BangRajun - Born to Love You - CH45 - TBC

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
Characters:
Khap (24yo-Bangkok) – Former police officer who was kicked off the force due to repeat excessive use of force incidents. Blames himself and suffers from depression because of a shooting incident four years prior. His mother died when he was very young in a car accident. His father works hard to give Khap and his sister the finer things in life but does not provide the love and warmth of a father that they need. His dad is in the construction business and builds hotels. He is engaged to be married to the daughter of his father’s friend. He does not love her because she is very shallow and mean person. His therapist suggests that he goes and meet the orphan from the shooting incident in Khai BangRajun and that is where he meets Feung. He falls in love with her at first sight but run into misunderstandings because he thinks both Jai and Thap courting her.
-Brother of Juang
-Descendent of Puri’s character in BangRajun
-Best friend of Sang
-Has anger issues
-Intense individual
 
Feung (22yo-Khai BangRajun-Kamyat) – All around sweet village girl who is a teacher at the local orphanage. She is loved by everyone in the Khai BangRajun. Her goal in life is to help the orphans she works with now grow up to be upstanding citizens and be able to find a purpose in life and contribute to the betterment of their country. Her father works as a taxi driver in SingBuri but all he cares about is his alcohol. Feung’s mom left them for a rich guy from Bangkok so she has always been the mother figure for her sister, Fang. She puts her heart and soul into working with the orphans so she does not have time for falling in love. She is really good friends with Jai, a farmer’s hand, but only sees him as a brother. She meets Khap when he shows up to stay at the house near the orphanage. She senses a feeling a familiarity when she sees him but is put off when he speaks to her unkindly and aggressively.
-Sister of Fang
-Descendent of Thap/Fang
-Sweet girl and can be naive sometimes
 
Sang (25yo-Bangkok) – Police officer who graduated from the police academy with Khap. Did not get along with Khap at first but later became best friends. He has a playboy persona but is actually in love with Juang, Khap’s sister. He does not have the best home life situation because his parents are always fighting too much to where they don’t even know he exists. He considers Khap and Juang his family.
-Best friend of Khap
-In love with Juang
-Descendent of A Passin’s character
-Cocky and has no filter
 
Juang (20yo-Bangkok) – Still attending the University for a Degree in Hotel Management/Tourism. She is very popular and outgoing but secretly has a crush on Sang (bad boy/playboy). However, she thinks he sees her only as a sister since he picks and teases her a lot. She also gets mad whenever Sang brings his girlfriend of the week around. She is loves her brother very much and is very loyal to him.
-Sister of Khap
-Crushing on Sang
-Descendent of Puri' character
-Competitive when it comes to Sang
 
Thap (23yo-Bangkok) – Good natured, well-mannered guy who comes from a very rich family. His family owns the Pongsakorn hotel chain all over Thailand, including SingBuri. His dad contracts with Khap’s family for the construction of the hotels. Khap’s fiancé, Roong, wants to be engaged to Thap instead of Khap but her dad had already given her to Khap because of the promise between the mothers. Thap only sees Roong as a little sister because they grew up together. He falls in love with Fang when she hits his car with her motorcycle while he was donating items to the orphanages in Khai BangRajun. His parents want him to settle down with a prim and proper girl.
-Brother of Sabai
-An acquaintance of Khap
-Descendent of Por…
-Nice and easy going guy
 
Fang (20yo-Khai BangRajun-Kamyat) – Feung’s fierce tomboy sister. She is overprotective of Feung and is mad that Feung always sees the good in people. She registered at the University of SingBuri but dropped out to work so that she can help Feung achieve her dream of buying the orphanage from the current owners. She hates rich guys from Bangkok because her mother ran off with one. She hates her father for being a useless drunk.
-Sister of Feung
-Descendent of Thap/Fang
-Hates rich guys
-Fierce and independent
 
Jai (26yo-Khai BangRajun-Kamyat) – Feung’s friend from Khai BangRajun district. He owns farmland and is not rich nor poor. He helps out Feung with the orphans as much as he can but he also spends a lot of time working on other people’s farms so that he can save up and ask Feung to marry him. He is very protective of Feung and Fang, especially when their father gets into a drunken rage.
-In love with Feung
-Descendent of Por TongMin
-Loyal
 
Sabai (25yo-Bangkok) – Thap’s sister who is also a clothing designer. She has several boutiques in Bangkok and is very successful but she still does not feel satisfied with her life. She feels that there is something missing. She often donates seasoned out clothing from her children’s boutique to the orphanages in SingBuri province since her parents own hotels there. Her boyfriend is a jerk who only cares about reputation. He is pressuring her to get married and settle down.
-Sister of Thap
-Descendent of Por..
-Reserved/quiet
 
Other Characters:
Roong (21yo-Bangkok) – Spoiled daddy's girl. Her father is the Chief of Police in SingBuri Province but they own several town homes in Bangkok. Her and her mother stay in Bangkok. She is engaged to Khap but also has her eyes set on Thap. She goes to the same University as Juang and hangs around the same group of friends as her. She hates poor people and think if they do not have money or status; they are beneath her.
 
Jerd (27yo-Bangkok)- Sabai's boyfriend who is all about reputation. He's bossy and goes around demanding respect but does very little to earn it. He also uses Sabai's popularity in the entertainment business to hook up with celebrities.
 
Parob (4yo-Khai BangRajun-Kamyat) – His parents were the ones that were killed on the call that Khap took. He lived with his grandma when his parents were alive but they chose their lifestyles over Parob. When his grandmother got sick, she gave him to the orphanage. He is small for his age and doesn't talk. He likes to follow Feung around.
 
Pope: Juang’s friend/tutor at the University. He likes Juang.
 
Locations:
Bangkok
SingBuri Province\Khai BangRajun District\BangRajun Tambon
SingBuri Univeristy
Bangkok University
BangRajun Children’s Haven (Orphanage)
Pongsakorn Hotels
Bangkok Police Department
Phuket
Elite Muay Thai Fight Club
 
CHAPTER ONE
Bangkok
Khap -
I'm sitting here in Dr. Pedchai's office for the second time this week. I guess you can say I had a rough week. People are allowed to have emotions right? Anger is an emotion. It’s not any different from being sad or happy. Maybe I should not have told my father I was kicked off the police force. I hate it when he looks at me and wishes I was the one who died from the car accident. Was it my fault that I survived? I would have gladly given my life for my mother's. I have a love/hate relationship with my father. I love my father, I think. I mean, he was the one who gave me life. I am obligated to love him. I wish he would just look at me and Juang and see us and not my mother. I was kicked off the police force today for repeat excessive use of force infractions. Hey, last I checked the criminals that burglarize and murder people are not good people. Am I just supposed to treat them delicately? My fist may have accidentally collided with the perpetrator’s face a few times. Pimping out underage girls. I think that deserves a beat down or two. When I told my father, he didn't yell or scream, he just looked at me and said, “Is this how you honor your mother?” I was having a shitty day already so those words made me see red. In a moment of rage, I reached for my gun and that was when I knew I crossed a line. Was I really going to shoot my father? What was I thinking? I glance at the clock in the therapist’s waiting room. It's only 3:30pm. My appointment is at 4:00pm. Why did I show up early when I know that waiting pisses me off? I wonder if Sang caught wind of the news yet. His shift doesn't start until 6:00pm. I guess I could text him but the fucker is annoying. He would want every single detail and would interject with his opinions as I tell him the details. I may just wait because conversations with Sang can sometimes piss me off even more. Sang's my best friend. We didn’t start off as best friends. We started the police academy together about six years ago. I was eighteen and he was nineteen. I caught him looking at my FOURTEEN yo old sister, Juang, a little too long for my liking. So what did I do? I smashed his face in. You may get the impression that I have anger issues. Waiting at a therapist’s office may have given me away also. I don’t have anger issues, per se. I’ve been trying to explain to my therapist for the last four years that I do not have anger issues. Those that are on the receiving end of my anger/fist, deserved it. I’ll stop there. I sound like a drug addict trying to convince someone I am not addicted to drugs. Back to Sang. We were almost kicked out of the academy the day we got into it but we were given a warning instead. The academy also made it a point to partner us up for every single event throughout our training. At first, I thought I was going to kill the motherfucker but I found out he was a loyal son of a bitch. Always had my back even after we had a throw down with one another. Hell of a fighter too. My father put my sister and I in martial arts classes since we were young and I recently took up Muay Thai so needless to say, I have some decent fighting skills. With that being said, I have to give Sang some credit for being able to land some hits on me. We became the best of friends but make no mistake, we get into fights and beat the shit out of each other often. He likes to tease Juang and make her cry a lot. My baby sister is off limits. No one messes with her; not even my best friend. To be honest though, if I died in line of duty, Sang would be the only person I trust with Juang. I look at the time on my phone....goddamn it! It's 4:05pm now..where the hell is Dr. Pedchai?!
 
BangRajun
Feung -
Today is going to be a big day for one of these kids. There's a couple from Bangkok with fertility issues coming by the orphanage today. They decided one adoption. I'm feeling happy and sad about the news. I have always been Mae Feung to these kids. All eighteen of them. Now one of them will have a chance to have a real family. I saw the paperwork come in last week and looked them over several times. I want to make sure that whoever is leaving the orphanage today is going to a good place. These kids have been through so much, my heart aches for them. Why bring another life into the world if you are not going to love and nurture them. I would adopt them all if I could but what life can I give them? A high school dropout who is struggling to make ends meet. I want better for these kids than what I have. I have a roof over my head and clothes to wear but happiness doesn't exist for me when I go home. Father is always drunk. Mother is gone. My happiness is when I am with Fang or at Children's Haven. It's only 3:30pm. The couple said they will be here at 4:00pm at the latest. There is still thirty minutes left before they show up. I see a small head peek out from around the corner. I already know who it is. Parob. My sweet, sweet Parob. His parents died in an accident in Bangkok when he was only six months old. His grandmother took care of him the best she could but alas she fell sick and brought him to the orphanage when he was 2 years old. He doesn't talk yet and rarely likes to interact with the other kids. He follows me around like a shadow. It doesn't bother me at all because I get a sense of comfort when he is around.
“Fe: Parob? Come let Mae Feung hug you a little bit.”
He saunters over and sits on my lap. I hug him tight.
“Fe: Parob, I am going to find you a good home with good people who will love you with all their heart. The way you deserve to be loved. You are going to grow up and change the world. I promise.”
I tear up a little. It kills a piece of me every time we get a new kid in the orphanage. When I started here four years ago, we only had six kids. We now have a staggering eighteen. Funding has been hard but I will never turn a kid away. I will sell everything I own before I do that. I shake away my thoughts and glanced at the clock. It's 5:00pm. My heart drops. No one is going to show up. It happens all the time. Promises for donations/adoptions. All empty promises. I think to myself, “Don't worry children, we will make it through another day. We’ve survived this far.”
“J: Feung?”
I turn to find P'Jai at the doorway.
“J:Did they not show up again?”
“Fe:They never do, Pee.”
“J: Let's wrap up so I can take you home.”
“Fe: You can go on ahead P'Jai. I am waiting on Fang. She had an after school project and won't be here till 6:00pm. I will go home with her then.”
“J: Well, I'll do some work around here so that we can go together. I don't want you two going home late with it being just the two of you.”
“Fe: Thank you P'Jai.”
“J: Let me sit and rest with you a little bit.”
At that, Parob got up from my lap and sat between me and P'Jai to create some distance between me and P’Jai. My little Parob. He doesn't like P'Jai being close to me. P'Jai is from the same village as me and I see him as a big brother. I think he sees me as more. The villagers have whispered about such things. My heart is with the kids at Children's Haven. I don't think I have room for much else. P'Jai is a good guy. He brings food to the orphanage and that helps keep the kids fed. We also have the Pongsakorn family who donates quite a bit to the orphanage. The daughter of the family, Khun Sabai, donates clothes every year. The son, Khun Thap donates money almost every month. Without their help, I don't know what we would do. We have four volunteers who work at the orphanage for little to no pay. The owner of the orphanage only pays me enough to put food on the table. The assistance he gets from the government to run the orphanage, he pockets. I can only work so many hours in the day to make sure the kids are looked after. We also started developing a curriculum so that the kids will be able to somewhat keep up with the other children that attend regular school. My dream is to buy this place from the owner and make it better. Make it a true haven for the children that have been left without parents. A place where they are happy and just feel alive.
“J:Feung, Feung.”
I get lost in my thoughts often.
“Fe: Yes, P'Jai?”
“J: I am going to look at the plumbing system. The volunteers said it’s not working well. Hopefully, I can get it fixed before Fang gets here.”
Once P'Jai leaves, Parob is back on my lap. I smile. My sweet Parob with the crooked smile.
“Fa: P'Feung! You're favorite sister is here!”
My smile gets wider. My sweet Fang with her sharp tongue and big heart.
“Fe: You're my only sister Fang.”
“Fa: How do you know P'Feung? Father is always drunk. Who knows what he does or who he does.”
“Fe:Fang!”
I stare at her in shock. What exactly are they teaching in school these days? She just shrugs it off.
“Fa: P'Feung, I forgot to ask. Who did the couple adopt? Were they as nice in person as they were on the paperwork?”
I look at Parob.
“Fe: No one showed up Fang.”
“Fa: What?! Who does that?! I should go and find them and give them a good punch in the face. Do you still have the paperwork? Their address should be in there right?”
”Fe: Fang. It's their right if they want to adopt and it's their right if they want to change their mind. We can't do anything about that. What we can do is make sure we do the best we can to feed, clothe, and care for the kids. Provide them with as much warmth and love as we can.”
“Fa: P'Feung, at the very least, we can send them a nasty letter.”
“Fe: Fang, what am I going to do with you? Oh Fang, do you have class tomorrow? If you do, can you stop by the Pongsakorn Hotel on Main to pick up the shipment of clothing that Khun Sabai sent from Bangkok?”
“Fa: If you really need me to, I can. I really don't like looking at that Khun Thap guy. He is always smiling. Who smiles that much? He only has one facial expression. Is he trying to show off his white teeth? His teeth is crooked by the way. Maybe I should tell him to see if his expression will change to shock.”
“Fe: Fang! They've done a lot for this place. Please don't cause any trouble. I'm already embarrassed to look at him from your incident with him before.”
I can remember that day clearly. Khun Thap came by to drop off a load of clothes and supplies to the orphanage and brought his car. Fang got out of school early that day and saw Khun Thap talking to me through the window. She somehow got it in her mind that Khun Thap was here to take me away with promises of money and a good life. She was afraid there was going to be a repeat of what happened to our mother. She ran her motorcycle into Khun Thap's car and left a big dent in the driver's side of the car. I was beyond mortified. I apologized profusely and did not know how to pay him for the damage. Khun Thap said it was ok and drove off, even smiling at Fang as he was leaving. Fang on the other hand called him all sorts of names and told him never to come near me again. We had to eventually sell her motorcycle since we couldn’t afford to fix it. Whatever little money we got from the sale, we gave to Khun Thap for the damage. He came back a few times after but our conversations were brief. Parob also took a disliking to him. I was glad he didn't stay for long. Khun Thap was nice enough but I had no desire to be around him more than necessary. I get the feeling he likes my little sister. I see the way he looks at her sometimes. If Khun Thap is truly a nice man, I would not mind seeing Fang with him. I just want my sister to live a good and happy life.
“J: Fang, you're back. I am done with the plumbing here. We can head home now.”
“Fa: P'Jai, there is no we with the three of us. Me and P'Feung are a we. You are just a P'Jai. Understand?”
“F:Fang, stop it. Let's get ready to go.”
 
CHAPTER TWO
Bangkok
Khap-
I have no idea why we are paying Dr. Pedchai for his services. I leave his session more screwed up in the head then when I initially went in. It's close to 6:00pm now so the quack went on and on for about two hours. He said I have some deep rooted anger issues. No shit, Doc. Tell me what I don't know. The progress we made today was we identified the two incidents in my life that shaped me to be the way I am today (I already knew this too):
Event #1 – Eighteen Years Ago
We were in SingBuri capital looking at some potential new business ventures for my father. It was late and we were headed back to Bangkok. We decided to head back that night because I wanted my toys back home and did not want to sleep in a hotel. As we were driving home, our car was hit by a drunk taxi driver. The impact was directly on the passenger’s side, right where my mother was. She was able to say mines and Juang's name before she fell into her final slumber. My father, sister, and I got away with minor cuts and bruises. My father lost the love of his life that day and forgot that he still had two kids alive that need his attention. He threw himself into work and gave us everything we ever wanted but never the one thing we needed; his love. Least to say, my self-hate probably started there. Were my toys really that important to me that I had to be such a brat? It also doesn’t help when my father looks at I see the blame in his eyes.
Event #2 – Four Years Ago
I was working graveyard shift and making my rounds in my patrol area when I heard a man and a woman arguing. I rounded the corner and found a man in a physical altercation with a woman dressed provocatively. It didn't take much guessing to figure out what she was. The man appeared to be high as a kite.
“M: This is your fault bitch!”
“W: If you were man enough to take care of your family, I wouldn't have to resort to this. I am doing what I do so that I can send money to support my mom and son back home!”
“M: For our son?! Is that who you were thinking of when you were taking off your clothes for the old fuckers? Is that what you tell yourself before you sleep with all those guys? I told you already! The money I make from selling drugs will be enough to send home. You are greedy! You don't deserve to be a mother! You don't even deserve to live!”
At that point, the man pulled a knife and pressed it against the woman's neck. I pulled my pistol.
“K: Khun, please drop the weapon. Let's talk this out.”
“M: There is nothing to talk about! She cheated on me! She was dishonest! She promised she would love only me!”
“W: Please help me! I have a six month old baby back home!”
“M: Shut up! You should of thought about that before you whored yourself around!”
“K: Khun, think about your son. He needs a mother and a father. You both are alive right now. We can fix our problems if we have the will to do so. Some people don't get a second chance in life. I'm offering you a second chance, so please take it. I'll find a good drug recovery program for you. I will help get you both clean so you can start over. This is just a roadblock. You can persevere and make it through this. Just let her go and let me help you. For your son. Please. Think about him.”
“M: It's too late to cleanse her. It's too late for me to cleanse myself. I've sinned too much already. I can't go near my son. He will get tainted. He deserves better parents. In our next life, I hope we will be better parents.”
His hand moved and I hesitated for five seconds before I pulled the trigger. All I saw was blood. So much of it. My hesitation gave him enough time to slit her throat. I wanted to save both but I saved neither. I just made a little boy an orphan. All the training I went through meant nothing. I was supposed to save lives not take them. Why Khap...Why couldn't you be better? Already screwed up on the second year of the job.
Dr. Pedchai said I needed closure. His suggestion? Go and meet the kid whose parents’ deaths I felt I was responsible for. I think my father is paying Dr. Pedchai to torture me not help me. How does meeting the kid resolve anything? Dr. Pedchai said his sister works at the orphanage that the kid is at. His sister, Sinjai, has a house in Kamyat village but doesn't use it since she has a room at the orphanage so that she can oversee the kids during the night. He said it's nothing fancy but it is peaceful and quiet. I would be able to clear my head some. Khai BangRajun. Has a nice ring to it. I don't know why, but every time I say it, a smile falls on my lips. I do need to get away from Bangkok. More specifically, Roong, my fiance. I actually said it without cringing this time. Nope, I take that back, I just cringed. Our fathers are best friends and our mothers were best friends also when my mother was still alive. My father said it was my mother's wish to see me and Roong get married when we were older. I was six at the time and Roong was three so I'm not sure what screamed perfect match. I can't ask my mother obviously and my father barely talks to me. Roong is a very materialistic woman. She wants the best of the best and I give her what she asks for. In part, it gets her away from me. Sometimes I think I see dollar signs when I look into her eyes. Our relationship is a joke. The most intimate we've ever been is sitting in a car next to each other. Not that I am complaining. I have no desire to be with this woman. I would sign over my fortune to her if she would just break off our engagement. I would do it but then my father would probably stroke out and die or he would just tell me my mother would be disappointed. I don’t want to hear the latter so I just suck it up. So you see, I am in between a rock and a hard place. Hopefully, Roong will find someone to fall in love with and then break up with me. My phone rings, it's Sang.
“K: Ai Sang.”
“S: Ai Khap, I heard what happened. Now, I want you to tell me what happened. You can tell me when you buy me dinner.”
“K: Ai Sang, you have money. Quit trying to make me buy your food.”
“S: I'm saving up to buy a special ring for a special girl.”
“K: Really? Is it Susie, Nita, Namfon, or Janie..who else is there? I can't remember.”
“S: None of those girls. Those girls are just temporary until the one I hold in my heart is ready. You may have met her a few times.”
“K: Ok, ok, there are too many. My head hurts thinking about it. Why aren't you at work?”
“S: I called in and said it was a family emergency. I wanted to make sure you are ok.”
“K: I'm fine. Juang has been messaging me. She should be off from school here in a little bit. We can pick her up and then go eat.”
“S: Does she have to go? She talks a lot and it makes me talk faster so I can get more words in then she does. It's tiring. Plus, she's a flirt and guys always flock to her and we always get into fights because of that. My lips don't need to get any bigger than they naturally are so I don't want anyone busting my lips.”
“K: How many times do I have to tell you not to call my sister a flirt? Do you want a busted lip?”
“S: Ok, ok..Juang is naturally charismatic so people tend to gravitate to her lovely charms? Does that sound better than flirt?”
“K: Whatever man. I just got home, so pick me up and then we'll go pick up Juang.
 
BangRajun
Feung -
We got home and father is not home yet. He usually gets off work at 5:00pm. More than likely, he is passed out at one of the neighbor’s house.
“Fe: Fang, I am going to go look for father. He may be at Lung Samood's house.”
“Fa: P'Feung, he's a grown man. He can find his way home when he sobers up. Care about your favorite sister who is about to starve to death. I had to work at so many different places today.”
“Fe: Work? You didn't go to school?”
“Fa: P'Feung, you know what I mean..when I say work I mean study. We had to go to different places for our research. Enough about school, it makes my head hurt. What should we cook today?”
“Fe: How about some grilled fish and fish soup? I'll see if P'Jai wants to eat with us today.”
“Fa: P'Feung, P'Jai can cook his own food. He isn't related to us so we aren't obligated to feed him.”
“Fe: Fang, he helps us a lot. The least I can do is cook for him.”
“Fa: P'Feung, I'm afraid he might misunderstand your kindness. You are too kind P'Feung and sometimes people might get the wrong impression and think it means more than it does.”
“Fe: I see P'Jai as a brother and nothing more.”
”Fa: But he isn’t our brother and I don’t want to share you with him. Don't invite him or I'll throw something at him.”
“Fe: Fang!”
At this moment, our father walks in the house.
“P: Why isn't there any food ready? The house looks like a mess! What's the point of having daughters when they don't cook and clean! You girls are good for nothing except for the dowries you bring when I marry you off! You, Nang Feung, as beautiful as you are, you could be bringing in some money to this house. Instead, you waste your time on those useless kids that will never amount to anything in their life. Remember! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!”
I feel the tears trickle down my face. I hate when he gets like this. I can take him insulting me but why does he have to insult those innocent kids?
“Fa: Por, you have hands and legs, you can cook and clean yourself. P'Feung works from sun up to sun down so that we have food to eat and clothes to wear! What do you do? You never bring anything home! You spend it on your precious alcohol. No wonder Mae left you!”
“P: Nang Fang!”
I moved Fang out the way so that I can protect her from fathers's wrath. I felt the weight of his hand on my face. Once, twice. Three times before Fang pushed him and he fell back. My face throbbed.
“Fa: P'Feung. Let’s go stay at the orphanage tonight until father sobers up. I'm sorry for causing trouble.”
Seeing my sister cry breaks my heart. I know if we stay here tonight things will escalate. About an hour later, we were back at the orphanage. P'Sinjai said we were welcome to use her house nearby since she was staying in the extra room at the orphanage. We were welcome to stay as long as we need to but she would be having a guest stay there in two weeks. It was her brother's friend from Bangkok who needed a change of scenery. I think two days would be all we need for father to cool down. By the time we got settled in the house, eat, and showered, I am dead tired. Sleep comes fast. I dream of the faces of eighteen angels waiting for me tomorrow. I smile.
 
CHAPTER THREE
Bangkok
Khap -
We end up at a little Italian restaurant close to the house. Juang wanted Italian and I have never told my little sister no. Like usual, Juang and Sang bickered from the moment we picked her up to the moment we arrived at the restaurant.
“Ju: P'Sang, I think you should pay for this round of dinner. In the years I've known you, I don't think I've ever seen your wallet.”
“S: You've seen my wallet before...When I put the money I win from your brother in my wallet.”
He laughs. Cheeky bastard.
“Ju: P'Sang, P'Khap has had a rough day. The least you can do as his best friend is buy him dinner. Is that too much to ask for?”
”S: Nongsao, don't pretend like you know what Khap is feeling right now. I'm helping Khap by allowing him pay for my dinner. Men like Khap gets satisfaction from being needed. Me needing him to pay for my dinner makes him feel good, superior even. Right Ah Khap?”
I roll my eyes. The shit that comes out of his mouth.
“Ju: P'Sang, you're a man too, why don't you pay for dinner so that you can get that sense of so called satisfaction?”
“S: Juang, I am a different species of man than your brother . Our kind gets satisfaction when our stomachs and wallets are full.”
“Ju: So, like a bottom feeder?”
”S:Jua.....”
“K:Ok, I am ready to order. I'm hungry.”
We all placed our orders with the waitress. As we wait for our food, I catch some guys from the nearby table staring at Juang. They are not even trying to be discreet about it. Sang catches on too and looks at Juang.
“S: I am trying to see what they see. I don't see anything worth looking at.”
Sang studies Juang and his eyes drop lower.
“S: You don't have much in the chest area so I'm not sure what they are staring at.”
“Ju:p'Sang!”
I jump out of my seat and get Sang in a choke hold.
“K: How many times do I have to tell you not to talk about Juang like that? She is my baby sister. You treat her like a little sister too. You protect her when I'm not around. That is your job. You never talk about her...um.. you know what I'm talking about! From here on out, when you talk to Juang, look only at her face! If I see you looking anywhere else, I will poke your eyes out!”
Everyone at the restaurant is watching us now. Juang is red from embarrassment. Sang is red from possible asphyxiation. I walk over to the table with the group of guys that started all this.
“K: Do we have a problem?”
They all shake their head. I turn to address our audience
“K: OK, the show is over now. Let's eat.”
I bring up Khai BangRajun as we eat.
“Ju: I think it would be good for you P'Khap. Being away from home. I can go too when school is done. I only have a few months left. Songkran is coming up so we will have a break. I should be able to join you shortly after you get there. You want to leave in two weeks right?”
“K: I plan to. I want to wrap some things up in Bangkok before I leave. I don't know how long I will be staying there though.”
“S: I'll go with you too Ai Khap. No one will miss me here.”
“K: Ai Sang, you still have your job here. Plus, I need you to look after Juang when I'm not here.”
“S: My job I can quit anytime. I’ve been thinking about quitting anyways since they partnered us up with different people. I don’t trust my current partner as far as I can throw him. It won't be the same at the station anyways without you there. I'll hang around to watch over Juang though...from the neck up only right? Too early to joke?”
Juang and I both roll our eyes.
“Ju: P'Khap, who is going to cook for you over there? Who is going to help with your laundry?”
“K: Juang, I know how to cook and clean after myself.”
“Ju: No, you don't. When was the last time you cooked a meal, without my help?”
I think about this. My sister is right. I either go out or eat or I wait until she cooks something for me. Fried eggs should be easy to do. Fried eggs every day doesn’t sound too bad.
“Ju: P'Khap, I'm worried about you. Maybe you should wait until I finish school and then go?”
“K: Juang, between dealing with Roong and father..if I delay this any longer, I may as well put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger.”
No one says anything.
“K: That was a joke. I'm not suicidal.”
“Ju: P'Khap, I love you more than anything in this world. You are not only my brother, but you are also my father.”
My sister starts tearing up and Sang is shooting me daggers. Goddamnit, it was a joke. I pull Juang into a hug.
“K: I was kidding Juang. You are not going to get rid of me that easily. I still need to beat up the line of guys that are trying to woo you. No one in this world is good enough for you nongsao.”
 
 
CHAPTER FOUR
Two Weeks Later
BangRajun
Feung -
We only stayed at P'Sinjai's place for two days. By that time, father had already forgotten what happened. We still went through the same cycle of him coming home drunk all the time. Fang felt badly about what happened so has made an effort not to aggravate our father. P'Sinjai had asked us to clean up the house and would compensate us for the work. She was expecting a very important guest that her brother is sending from Bangkok. He should be here any day now. After P'Sinjai paid us, I went to the market to buy some items to cook for the kids. It's been a while since they had something tasty to eat. It would be my treat for them today. Fang is at school today but she should be breaking for lunch sometime soon. I hope she took the food I left aside for her today. As I neared the orphanage, I saw a car that I've seen before and I motorcycle that I don't recognize. When I walked inside, I saw Khun Thap talking to P'Sinjai and her husband.
“Fe: Khun Thap, what brings you here?”
“T: I came by to drop off some school supplies for the kids and some donation boxes that I set up around our hotels. It should help you guys for a while.”
“Fe: Khun Thap, I don't know what to say or how to thank you. Without your help, this place would be in rough shape.”
At that point, P’Sinjai and her husband got up from where they were sitting.
“Si: Feung, our guest is here so we are going to go to the house and make sure he is settled in, ok?”
“Fe: Take your time, P'Sinjai, I can handle things here. “
“T: Actually Feung, if you have a minute, there is something that I would like to ask for your help on.”
Khun Thap took a few steps closer to me and at that time Parob came out of nowhere to pull me away.
“Fe: Is something wrong Parob? Do you need something?” He made a motion for me to pick him up so I did and set him on my lap. He turned to face Khun Thap and pointed at him to stay where he was at.
“T: Ok, Parob, I will talk to your Mae Feung from over here. Feung, what I want to ask you is your permission to court Fang. I think I'm in love with her. I think about her all the time since the first time I saw her. I know she loves you and think of you as not only her sister but also her mother. So, I am asking your permission to pursue her.”
“Fe: Khun Thap. If it is just a feeling that you think you have, I am afraid I can't give you permission to pursue my sister. Other than this orphanage, my sister is my life. I need you to be sure of your feelings before I can give you my blessing. My sister and I have had more downs than ups. I don't want to introduce anything into her life that will bring her pain. I need my sister to be happy and live a comfortable life. If you helping us at this orphanage is a way to buy my sister’s love, then I am afraid we cannot accept your help anymore. It will be hard on us but we will survive. The people of Khai BangRajun have their pride too.”
“T: Feung, I help out because I have everything in excess and I genuinely want to help. There are no strings attached. I will go back and reevaluate my feelings and come back here to inform you of my intentions again. I know that my response will be the same; I am in love with Fang.” “
“Fe: If that is the case, nothing will make me happier. To know that my sister will have someone to love her and take care of her. She is the apple of my eye and I expect you to love her just as much as I do. Even with my blessing, it will be entirely up to you whether or not, my sister accepts you. Based on your previous interactions with her, you should know she is not a fan of yours. Fang has internal scars that you can't see. It will take time for her to accept you. If you are patient and sincere, your goodness will win her heart.”
“T: Thank you Feung. I will leave you be now. I should be by in a couple of weeks. P' Sabai made some special outfits for the kids for Songkran.”
“Fe: Please tell Khun Sabai we are forever grateful for her kindness.”
As Khun Thap walks out, P'Jai walks in.
“J: What is he doing here again? He is here quite a bit now.”
“Fe: He came to drop off donations and school supplies for the kids. Did you eat already P'Jai?”
“J: I did. I am dropping off some bags of rice here and P'Sinjai asked that I drop off a bag at her house for her guest. Do you know who is staying there?”
“Fe: It's a friend of P'Sinjai's brother. I don't think he came with much since he probably came in on that motorcycle.”
“J: Ok, well, some of the neighbors need help with their farmland so I don't think I will be able to walk you and Fang home today.”
“Fe: P'Jai, I don't think anyone is brave enough to go against Fang.”
“J: You have a point there. I will see you later.”
As I was cooking dinner for the kids, one of the older girls, Natra, approaches me.
“N: Mae Feung, can you teach me how to cook? I want to learn how to cook.”
“Fe: Sure, does cooking interest you?”
“N: Not really, but I thought maybe if I learned to cook well, someone would want me.”
I pull Natra into a hug.
“Fe: Natra, listen to be real good, it's not that no one wants you. The people that need you just don't know it yet. You are so very special..everyone here is so special that only people with enough merits would be able to get to know you, love you, and have you in their lives. I must have performed a lot of merits in my previous life, because in this lifetime I got to meet all of you and love all of you. To me that is an honor. Do you understand what I am saying Natra?”
“N: Yes, Mae Feung.”
“Fe: I also want you to think about why you want to cook again. Don't do something so that someone will validate who you are. Do it for yourself. If you want to cook, do it because your dream is to be a famous Chef one day and cooking is what makes you happiest. Go ahead and stir the food like this. You got this. You can go brag to the others that you cooked today's delicious food, ok.”
“N: Yes Mae Feung!”
I feel the tears pooling in my eyes. The kids here think they are not good enough to be wanted. It breaks my heart when I hear them say that. I make sure I tell them I love them every day. A little while later, Fang arrives just in time for dinner. After we finished eating, Fang was in charge of doing the dish duty with some of the kids helping her. The younger kids started showering. P'Sinjai should be back in time to put them to bed. As I continued to put stuff away, I noticed Parob staring out the door.
“Fe: Parob, why aren't you getting ready for your shower. If you are last, all the hot...”
And that is when I saw him. I’ve seen those eyes before. Saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. I've seen him before. I just don't know where I saw him. He feels familiar but how so? I've never set foot outside of Khai BangRajun other than the few times I went to SingBuri. I can't know him, can I? Like a moth to a flame, I walk towards him. I have no control over my body now. It’s like I am in a trance. He is walking towards me also. We only stop when we are inches away.
“Fe: Can I help you Khun...”
“K: Khap. My name is Khap, ja. Mae Feung.”
 
Khap –
The trip to SingBuri was tiring. I took my motorcycle and only packed the essentials. Dr. Pedchai said it was going to be similar to camping. I just hope they have electricity to charge my phone. It’s my lifeline to Juang. I can be overbearing at times but she is my only baby sister. It was rough driving through SingBuri. Memories of my mother’s accident came crashing back. I try to push them away but I can’t. I still remember that day vividly. They never caught the driver. It was a hit and run. They did find alcohol in the car so he had to have been drinking. We checked with the owner of the taxi company but they had no paperwork on file for the guy. He was just a small village guy coming into SingBuri for work. My dad spent three years after my mother’s death trying to find the guy to make him pay for what he did. The guy was like a ghost. He just disappeared. My father swore if he ever found the man responsible he would make him pay. An eye for an eye he said. I looked into it when I was older but found nothing. I dropped it. Nothing I do to the man would bring my mother back nor give me and Juang the childhood we lost. I finally arrive at the address Dr. Pedchai wrote down for me. I park my bike at what looks like the local orphanage that Dr. Pedchai told me about. I grab my backpack and walk towards the house that is not too far away from it. I look at the house. At least it has walls. It may take me a while to get accustomed to this but it’s worth not having to deal with Roong and my father. As I walk up the stairs, I see a man and a woman walk up to the house. She must be Dr. Pedchai’s sister.
“Si: Sawadee Khun Khap. Did you find everything ok?”
“K: You must be Khun Sinjai. I actually just got here. Is it ok to park my motorcycle over there?”
“Si: That’s fine. That is where my husband and I stay. There is an extra room at the orphanage and it is in better shape than what we have here. Please make yourself at home and let us know if you need anything. You can come get us any time.”
“K: Thank you for your kindness. Um, is the kid..you know the little boy..”
“Si: Parob? Yes, he is over there. He should have just finished eating now and is probably getting ready for his shower. Would you like to go see him now?”
“K: That’s ok. Maybe another time.”
“Si: Ok, tell us if you need anything. “
After unpacking the little that I have, my curiosity got the best of me and I started walking around the compound. The area was nice. There was a little area that I could play some soccer. Maybe I could break the ice with Parob by playing some soccer. Unless he just hates me on sight. There’s a strong possibility that he may take one look at me and know what I did. Maybe my sins are branded on me. As I round the orphanage, I see a little boy standing in the doorway. I already know that’s him. He has his mother’s eyes. I’ll never forget the fear in her eyes when her husband killed her. The sadness. The regret. Sometimes I see her eyes when I shut my eyes to go to sleep. Either her eyes or my mother’s eyes are what haunts me at night. On good nights, I tsee the shape of a woman’s face in my dreams. Someone I have never met but I feel connected to. I can’t make the details of her face but she calms me down. She makes me feel this burning sensation deep in my chest. It’s crazy and I can’t explain it. But, I am happiest when she comes in my dreams. It may be the side effects of the anti-depression medicine I am taking though. Who knows? The kid and I have a staring contest that seems to last forever. I then hear a voice that shakes me to my core.
“Fe: Parob, why aren't you getting ready for your shower. If you are last, all the hot...”
Her voice ignites this burning sensation in my chest. She comes into full view and I can’t stop staring at her. She’s beautiful. Not the kind of beauty that just catches you off guard at first glance, but the kind that leaves a long lasting impression. The kind of beauty that penetrates every fiber of your being. Everything about her draws me in. I have to stop myself from reaching out to touch her to make sure she is real. I’ve seen her before. I am sure of it. Before I am able to stop myself, I bring her into my arms and hold her. I never want to let go. She doesn’t resist. Next thing I know, I am falling. Falling into this sea of darkness.
“Si: Khap.. are you ok? I think he’s coming to.”
“K: What happened? I feel like someone took a sledgehammer and went to town on my head.”
“Fa: Ai baa, next time you come close to my sister again, it will be a sledgehammer. Be lucky it was only a pestle!”
“Fe: Fang!”
“K: You hit me with a pestle?! Are you crazy? You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”
I reach out to feel the back of my head. Yea, it’s going to be the size of a baseball by tomorrow morning. I look at the girl who hit me and then back at the angel next to her. That’s her sister? They couldn’t be any more different. Where my lady was prim and proper, this girl was just messy and wild. Did I say just say my lady? Damn, I must have been hit hard.
“Fe: Khun, I apologize for my sister. She is still young and doesn’t know right and wrong yet. Please don’t press any charges.”
I caught in the trance again. I can’t stop staring at her. That is until I feel a little hand slap my face. What the hell is up with these people?
“Fe: Parob! What are you doing?! Don’t hit him. Khun, I am so very sorry.”
I look at the little perpetrator. This may be harder than I thought. I glance at the angel’s sister and see her smirk. Yea, this is going to be a long and difficult road for me.
“K: It’s fine. Just let me sit up and reorient myself. I am sorry what happened back there. I thought you were someone else.”
Lies. I wanted to hug her. I want to hug her again actually but I may not make it two steps forward with tweedledee and tweedledum in the way. I get up slowly, hoping the room would stop spinning. Dr. Pedchai’s sister brings me a glass of water. I drink it up and hold my head in my hands. Waiting for everything to settle down.
“Si: Feung, Fang, this is my brother’s friend, Khap, from Bangkok. He will be staying here for a while. I’m sorry if there was any type of misunderstanding.”
I hear the wild sister, Fang, scoff.
“Fa: Bangkok men. Think they can come into town with their fancy clothes and cars and have all the women of Khai BangRajun fall at their feet.”
“K: I actually rode a motorcycle here.”
“Fa: Same difference. Bangkok men are all the same. Leave my sister alone or else you will be in worst shape than you are now.”
I’ve never hit a girl before and I am not going to start now. I stand up.
“K: Look, I am sorry for the misunderstanding. Can we start over?”
I look at Fang. I avoid eye contact with her sister because I may just hug her again and her crazy sister and little man may just kill me. I make eye contact with the kid, Parob. He kicks me in the shin. What the fuck?! I bite my tongue. Maybe he knows what I did. Maybe this is my atonement. I catch Fang smirking out of the corner of my eye. The angel, Feung, picks up Parob and whispers something to him. She lets him down and he runs off.
“Fe: Khun Khap. I’m sorry for how Fang and Parob is acting. They usually do not act like this.”
“K: Just call me Khap. No need to be formal. I’m just a normal guy trying to seek refuge here in Khai BangRajun.”
“Fa: How about we just call you “Ngoo”?”
“K: Why would you call me a snake?”
“Fa: Because all men from Bangkok are snakes.”
“Fe: Fang, can you go help P’Sinjai with the kids please.”
“Fa: But P’Feung.”
“Fe: Fang, please.”
The fireball walks out of the room huffing and puffing. Now, it’s just me and Feung.
“Fe: I’m sorry again Khun..”
“K: Just Khap please.”
“Fe: I don’t feel comfortable calling you that.”
“K: How about P’Khap then. I’m probably older than you.”
“Fe: I rather call you Khun Khap.”
“K: That’s fine. Whatever you want to call me.”
“Fe: How did you know who I was earlier?”
“K: What do you mean?”
“Fe: When you called me Mae Feung.”
“K: You must have misheard me. I didn’t say that.”
Lies again. I know I said Mae Feung. I just don’t know why. Dr. Pedchai must have mentioned it in one of our conversations. How else would I know to have called her Mae Feung? She doesn’t look like she believes me.
“K: Have we met before?”
“Fe: It wouldn’t have been possible. I’ve never been to Bangkok or stepped foot outside of SingBuri Province.”
I study her. I want to ingrain her face in my memory forever. I want to hold her again. I take a step closer but then got shoved ten steps back. Fang, of course.
“Fa: Ngoo, what did I tell you about staying away from my sister? P’Feung, I’m done. Let’s go home.”
“Fe: Goodbye Khun Khap.”
I nod my head and whispered, “Goodbye Mae Feung.”
“Fa: I hope we don’t see you again Ngoo.”
“Fe: Fang!”
I am glad Juang is not like that. Speaking of Juang, I need to call her and make sure she and Sang haven’t killed each other yet.
 
Feung-
I feel like I am still in a daze as I walk home with Fang. I hear Fang complaining about Khun Khap but I can’t exactly make out what she is saying. I am lost in my own head. His eyes are so familiar. Where have I seen him before? Like I told him, it was impossible that we have met before being I never leave SingBuri. I was shocked when he hugged me. The shock was then replaced by comfort. I felt safe in his arms. He felt familiar. I should have pushed him away but it felt like time had stopped and it was only me and him. I shake my head. What is wrong with you Feung? You are a Thai woman! Have some shame and decency. My first hug from a man was from a man I don’t think I’ve ever met before. I need to stay away from him. He makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before. He makes me feel like I am no longer in control of my body. Fang’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Fa: P’Feung, P’Feung, what are you thinking about that you aren’t even paying attention to me?”
“Fe: Nothing.”
“Fa: P’Feung, are you thinking about that con baa? Do you know him? Why did you let him hug you? You didn’t even push him away.”
“Fe: What was I supposed to do Fang? I was in shock.”
“Fa: You push him away. Hit him. Kick him. Something! What would have happened if I didn’t go in the room at that time?”
“Fe: Nothing would have happened, Fang. He wouldn’t have done anything crazy.”
“Fa: How do you know P’Feung? Have you met him before this? You’re acting strange.”
“Fe: I feel like I can trust him Fang. That is why. I don’t know why he hugged me and I didn’t have time to react. Don’t worry about it anymore. We probably won’t see much of him anyways.”
When we got home, the house was a mess again. Father was probably looking to see if we had any money hidden. If he is not spending money on alcohol, he spends it on gambling. When he runs out of the money he makes, he takes whatever little that we have saved up. I don’t keep money at the house. I asked P’Sinjai to keep the money I have been saving to buy the orphanage so that it will stay safe. Father hasn’t come home yet since the food I left earlier is still uneaten. Fang and I cleaned the house and went to the lake to shower. I was sitting on the steps drying my hair when a voice startled me.
“J: Feung, I wanted to make sure you two made it home okay.”
I nodded.
“Fa: P’Jai, please find someone else to worry about. P’Feung is my sister. I can take care of her.”
“J: Fang, I just worry about you two. Regardless of how strong and fierce you are, you are still women. You won’t always win. I care for you two like I would my sisters.”
“Fa: As long as you see you see P’Feung as your sister and nothing more. You’re not good enough for her P’Jai.
I see P’Jai looking down at his feet. I don’t have any other feelings for P’Jai other than him being a big brother. I also don’t want to hurt his feelings. Sometimes Fang is too blunt. She is brave to say things that I think but am too afraid to say.
“Fe: Fang, please don’t talk to P’Jai like that. He is like our older brother. You need to show him some respect.”
“Fa: I’m sorry, P’Jai. I would just rather you hurt now than later when you’re in too deep. I welcome you as our brother. Nothing else.”
With that, Fang walks back inside the room.
“Fe: P’Jai. I’m sorry for what Fang said but I do see you only as a big brother. I think in this life, I want to spend all my love on those kids at the orphanage.
“J: I understand Feung. If you only accept me in the capacity of a big brother, I will take it. I can’t just turn off my feelings for you though. Please let me protect you until you find someone who is good enough to take care of you and give you a comfortable life.”
“Fe: P’Jai, you should find a good girl to take care of you. My life is that orphanage and Fang. I don’t have room in my heart for anything else.
I get up to join Fang in the room. As I lay awake, my thoughts drift to Khun Khap and the events earlier today. I don’t think I can ever forget his eyes. All I see is sadness. I see the same thing when I look into Parob’s eyes. Sadness and emptiness. Fighting to make it through another day. I wonder what people see when they look into my eyes.
 
Khap-
Khai BangRajun is not all that big. There are several small villages that make up Khai BangRajun. The village where I am staying at, Kamyat village, was mainly farmland. I woke up and did my run routine this morning and did make it a point to try and find out what where Mae Feung’s house was. P’Sinjai pointed in the general direction to show me but I still haven’t figured out which house was hers. Mae Feung. Every time I say her name I want to smile. Is this what love is? I love Juang and Sang but this is a different feeling. I know what I have with Roong is not love. I never want to be near her or touch her. With Mae Feung, just being next to her soothes me. She has this calming effect on me that I can’t quite explain. I give up on finding her house after a while and jog back to the orphanage. I end up in a field that could easily be set up as a soccer field. I will have to check with P”Sinjai to see if she can find out who the owner is. If the price is right, I could purchase the land and make it into a soccer field for the kids at the orphanage to play in. Soccer is another great love in my life. I used to go out to the soccer field to kick out for some of the frustration when I would get into it with my father or Roong was just getting on my nerves. I see P’Sinjai walking out the orphanage. I run over to chat with her about the property.
“Si: Good morning Khap. Did you sleep okay?”
“K: I haven’t slept that well in a while to be honest. P’Sinjai, can you tell me who owns the property over there? It doesn’t look like it’s being used and I think it would be a good place to build a soccer field so that the kids can play.”
“Si: My husband’s sister owns the property. She’s moved out to Bangkok for a while now. I can ask if we can use the land. I am pretty sure she won’t mind. It’s not being used for anything right now.”
“K: I want to buy it.”
“Si: Don’t you think that is too soon? You’ve only been here a couple of days. Are you sure you want to make that type of investment?”
“K: P’Sinjai, I’m not buying to make a profit off of it. I want to build something to give to these kids. Growing up, soccer probably saved my life. It was either taking my frustration out on the field or getting into fights. I mean, I still got into fights, but soccer has helped me out a lot and I hope it helps these kids.”
“Si: That’s very kind of you Khap. I am pretty sure Feung will be very happy when she hears about this. I will call my sister in law right away.”
“K: Uh, I am not doing it for her. I am doing it for the kids.”
P’Sinjai just laughs at me. Did I say something funny? It wasn’t my intention to impress Mae Feung by doing this. However, I wouldn’t mind if she was impressed.
“Si: Khap, I see things that most people don’t see.”
“K: Well, what do you see?”
“Si: I’ll tell you one day but today is not today. I will see you later.”
I laugh. Maybe she should visit her brother more often. I’m excited about the prospect of building a soccer field. It would give me something to do out here. My phone rings. Sang and Juang are both calling me. Fucking fantastic.
 
CHAPTER FIVE
Bangkok
Sang-
I swear to buddah I am going to kill her. How can someone so pretty be so infuriating? I am supposed to pick her up at the house to take her to school at 7:30am this morning. I get to the house and no one is home. I’m thinking the worst has happened. Juang has been kidnapped. Khap is going to kill me. I blow up her phone with phone calls and messages and she doesn’t answer. I call some of her friends to see if they know where she is at and no one knows. I call her father and he doesn’t know. You would think her father would be more concerned than this. I don’t understand parents. Why have kids if you don’t want them. They make contraceptives. Jeez. I focus back on the task at hand: operation find Juang. I am on the way to the University when I spot her at a popular breakfast spot with a guy. I look again to make sure it is a guy that I am seeing and not some tomboy. Yep, it’s a guy. About to be a dead guy. Juang laughs at something the jerk says. She never laughs like that with me. The punk reaches out and touches Juang’s hand. She retracts her hand politely. The nerve of the little shit. I park my car and run over to where they are at.
“S: Juang, who is this and why are you out with him?”
“Ju: P’Sang, this is P’Pope who is the upperclassman tutoring me for finals.”
“S: They don’t have any girl tutors? Why him? He doesn’t even look smart. Why are you calling him pee? He is not your brother.”
“Ju: P’Sang! I call you pee and we are not related. Stop making a scene, people are starting to look this way.”
“P: He’s not your brother?”
“Ju: He’s my brother’s best friend.”
“P: Hey man. Don’t worry about what I am to Juang. You should worry about yourself. Why did you touch her? Last I checked, touching wasn’t a requirement for studying. Listen to me and listen to me carefully. Don’t talk to Juang. Don’t look at Juang. Don’t even THINK about talking or looking at Juang. I’ll make your life miserable.”
“Ju: P’Sang! Stop this. He is just my tutor. Nothing is going on!”
“P: Are you threatening me?”
“S: Not threatening. Promising. If you come around Juang again, I will beat the shit out of you. Now move along.”
The twit jumps out of his seat and starts for his car.
“S: Hey! Come pay for the food asshole!”
He quickly tosses money on the table and hurries away. I take his seat in front of Juang. Ooh.. I always wanted to try the breakfast sandwiches here. I take a bit out of the food and it was heaven. The reviews were spot on about this place. I glance up to look at Juang. She glares at me with murderous intent.
“S: What?”
“Ju: P’Sang! Why do you always do this to me? He was my tutor for goodness sake. He is not out to steal my virtue. Not all guys are like you! I hate you!”
“S: What do you mean like me?”
“Ju: You use girls for one thing. And when you are done, you toss them away.”
“S: Those girls are after the same thing so I don’t see what the problem is.”
“Ju: You are such a pig P’Sang. One day you are going to get your heart broken by a girl.”
“S: She is already breaking my heart Juang. Every single day.”
Crap. I said too much. Just shut up Sang. Think about Khap killing you. Abort abort!
 
Juang-
 
His comment catches me by surprise. I’ve never seen him with a girl for longer than two weeks. Who is this girl? Could it be..
“S: You want to date Ah Tote or whatever his name is. Go ahead. Don’t come crying to me if he overthinks your actions and think you want to give him more and tries to take advantage of you. The way you flirt and laugh with him. Guys will misunderstand and think you are wanting to offer more! I am just looking out for you as a big brother.”
I hate him. I really do. He is 1% nice and 99% asshole. I feel the tears falling down my face.
“Ju: I hate you P’Sang.
I start bawling my eyes out. By the time I open my eyes again, P’Sang is kneeling in front of me. He takes my hands into his hands.
“S: Juang, don’t cry. I don’t say these things to hurt your feelings. I say them because I care for you. I don’t want guys to hurt you. You are smart and beautiful…Well, not when you are crying. You have an ugly cry. You may need to work on that.”
 
I move my hand to slap him on the shoulder. He takes my hand back.
“S: Seriously Juang. If anybody ever did anything to you, Khap and I would go crazy. I’m sorry if I was harsh on you.”
He looked sincere enough.
“Ju: You have to buy me ice cream after you pick me up from school and maybe I’ll think about forgiving you. Maybe.”
“S: Juang, you know I don’t spend money on anybody..but for your forgiveness, I will make an exception. Ok? Truce? Let’s go.”
We get up to walk to P’Sang’s car. I recognized a friend from school walking towards me. He stops me to ask if I was ready for finals yet. As I was about to respond, I hear P’Sang’s voice.
“S: Juang! Get in the goddamn car right now!”
I look around and everybody is staring at us now. I am mortified. I say bye to my friend and quickly run to the car.
“Ju: P’Sang, are you crazy? He was just a friend from school!”
“S: Have more girl friends. They don’t have the right equipment so I don’t have to worry.”
“Ju: What? You are gross. I am calling P’Khap. You are being unreasonable.”
“S: Go ahead, I’ll call him and tell him you snuck out with a boy this morning.”
 
CHAPTER SIX
BangRajun
Feung-
I show up to the orphanage a little later than normal. The grandma living next to us was not feeling well so I made her some medicine before I left. Father never came home but I still made some breakfast to leave for him in case he came home and was hungry. Today is the day that a school teacher from SingBuri comes and volunteers hours to help teach the kids. She comes once a week to teach the kids basic reading, writing, and math. We are still trying to develop a curriculum to accommodate the age differences between all the kids. They range from two years old to twelve years old. It’s hard to do since we only have one day out of the week with the teacher. The other days I work with P’Sinjai to reinforce what they learned with the teacher. I teach the younger kids the alphabets, numbers, and objects four days out of the week. I help reinforce reading, writing, and math with the older kids most of those days also. It’s a lot of work but when I see how happy the kids are, I feel content also. I glance at my watch. It’s almost time for me to start prepping for lunch. I also need to set some snacks out for the kids as they get out of class. As I rush into the kitchen area, I bump into someone and it almost knocks me on the ground. Luckily, the person grabs me by the waist before I fell. As I regain my balance, I look at who it was that I bumped into. It was none other than Khun Khap. His eyes have captured mines again. I can’t look away. Why are his eyes so sad? What is his story? His voice suddenly brings me back to reality.
“K: Feung, are you ok? I’m so sorry.”
“Fe: I’m ok. I should really watch where I am going. What are you doing here? Do you need something?”
“K: P’Sinjai said I could use the kitchen to cook breakfast but I have no idea where everything is.”
I noticed that his arms are still around me. They feel comfortable. Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach right now. Wait, Feung. This is wrong. You should not be acting or thinking like this.
“Fe: Khun, you can let go of me now.”
“K: Oh sorry. I didn’t realize I was still holding on to you. Sorry.”
He dropped his hands quickly. I can see his dimples. He is actually very cu… I shake my head again. Ah, what is wrong with me?
“Fe: I can show you where everything is real quick if you want. “
He smiles again and I see those dimples again.
“K: Actually, I lied. I just don’t know how to cook. I usually eat out or my sister cooks for me.”
“Fe: When was the last time you ate then?”
“K: At a restaurant right before I got to Khai BangRajun.”
“Fe: You must be starving! I can cook something for you real quick. Just have a seat.”
I go to the kitchen to whip something up real quick. Luckily, there was still some cooked rice left. I scooped some up in a bowl for him. Once I was done I took it over to the table he was sitting at. I also set down a glass of water for him.
“K: This looks and smells really good. Why don’t you eat with me?”
I haven’t eaten yet but I’m afraid there is not enough rice for two. I have some cooking now so it should be done soon. I can eat with the kids.
“Fe: You go on and eat. I’m ok for now.”
“K: You haven’t eaten yet have you? C’mon and join me. I can’t eat all of this by myself. It’s too much food.”
“Fe: There is barely any rice .I’m ok really.”
“K: If you don’t eat, I’m not going to eat. I will starve to death. My father once told me that I would make a mean ghost when I die. You don’t want me scaring off all your kids do you?”
“Fe: You? A mean ghost. You would have to be a mean person to be a mean ghost. I don’t see anything mean about you.”
“K: You haven’t met Khap Thakrit yet then. Well, being here has helped a lot too. I don’t feel angry all the time like I did before. And when I talk to you, I feel calm. Happy. C’mon just eat a little bit with me, please.”
He gets up to look for another bowl. I point out where we kept the bowls and utensils. He scoops some of the rice and placed it in the bowl for me. I guess I can’t not eat now. So here I am, eating with the one person I should really stay away from.
 
Khap-
I can’t stop smiling. I'm pretty sure I look like an idiot right now. She keeps trying to avoid eye contact with me as we eat. It's ok though. It gives me a chance to study her face. She's beautiful. Her eyes, nose, skin, and lips. If I wasn't trying to be such a gentleman, I would have kissed those lips already. It would be worth getting killed by her sister. I want her. I want to keep her forever. I can tell I am already getting possessive of her. I need to break things off with Roong as soon as possible. I can't make any moves with Feung until I am a free man. If Feung would give me a chance, I don't want Roong overshadowing us.
“K: Have you lived here your whole life?”
“Fe: Both Fang and I were born and raised here. Kamyat has always been home for us. And you?”
“K: My sister and I were born in Bangkok. Never lived anywhere else. Bangkok doesn't feel like home though. Not like here. I feel like this is home.”
“Fe: Here in Khai BangRajun? You feel this is home? Usually people want to leave here. Not many stay. It's mostly the older generation that lives here.”
“K: Why do you stay here then?”
“Fe: Because this is my home. The orphanage is my haven. My dream is to save up enough money so that I can buy this place to raise the kids that have been willingly and unwillingly left by their parents. Khun, these kids, they have so much life in them. I don't want them to wither and die. I want to help nurture and grow them. When they get older, I want to send them out in the world and have them contribute back.”
I can watch her talk all day. She's so passionate and so kind. I find myself falling deeper and deeper the more I look at her. I ache to hold and kiss her.
“K: Do you almost have enough to buy the place yet”
She shakes her head.
“K: How much more do you need?”
“Fe: I want to buy it with my own money. I can't stop you from donating your money but donations will go to operating the orphanage. I am saving up from jobs that I do here and there. The owner pays me a small salary to help maintain the orphanage. The place would be in better shape if the owner would give us the assistance money that the government gives each month to the orphanage. Instead, they just pocket the money.”
I slam my hand on the table, startling her.
“K: They can't do that. That is against the law. Why has no one reported them?”
“Fe: If we report them, they will shut this place down. Children's Haven would be no more. These kids will no longer have a place to stay.”
Fucking A. I hate this shit. Why are there people out there like that.
“K: How about this. If you won't let me help you buy the place, how about you let me pay you in exchange for cooking and doing laundry for me? My sister usually does those things for me. Now, I'm out here alone and have to fend for myself. I can learn to do them on my own but I would rather not if you are willing to help me out?”
“Fe: I don't know...”
“K: Look, and don't be trying to rip me off. I won't pay you more than the normal price.”
I get a smile from her.
“K: Please? At least have pity on me. I really do not know how to cook. I hate doing laundry. I hate folding. It would really be helping me out. We can work out a schedule where you only do it when you are free. Will that work?”
I do my best to give her my pleading face. I hope she says yes so I get to see her every day.
 
Feung-
The extra money would really help me purchase this place faster. I have already saved up 75% percent of the purchase price. I look at Khun Khap. I am not sure if he is trying to give me a sad or smiley face. It looks like a sad face but his dimples are showing. I laugh at his expression.
“Fe: Ok. I'll do it. I won't be giving you any discount through. I am going to charge you as much as anyone else would charge you.”
“K: I wouldn't have it any other way.”
He reaches his hand out for a handshake. As tempted as I am to feel his touch again, I wai him instead. He gives me a dimpled smile. It's hard not to smile back at him. He slides over his empty plates to me.
“K: I guess we can start now. Can you wash my dishes for me too? I hate cleaning.”
I try and stifle a laugh.
“Fe: Khun, what do you like? I'll I've heard so far is I hate this and I hate that. Do you like antything?”
“K: I like you.”
And just like that, he walks away. I am sure my face is turning red. I pick up the plates to go wash hoping my blush will go away by the time the kids come out for lunch. I smile to myself. His eyes are look different now. There is still sadness there but I also see light now. It makes me happy that he is happy. I don't know why. I haven't known him for more than a few days. I shake my head and continue to wash the dishes. I have to figure out when I would have time to do his laundry. Cooking is easy. I can cook for him when I cook for the kids. I feel someone tugging on my dress. I look down to see Parob. He hold's his hands out for me to hold him. I dry my hands quickly and pick him up. The bigger kids tease him and call him a baby. I want to hold him as much as I can because soon he will be too big to carry. Or, he will go to a nice family and I would never get to see him again. He helps me dry the dishes and then set the table for the kids to have lunch. The day goes by quickly. Next thing I know, it's almost time for dinner and Fang will be home from school soon. I set some food aside for Khun Khap. As I start to pass the food out to the kids, Fang shows up. I fix her a plate also. By the time we are done with dinner, it was almost dark and we started getting ready to get home. I wanted to drop off Khun Khap's food on our way home.
“Fa: Where are you going P'Feung. Home is this way remember?”
“Fe: I need to drop this of to Khun Khap real quick.”
“Fa: When did you start cooking for him? Tell him to go find someone else to cook for him. Let's go.”
“Fe: Fang, I am not doing this for free. He is paying me to cook and clean for him. It will help us purchase the orphanage faster.”
“Fa: P'Feung! Why would you do that?! I told you I would help you with the money. I don't want you to have to be a housemaid for someone just to make extra money. No. You are not doing this.”
“Fe: Fang, I am the older sister here. If you love me, you have to listen to me. Khun Khap means no harm. He is not used to being on his own and having to do things himself. We are just going to help him out until he learns how to cook and clean himself. Ok?”
“Fa: Fine. Let me take the food to him then.
She grabs the basket from my hand and walks up the house. All I hear is a loud thud and I see Fang coming back down the stairs. She grabs my arm and starts walking home.
“Fa: Don't worry. He got the food. Let's go. “
We run into P'Jai in front of our house.
“Fe: P'Jai. Where have you been? I haven't seen you around lately.”
“J: I've been busy helping the neighbors with their famland. Actually, that is why I came over. They need some help in Ta Chang so I will be over there for a couple of months. I won't be in Khai BangRajun for a while and I wanted to make sure you have everything you need. If you need anything, you can find me in Ta Chang.”
“Fa: We will be fine P'Jai. No need to worry about us. Worry about yourself.”
“Fe: Take care of yourself P'Jai.”
P'Jai looks as us again before leaving. Fang and I walk up the stairs of our house. It looks like our father is home tonight.
“P: What kind of daughter comes home this late? What kind of daughter leaves their father to fend for themselves? No food! No nothing!
“Fa: What kind of...”
“Fe: I'll go cook something for you real quick Por.”
By the time I was done cooking and cleaning, was really late. I took a quick shower and laid down to sleep. When I close my eyes, all I see is Khun Khap and his dimpled smile.
 
CHAPTER SEVEN
Khap-
My diagnosis is that Fang is officially crazy. The crazy bat brought my basket of food and threw is down right in front of me. The contents spilled all over the place. Her parting words was, “Enjoy your dinner, Pig.” What the hell have I done that offended her so much. I can't pick where I was born. Blame my parents for that one. I need to call Juang. I ignored both her and Sang's calls today. They probably fought over something silly such as where to eat. I was too busy being on cloud nine today just being able to have a moment with Feung. She makes everything better. She makes breathing easier. I think she is the faceless woman in my dreams. I no longer see her in my dreams but I remember the feeling I get when I dream about her. I get this burning sensation in my chest right where my heart is at. I get the same feeling when I am around Feung. I pick up my phone and call Juang. She picks up on the fourth ring.
“Ju: P'Khap! Why didn't you pick up my calls earlier? I was worried sick about you. I almost had P'Sang go over there to check on you. Are you ok?”
“K: I'm fine. What did you call for?”
“Ju: P'Sang made me cry again. He embarrassed me in public P'Khap. He is getting out of hand. You need to do something. He saw me with a guy at breakfast....”
“K: Wait, what guy were you with Juang? Why were you out with him?”
I grate my teeth. I hate it when I see guys swarm around my sister. I see in their eyes what they want when they look at her. I'm a guy so I know what they are thinking. My sister is too naive to see that.
“Ju: Let me finish P'Khap. He is a tutor at the University. He was helping me study for exams. We were hungry and decided to go grab breakfast. It was totally innocent. P'Sang made a big deal out of it and even threatened him!”
“K: Good for Ai Sang. Next time you go study with a guy, take Ai Sang with you. If he is working, reschedule your study session.”
“Ju: But P'Khap!”
“K: No buts Juang. I mean it. I called you for something else. I met a girl here and she is going to be the one I marry Juang.”
“Ju: But Pee, what about Roong.”
“K: You know Roong and I don't love each other. Roong wants our money. She can have it if she wants it. I just want to end the engagement. Can you set up a meeting with her for me in a month or so? I want to end it face to face. I also want you there just in case she goes bat shit crazy. I've never hit a woman..and I have no intention to start with Roong. You can hit her for me though.”
“Ju: Gladly. I never did like her anyways. “
“K: Don't tell father yet though. Has he asked for me?”
Silence. It means he hasn’t asked for me or cared how I was doing. My sweet sister didn’t want to lie to me but also didn’t want to hurt my feelings. What she doesn't know if that I am always in a constant state of hurt when I think about my father. I hang up with Juang and start eating my dinner or what's left of it. I laugh at the thought of Fang. It's endearing how much she loves her sister. If I want to get close to Feung, I would have to tolerate Fang. I don't know how to approach that yet. Every time she sees me she comes at me like a rabid dog on the attack. Then there is Parob. I still need to deal with him. God, I wish I could hold Feung now. The next couple of weeks fly by fast. Feung and I fall into this easy routine where I would go and have breakfast and lunch at the orphanage. Dinner she brings over to the house for me before she heads home. I take my clothes to her to wash by the lake on Satudays. I pay her on Sundays. She is more comfortable around me now. She smiles more. I find myself smiling more also. This Saturday I had more clothes for her to wash than usual. P'Sinjai's sister in law agreed to sell me the property to turn into a soccer field. I have been out there every day striping the field and building the net. I had to changes at least three times a day because I was sweating so much in the hot sun. Juang's already sent me clothes twice. Today I sit quietly next to Feung and watch her wash my clothes.
“K: Do you need me to help you?”
“Fe: No, I want you to pay me in full. If you help me, you may ask me for a discount.”
I smile at her and she smiles back. I'm happiest when it's just me and her like this.
“K: I'm almost done with the soccer fields. They should be able to play on it after Songkran is over. “
“Fe: They will be so excited when you tell them. I've seen Parob watching you kick the ball a few times. I think he wants to play too. “
She always gets lost in her thoughts when she talks about the kids. I take her hands in mines.
“K: Feung, you are doing a great job with these kids. When others wouldn't even give them a second glance, you devote your life to them. They are lucky to have you in their lives.”
“Fe: It will be sad to see them leave but I also don't want them to be stuck here forever. If there is a better family for them out there who can give them a comfortable life, I want that for them. I want them to feel love and cherished.”
“K: You love and cherish them here. They are happy here. What are they lacking besides money? Money doesn't always bring you happiness Feung. I know. Trust me. They lack a mother and father? I can be their Por Khap if you want. As long as you're their Mae Feung.”
She removes her hands from mines and hits me on the shoulders. I know she is not mad because she is smiling. I love her smile. I love her lips. I love everything about her. Especially her lips. I take her hand again. In an instance, I lose my self control and lean in to kiss her on those beautiful lips. I think I was just as surprised as she was when that happened. I pull back to gauge her expression. She doesn't say anything so I kiss her again. This time longer and more intense. She is the first to pull back this time. Her breathing is irregular. So is mine. I am pretty sure my heart is jumping out of my chest. I let go of her hands and lean back against the dock I lay beside her and she continues washing my clothes. I can get use to this. I really can.
 
CHAPTER EIGHT
Feung -
I am not sure what I am doing with Khun Khap. My head says no but my heart says yes. I allowed him to kiss me; twice. If Fang ever found out, she would kill him. Even though I was the one who should have stopped it from happening. I glance over at Khun Khap who is now sound asleep on the dock beside me. He must be tired from all the outside work he is doing on the soccer field. He has only been here a month but it feels like I have known him forever. I finish washing his clothes and start putting them in the basket so that I can go dry them. I probably should wake him up. I shake him gently.
Fe: Khun Khap..wake up. You should go and rest at the house.”
K: Hmmm..Mae Feung? How long have I been asleep? I must be more tired than I think.”
“Fe: Not too long, but I am ready to go now.”
We walk back to the house in silence. We continue this comfortable routine. Our time together was filled with stolen hugs and kisses and I allowed it. I crave his touch as much as he craves mines. Any resistance I had against him was long gone. Days turn into weeks and next thing I know, it is already Songkran. Khun Khap said his sister and best friend were going to visit him during Songkran and he would like to introduce me. I'm nervous and don't know how to present myself. I've never had anyone place such importance on me to where they want to introduce me to people they know. They should be arriving sometime later today. I'm currently trying to get breakfast ready for the kids and making a mental list of what I need to go buy when I go shop for the upcoming festivities. As I think to myself, I feel strong arms envelope me from behind.
K: What's for breakfast?”
Fe: Khun Khap, let me go before someone sees.”
K: I miss you though.”
He gives me a small kiss on the cheek. I try and squirm out of his embrace. I'm scared Fang might see us. She doesn't have school this week so she should be around here somewhere. He finally lets me go.
Fe: You see me every day.”
K: Even every day is not enough. I want to see you every minute, every second.”
Fe: You are talking crazy. Do you want me to cook extra lunch since your sister and friend is going to be here later?”
K: Don't worry about lunch. I think we may just eat at SingBuri capital. I want you to go with us.”
Fe: I can't. I have to say with the kids here.”
Si: Feung, go ahead and go with Khap. Go enjoy being young. You never get to go out and have fun. My husband and I can handle the kids for the rest of the day.”
Fe: P'Sinjai. Thank you but...”
K: No excuses Feung. P”Sinjai said it's ok. You can even bring Fang if you want to.”
Fe: I...”
Si: Go Feung. It's ok.”
They are double teaming me. I have no excuse to say no now. I agree to go with Khun Khap. Fang isn't going to like this. I nod my head.
K: Great, it's agreed on. You can't back out now. Let me go call Juang and see where they are at.”
What have I gotten myself into?
 
CHAPTER NINE
Sang -
I am so tired. I just got off a twelve hour shift and now I am making a two and a half hour drive to spend a week in the countryside. Lack of sleep puts me in a bad mood. Juang texting and not paying attention to be puts me in a worse mood. She's smiling at her phone again. That's it! I slam on the brakes.
“Ju: What the hell P'Sang. I almost flew out the window!”
S: Sorry, there was a squirrel.”
Ju: Be more careful.”
S: Yes, Mae Juang.”
Ju: Don't call me that. It makes me feel old.”
S: You complain like an old lady.”
Ju: Well you drive like an old man. At the rate we are going, Songkran will be over by the time we make it there.”
S: Do you want to walk? I bet you I will make it there before you.”
Ju: You are so moody today. Are you sad that you won't get to see your girlfriends for a week?”
I glare at her and she matches my stare. This girl doesn't back down. I turn to the road and continue to drive. Girlfriends. Only if she knew the truth. I bring the girls around to act as a barrier so I don't act on my true feelings. I've known Juang since she was fourteen and she caught my attention then but I didn't do anything about it because she was way too young. Of course now, she is off limits because she is Khap's younger sister. Oh stupid heart! Why must you love the one you can't have?
 
Juang -
I must have hit a nerve with the girlfriend comment. I've met all the girls that he's brought around. They are all ditzy. He could do so much better. He thinks I don't know but I know he is tough on the outside and sweet on the inside. If you dig deep enough, he is a very sweet and loyal guy. But you have to dig very very deep. I mean once you think you dug deep enough, keep digging a little more. That's how deep you have to dig to find sweet Sang. Since he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, I go back to looking at funny cat pictures. Some are so ridiculous I can't stop laughing. I think of something.
Ju: P'Sang, do you think my brother is going to move back to Bangkok?”
S: I don't know, he sounds like he is happy there. If I find a place where I'm happy, I wouldn't go back to Bangkok. Not many good memories back there. “
Ju: Not even with us?”
S: The only happy memories I have ARE with you guys Juang. The other parts of my life are forgettable.”
Ju: P'Sang..”
S: Let's not talk about me. Talk about your brother. I think he met a girl there.”
Ju: He did! Did you know he asked me to set something up for him and Roong? He said he is going to break off the engagement. I'm so excited! If he married Roong, he would be unhappy for the rest of his life. He can't even stand being in the same room as her for two seconds.”
S: Roong reminds me of a giraffe.”
Ju: It's the long neck right? I thought I was the only one that say that! That is too funny. Have you noticed how she keeps clearing her throat? That is the most annoying sound ever. I mean just spit it out already.”
S: You know. I was watching this documentary about the Kayan Lawhi tribe. You know the one where the women wear the rings around their neck? Well, I wonder if Roong was secretly part of that tribe. She only puts the rings around her necks when she sleeps. That's the only explanation I can come up with for her long neck. It's freakishly long.”
We both look at each other and started laughing. Leave it up to P'Sang to think of things like that. I really want to meet this girl that seems to have stolen my brother's heart. I hope P'Khap finds his happiness. My brother was never the same after our mother's death. Even before her death, he was innately a sad person. My mother use to say that he was born a sad baby. He didn't laugh or smile as a baby. She said the first time he smiled was when I was born. Throughout the years I see my brother struggle to make it day to day. It's like he had to will himself to live each day. My mother's death and the shooting incident made it even worst. My greatest fear is losing my brother to his depression. I tear up thinking about it. The car comes to a sudden stop.
S: Juang, what's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?”
Ju: Just my heart P'Sang. My heart hurts for P'Khap.”
S: We're not going to lose him. I promise you. I love him like a brother. I won't let anything happen to him.”
My phone starts ringing. It's P'Khap.
Ju: P'Khap? Yes, we should be there in an hour or so. We would’ve been there sooner but P'Sang is driving slower than a grandpa. Yes, I have the address. Bye.”
S: Get out of my car.”
Ju: No. Keep driving old man.”
 
Khap -
Juang and Sang arrived around 11am. I did the introductions and helped them get settled in at the house. We then started getting ready to go to SingBuri capital.
S: We won't all fit in the car. You are going to have to take your motorcycle Ai Khap.”
K: That's fine. Feung, do you want to ride with me?”
Fa: No, P'Feung can ride in the car. I'll ride with you.”
K: No, I'm afraid that you are going to do something intentional and get me killed.”
Fa: I'm not that cruel.”
K: You hit me in the head with a pestle..a stone pestle.”
S: She hit you with a pestle? Did you hit her back?”
K: I don't hit women Ai Sang.”
S: She looks like a tomboy. They are a different species than women.”
Within fifteen seconds, Sang was on his ass.
S: What the hell just happened!?”
K: I think she just kicked your ass man.”
Sang stands up and raises both his hands up.
S: She's not riding with me. Hell no.”
Ju: Are you okay, P'Khap? Did you have a doctor look at it?”
K: It's fine Juang. She only intended brain damage not death. Feung, do you want to ride with me? Fang can ride with Sang and Juang.”
Fa: You only have one helmet. How can you be so irresponsible and want P”Feung to ride without a helmet?”
K: She can use mines. I don't need one.”
Fe: That's okay. I'll ride with Fang in the back of the car. You keep the helmet. It's dangerous to ride without a helmet.”
They turn to get into Sang's car. The little one turns and sticks her tongue at me. That little firecracker. I'll teach her a lesson one day. Although, it is nice to know that she will always protect Feung. I get on my bike and lead the way to SingBuri.
 
CHAPTER TEN
Fang -
I hate car rides. They make me sick. I prefer being in the open air on the motorcycle. I was hoping Dimples would have let me ride with him. Now I am stuck in the car with Lips and Eyes. Eyes, whose name I believe is Juang, keeps glancing at me nervously. I've never seen anyone with such big eyes. I guess she's scared I may take a pestle to her head too. She seems okay so we shouldn't have a problem. As long as she doesn't have plans to try and take P'Feung away from me, I won't have a problem with her. Wait. What if she's one of those girls that prefer women? Bangkok people are crazy. You have men who want to be women and women who want to be men. I've seen it on TV. I can't trust her either then. Lips, I already don't trust. He talks way to fast and way too much. Seems like a conman. Did I mention I hate cars? I feel like throwing up. I would love to throw up in this fancy car, but I also don't want to sit here and smell it the whole way there and back. Maybe I'll try and throw up right when we come back. A parting gift, if you will. I lay my head on P'Feung's lap to help with the nausea.
S: What's wrong? You getting carsick?”
Fe: We don't really go around in cars much. We mainly travel by motorcycle, bicycles or ox-carts.”
S: They still have ox-carts?”
Fe: That's the way we get around from village to village if the proximity is close enough.”
Ju: I've never ridden on one before. I would like to before I leave.”
Fe: I'm sure we can find you a ride.”
Ju: Yay, I'm so excited!. Thank you P'Feung!”
Fa: Hey, don't call her P'Feung. She's my sister not yours. And can you please slow down?! The bumps are making me sick.”
I hear the car rev up and feel the car pick up speed. What. A. Jerk.
 
Khap -
I arrive at the restaurant before them so I grab a table and wait. The restaurant is part of the Pongsakorn Hotel. My father was the one who did construction on this project. The Pongsakorn family has given us a lot of business within the last twenty years. I spot Thap Pongsakorn at the reservation desk. We show up at the same functions a lot and always make small talk so I guess you can call us acquaintances. I walk up to say hello to him.
K: Thap. I didnt know you were working here. “
T: My father wanted me to run this site for a couple of months until he can hire a general manager. What brings you here? Business in town?”
K: I'm staying at Khai BangRajun Kamyat village for a while. Clear my head a bit.”
T: I know where that's at. I go to the Children's Haven Orphanage quite a bit. I'm actually courting a girl that works there. Her name.....excuse me for a second Khap. Let me check in this couple real quick.”
I wait around for a bit because I want to know which girl he is courting. It can't be my Mae Feung. I feel the jealousy rising up. Jealousy. That is a new emotion for me and it is creeping up with a vengeance.
T: Hey Khap. I need to do some damage control. There was a mix up in the reservations. You have my number. Call me if you want to hang out. “
He turns and leaves with the couple he was talking to earlier. Great, just great. I'll have to wait to get my answer. I spot my group arriving at the restaurant. Check your jealousy at the door Khap before you loose everything before you even have it. As I walk up to them, I see that there is something definitely wrong with Fang.
K: Are you okay Fang?”
Fa: Don't celebrate yet. I am not dying.”
Fe: She got carsick.”
I know there is a little medicine shop close to here that should sell something to help.
K: Go ahead and sit down. I'll be right back. Juang, order me a water please.”
I went to pick up the medicine for Fang and was back at the restaurant in less than 10 minutes. As I am walking back, I see Feung and Thap talking. She's smiling at him. My jealously flares up again. I just want to yank her away and hold her in my arms away from him. I made my mind up whether I want to have a throw down with Thap in the middle of a restaurant or not. Yep. we are doing this. I quicken my pace towards them but he is called away again. By the time I get to them, he is gone. Feung sees me and smiles at me. My anger dissipates. I am going to have to ask her about her and Thap one day. Today is not the day. I want her first day out with me to be a good one so I place my anger and jealously in check again. I take the medicine to Fang and hand it to her.
Fa: How do I know you didn't poison it?”
K: Because the seal hasn't been broken.”
Fe: Fang, just take it and stop being difficult. It will make you feel better.”
K: If I did anything to hurt you, your sister wouldn't like me very much.”
I smile at Feung. I see her blush and turn away. The rest of the day went by without any major incidents. Well, other than Fang throwing her water in Sang's face. Sang commented about how she looked like a rat chewing her food with her front teeth. She responded back with the water and said it was part of Songkran to throw water at each other. I'm just glad Sang didn't retaliate because we probably would have been kicked out of the restaurant. On the way back home, I let Fang ride on the motorcycle with me. I gave her my helmet. She didn't try to get us killed which I was thankful for. Feung wanted to stop by the orphanage to check on the kids first before going home. Sang and Juang went to the house before me. Fang went to help P'Sinjai clean up the kitchen. When Feung stepped out of the kids room, I pulled her into the dark hallway. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight.
K: I miss you.”
Fe: I was with you all day”
K: I didn't get to hug you though.”
Fe: Fang and P'Sinjai is going to come by any minute now.”
K: Did you miss me too?”
She squirms and tries to get away. I kiss her softly on both her cheeks.
K: Can you tell me if you miss me or not? I just want to know.”
She looks at me and nods her head. I look in her eyes and then my gaze shifts to her lips. I give her a quick peck on the lips before I let her go. It was great timing because Fang walks in as soon as we part.
Fa: What are you still doing here?”
K: I was going to see how you were doing. If the medicine helped any.”
Fa: I'll live. Don't think because you helped me today, I will see you as my hero. You are not...Ngoo. Now please scurry away. P'Feung and I are heading home.”
K: Why do you use the word scurry? It makes me feel like a dog or something. Well, just follow the instructions on the medicine box. Feung, let me know if you need me to help take anything to the temple tomorrow okay?“
I head to the house and can already hear Sang and Juang arguing.
Ju: P'Khap! There is only one bedroom. Where are we all going to sleep?”
“S: I told her that you and I will take the room and she can sleep outside. We're good-looking guys so we have to be protected from all the women around here. Juang on the other hand....”
Ju: P'Sang!”
K: Be quiet before you wake up the neighbors. Juang, you are sleeping in the room. Sang and I will sleep outside.”
S: I was kidding Juang. I already set up the net and everything for you in there while you went to shower.”
I looked in the room and he sure did set everything up for her. He even used all of our blankets for her, leaving us with none. Good thing it feels good outside today. As I am trying to sleep, I think of the events of today. It was a really good day. This is the happiest I ever felt. I felt warmth and love. I had my sister and my best friend. I had Mae Feung. Even Fang, with her razor tongue was starting to grow on me. Then, I remembered the Thap incident and my happiness starts to fade. I'm going to have to ask Feung about that. I hope it's nothing. I won't share Mae Feung's heart with any other guy. Fang and the kids are okay but no one else. I want to be the only guy in her heart.
TBC
 
 
 
 
 

Kim123

sarNie Adult
OMG YAY!!!! I can't wait to read it, sadly not today but i will one day when im free. Im so excited to read about Juang and Sang!
 

jjinxx

Is your "nom" Fai-approved?
So cute! I love how you made use of Khap's way of calling her Mae Feung. Sag and Juang are too freaking funny, he is so mean to her lol but they care about each other very much. Gotta love the bromance!
Fang is fierce as ever!
 

OHOaddict

The Dahlia Goddess
Wow!!! all the actors' faces are glued to the characters. I love it!!! Keep it coming. I'll be your number 1 fan! Su su na ka! :)
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
Thanks for all the support you guys! Everyone is so nice and supportive here! This is my first fanfic so forgive me if the story has any holes or just feel disconnected. I hope to have some more content today. Gotta bring in some drama!
 

Kim123

sarNie Adult
I can't wait to read the next part. This is really good. I will always support you, this may be your first but it feels like you been writing many fanfics before. I appriciate your work. Thank you so much!! :thanks:
 

p.smilez

sarNie OldFart
^ I completely agree with Kim. Ahhhh

I read this during my break and I couldn't stop giggling because of Fang !! Gahaha made myself look like a crazy loling at my screen lol
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
Updated! Do you guys prefer I just append to the story in my original post or would you rather i create a new post for the new content? Let me know. I just want it to be easier to follow. BangRajun!!
 
**NVM..it doesn't allow me to append anymore..Too longer maybe? Well, I just added the content in a new post.
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Feung -
 We take the kids to the temple for Songkran to partake in all the festivities. Fang, Juang, P'Sinjai, the younger girls and I woke up early this morning to cook a plethora of food to take to the temple. All the guys helped take everything to the temple and set up. Juang was definitely a City girl but she didn't act spoiled or conceited. She tried to fit in and act like one of us. She and Fang got along well which made me happy because Fang had more enemies than friends in the village because of her sharp tongue. They were the same age so they had things in common to talk about. After we were done cooking, we rounded the kids and dressed them in the cloths that Khun Sabai gave us. The kids were overly excited for having nice clothes to wear. The kids were also excited to build the sand pagodas. As we were walking to the temple, I explained to them the meaning of Songkran and why we celebrate it. I told them that they are the future of Thailand and it is important that they don't forget our tradition and culture. No matter where they end up in this world, they are still Thai. The kids took off when we got to the temple. I went to stand in line to put food in the alms bowl. I felt a presence stop beside and turned to find Khun Khap standing next to me.
  K: Feung, can I give alms with you.”
  Fe: Why do you have to ask me?”
  K: Do you want me to give alms with another woman then?”
 I blush. I don't say anything else but continue down the line putting my boiled rice in the alms bowl. I placed the fruits in the covers of the alms bowl. Khun Khap matches my every action. I am basking in the comfort in having him next to me. I can tell he feels the same way too. Once we were done, we went to listen to the monks' sermons and receive blessings. When I stood up to go check on the kids and look for Fang, Khun Khap grabs my arms and leads me to the praying shrine with the Buddha statue. This was a popular shrine for couples to declare their everlasting love to one another.
  Fe: Khun Khap, what are we doing.”
  K: Just come with me? Please.”
 We sit down in front of the Buddha statue. I look around hoping Fang won't see this and make a scene. Khun Khap lifts his hand in the wai position. I do the same.
  K: I want to thank you for helping me find my soul mate. I thank you for helping me find my purpose in life. Before, I was just a lost soul wandering around without a purpose. Now, my life has purpose. I feel alive. With all the merits I have done in my past lifetime and this lifetime, I pray to be be a couple with Mae Feung in all my lifetimes. I pray for her to be my soul mate in all my lifetimes. I don't want to ever part from her.”
 His words touch my soul. I feel like we've been here before, done this before, together. That is why we are here again together. Maybe we asked to be together in our past lifetimes. I look at his face and see the tears pooling in his eyes. I can feel the tears falling down my own face. I turn to the Buddha statue and silently wish to meet Khun Khap in every lifetime and be the recipient of his love. I can't deny it anymore. I am falling in love with Khun Khap. It's a good and happy feeling. I also pray to have these feelings with him in every lifetime. I promise to be true in my love to him and love only him.
  K: Feung, what did you pray for?”
 I smile at him.
  Fe: That's for me to know. Let's go find everybody.”
 We find everyone near the center of the Wat. Fang and Juang were going against Khun Sang in a water fight. Most, if not all of the kids had water guns. I wonder how they got the money to buy them. I see Fang with a smile on her face. The children are also all smiling. Is this what happiness is? Before I have time to ponder this anymore, I feel water being splashed on me. Next thing I know, I am soaked from head to toe. I look for my attacker. It was none other than Khun Khap. Parob hands me his water gun and motions for me spray Khun Khap. I do and I don't stop until he is just as soaked as me. I hear my own laugh. This is unlike me. I never do things like this. I never laugh this loud. I turn my water gun to Fang who is surprised at this stranger in front of her. It takes her five seconds to rebound and start spraying me with water. I love this feeling. I hope it lasts forever.
 
Fang -
 I have never seen P'Feung like this before. Smiling, laughing, or just enjoying herself. Everything she has done has always been for me or the orphanage. She never had the time to enjoy herself. As much as I hate to admit it, it was Dimples who did this. I have to keep my guard up though because he also has the power to ruin my sister. I actually enjoy being around Bug Eyes, I mean Juang. She is the same age as I am and studies Hotel Management/Tourism in Bangkok. I wanted to study that also but the program was too expensive. I registered for the cheapest program  the University of SingBuri had. After the first two days of classes, I thought it was a waste of money and dropped out. P'Feung doesn't know it yet but I keep the money she gives me for school in a bank so that I can give it back to her when she is ready to buy the orphanage. I work as a dishwasher in several restaurants instead of going to school. When I have free time, I do deliveries for the restaurant also. We need money and I wasn’t going to be making any sitting inside a classroom. Juang and Lips are leaving tomorrow on the last day of Songkran. I exchanged numbers with Juang and promised to keep in touch. I am not sure how likely that is when she gets to Bangkok and see all her Bangkok friends again. I will never ever admit this but I'll miss Lips too. He gives my sharp tongue a run for it's money. He is as good as giving it back as he is taking it. He also bought all the kids water guns which shows he does have some kindness and decency. Juang said that was a first because he is the most stingy person she has ever known. Too bad Songkran isn't year round.
 
Sang -
 I can see why Khap likes this place. It's peaceful. It feels like home even to me. Then again, home is anywhere Juang is. I'll follow her anywhere. I look at my best friend's face. He was a look of content. I seldom see that look on him.
  S: Ah Khap. That looks good on you.”
  K: What? These clothes? Juang picked them out for me.”
  S: Haha. No, man. Happiness.”
  K: You too man. “
 We both smile.
  S: So are you ever going back to Bangkok.”
  K: I'll be there in a week or so. I have to go tie up some loose ends.”
  S: Roong?”
  K: Yea. I have to go take care of that. I prolonged it long enough. Feung deserves better. I need to tell Feung about it too.”
  S: Are you sure that's wise? I don't think any woman would take kindly finding out the guy that is wooing here is actually engaged.”
  K: I'm not going to lie to her. I have to tell her. We'll persevere.”
  S: You know I have your back right?”
  K: Same here. When are you guys leaving tomorrow?”
  S: We'll probably catch the morning sermons and then leave.”
 Khap is now focused on Feung. She's a beautiful girl but in my eyes Juang is most beautiful. I look at my Juang. She is smiling as wide as ever. I would do anything to see her smile like that everyday.
 
Juang -
 It's endearing to watch my brother with P'Feung. You can feel the love radiate off of them. I notice my brother would find a way to touch her or be near her. Little brushes here and there. He thinks no one notices but I do. I'm happy that P'Khap has found his happiness. P'Feung is the perfect woman. She is beautiful, kind, and well mannered. My brother's face lights up every time she looks at him. I hear my brother laugh at something P'Sang says. It was a full bellied laugh. I go and give my brother a hug.
  K: What's going on Juang?”
  Ju: I just want to let you know that I love you.”
  K: Haha, well, I love you too Juang.”
  S: Hey, do I get a hug too?”
  K/Ju: No/No.”
  S: Way to make a guy feel appreciated.”
 I grab a water gun from one of the kids and start spraying him. He tries and run away from me. I grab some powder from another kid and start throwing it at him. P'Sang is now white from head to toe. P'Sang then does something I didn't expect. He hugs me.
  Ju: P'Sang! P'Khap is going to see us and kill us. Let me go!”
  S: You got powder on me and now I am getting powder on you! How do you like that?”
 I fight against him until he releases me. He is doing it to be playful but I can feel my face getting red. My face always betrays me! Whenever he touches me, I always crave for more. I know it will never happen because he only sees me as a little sister. He likes older and more mature girls. I'll just keep my feelings to myself.
 
CHAPTER TWELVE
Khap -
 It's the last day of Songkran and we go to the temple to listen to the sermons. Songkran was coming to a close and it was time for Sang and Juang to go back to Bangkok. They said goodbye to the kids, P'Sinjai and her husband earlier. Now it's just Feung, Fang, Sang, Juang and myself. Juang has been hugging me and crying for the last five minutes.
  K: Juang, don't be like this. You will see me again soon. Stop crying. The little kids are looking at you. Aren't you embarrassed?”
  Ju: I just miss my brother. What's wrong with that?”
  S: You still have me.”
 Juang cries even harder. Sang just shrugs at me.
  K: Ok. ok. That's enough. Get in the car and head on out. Call me when you get to Bangkok. “
 Juang nods at me. Feung gives Juang a basket with some snacks and drinks for the road. Juang gives her a hug and turns to give Fang a hug. I don't think Fang expected that. She stiffened up and gently pat Juang on the shoulder. I turn to Sang and place a hand on his shoulder.
  K: Drive safe man. Take care of my sister.”
  S: Always. Take care of yourself too.”
 Sang pulls me into a man hug. I typically don't do man hugs but I've always made an exception for Sang. I make a lot of exceptions for Sang. They get in the car and drive off. I turn to see Fang looking a little sad.
  K: What's wrong Fang? Sad to see them go?”
  Fa: No. Remember, I don't even like people from Bangkok. Why would I miss them.”
 At that she turns on her heels and walk back inside the orphanage. I look around to make sure no one is around before I pull Feung close to me.
  K: I'm sad that my sister and best friend are gone. Can you give me a hug to make me feel better?”
 She pushes me away with a smile before walking back inside. One day she is going to be a willing participant in the hugs and kisses. Several weeks have passed since Sang and Juang were here. Feung and I fall back into our normal routine. Parob no longer tries and to do bodily harm when he sees me. He comes out to the soccer field with me sometimes when I am out there with the other kids. He's smaller than the other boys so I spend a more time working with him that he others. I will say that the kid is a natural at it. I remember his face when he made his first score. I earned my first high five that day. Instead of following Feung around he now shadows me. He watches me while I work in the field or work on my bike. I know longer feel guilty or ashamed when I look at Parob. I still wonder how his life would have turned out if his parents were still alive. Would they have changed their ways and raise him well or would they continue on their pathway to hell and take their son with them? I guess we will never know. All I know is that I will give this little boy whatever he needs and help him grow into a good person. Saturday is approaching fast. I plan to tell Feung about Roong while we wash clothes. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.
 
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Feung -
 It's washing day. I have piles and piles of clothes to wash today. Not only do I do father's, Fang's and my clothes but I also have Khun Khap's and the kids clothes to wash. Khun Khap is sitting with me as he normally does.
  K: Feung, I need to tell you something.”
 I did not expect the what came out of his mouth next.
  K: I'm engaged.”
 It feels like a dagger through my heart. I feel the tears already falling down my face. Is this what love does to you. I get up quickly to run away. He grabs me from behind not allowing me to get away. He belongs to another woman. I move to try and get away. His hold is tight. I can't move.
  K: Let me explain Feung. Our parents made us get engaged. We don't love each other. It's more of a business deal than anything. We barely interact with one another. We are practically strangers. I came here to get away from her and the life that my dad was forcing on me. Please forgive me. Once I started to fall for you, I made my mind up that I was going to end it with Roong. I know I should have done it before I pursued you but I didn’t want to loose my chance with you or waste any time.”
  Fe: It doesn’t matter. Doing what you did, you just branded me as a woman who stole another woman's fiance. Regardless of whether you love her or not, you were still engaged to her. I don't want to see you again.”
 I push him away and ran back to the orphanage. I lock myself in one of the rooms. This is what it feels like to get your heart broken. I've felt the good parts of love; this is the bad.
 
 Khap -
 I don't follow her. She's right. I should have broken it off with Roong before I did anything with her. I hate myself for hurting her. I promised myself and Fang that I would never hurt Feung. My promises are now shit. I need to fix this. She is going to have to misunderstand me for a little longer. I am going to Bangkok to end things with Roong and then I will come back and fix things. I promise Feung. I will make everything right again. I arrive at Bangkok in less than two hours. I call Juang before I left to meet me at Roong's house. When I get there, Juang is talking to Roong. I waste no time in doing what I came here to do.
K: Roong, we need to end this engagement.”
R: P'Khap. Don't be silly. We look good together. I know our marriage is not based on love. I am okay with that. I don't love you anymore than you love me. I thought we understood that. I'm okay with you having a little wife on the side if that is what you want. We just have to keep up the front that we are in a happy marriage when we are in public.”
K: No, I will only have one wife in this lifetime. I want to make it clear today that you and I are over. Keep the ring and sell it if you want. You can also tell everybody that you were the one to break it off. Go and find someone who loves you like you deserve to be loved Roong. I'm sorry for letting this go on for so long. I should never have agreed to this in the first place. I hope you can forgive me.”
That was the easy part. I now have to tell me father. Juang follows me in her car. We arrive at the house and Juang hugs me before we go in.
Ju: Be strong P'Khap.”
My father is sitting on the coach reading the newspaper.
K: Por, I need to talk to you.”
P: Khap, you are back. Did you find the peace you were looking for?”
K: I broke off my engagement with Roong.”
P: What did you do?”
Ju: Por, P'Khap was not happy.”
  P: Stay out of this Juang. Let me talk to your brother. You must marry Roong, Khap. It is what you mother wanted. Can't you do something right for once in your life. Why are you such a disappointment?!”
K: I did do the right thing. It was not right for me to go into a loveless marriage with Roong. She deserves better. I deserve better. I met my soul mate, Por. I love her and I can't live without her.”
P: You go away for three, four months and you come back thinking you found your soul mate, saying that you are in love? You know nothing about love. You will marry Roong or else.”
K: Do you not care if I am happy or not?”
P: Happy? Why should you get to be happy when you took away my happiness? YOU took away my soul mate so why should I let you be with yours?”
K: Because you are my father and I'm your son! You are supposed to want me to be happy!”
P: I never wanted kids! Your mother wanted kids and I obliged to make her happy. I raised you for the last twenty plus years to fulfill a promise I made to my wife. I only wanted it to be just my wife and me. Do not talk to me about happiness and love Ah Khap!.”
Ju: Por! Why are you saying these things?! We're your kids!”
P: Khap, you will marry Roong or else I will cut you off. You will get nothing from me. You will get nothing from my will.”
K: Thanks for putting everything in perspective for me Por. You got your wish. You no longer have a son. I don't need your money. I'm able bodied and have the means to build my wealth myself. I have a woman that I love and that gives me a purpose in life. I thank you for giving me life.”
I get on my knees and wai my father for one last time. I walk out of the house. Juang cries after me.
Ju: P'Khap, father didn't mean it. Please don't leave. P'Khap!”
K: You heard him Juang. He never wanted us. Stay here for now. I can't support you right now. I don't even know how I am going to support myself. I'll come back for you and get you out of here. Study hard and finish school. Do you hear me?”
Ju: P'Khap...”
K: I'll keep in touch Juang. I'm spending the night at Ai Sang's place tonight and will head back to Khai BangRajun in the morning.”
I drive to the orphanage first thing in the morning. I see a car parked in the lot. I wonder who might that be. As I walk closer to the building, what I see in through the windows stops me dead in my tracks. I see Thap holding Feung's hands in his. Jealousy rips through my body. Murderous rage courses through my blood. So Feung was the girl that Thap was talking about. I turn to walk away, not being able to watch any longer. I run into another guy I haven't seen before.
K: Who are you?”
  J: I'm Feung's fiance, Jai. Who are you?”
I laugh. This is rich. She played me. She played me good. She made the hurt look so real when I told her about Roong.
K: I'm the guy kissing your fiance behind your back.”
I walk away. I let the tears flow, no longer able to keep them in.

 
Feung -
“T: Thank you so much for giving me a chance with Fang. Thank you for agreeing to help me with her. You don't know how much I appreciate this.”
Khun Thap takes my hands in his. I'm shocked by this action and it takes me a while to recover. It felt foreign and off. I laugh at how excited he is. I remove my hands from his.
Fe: Khun Thap, please don't do that again. People might misunderstand us.”
T: I'm sorry. I was just too excited. I haven't been able to make any headway with Fang. You agreeing to help me gives me hope. I'll leave you alone now. Here are the donations from the hotels. Thank you again.”
Khun Thap leaves. The smile on my face disappears. My thoughts drift to Khun Khap. He had hurt me in a way that no one has ever hurt me before. It felt like someone took a knife and plunged it into my heart over and over again. Fang saw my sadness and concluded it was Khun Khap. She swore up and down that she would make him pay and never forgive him. Parob was able to sense the change in my mood also and attributed it to Khun Khap. He popped all of the soccer balls and cut all the soccer nets. I hadn't seen him since he made the confession. He had tried to explain himself before he left but I was just too blinded by hurt and sadness to hear anything else. I had given him my heart and so much more. Tears stream down my face and I wipe them away as quick as I can.
J: Feung, Why are you crying.”
Fe: P'Jai, when did you get back?”
J: I just got back today. Tell me who hurt you and I will take care of them.”
  Fe: It's nothing P'Jai. I just want to be alone. I am going to take a walk by the lake. Please don't follow me. Can you stay and watch the kids for a bit until P'Sinjai gets back?”
I take off before he has a chance to respond. I go and sit down at the dock. I miss having him near me. I miss his touch. Can I ever get past this hurt? Is this me failing at love? My heart hurts thinking of this. My heart is full of love for Khun Khap. In a short period of time, he was able to force himself into my heart to where I am now irrevocably in love with him. He owns my mind, body and soul. I don't think I have the capacity to love anyone else in this lifetime. I hear footsteps. I turn to see the man who is invading my thoughts. Only, he looks like the man who first came to Khai BangRajun four months ago. His eyes are not only sad this time though. They are mixed with anger. I am surprised when he starts clapping.
K: Well played Khun Feung.”
I don't like how he says my name. It sounds distant and void of affection.
K: You, with the angel face and crooked heart. You take offense to being labeled as a woman who steals another woman's fiance but you have no problem being a woman with many hearts!”
He grabs me by the shoulder and picks me up from my sitting position. His eyes and words are full of menace. I don't know what I did wrong. He was the one who wronged me. His words anger me. I shake out of his hold and slap him. I've never slapped anyone before. It felt foreign to me. My hand burns. Khun Khap shakes his head and grabs me again. He kisses me violently and I slap him again.
Fe: Khun Khap! What is wrong with you?!”
K: You're what's wrong with me! You don't like my kisses anymore? You have a better pair of lips to kiss now? Ah Thap? Ah Jai? Or do you just circulate amongst the three of us.”
He grabs me again to kiss me. I fight back slapping him, pushing him. He throws me on to the ground and kneels in front of me.
K: I would have given you the world. I gave you my heart and you crushed it with your bare hands. You brought me to life only to kill me. Why? Why?!”
I see the light go out in his eyes. I don't know what he is talking about. There must be a misunderstanding with Khun Thap and P'Jai. He is the only one I let in. In fact, I let him in too much and now he has the power to hurt me. He has hurt me. All those promises he made of never hurting me have been broken. His accusations of me being a woman of many hearts cuts through me like a knife. Doesn't he know that I already gave him my heart. He still has my heart even after everything that has happened. I still feel our hearts are tied together. There is an invisible thread that ties one to the other. We stare at each other for a long time. I am the one to first break away my gaze.
Fe: If that is what kind of woman you think I am, so be it.”
I walk away, my heart a prisoner of his. My heart is still with him. I'm just a shell of a woman as I walk away.
 
Khap –
I'm hurt. I'm angry. It takes all my willpower not to grovel after her to beg for forgiveness. I love her still. I love her very much. But it hurts to see her with those guys. I mean it when I said I will not share her heart. I feel like I am suffocating right now. I feel like someone poured gas down my throat and lit it on fire. My whole body is burning in rage. Tears are falling. I'm a weak weak man. She has the power to make me cry. I need to get away from here. I get on my bike, leaving everything behind again. The engine roars to life. I accelerate. I am feeling destructive.
 

Vimalee

Live Love Laugh
Create a new post please and thank you for writing BR FF. Really appreciate your time and efforts.
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Fang -
P'Feung thinks I don't hear her crying herself to sleep every night. I know it has to do with that Ai Wen Khap. Yes, I have no respect for him anymore. I regret for letting my guard down with him and thinking he was good for my sister. It hurts to see my sister go through these past few weeks like a ghost. Just floating through life void of emotions. The only time I see her smile now is when she is with the kids. Even then, the smiles are far and few in between. I need to know where he is so I can make him pay. I'll call Juang. She and I did keep in touch but we never bring up her brother. I can separate the two. My hating Ai Wen Khap has no bearing on my friendship with Juang. I don't have many friends and I would like to keep this one. I dial Juang's phone number.
Fa: Juang. I'm sorry but I have to ask you this. Do you know where your brother is at?”
Ju: If I knew I would tell you Fang. I want to go find him too but for different reasons than you. I don't want to make excuses for him because I know how you feel about him.”
Fa: Do you know who might know his whereabouts?”
Ju: I know P'Sang knows. He keeps telling me not to worry and that my brother is fine. I have to take comfort in that because he won't give me any more information.”
Fa: Can I have his number? Khun Sang's?”
She hesitates a bit but gives it to me anyways.
Ju: If you find out where he is, can you let me know?''
Fa: I will.”
I hang up with Juang and call Sang. He picks up on the fourth ring.
Fa: Ai Sang. Tell me where Ai Khap is right now.”
S: Is this the rabid dog from Khai BangRajun. Spew your poison somewhere else. I'm hanging up.”
Fa: Wait, wait! I need to know where he is. My sister cries herself to sleep every night. She doesn't eat well and it is all because of your friend. He needs come fix this. I have done everything I can and the result is still the same. Only he can fix this.”
S: Fang, do you think he is not hurting too? To find out the girl that he loves not only have a fiance but also another lover? With Roong, he never loved her. He was never with her. They were only engaged in name. What Feung did is a far worse betrayal.”
Fa: Ai Baa! How dare you talk about my sister like that. I have half a mind to go over to Bangkok right now and kick your ass. My sister does not have a fiance nor does she have a lover! Stop trying to drag my sister's name through the mud Ai Heah!”
S: Ee Baa. I've never heard a woman speak like you. No one is going to want to marry you with a mouth like that! If your sister is so innocent, tell me why Ai Jai said he was your sister's fiance. Why did Ai Khap see Ai Thap holding your sisters hand? Answer me that!”
Fa: I don't know why I called you for help. You useless pig!”
I can feel my blood pressure going up. I hate that man! And P'Jai! I need to get to the bottom of this. I walk to P'Jai's house. Good he is there.
Fa: P'Jai! Why did you say you were P'Feung's fiance!?”
J: What are you talking about Fang?”
Fa: Did you tell anyone that you were P'Feung's fiance or not? Answer the question.”
J: I did. There was this guy who came around the orphanage. He didn't look trustworthy so I told him I was Feung's fiance so he won't bother her. I only wanted to help.”
Fa: Ai ngo. You didn't help! You made matters worst!”
  J: Fang, Fang, wait what are you talking about?!”
Fa: Stay away from my sister P'Jai!”
I run back to my house. P'Feung is getting dinner ready for father. He doesn't ever show up so I don't know why she bothers.
Fa: P'Feung! What happened with Khun Thap? Why was he holding your hands?”
Fe: Who told you that?”
Fa: Just answer the question P'Feung? Do you love Khun Thap?”
Fe: What? No! I gave him some good news and he just got too excited and he wasn't able to contain his excitement and grabbed my hands. He only held it for five seconds. Who told you and why does it matter. There is nothing going on with me and Khun Thap and there will never be. I don't see him as anything other than a friend who has been kind to help us with the orphanage.”
Fa: What about Ai Khap?”
  Fe: Fang, don't call him that. And about him, we are nothing to each other anymore.”
Fa: You didn't answer my question P'Feung. Do you love him or not?”
 My sister's actions speak louder than words. Her tears began to fall and I can see her heart break on the inside. I hug my sister and try to stay strong for her. I feel the tears fall down my cheeks also. I hate it when my sister is sad. If love makes you sad, why do you want to love? I leave my sister to call Sang again. I take a deep breath before I dial the number.
Fa: Khun Sang ka..”
  S: Who is this?”
  Fa: This is Fang, ja.”
S: This is weird. Stop talking like that. Did you take the wrong medication or something?'
  Fa: Ai baa. I was trying to be nice.”
  S: That's more like it. What do you want you loose cannon?”
  Fa: I found the answers that I needed. I need to know where Ai...I mean Khun Khap is. I know how to fix this.”
S: No, he asked me not to tell anyone. Plus, how do I know that you are not going to make him sadder. Khap is in a very fragile state now. There is no knowing what he might do to himself?”
  Fa: Is he suicidal?”
S: He was close to it. Until he met your sister. She changed his life. Then she pulled the rug out from under him. The rest..you know..”
Fa: I'll tell you the truth later. Right now I need to find Khun Khap so I can fix this. I don't want to see my sister sad any more than you want to see your best friend sad. Do you want to see your friend live out the rest of his days in a pit of despair? If you can help him find happiness, why won't you do it? I am willing to put my anger and differences aside so my sister can be happy. Can we call a truce?”
S: I wouldn’t trust you as far as I can throw you. How do I know you won't turn around and bite me?”
Fa: You have no choice. I am your only option to helping your friend find his happiness.”
I hear him sigh.
S: Fine. He is in Phuket. He is working at the Elite Fight Club there. I'll text you the address.”
Fa: Phuket?! That's almost twelve hours from here? How am I going to get there? Can you take me there?”
S: You are on your own from here. If Khap sees me there, he will beat my face in. He won't hit you since you're a girl. Let me know how it goes.”
 
He hangs up the phone. How am I supposed to get the Phuket? I think of my options. I only know of one person who has the means and time to get me there. He would be willing to take me there without monetary compensation. Considering this is partially his fault that should be his payment. However, I have to deal with him for the drive there, the time there, and the drive back. I love my sister. I love my sister. I am about to make the biggest sacrifice for my sister. Spend time with a guy that I loathe.

 
Thap -
I was checking the reservation system when I received the shock of my life. Fang Kannarun is standing right in front of me in the flesh.
T: Fang. What a pleasant surprise to see you here. What can I help you with?”
I give her a wide smile. I hope its not too wide and looks genuine. My mother says I have very nice teeth so I should capitalize on that..
Fa: I need your help.”
T: Of course, anything.”
  Fa: I need you to take me to Phuket and pay for all the expenses. You will get a separate room for me the duration we are there. Again, all paid for by you.”
T: Um, Phuket is quite a ways away from here. May I ask why you need to go to Phuket?”
Fa: No, you cannot ask why. All you need to know this is your penance for the problems that you have caused. Also, during this trip, I ask questions you answer. You are not allowed to ask me anything.”
T: Does your sister know about this? You feel comfortable traveling with me alone?”
Fa: We are going to go to the temple before we leave. You will swear on your life that you will not disrespect me or touch me. You will bring me back home all in one peace. Is that clear? If you don't do that the deal is off.”
T: No, I don't have a problem with doing that. I'll do everything you say. Please.”
Fa: Very good. Meet me at the temple down the road from here so we can swear your life away. We leave from there first thing tomorrow morning. Oh and you are responsible for food also.”
She leaves after that. I'm confused. Am I doing her a favor or is she doing me a favor? It doesn't matter. As long as I get to spend time with her. I call my sister Sabai to ask her to cover at the hotel for me.
T: P'Sabai. I need you to help cover the hotel at SingBuri for me. Starting tomorrow.”
Sa: Thap. I can't do that on such short notice. I have a business to run. Plus, P'Jerd's birthday is tomorrow.”
T: P'Sabai, I really need this favor. It's a life or death situation. P'Jerd will understand.”
Sa: What is going on Thap.”
T: I'll have to tell you later. Can you do this for me please?”
Sa: I'll move my schedule around.”
  T: You're my favorite sister.”
Sa: Thap, I am your only sister. You will have to tell me what is going on though.”
T: I will......”
soon as I find out what is going on.

 
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Fang -
I probably should tell someone what I am doing before I start this journey with Khun Thap. I know nothing about this man. The whole nice guy thing could be a facade. I hate the first person that pops in my mind.
Fa: Khun Sang.”
  S: The number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please do not call again.”
  Fa: Khun Sang! I have something important to tell you!”
S: You better have a good reason for calling me at 4am in the morning. My shift starts in two hours and I need my beauty sleep.”
Fa: I just wanted to tell you that I found a ride to Phuket. If you don't hear from me every twelve hours, call the cops and tell them I was with a man named Thap Pongsakorn.”
S: What do you mean you are going to Phuket? Why are you with Ai Thap? Fang, don't do anything stupid. Go home right now.”
  Fa: We're on the way to Phuket right now. I'll call you in twelve hours.
 
Sang -
Fuck my life. What have I done? I call into work.
S: Sgt. I need to take the next four days off. I have a family emergency to tend to. Thank you for understanding sir.”
I pick up the phone to call Juang.
S: Juang, call the university and tell them you have a family emergency and will need to take the next four days off. We are going to Phuket. Fang is going to look for your brother and she is going with someone she doesn't even know well. Pack light.”

 
Juang-
OMG. Fang is crazy. She is bat shit crazy. Who jumps in the car with a stranger? I call the university and explain the situation. I pack just enough to get us through a week. Last time I went on a trip with P'Khap and P'Sang, P'Sang got mad that I packed too much and didn't even load all my suitcases in the car. On a happy note, I get to see my brother!

 
Feung -
Fang didn't even take the food I packed for her for her school trip. She didn't say bye before she left. I'm going to miss having her around for the next few days. This is a good thing for her though. She will get to hang around people her age and have fun.
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Khap -
Left jab, right kick. Right jab, left kick. That's my life now. I just drove my bike south when I left Khai BangRajun. I ended up at the Elite Muay Thai Fight Club. It has a restaurant front but the real action takes place underground. I didn't have any money on me and was out of gas. I asked the owner of the restaurant if he needed an extra hand. I was willing to work for food. I worked as the busboy for a while until some goons came in trying to cause problems. I took two of them out myself. They were able to get some good hits in but that was it. I've been training since I was little so I know how good my skills are. My skills obviously got the attention of the owner of the restaurant. P'Got is his name. He asked if I was interested in fighting. I told him I was. He said he got a job for me that would pay 100 times more than what I was making now. He wanted me to train and be one of his fighters. The Elite Fight Club is a popular place for farangs to come and try out their fighting skills. There were some fights where I went all out and there were some fights that I was asked to throw. Some farangs wanted to truly test their skills and get offended when you go easy on them. Some just wants to win and feel good beating the shit out of someone. It doesn't bother me either way as long as I get hit. The pain is what brings me satisfaction. The worse the pain, the better. If I focus in the external pain, I don't think too much about the pain in my heart. I've got two fights lined up for tonight. P'Got hasn't given me directions on either one yet.
G: Khap, you ready for tonight? Fight starts at 8pm. You have an hour left.”
K: I'm good to go P'Got. You want some winners or losers in your ring tonight?”
G: These guys want to win. So let them win. Do me a favor though man. Do a better job of protecting yourself. I know I am asking you to throw the fight. I am not asking you to get yourself killed though. Block some of the severe hits. I don't want you to get hurt like last time. You were knocked out cold. You could have avoided taking that hit.”
K: It was my off night P', I didn't see that punch coming.”
G: I'm talking to you as your friend Khap. Not your boss. You're a good guy. I know when I see someone who's hit rock bottom. I've been there before brother. Just remember that once you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. I'll let you practice.”
I lied. I did see that hit coming. It could have been a fatal hit if he had hit me just a bit harder. I was knocked out cold and had a concussion for a while. It was a bad day for me. I was thinking about her all day and I saw a commercial for Pongsakorn's Hotel on television. That was a trigger for me. There are a lot of things that are triggers for me. One just walked right into the club.
 
Fang-
Maybe I was too optimistic about this trip. He is more annoying that I thought he was. I almost prefer Sang over him. Almost. He reaches to turn on the radio.
Fa: Leave the radio off.”
He opens his mouth to say something.
Fa: No talking please.”
I gave him the rules before he left. They were simple instructions. I'm not asking for much. I close my eyes. I need to conserve my energy for when I get to Phuket. We should be there by 7pm or so. Why can't we be there already.
 
Thap-
She's very bossy. Which is fine with me since I'm a very docile person. I never gave my parents any trouble growing up. In turn, they were always loving towards me and I've never had to want for anything. My stomach growls. It's time to stop and eat. We are close to Kiri Khan now so we are about halfway there. I stop at a little restaurant off the side of the road.
Fa: Why did we stop?”
T: I'm hungry, khap. Are you not hungry?”
I hear her stomach growl also. I smile.
  Fa: It's always something with you isn't it.”
We went in the restaurant and sat down.
T: What would you like to eat?”
She ignores me and rattles her order off to the waiter. I hear her say to make the dish as spicy as possible.
T: Do you like spicy food? You should be careful with spicy food. It can give you ulcers. My sister likes spicy food also. As she got older, she started having issues with her stomach, mainly..”
Fa: Stop. Write an autobiography. If I want to get to know you, I'll buy it.”
I laugh to myself. I like her sass. One day Fang, I'm going to make you love me.
 
Sang-
S: Juang, why are you so slow? We were supposed to leave two hours ago!”
Ju: I have to get some of my assignments from the university. I have finals coming up in a couple of weeks. I have to pass them!”
Now I feel bad for asking her to come with me. School is important to her.
S: You should have just told me. I wouldn't have ask you to come.”
Ju: I wouldn't let you go alone. I want to see P'Khap also.”
If we leave now, we should be there by 8pm.
S: We are not stopping so pack some food for the road.”

 
Juang-
I feel bad for taking so long but I really need those assignments to study. I had to wait till 8:30am to get them. P'Sang is nervous and it makes me nervous. When I was packing up my stuff, my father didn't even care to ask where I was going. I guess he really didn't want any kids. Only a year and half more and I will be done with school. I will be home free. I pack some leftover food from dinner last night. I didn't want to spend the time to cook anything. P'Sang came by and picked me up around 9am and we were on the road. About two hours into the trip, P'Sang said he was hungry.
S: Juang, do me a favor and feed me.”
Ju: You have hands P'Sang, feed yourself.”
S: I have to concentrate on the road. I have to keep an eye out to see if I recognize Fang in any of the cars we pass by. I can't do all that if I am trying to eat while driving.”
He does have a point. I begrudgingly start feeding him. I feel a smile forming on my lips. I can see the smirk on his face also. I feel annoyed and happy at the same time. At least we are not arguing.

 
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Khap-
I see Thap step into the gym with Fang next to him. Is Feung with them? I don't care anymore. I am walking towards him. When I am face to face with him, I clock him right in the face. It catches him by surprise and he loses his balance I bit. I glance at Fang and she is backed against a wall. I focus back on Thap. I wait for him to regain his balance before I hit him again. I punch him. I kick him. He has his hand up trying to protect himself. Does he not know how to fight? My anger is getting the best of me. I bring a rain of punches on him. I hear the door open but I am focused on Ai Thap. I feel a set of arms grab me from behind trying to stop me. I throw my head back and feel it connect with something. I turn around to see the face of my best friend. Ai Sang. I see my sister standing next to Fang holding hands. He brought my sister here? I see my name leave my sister's lip. I turn to Sang again. His lips are bleeding from the impact of my head.
K: You brought Juang here? I thought I told you to keep this to yourself.”
S: Khap..”
Before he gets out another sentence, I knock him on his ass. Sang gets up and returns the favor. I have to reorient myself. I forgot this was Sang I was dealing with. He doesn't back down.
S: Ai Khap, you need to calm down. I'm trying to do what is best for you. Your sister is here. Don't scare her.”
K: If you didn't want to her to see this, why bring her here Ai Sang!.”
I get into my fighting stance. Round one motherfucker. He answers my punch with a punch. I'm not sure whose blood is dripping on the floor now. My ear is ringing. I think he may have connected a roundhouse there. I hear Juang crying for us to both stop. I'm too angry to stop. I see red. It may be the blood that is dripping from the cut above my eye. Sang doesn't take it easy on me and I don't back down either. I'm about to land another kick on him when someone grabs me from behind. Two against one? That's fine. Bring it on motherfuckers. I try and throw my head back hoping it would connect to his face. I didn't. He's strong. Maybe I'm just worn out with my fight with Sang. I look forward and see a fist coming at me. I didn't have time to try and avoid it. Darkness takes over.
S: Get up fucker. “
Sang. I can't open my eyes. I'm tired. Just take me already. I hear Juang crying. She's close by holding my hands.
K: Juang?..”
Ju: P'Khap are you awake? P'Sang, P'Khap is awake. Help me get him up.”
K: Don't help me. I can get up myself.”
I feel like I've been ran over by a car but I manage to sit up straight. I open my eyes and see Sang. He looks like shit. Juang's eyes are puffy. It looks like she's been crying. I look to the corner and see Fang tending to Thap's injuries. Did I do all this? I raise my hand to touch my face. Yea, he got me good too. I remembered tonight's fights. Shit!
K: What time is it?”
Ju: It's almost 11pm.”
K: Fuck. Are the fights over?! I was supposed to work a couple of fights tonight.”
Ju: Khun Got got someone to step in for you.”
I get up and sat right back down. The room was spinning.
K: I have to go apologize to him. I fucked up tonight.”
S: Yea, you did man. What is wrong with you? What are you doing here?! Had I known that this is what you were up too, I would have came and gotten you a long time ago. You need help man. Go see Dr. Pedchai again.”
K: Fuck Dr. Pedchai. He just keeps fucking with my head filling them with lies. I'm happy here. I like my job here.”
S: Is this you happy man? Really? Look at yourself in the mirror Ai Khap. You are two fights away from your death. Are you going to leave Juang behind? Are you going to leave Feung behind? And me?”
He chokes at the last words. I look away from Sang and look at Thap and my anger flares again. I get up and walk over there.
Fa: Do not come any closer. It's all a misunderstanding. There is nothing going on with Khun Thap and P'Feung. You interpreted what you saw the wrong way.”
T: What about Feung?”
Fa: He thinks you and P'Feung have something going on. He saw you hold her hands at the orphanage.”
T: Khap, there is nothing going on. I was excited that Feung gave her blessing for me to pursue Fang that I couldn't contain my excitement. There is nothing going on. I swear on my life.”
Fa: Wait, P'Feung allowed you to what?”
T:Um...”
K:What about Ai Jai?”
Fa: I don't know why P'Jai said that he was her fiance. He lives in the same village as us. Yes, he has feelings for P'Feung but she never reciprocated them. She has told him several times that she sees him only as a brother. “
I am trying to let all this sink in. My head hurts. I sit down across from Fang.
Fa: After seeing what I saw tonight, I can't let you back in my sister's life. Not only do I have to be afraid of you hurting her emotionally. I now have to worry about her physical safety.”
K: I would never hurt Feung like that.”
Fa: Khun, how do you know that? I've seen your rage tonight. How can you say you won't turn it on my sister. Khun Sang is your best friend and look what you did to him. Look at Khun Thap. He couldn't even defend himself and look at what you did to him.”
I look at Sang and Thap. I feel ashamed now. I feel regret. I misunderstood Feung. I took my anger out on my best friend and a defenseless person.
S: Khap would never lay a hand on Feung. I know that. I can swear that on my life.”
Ju: I swear on my life too. My brother will never hurt P'Feung. Please give him another chance Fang.”
I look at Sang and thank him with my eyes. I look at Juang and she comes over to hug me. This is what anger does. It causes chaos and destruction. I walk over to Fang and kneel in front of her.
K: Fang, I swear on my life that I will never hurt Feung again; emotionally or physically. I swear on my life. From this day on, I will spend the rest of my life asking for her forgiveness and give her a happy life. If I break this promise, let me die a horrible death ever single lifetime. Please give me a chance to fix this. Please.
Fa: Khun..”
K: Please Fang.”
Sang and Juang are both kneel beside me.
Ju: Please Fang. Forgive me brother and give him another chance with P'Feung.”
S: Fang.”

 
Fang-
I look at the scene in front of me. I don't know why I am crying but it touches me. I can see how pained and tortured he is. Juang and Sang are good people. For them to beg for him like this, there must be something worth giving a second chance to. Can I risk my sister's safety because I feel sorry for him? I saw what he can do tonight. To his best friend. To a defenseless stranger. Then I think about what it would do to my sister to not have him in her life. She is already a shell of a woman. I want my sister back. The happiest I have ever seen her was when she was with him. I'll have to take this chance for my sister. I hope I am making the right choice.
Fa: I can allow it under one condition. You need to get help. Go back and see your therapist.”
I can tell he wants to make an argument.
Fa: That's my condition. Take it or leave it. Also, should my sister forgive you and give you another chance. You must love her, honor her, and cherish her more than your life. She is always right and you are always wrong. You must give her everything she wants. She must be your one and only and the most important person in your life.”
K: I agree to your terms. She is already my whole life Fang. You don't have to tell me.”
Fa: Ok then.”
K: When can I go see her. “
Fa: Whenever you are ready.”
I turn to walk away from him. I pause and turn back.
Fa: And P'Khap. Quit this job before you get yourself killed.”
I walk away smiling. I'm proud of myself. I did a good thing.
 

jjinxx

Is your "nom" Fai-approved?
Omg Omg Omg this is toooooo hilarious! These characters are freaking awesome! I love Feung and Khap but I am in love with the hilarious trio Sang, Fang and Juang! lololol! Sang and Fang are so sharp! And I think Fang's nicknames for everyone are just great! Dimples, Eyes and Lips! Leave it to her to pick out their best features and use them resentfully.

Khap and Feung being por and mae for the orphanage is just so cute!
Sang and Juang have me spazzing every time! And again, hilarious the way Fang orders Thap around like it's a no brainer 5555 love this.
I'll come finish reading soon but yes, new posts are easier for me too. Your dialogues are fantastic! Thanks!
 

Nasithiya

sarNie Egg
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Khap-
Fang and I are in a good place now. She didn't even try to bite me when I patted her head. Sang and Juang still had a couple of days they could have spent here. However, since Fang wanted to get back to Feung as soon as possible., I told Sang and Juang to go ahead and leave with them too. I didn't want Fang on the road alone with Thap. He proved himself to be a good guy when he didn't hold what I did to him against me. He's still a guy though and since Fang called me P'Khap I have to look after her like I do Juang. Juang cries as she hugs me. I let her go and walk up to Sang. I give him a small hug.
K: Thanks for having by back brother.”
S: You know I always do. Just remember today Ai Khap. One day, I might need you to forgive me too.”
K: I'll always forgive you.”
S: Remember those words Ai Khap.”
I hit him on the shoulders. I watch as both cars drive off. I turn around and see P'Got.
K: P'Got. I am sorry again for the other night. I want to let you know that I will probably be leaving here soon also. I thank you for helping me out in my time of need.”
G: Khap, this place welcomes you anytime. I do have a favor to ask you. Since I will be down a fighter, I need you to train someone to take you place. Can you stay another month and do that for me?”
I want to go back to Feung today. I know I need to get some help first though. I want to go back to her a better man than before. Someone worth her giving another chance too. I agree to stay another month to help P'Got. I also coordinated some sessions with Dr. Pedchai over the phone. We have two sessions a week to work on my anger issues. I'm getting better. What I don't tell Dr. Pedchai is that my anger dissipates whenever I think about Feung. I am counting down the days till I can go home again.

 
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Feung -
Fang comes back from her school trip sooner than I expected. I'm glad that she's home though. I feel uncomfortable when I am home alone with my father. Things are slowly getting back to normal now. Other than this gaping hole in my heart, I am starting to find comfort in working with the kids. My sadness over what happened with Khun Khap was affecting their emotions also. Parob took Khun Khap's leaving almost as bad as I did. He reverted back to his old ways of just following me around.
Si: Feung. I need you to do me a favor.”
Fe: What do you need me to do P'Sinjai?”
Si: When you are available, can you go and clean my house up some? I have someone from Phuket interested in buying the house.”
Fe: You want to sell the house?”
Si: We have a nice place here at the orphanage. Unless once you buy the place you won't be willing for us to still stay here?”
Fe: No, not at all. You can stay here as long as you want. You have spend as much blood, sweat, and tears on this place as I have. Phuket is quite a ways away. What makes them want to buy a place in Khai BangRajun?”
Si: It's funny where the heart leads you sometimes.”
Fe: I'll go and clean it tomorrow morning. When is the new owner supposed to be coming?
Si: They should be here by the end of the week. Thanks so much for doing that Feung.”
She gives me a small smile before walking off. I haven't been in that house since he left. I guess I'll deal with those emotions tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I am tasked with facing my past. As a enter the house, I am flooded by the memories of him. Stolen hugs and kisses. Whispers of sweet words. I wipe those thoughts away and remember his cruel words. I could have forgiven him about being engaged. I understood his explanation. His cruel words about me having many hearts still assaults me though. I can never forgive what he said. After I had given him more that what I've given anyone else. I finish cleaning the house close to noon. I placed all of his belongings in a bag and gave it to P'Sinjai to decide what she wanted to do with them. I continue on my day as normal. As I was cooking lunch for the kids a few days later, P'Sinjai asked me to take a plate to the house. The new owner had arrived. I walk out of the orphanage and noticed a car there. It wasn't on that I recognized. It probably belonged to the new owner of the house. As I walked in the house, my world crashed around me as I came face to face with the new owner. It was Khun Khap.
K: Feung.”
I dropped the plate of food and took off. I wasn't sure where I was going but I needed to get away from him. I felt the tears in my eyes. I should be over him. Why am I crying? I can feel him chasing me. He catches me next to our spot by the laKe. He is holding me from behind tightly, like a snake that has caught his prey. I struggle to get out of his hold but it's useless. He is stronger than me. He doesn't say anything. He just holds me. I can feel the wetness falling from his face and on to my shoulders. I'm sure the pain in my face echos his. The tears are falling down my face also. We stay like this forever. He calls my name again.
K: Feung.”
He turns me around so I can see his face. He's changed. He looks older. Thinner. Worn out. It looks like he hadn't shaved in a while. As I study his face, he leans in for a kiss. I bask in the warmth of his kiss until I remember his cruel words. I push him away and run again. He grabs my arm.
K: Feung, listen to me. Please let me explain. I was wrong. I was stupid. I misunderstood what I saw. I thought the worse. It's because I love you so much. I let the anger and jealousy overshadow the love I have for you. Please give me another chance.”
F: You hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before. Even the pain I feel when my father calls me useless pales in comparison with the pain you caused me. I can't forgive you. The words you said that day will forever be tattooed in my brain.”
I turn to walk away again. He gets in front of me and falls to his knees. He grabs me by both of my ankles and bows his head down.
K: Feung. I am begging you. Please give me another chance. I promise I would do whatever it takes to give you a comfortable life. I will spend the rest of my life making up what I said to you. I love you so much. If you won't give me another chance...If you won't forgive me..Just go ahead and kill me now. Right here. I'm dead without you. I know I have no right to ask for you to be with me. You are too good for me. What does a guy like me to offer you? I've been disowned by my father. I have no money to my name. All I can give you is my heart. You have my heart. If you don't want it anymore, just kill it and let me be done with this life.”
I'm crying out all the feelings I've suppressed these past few months. I fall on my knees in front of him. We are both crying. Crying for the past crying for the future. How much pain can a person have in a lifetime. I want to forgive him but I can't.
Fe: I want to forgive you but I can't. The hurt you made me feel. I can't go through that again. I won't survive it.”
K: You won't go through that again. I promise.”
I shake my head no. I have to get away from him. I get up to walk away and he grabs me again. This time he covers my mouth. Then, the lights turn off.

 
Khap -
I'm scum. I didn't want to resort to this. I was hoping she would forgive me and we would start our happily ever after. She didn't. Now I have to go with Plan B. I knew there was a good possibility that I would have to go with Plan B which I why I switched by bike out with Juang's car. Sang can take her around to where she needs to go. Plan B is to kidnap her and force her to hear me out. No matter what, I am not letting her go again. We are on the way to Phuket now. She's been out for a couple of hours. I am hoping I didn't use too much of that sleeping medication. I check ever so often to make sure she is breathing. She is. I need to call Fang and let her know what is going on.
  K: Fang. “
  Fa: P'Khap, do you now where P'Feung is? I can't find her anywhere.”
I look over at Feung.
K: She's with me. We are going to go away for a few days.”
Fa: Ai Khap! Don't do anything to my sister! I trusted you! Bring her back her right now!”
K: I won't hurt her. I need her to hear me out. I'll bring her back home safe and sound Fang. I promise. Just trust me. I need to fix this.”
Fa: If there is a hair missing from my sister, I am going to kill you myself!”
K: And I'll let you. I just wanted you to know she was with me and not to worry. I'll talk to you soon.”
I hang up with Fang and look over at Feung. I brush the hair out of the eyes. My Mae Feung. I love her so much. My gaze falls to her lips. Those are my lips. I'm going to kiss them again soon enough. She stirs a bit. It takes her a while to come to and realize where she is at.
Fe: Khun Khap? Where are we? Why am I here?”
K: We're going to Phuket.”
Fe: How did I get here? Why are we going to Phuket?”
K: You saw the best of me and you saw the worst of me. Now I am going to show you all of me.”
I turn away from her shocked expression and continue driving.
 

jjinxx

Is your "nom" Fai-approved?
555 I'm proud of Fang! She is right to be wary of Khap and I'm glad shes making him get more help. She called him p'Khap too so a part of her already accepts him!
 
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