am i being selfish here?

[cutefuzzy]

How should I put this...erm...well i've been really really close with this one person in my life. She's more than a bff to me now and yeah I cherish her A LOT. So having her in my life is like a routine already you know. The problem starts this year for some reason. She's facing some exam and studying her butt off for it. Nothing biggie there, i noe.

But it turns into a problem when this study thingy of hers is starting to neglect our 'catch-up time' you know. She cant seem to balance it (like i do) like certain hours to study and certain hours just to relax and spend time (like we used to) For the first few months I tried to just give in and understand, but I kinda got fed-up recently and just let it all out on her. We've been quarelling a lot these days =.=

I told her i feel like she's neglecting this friendship part of ours n etc. She said she knows and am trying hard to balance everything out. So ok then, I accepted it again. But now, I realize that even during this certain time she allocated for our 'catch up time', it seems like she's forcing herself to go through it. Like whatever she talks to me, just makes me get more annoyed towards her.

I dont know what to do anymore! Am I being selfish here for wanting to at least spend some time wif her? I mean shes already like my family already...sigh, am i wrong for feeling angry about this? am i the insensitive one?? I dont know...i tried very hard to understand her part (the exams and all) but hey, we'll be facing more and more exams as we pursue uni life. How long is this going to go on??

what do y'all think? (this friendship means a lot to me, but if its going to hurt me more now...i've thought of juz giving up on this)
but theres this one lil part in me asking me to soldier on...

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

You know what to be honest...theres nothing wrong with feeling the way you do...but what you have to know is that as time goes on and people grow up, people tend to grow apart. Especially after high school. Individuals need to work and go to skool and try to create a better life for themselves in the future. And if she's neglecting your friendship due to skool studies then let it be. It will only be best for her to concentrate in skool. I'm sure she's not doing it on purpose, but it's an important priority. When time comes loose like summer or something try to get together then. Other then that don't push it too much.

Also just to let you know you sounded like you were her boyfriend for a sec there. I had to go into your profile to find out if you were a guy or not. Cause if so I would think you had a crush on her or something. No offense.

 

[cutefuzzy]

Yeah, I kinda figured that out as well. And no offense taken...i guess I just treat her so much like my lil sis and that affects me at times. Thanks though, i just needed someone to reconfirm it.

 

[judyp]

i agree with babeelailai; people grow up and people tend to grow apart. its normal. i don't think your friend is doing it intentionally because school is a priority. i was once in a situation similar to yours, except i was the one who was busy with school. and although my friend and i have distanced a lot, we are still close and keep in touch. if she's sort of "distancing" herself from you because of school..more power to her because in the long run, she's doing it for her future and what you can do as a friend is support her. im sure she would appreciate your support more than anything.

 

[Thookatha]

wow, ur so evil n selfish...LOL...jk...

itz natural 2 feel what ur feeling, but soon u might be the same way as her. itz just part of growing up, babygirl...

 

[Liberty]

Real friends understand no matter what.
Yes, she might not be spending as much time with you as she normally has in the past but like others have said, people grow up and their relationships change. You have to grow and adapt if you want the friendship to last.

In the end school should be her first priority. School is what is going to help her achieve her goals and in dreams in life and help pay the bills. Your friendship won't do that for her.
I went through this with my bff. She's more like a sister to me because we've known each other since the first grade and I'm not almost 27. So yeah, lots of history there. After we left high school we didn't talk much and I rarely got to see her but she understood that school is important to me. I also understood that she can't always come visit me because she has her kids to think about and can't always find the time.

 

[Mya]

Give her time. In the end, she'll love you all the more for understanding!

 

[cutefuzzy]

thanks a lot gurls...yeah, i really needed that reality check up whacked straight into my thick skull lol.
thanks gurls =]

 

[Nameless]

had a friend move away to another country from me. we were close since grade 1. still keep in contact, but not so much.