months before she graduated.The parents even called the cops on the bigger sister for running away but since she was of age the cops could not do anything.
 
I know so many of these early marriages...I pretty much grew up in that environment. My mom didn't mind me getting married early but she also back then gave me a choice. If I said no, she was OK with it. But with my husband, she didn't give me a choice lol. She saw to it that I married him...but I was 20 years old so it wasn't like I was a teenager but still...being told that you have to marry someone isn't really the best news a girl could get.

 

[Ms.Zoe]

Your husband must have lots of good qualities for your mom to see that you will marry him.
 
Sometimes people in a forced marriage learn to love one another, they are the lucky ones while some couples could never.

 

[byebye]

Well, mom just saw he has a job and see the potential in him or something. Him having a job was most important...she was like he has a job and can take care of you. In my head, I am questioning how she knows all this when she doesn't even really know him. And she likes that he doesn't talk much lol.
 
But unfortunately, my husband talks a lot...he likes to joke around a lot and dang...he is the king of sarcasm. Never in my life have I met a more sarcastic person. And if I am sick...he could careless. He usually tells, me...I am not a doctor what am I supposed to do? He could see things in other girls but for the life of him, he doesn't notice things in me. The only time he does is when I have make up (once a year) and he'll say...I look like a ghost (idiot) lol
 
He is insensitive to a lot of my feelings...but he is not a bad person. He doesn't smoke, drink or gamble and he provides for me. He never raise his voice or call me names. I guess, there are things I get and things I don't get. But yeah, most times we annoyed each other...in a nutshell it's a typical marriage

 

[sarN]

force into a marriage suck but that what asian parent do b/c they think they know best when it come to choose a husband/wife for their children . the 4th older man that i dated which was thru my parent pick & approve  as well & this one I actually got engage w/ him . I did not want  it but--- after HOURS of lecture from my mom & grandma which they take turn trying to convince me that this is the best choice & i finally give up & decided to goes thru it w/ a promise that marriage will be a couple years later . My parent  invited the whole town that day when they said it's going be a small family gathering. ( they lie lol I was embarrasses ) I was a nervous rack getting dress while the make up artist kept talking about how young I am and he old but very well known in the community & how lucky I am & talking about wedding date & night! I panic & was going crazy w/ pin up emotion & frustration b/c everything was real . I wanted to cry but I couldn't ! When it was finally over w/ the formal introduction from the man side & the ring exchange & then they set the wedding date right there and then !! BOY ,  I was shock b/c my mom had told me it will be on hold till im comfortable w/ him but all the sudden both parent agreed to get a wedding date for the up coming summer ~. I couldn't sleep for days afterward! I was so stress out about the whole ordeal b/c I do not love him nor do I want to get married. When I finally had the courage to tell my parent , boy ,  were  they mad hahah b/c everyone knew about it ! They felt embarrassed. For the record I did know him for about 1 year & my parent & him brought a car for me in the week that lead to the engagement ( i return the car & promise to pay any fee which was about $1600) 

 

[byebye]

Hahhaa...Sarn, my parents were almost the same way. My husband wanted to marry me and the next thing I knew I was engaged lol. And she didn't want the engagement long because she said long engagement is not good. So our engagement was only 3 months...everything was moving so quickly and the next think I knew I was married. The wedding was horrible...my husband was late for the second day of the ceremony...I was PMSing lol. I felt bloated all day long...Texas's heat was so freaking hot...the A.C. wasn't working because the door was constantly opened. I was sweating like a pig.  Honestly, I was just going along...there wasn't much of an emotional connection to the wedding ceremony. It was a long 2 days wedding...