❤️ Various ET News

byebye

sarNie OldFart
Seeing it from Bow's side, no one wants to believe a 10 years relationship is over. Some are in complete denial as 10 years is a very long time to share your life with someone. I think, from what is out there, I would blame Got more...until further informations are out. If he knew his feelings are barely there to make the relationship, he needs to be direct...and as direct or blunt as possible. Breaking up is extremely hard when the years are that long. Him going on vacation and such with her just gives her false hopes.

False hopes are the worse when the person that are giving it out already has one foot over the door. He had asked for break ups before, if that's the case he has checked himself out that relationship a while back. Bow desperately wanted the relationship to work so him lightly asking for a break up isn't going to work. If he asked more than once, meaning whatever the tone or however way he asked she must thought it wasn't serious.

There is a lesson to be learn here. Never ever let a man tells you he doesn't want you twice. If he says, I want a break up, it's over...even with a slight smile start making your move to be single. No man would ever entertain the idea of a break up if he truly loves you.
 

neenavaj

sarNie Adult
I agree with @byebye

10 years a very long time. Some couples who actually love each other can't even get this many years together. Either love or leave, its that simple really. If you have fallen out of love, be direct so the other person knows there is no hope. Moving on is hard but its in our nature to eventually find something better for ourselves.
 

maimyang

keep on keepin’ on. ✨
I agree !!!! 10 years with one person, you spent sooo much time with that person, she saw it was special.
She must’ve been shocked when he wanted to break up. It’s a grieving process thing too. She’s prob in the bargaining stage, etc before she can fully accept the truth it’s over.
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
Many red flag moments

From our information we got....

To me...it seems they tried for 10 years...he took many breaks...it eventually got worse...not better....

I'm sorry ppl feel bad it's been 10 years....but she chose to stay....it's her responsibility....I don't feel bad for either 1. He also chose to stay and try...

Being in a long relationship is not an obligation to keep staying when you're not happy.

I don't blame anyone

Bow - I felt ignored signs and his words....she is rationalizing things to make it fit what she wants.

Got - It seems he was somewhat clear but not clear enough...stern

Again, we don't know anything or what was said. Everyone want to interpret it how they want it to be...should it be...how it is suppose to be.

Ex : Noon and Kade. They all blame noon when it was Kade (revealed in the future)

I know many ppl who linger in a relationship because they aren't brave enough to do it....they feel bad and get suck in....they do it out of guilt

^^..Probably...^^

***Got - it's been a long time...maybe I shouldn't give up....

Goes back...

Bow - he comes back and is still trying. Everything is all good. **

I see many relationship that is similar to and I myself have been In this type of relationship

I use to think it was soo bad to ghost ppl. Then something happened with me. The person was soo pushy and even hostile...

I was very clear.....at that moment I understand why people rather chose to ghost people

"Those in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones."
 

WeirFany

sarNie Adult
@spanky I completely agree, if there's anyone to feel bad for, I wouldn't really feel bad for either.

Got deserves the flack he's getting now for how he chose to end it. But Bow put herself in this situation by ignoring his feelings and past words of him asking to break up or etc. I feel like many of not all of us on this forum and alot of netizens who are commenting on this break up are women so they naturally are more immediately blaming Got and feeling sorry for Bow. Yes, its a pity that this is how 10 year ended but better to have it end while both are still young and healthy. She's Beautiful and talented, clearly with lots of love to give so she will be fine once she accepts that he is not her person either.

On another note, I've been seeing so many question why Mark and Kimmy both unfollowed Supassara while she still follows them. I can understand fans being curious bc I thought they were a pretty friendly trio.
 

nat12

sarNie Adult
I really dislike people obsessing about who celebs follow or unfollow on social media, but indeed it’s curious if both Mark & Kim unfollow Kao.

In terms of celebs dating, I really admire Toey J in this particular aspect. Her previous relationships were public, and ended without drama. Even after they ended, she’s friends with her exes and can meet each other at events. A lot of drama is generated by the public & media anyway, and what little there was she still remained cool & upbeat throughout.

@spanky I also understand ghosting is bad but when my mental health declined badly, I felt like it was my only option. It’s that feeling that I can’t control what others think or do anyway but I can control what I can do. Ghosting is like me choosing to distance myself from a toxic situation. It’s probably an unhealthy way to deal with things, but I was already struggling anyway so let’s just say I was not capable of making the best decisions.
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
@spanky I completely agree, if there's anyone to feel bad for, I wouldn't really feel bad for either.

Got deserves the flack he's getting now for how he chose to end it. But Bow put herself in this situation by ignoring his feelings and past words of him asking to break up or etc. I feel like many of not all of us on this forum and alot of netizens who are commenting on this break up are women so they naturally are more immediately blaming Got and feeling sorry for Bow. Yes, its a pity that this is how 10 year ended but better to have it end while both are still young and healthy. She's Beautiful and talented, clearly with lots of love to give so she will be fine once she accepts that he is not her person either.

On another note, I've been seeing so many question why Mark and Kimmy both unfollowed Supassara while she still follows them. I can understand fans being curious bc I thought they were a pretty friendly trio.

People will flame me for this...but I don't care... I'm not saying with a malice intent or hate.

I'm not hating on them or is intentionally being offensive....but I know certain crazy fan will get offended....

I always felt that Kim's interactions with Kao seem off to me.....I also felt like Kao was weary and careful with her interactions with Mark....

That was the vibe and gut instead i had when i see them.

when they film My forver sunshine....i watched the BTS and joked...(in a sense my subconscious wasn't joking)

Kao didn't dare to do that to Mark because she's afraid of Kim's wraft.

Kao played many roles and had no issues with touchy scenes sooo....

I could be completely off base....but that was the vibe/gut instinct I got.


@nat12

Before I might not fully understanding ghosting becauseI'm a straight forward person who is not easily sensitive....I been ghost before and I was like whatever....I didn't need a closure...their actions said it all...they are not into it....no biggy move on

I had to ghost someone and block them. I told them I'm not into them. They were pushy and hostile.
 

byebye

sarNie OldFart
Many red flag moments

From our information we got....

To me...it seems they tried for 10 years...he took many breaks...it eventually got worse...not better....

I'm sorry ppl feel bad it's been 10 years....but she chose to stay....it's her responsibility....I don't feel bad for either 1. He also chose to stay and try...

Being in a long relationship is not an obligation to keep staying when you're not happy.

I don't blame anyone

Bow - I felt ignored signs and his words....she is rationalizing things to make it fit what she wants.

Got - It seems he was somewhat clear but not clear enough...stern

Again, we don't know anything or what was said. Everyone want to interpret it how they want it to be...should it be...how it is suppose to be.

Ex : Noon and Kade. They all blame noon when it was Kade (revealed in the future)

I know many ppl who linger in a relationship because they aren't brave enough to do it....they feel bad and get suck in....they do it out of guilt

^^..Probably...^^

***Got - it's been a long time...maybe I shouldn't give up....

Goes back...

Bow - he comes back and is still trying. Everything is all good. **

I see many relationship that is similar to and I myself have been In this type of relationship

I use to think it was soo bad to ghost ppl. Then something happened with me. The person was soo pushy and even hostile...

I was very clear.....at that moment I understand why people rather chose to ghost people

"Those in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones."
I don't know...when you have that many years invested in one person it takes a lot to walk away. When things goes wrong, you play a lot of scenarios in your head as to why it went south. No one is obligated to stay, but to wash away 10 years and act like nothing happen takes great discipline...but most human by nature does not have that ability. Emotions are too high to brush away even with 1 year let alone 10.

I have been married, 3 months shy of being 24 years. If something happens, I would probably be wondering silently why it didn't work. But I always think, that being with someone has only 2 options; you love me or you leave me. If he choose to leave the love wasn't there. If it wasn't there, I'm not fighting to save it.
 

maimyang

keep on keepin’ on. ✨
But just because something ends, doesn’t mean love was never there.. it just means things, feelings changed or ended.
IMG_7015.jpeg

“Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” too.
 

nat12

sarNie Adult
I always felt that Kim's interactions with Kao seem off to me.....I also felt like Kao was weary and careful with her interactions with Mark....
I don’t think you’re being malicious at all, just sharing what you feel. But I thought Kao’s interactions with Mark seemed like they’re normal colleagues? Not close but can work well together. Or was Kao just wary of the huge MK fan base and didn’t want to create drama?

Mark & Kim just revealed the wedding invites for their wedding in Italy. They’re having it in Lake Como. Wow:love:
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
I don't know...when you have that many years invested in one person it takes a lot to walk away. When things goes wrong, you play a lot of scenarios in your head as to why it went south. No one is obligated to stay, but to wash away 10 years and act like nothing happen takes great discipline...but most human by nature does not have that ability. Emotions are too high to brush away even with 1 year let alone 10.

I have been married, 3 months shy of being 24 years. If something happens, I would probably be wondering silently why it didn't work. But I always think, that being with someone has only 2 options; you love me or you leave me. If he choose to leave the love wasn't there. If it wasn't there, I'm not fighting to save it.
I admire people who can make it work and have that longevity.....but....realistically

Should 1 stay in a relationship you're miserable in? Say you probably been trying on and off for 5 years to work it out ... so one should continue to be miserable longer just because you been in it for soo long? They are not married...no kids to tie then...

Both are on a different page of the book

That is like toturing yourself...why? We have a long life to live....and we all deserve the right love

That work for some ppl when they find liked minded partners, with the same goals...commitment....we grow as a person...the person we are with need to grow with us...we need to understand how to be supportive

That works when you have someone with the same mindset to continues to mesh and grow with you...

Many ppl grow into different wave length

Psychology said...the first 2 years is the honeymoon period....after that you reveal your true self.

My bro in law...broke up from. 14 years....he knew my sister was the 1. He married her within 2 years.

He is 1 of many examples of real life people's situations.


Yes, it does take a lot to walk away...but most ppl are in a bad cycle....my last 5 years of my 8 yr relationship wad a bad up and down cycles....the reason I stayed that long was because I invested in it....but if I had a mindset of not being soo dead set in staying ....cuz I want it to work because we been together for soo long...

If I knew and was more experienced. I would have left and not be in the limbo...

I have no regrets...I learn and grew from it...now I know better of what I want and how to express it and what I will or will not tolerate (deal breakers)

My current friend....I saw her doing the same thing .....they broke up consistently...yearly. always fighting....but she loved him and had hope....he sorta of try once they fight and then go back to the same habit.

I advised her of my situation....she said they are trying and he is trying...therefore is ok and better.....

That is us in a bubble....but we are together so long...they are "trying" ...they got better

They again broke up and he left....he stay because it was easy and he was conplicent.....no one was surprised....their relationship been toxic for 3 years....they were together for about 6

She just told me she wish she listened to me better....she chose to ignore the red flags....in a delusional bubble.

You can't find the right 1 with the same value until you leave the unfit one

I.e....Cinderella step sister...trying to fit the glass slippers to their feet than didn't fit...In...the book they cut off their toes...creating pain and destruction to fit it.
 

byebye

sarNie OldFart
I admire people who can make it work and have that longevity.....but....realistically

Should 1 stay in a relationship you're miserable in? Say you probably been trying on and off for 5 years to work it out ... so one should continue to be miserable longer just because you been in it for soo long? They are not married...no kids to tie then...

Both are on a different page of the book

That is like toturing yourself...why? We have a long life to live....and we all deserve the right love

That work for some ppl when they find liked minded partners, with the same goals...commitment....we grow as a person...the person we are with need to grow with us...we need to understand how to be supportive

That works when you have someone with the same mindset to continues to mesh and grow with you...

Many ppl grow into different wave length

Psychology said...the first 2 years is the honeymoon period....after that you reveal your true self.

My bro in law...broke up from. 14 years....he knew my sister was the 1. He married her within 2 years.

He is 1 of many examples of real life people's situations.


Yes, it does take a lot to walk away...but most ppl are in a bad cycle....my last 5 years of my 8 yr relationship wad a bad up and down cycles....the reason I stayed that long was because I invested in it....but if I had a mindset of not being soo dead set in staying ....cuz I want it to work because we been together for soo long...

If I knew and was more experienced. I would have left and not be in the limbo...

I have no regrets...I learn and grew from it...now I know better of what I want and how to express it and what I will or will not tolerate (deal breakers)

My current friend....I saw her doing the same thing .....they broke up consistently...yearly. always fighting....but she loved him and had hope....he sorta of try once they fight and then go back to the same habit.

I advised her of my situation....she said they are trying and he is trying...therefore is ok and better.....

That is us in a bubble....but we are together so long...they are "trying" ...they got better

They again broke up and he left....he stay because it was easy and he was conplicent.....no one was surprised....their relationship been toxic for 3 years....they were together for about 6

She just told me she wish she listened to me better....she chose to ignore the red flags....in a delusional bubble.

You can't find the right 1 with the same value until you leave the unfit one

I.e....Cinderella step sister...trying to fit the glass slippers to their feet than didn't fit...In...the book they cut off their toes...creating pain and destruction to fit it.
I am totally different from my husband. Our mindset is completely opposite. I don't really like ninety percent of the things he likes to do. He's very detailed and goal driven. I on the other hand, doesn't like to do anything that requires a lot of energy lol. He works hard to get to where he is today, I expect to be taken care of...but somehow we worked as a couple.

No one is saying torturing oneself for a sake of a relationship, but if there's no abuse or anything dramatic, calling it quits is not that easy. And some people are so afraid to be alone they want to hang on to something even if they know there's a dead end ahead. Also, life is full of uncertainties...not everyone live a long life. And relationship is such a complex matter, it's never going to be a one size fit all. Everyone deserves to be in a long loving relationship, but not everyone will ever achieve that in their lifetime.
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
I am totally different from my husband. Our mindset is completely opposite. I don't really like ninety percent of the things he likes to do. He's very detailed and goal driven. I on the other hand, doesn't like to do anything that requires a lot of energy lol. He works hard to get to where he is today, I expect to be taken care of...but somehow we worked as a couple.

No one is saying torturing oneself for a sake of a relationship, but if there's no abuse or anything dramatic, calling it quits is not that easy. And some people are so afraid to be alone they want to hang on to something even if they know there's a dead end ahead. Also, life is full of uncertainties...not everyone live a long life. And relationship is such a complex matter, it's never going to be a one size fit all. Everyone deserves to be in a long loving relationship, but not everyone will ever achieve that in their lifetime.

Not that mindset...that sounds more like 2 ppl with different personalities..a mindset of wanting to be and stay together..

You been together for 25 years... you both have the same mindset *to want to sustain and be together.* Or else you wouldn't be

Ofc along with trust...respect...love...but even if that, if 2 ppl want different things that can't sustain a relationship. That is why it is important to have the same mindset to want to be together regardless and to do so.

Example:

My mindset....together no matter what make it work. We will work it out, marry have kids...ect.

His- it is too hard now, I don't want to do it anymore.

*** different mindset ****

What i need was someone with the same mindset who also think we are together no mater what as a team and will work it out.

also accepting and loving each other no matter what...esp....at our worse.

what usual happens is resentment has occurred in lack of functional communications and not being in the same mindset in a relationship

A mindset of wanting to still work it out...being on a same page in a relationship...and when it isn't...wanting to continue and then meet on the same page.

There is nothing wrong with being different. My sister and her hubby are opposite in personality and attitude.

my friend and her hubby.- different but same mindset.

-they both want a family - won't give up on each other - accept each other at their worse- no grudge

Sometimes she gets fussy...moody...he knows and understands.

He don't get mad (in turn it won't become resentment). Always maintain and date...do sweet things

These relationship is like a car ...if you don't care to do the maintenance on it...it will break down....when it breaks....if you don't care or have the mindset to want to continue to fix it...it dies...

Quote *Also, life is full of uncertainties...not everyone live a long life. And relationship is such a complex matter, it's never going to be a one size fit all. Everyone deserves to be in a long loving relationship, but not everyone will ever achieve that in their lifetime.**** Quote

⏫️⏫️⏫️

Yes....therefore ..Do what makes you happy. If the relationship doesn't bring you happiness...staying just to stay because it's been 7 yrs..10 yrs...is torture..miserable and also stealing more time from the other person.
It shouldn't be too much work. I.e. my friend. They fought pretty much weekly for 5 years...they have moments where it was a good 3 weeks....then repeat...

Mine was 8 years...at least 4 yrs of battling to sustain it and it was mostly me. Counseling methods...ect. I wish I had someone tell me... you don't need to stay/shouldn't go because it almost been 10 years.

Again I had that mindset and in retrospective he went along because it was easier..he thought ok I'll try. I chose to rationale the red flags. our mindset was different and we both want a different type of relationship. But he always "tried" or seem like he was.

We are cool with each other. About a year ago...he said to me...he wish he had the same Mindset as me when we were in a relationship, but he didn't and he regrets it. I feel timing is important as well.

I'm speaking from my experiences of being in a long term and had a rude awakening that it won't work just because I want this or that. The person needs to want that with me...

I also don't see it as a cost benefit...time don't always gauge what is right for us. Timing is also important.

Did I have regret (8 yrs gone ). Heck ya....but I turn that into a positive....I better myself...level up...i didn't linger on it....now I know myself better and know what I want in a relationship. So my next one, I know to be with someone who wants the same thing (mindset). Recognizing and accepting red flags.

I.e. say I want to get marry. I would date a person with the same mindset/intentions to want to get marry. We need to align our page up in what a relationship is to us and what we both want and need. What is a deal breaker? Ect.

If you want to date with intentions..long term

avoid these mindset.

1. Fuck boys
2. FwB
3. Hook ups
4. He's not into you. - listen/see the read flag the red flags -
 
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byebye

sarNie OldFart
Not that mindset...that sounds more like 2 ppl with different personalities..a mindset of wanting to be and stay together..

You been together for 25 years... you both have the same mindset *to want to sustain and be together.* Or else you wouldn't be

Ofc along with trust...respect...love...but even if that, if 2 ppl want different things that can't sustain a relationship. That is why it is important to have the same mindset to want to be together regardless and to do so.

Example:

My mindset....together no matter what make it work. We will work it out, marry have kids...ect.

His- it is too hard now, I don't want to do it anymore.

*** different mindset ****

What i need was someone with the same mindset who also think we are together no mater what as a team and will work it out.

also accepting and loving each other no matter what...esp....at our worse.

what usual happens is resentment has occurred in lack of functional communications and not being in the same mindset in a relationship

A mindset of wanting to still work it out...being on a same page in a relationship...and when it isn't...wanting to continue and then meet on the same page.

There is nothing wrong with being different. My sister and her hubby are opposite in personality and attitude.

my friend and her hubby.- different but same mindset.

-they both want a family - won't give up on each other - accept each other at their worse- no grudge

Sometimes she gets fussy...moody...he knows and understands.

He don't get mad (in turn it won't become resentment). Always maintain and date...do sweet things

These relationship is like a car ...if you don't care to do the maintenance on it...it will break down....when it breaks....if you don't care or have the mindset to want to continue to fix it...it dies...

Quote *Also, life is full of uncertainties...not everyone live a long life. And relationship is such a complex matter, it's never going to be a one size fit all. Everyone deserves to be in a long loving relationship, but not everyone will ever achieve that in their lifetime.**** Quote

⏫️⏫️⏫️

Yes....therefore ..Do what makes you happy. If the relationship doesn't bring you happiness...staying just to stay because it's been 7 yrs..10 yrs...is torture..miserable and also stealing more time from the other person.
It shouldn't be too much work. I.e. my friend. They fought pretty much weekly for 5 years...they have moments where it was a good 3 weeks....then repeat...

Mine was 8 years...at least 4 yrs of battling to sustain it and it was mostly me. Counseling methods...ect. I wish I had someone tell me... you don't need to stay/shouldn't go because it almost been 10 years.

Again I had that mindset and in retrospective he went along because it was easier..he thought ok I'll try. I chose to rationale the red flags. our mindset was different and we both want a different type of relationship. But he always "tried" or seem like he was.

We are cool with each other. About a year ago...he said to me...he wish he had the same Mindset as me when we were in a relationship, but he didn't and he regrets it. I feel timing is important as well.

I'm speaking from my experiences of being in a long term and had a rude awakening that it won't work just because I want this or that. The person needs to want that with me...

I also don't see it as a cost benefit...time don't always gauge what is right for us. Timing is also important.

Did I have regret (8 yrs gone ). Heck ya....but I turn that into a positive....I better myself...level up...i didn't linger on it....now I know myself better and know what I want in a relationship. So my next one, I know to be with someone who wants the same thing (mindset). Recognizing and accepting red flags.

I.e. say I want to get marry. I would date a person with the same mindset/intentions to want to get marry. We need to align our page up in what a relationship is to us and what we both want and need. What is a deal breaker? Ect.

If you want to date with intentions..long term

avoid these mindset.

1. Fuck boys
2. FwB
3. Hook ups
4. He's not into you. - listen/see the read flag the red flags -
Being married as long as I have is complicated lol at least to me. There are days in my earlier years, where I wake up and ask myself WTH am I doing? We were arranged marriage, but if I was to actually had a choice I would not date him. Because he is too opposite from me. I have a time frame of 5 years that if it didn't work out by then, I would be fine just parting ways. And it was hard the first 5 years. Young, inexperienced, and very very naive. Sometimes, I don't even know how we managed this long together. Going into the marriage I expect nothing because I have no idea what marriage consists of...I was so young. If I asked my young self, did I see us lasting this long? My answer would be NO.

It was my 22 years of marriage where I can say, I couldn't see my life without him. Yes, it took that long. But mindset changes, to me anyway.
 

neenavaj

sarNie Adult
Being married as long as I have is complicated lol at least to me. There are days in my earlier years, where I wake up and ask myself WTH am I doing? We were arranged marriage, but if I was to actually had a choice I would not date him. Because he is too opposite from me. I have a time frame of 5 years that if it didn't work out by then, I would be fine just parting ways. And it was hard the first 5 years. Young, inexperienced, and very very naive. Sometimes, I don't even know how we managed this long together. Going into the marriage I expect nothing because I have no idea what marriage consists of...I was so young. If I asked my young self, did I see us lasting this long? My answer would be NO.

It was my 22 years of marriage where I can say, I couldn't see my life without him. Yes, it took that long. But mindset changes, to me anyway.
You had an arrange marriage, WOW...not too common anymore. However, I have seen *based on Netflix's Indian matchmaking* arrange marriages tend to last longer then love marriages on that show lol...its a very interesting way to fall in love. Even my parents got married after 5 days and I wonder, WTH were you thinking but they been together for 20+ years now. You start to question long term dating really. lol
 
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nat12

sarNie Adult
Damn, Lake Como...one of the world's most popular wedding destinations. They must be banking to afford a wedding there.
Right? That was my first thought too! That’s basically Hollywood A-list wedding venue choice (I think Clooney had his wedding there). I mean obviously I don’t think their wedding will be on the same scale as Hollywood A-listers (unless they really have the wedding at some castle or whatever), but still that’s nothing to scoff at.

And I’m normally the person who doesn’t care much for weddings. Lol
 

nat12

sarNie Adult
I have mad respect for whoever who makes marriage life or long-term relationship work, the longer especially if the relationship has lasted a long time. No matter how it started, but arranged marriage, wow, that’s even more challenging, @byebye . Major props to you & your husband.

And I agree with @spanky… differing personalities is one thing, but similar mindset and having the same commitment to being in the relationship together is what keeps it together. It’s like being in the same boat. One person can love the sun, the other can hate it. But if they’re already in the same boat what keeps both of them safely inside is the commitment that they have to not abandon each other, to be willing to agree on what needs to be done to ensure the safety/survival of both, and go in the same direction. Just by wanting to go in different directions, that’s a crisis for two people on a rowboat. You’ll be spending a lot of energy going nowhere.

My parents have been married for over 40 years and have such different personalities and came from such different family backgrounds that I’m always amazed how they even started dating in the first place. But throughout their entire marriage what I learnt from them is no matter the disagreements, they both demonstrated give & take very well. At different times, either would give in. I never felt like either was dominating the other too much… it’s basically one time my dad would give in, another time my mom would.

I imagine a less harmonious relationship where the parties had lost love for each other, then the sense of commitment would be lost too. Therefore there’s less motivation to communicate and compromise.
 

byebye

sarNie OldFart
You had an arrange marriage, WOW...not too common anymore. However, I have seen *based on Netflix's Indian matchmaking* arrange marriages tend to last longer then love marriages on that show lol...its a very interesting way to fall in love. Even my parents got married after 5 days and I wonder, WTH were you thinking but they been together for 20+ years now. You start to question long term dating really. lol
Arrange marriage works, but my goodness, takes a lot of work. The getting to know each other phase is the most difficult. Most couples already know one another before marriage and then here I am trying to figure out how to manage someone that is completely opposite of me. But at the same time it is fascinating. We got married in our 20s...very young, then our 30s we changed and learned...by our 40s we are starting to grow old together and that's probably the best part of the relationship.
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
Being married as long as I have is complicated lol at least to me. There are days in my earlier years, where I wake up and ask myself WTH am I doing? We were arranged marriage, but if I was to actually had a choice I would not date him. Because he is too opposite from me. I have a time frame of 5 years that if it didn't work out by then, I would be fine just parting ways. And it was hard the first 5 years. Young, inexperienced, and very very naive. Sometimes, I don't even know how we managed this long together. Going into the marriage I expect nothing because I have no idea what marriage consists of...I was so young. If I asked my young self, did I see us lasting this long? My answer would be NO.

It was my 22 years of marriage where I can say, I couldn't see my life without him. Yes, it took that long. But mindset changes, to me anyway.

Yes...all relationships is work. ...takes a lot to sustain it....what the most important thing for it...is two ppl wanting it...like the thai saying. " It takes 2 hands to clap"

Fireproof movie

Caleb Holt: “When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her. He learns her likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her, he often stops learning about her.”

But when 2 ppl have the mindset to stay ...work and keep going...it will progress and continue

I wss going for counseling. ..we watched fireproof....a great move. Highly recommend it.

Michael Simmons: “Fireproof doesn’t mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it.”

A couple on the verge of divorce.... they reevaluate and want to continue and keep maintenance ....what is their priority...what is truly important

It's a choice.

I can choose to want to continue...work on it and sustain it

But

If he doesn't .....it won't work

A shoe that don't fit

I feel arranged marriage is a good thing....it worked for alot of ppl....it was more common in the past...some still practice it now...matching...

But again...but party need to have a mindset of wanting marriage...similar morals...wanting to maintain...work on it...grow...

I admire and envy those who are doing so.
 
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